Parent/teacher conference situation

[nsl]

Backstory: My son's middle school recently announced that they were cancelling traditional parent/teacher conferences this month and instead students would be preparing portfolios of work from various classes to present to their parents and advisory teachers during scheduled 10-minute meetings in March, right before the end of the term. The school prides itself on being very progressive and student-led, so on one hand this change fits right in with that ethos. On the other hand, I know that our parent/teacher conferences are always very well attended, and I know I've benefited from talking directly with DS's teachers about how he's doing in their classes and how we can support them at home. It's also nice to put faces with the names I hear about when we talk about school.

There have also been several issues this year specifically with 7th grade math (original teacher was hired even though she wasn't qualified to teach the class, and was fired before Thanksgiving for gross incompetence) that have left a lot of parents unhappy with the way school leadership is handling academics. Advisory teachers aren't necessarily teachers the students have except for advisory, which is 30 minutes once a week where they do SEL activities. DS's is the dance teacher, and while she's a great person I don't think she can speak with any authority if I have questions about something he's showing us from social studies.

The parent group on Facebook, which is rarely active except to complain about parents who double-park in front of the school during drop-off and pickup times, is up in arms. I actually emailed the principal last night encouraging her to check out the group if she hadn't already, and also asking if she could explain the thinking behind changing the format of the conferences because I was struggling to understand what their value would be if we have to turn around and reach out afterwards to all of our kids' teachers anyway for more information than the advisory teacher could provide.

All of which is to say, please click the poll and I'd love to know if anyone has had experiences with this type of parent/teacher conference.

[mrsGreeko]

Yeah our MS does student led conferences, actually the Elementary sort of does too. I hate it. I can talk to my kid about his grades at home. I want to talk to teachers. But, since my kid is a problem kid I also don’t want to not go to conferences so the teachers can say, “oh well those parents of that problem kid don’t even care to attend conferences.” So I go, grit my teeth, and feel like it’s mostly a waste of time. And be glad the the high school is just regular conferences. Only 5 more middle school conferences to go.

ETA: all conferences are supposed to be with the student for K-12, which I also dislike because sometimes I need to discuss things without a kid present. I understand why they want the kid to be there, but when you have a kid who is really struggling sometimes you really need to discuss things in a different manner. Oh well.

[nicolewi]

We have these. I think they are kind of dumb. To me, this is like an old-school open house event...go and see your kids' work. It's not really a "conference".

Fall--elementary is meet with the teacher, which I like. HOWEVER, now many teachers strongly encourage you to BRING your KID which I strongly dislike and often do not do. The teacher I do not like basically made the fall conference student-led. MOst of what I want to talk about is often sensitive or social and I want to talk to the teacher privately!

spring--elementary does student led. It's fine; it can be a good experience for kids, but if there were the ONLY conference I would be strongly opposed. It's kind of a lot of busy work for kids to put together these portfolios and doesn't really give parents a chance to talk privately about any real issues that may be going on.

Middle School & HS only have conferences basically if you or the teacher request them; so in the absence of serious issues, there is no conference at all.

[InBetweenDays]

I guess I prefer traditional parent teacher conference when they're younger. I didn't necessarily find them very useful because we usually just got "E/P are doing fine, no concerns, etc". But a student led conference with just the advisory teacher seems like it would just create busy work for the student and still not provide me with useful information.

All that being said, our district doesn't do conferences beyond elementary school (unless your student is in one if the few K-8 schools then they go to 8th grade) and I don't really see a need for scheduled conferences at that age. So from that perspective this change wouldn't bother me.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I don't really have an opinion on this because parent/teacher conferences for my kids stopped after elementary school. You can always request a conference with a teacher if you have a specific concern or issue.

All the schools here do an 'orientation' in the fall where you go to their classes and teachers present an overview of what they will be learning, and they stress not to ask teachers personal questions about your kid performances at this.

In the spring, they all do an 'open house' where the students have put together a folder of their work in each class and the kids take you around and show you stuff in their classrooms/the school and you can take their work home (actually I'm not sure if the hs still does this, ds is a freshman).

In elementary, they have conferences in the late fall, and then optional ones in the early spring. I always opted out of the optional ones unless I had specific questions about my kid(s) (so basically I went for ds but not for dd lol).

I honestly don't know how I would feel about a change from having a 1 on 1 conversation with a teacher to more of our open house type thing, but I'm guessing by middle school, most people don't need 1 on 1 conversations but would still like to know what their kids are doing, so I think I'd be fine with it. But people hate change, so I'm not surprised at the uproar.

[nsl]

Feb 10, 2024 11:29:19 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I don't really have an opinion on this because parent/teacher conferences for my kids stopped after elementary school. You can always request a conference with a teacher if you have a specific concern or issue.

All the schools here do an 'orientation' in the fall where you go to their classes and teachers present an overview of what they will be learning, and they stress not to ask teachers personal questions about your kid performances at this.

In the spring, they all do an 'open house' where the students have put together a folder of their work in each class and the kids take you around and show you stuff in their classrooms/the school and you can take their work home (actually I'm not sure if the hs still does this, ds is a freshman).

In elementary, they have conferences in the late fall, and then optional ones in the early spring. I always opted out of the optional ones unless I had specific questions about my kid(s) (so basically I went for ds but not for dd lol).

I honestly don't know how I would feel about a change from having a 1 on 1 conversation with a teacher to more of our open house type thing, but I'm guessing by middle school, most people don't need 1 on 1 conversations but would still like to know what their kids are doing, so I think I'd be fine with it. But people hate change, so I'm not surprised at the uproar.

This is kind of where I'm at. I liked the traditional conferences because it was a scheduled time to have a conversation about how my kid was doing, but I've never hesitated to contact a teacher if I have a specific question or concern. I'm trying to decide if my own resistance to this change is just because it's change, or if there's really something wrong with this portfolio idea.

[devonpow]

I think these accomplish two different things - for my kids (now in high school and 6th grade) conferences weren’t so much about what they were doing in class work wise (we found that out via homework, class shares, teacher emails etc) but about how my child fits in in thr group dynamic, how their behavior is, how they are in terms of organization/executive functioning, and how they are in terms of meeting standards). So …it sounds like none of those things are being addressed, it’s just going over what they are doing in school?

In our system conferences stop after fall of 6th grade unless you request it. At that point you are getting report cards with grades and the kids are obviously a bit more self sufficient/able to talk to teachers on their own for help etc.

So I personally don’t think they are equal but also I see why conferences aren’t as necessary after a certain age

[cmeon]

We don't have conferences past elementary, but I personally think the idea of student led conferences at that age is pretty cool. I do talk to my kids a lot, though- and they're not shy about telling me about what's happening at school. I think student led conferences could encourage those conversations for families who don't have that. It's at least worth giving them a shot.

[charlatti]

We had this for 8th grade second semester. At that point in 8th grade, we just wanted to talk to the teachers to get high school scheduling advice, so the student-led part was silly. For us, though, all the teachers were there and they just did a quick drop in convo with each family. That worked nicely — no need to schedule 10 minute slots for every teacher, and then we could flip through the portfolio she had made while waiting for her different teachers to come over.

[InBetweenDays]

Since we don't have them, I'm now wondering how conferences in middle and high school work. In elementary teachers generally have 25ish kids so 25ish conferences. Which is still a lot. But in middle and high school teachers probably have 100+ kids. How do they schedule time to meet with each family??

My guess is that may be the reason for the switch to the advisory teacher (who likely sees 25ish kids) overseeing a student led presentation of their work

[VillainV]

I can’t see the poll.

But if you have specific concerns about your kid, you should be able to email the teacher and set up a conference outside of whatever the school has scheduled.

[Jalapeñomel]

App users can’t see the poll, but we don’t have MS/HS conferences.

I’d reach out to the teachers directly if you’d like more info about your child’s progress in whatever class.

And I actually think this idea of students presenting their work in MS is cool!

[joy]

No, I wouldn’t have a problem with this. I think it’s good practice for everyone involved. The student reviews and presents their work, the parents take a step back from the overly hands-on elementary years and everyone is working towards a more independent high school experience.

Obviously you’re discussing with your kid what’s going on and watching their performance for red flags so you can help your kid either advocate for themselves or step in if needed. You can always contact teachers when/if necessary.

[nsl]

Feb 10, 2024 12:29:54 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

Since we don't have them, I'm now wondering how conferences in middle and high school work. In elementary teachers generally have 25ish kids so 25ish conferences. Which is still a lot. But in middle and high school teachers probably have 100+ kids. How do they schedule time to meet with each family??

My guess is that may be the reason for the switch to the advisory teacher (who likely sees 25ish kids) overseeing a student led presentation of their work

The short answer is that only 20% or so of parents routinely show up for conference days. As a teacher if I had a load of 180-ish students I'd expect to see at most 35 parents over 3-4 hours of conference time. Some parents prefer to communicate over email, some can't make the times work between jobs and other children, some don't care, some don't get the messages that conferences are happening. More parents skip them the older the kid gets.

[macmars45]

At this point I think H and I will always go to conferences if/when offered because our DS is autistic and struggles with school in more ways than academic. We need to be in the know to be able to help him at home.

This past fall DS' 2nd grade teacher told us she wished DS had attended his conference with us but we always have things to discuss that he doesn't need to hear so... too bad. :-p

[erbear]

Our school has always done the second conference as a student-led with advisor. The first (October) is no student, but parent and advisor. I love it. Parents can talk to teachers whenever they need to, and teachers are in contact with parents when kids are struggling. These conferences give kids a chance to reflect on and present their own academic and social wins and challenges. In a typical conference (30 minutes), I don’t talk at all — I have feedback from teachers if I need it but I rarely do — kids report honestly.

Logistically there is no world in which every teacher could be at every kid’s conference. Advisors are in close contact with the other teachers (I assume this is a private school — we talk about kids all day every day, and we meet twice a week as a whole team to talk about them more. You’re getting all the info.

That all said, the principal needs to explain it clearly if it’s a change. Parents hate change when they don’t understand the why. There is plenty of research out there to support using this model — she needs to include that.

And if you’re not finding the value in these conferences, your school isn’t setting them up right with the kids.

[mcppalmbeach]

My son’s teacher did them last year in 5th to help prepare him for middle school. I had mixed feelings. It was probably a good exercise for him to be able to self evaluate and discuss with the teacher. But it was clear that he, the teacher and I were already on the same page with a lot of it so just reviewing that was sort of pointless and took up the whole conference. The conference is so short and I had my own items to address with her specifically. I could have reserved a separate time, but let’s say she wasn’t the most approachable lovely person and so that kind of sucked.

[livinitup]

As a parent of an elementary school student who was achieving appropriate academic and social goals, it was obvious (at every grade level) that the teacher was unprepared to offer anything of value for us. It was all. “They’re doing great!” It was obvious that conferences were exclusively geared for “problems”. Even with prompting, teachers seemed baffled and flustered to offer anything more.

Middle school was Covid times for us, so absolutely zero.

So, student-led just seems like a spin on the theory that teachers don’t really need or want to conference with parents directly.

[abs]

We haven’t had conferences since 1st grade. Since then it’s been more open house style where kids show off their work. Its fine. I don’t like it because people but whatever. We were always able to schedule conferences as needed which we rarely did. We don’t attend open house in junior high because DD is busy playing in the band and can’t take us. It’d be weird to go on our own. We do go to the one in the fall that’s more meet the teacher/go over expectations.

[jeaniebueller]

I would t be too bothered about this. I have opted out of conferences for my kids in the past and just talk to the teacher if I have a question.

[UMaineTeach]

We do traditional in the fall and student led in the spring. They serve different purposes.

The traditional is for putting faces to names, seeing how the kid is starting off, and looking at end of year expectations. The conferences come several weeks before the first report card goes home.

The spring are meant to be a learning celebration where negative feedback is avoided. They are several weeks before the last report card goes home. The kid leads it and the teacher is kind of supervising. It’s like open house, but in April/May, when they can show artifacts from all year. The teachers put way more work into getting ready for the spring than the fall, but do way less the night of.

Other than that, the parents and teachers have to keep in contact at other times and other way.


I’d also like to push back on “the kids just do busy work to make things at the last minute” The kids have been saving work all year, get to go through the work and decide what to share, look for chances to show growth over time, sometimes put parts in a slideshow or bitmoji room to showcase technology goals, practice giving a presentation, sometimes write a reflection on their accomplishments and growth in whatever grade.

Not that this background work always shines through when a 4th grader is sitting at their desk with parents hovering trying to see a 13” laptop screen while the kid is clicking a hundred miles per hour or flashing papers left and right. But the portfolio goes home and any computer parts are in the kid’s Google classroom if anyone wants to look later.

[penguingrrl]

That sounds like a cool concept, but not a conference as I see them. We have conferences in early November (a full week of half days then to accommodate some afternoon conferences and some evening) then another since day in February. The one in February is by teacher request only, so if the teacher doesn’t reach out to you you don’t have a conference. Kids are not invited to attend and they make it clear they shouldn’t be present as the discussion is for parents and teachers to communicate freely.

By middle school you primarily go if you or the teacher has a specific concern since the teachers have so many more students. Some years I’ve gone to all, others I haven’t scheduled any. In HS we don’t have them at all except if there’s an issue.

[plutosmoon]

I prefer traditional conferences in case I have concerns I don't want DD to hear. DD seems to be struggling with her self esteem and even the slight hint of concern from me wrecks havoc. I usually have zero concerns regarding academic work, but more social emotional concerns. My DD has autism, so social emotional development, executive function, etc are far more relevant than her showing me a bunch of work she probably got As on. I know there are conferences once kids hit junior high (7th), but I have no idea how that works, but I wouldn't want this format with my 5th grader, which I think is middle school age in some places. I wouldn't complain if this was our format, but it doesn't feel particularly productive.

[sdlaura]

DS1’s teacher (4th grade) invited students to join the conference if student and parent wanted, and my DS1 wanted to join, and it ended up being great. But it was still a 30-minute conference and the teacher still led it.

DD’s (6th grade) teacher requires the student to attend but the teacher was still the one who talked about her grades and goals.

So I guess special snowflake - I have had good experiences with students being involved in the conference, but they are still standard length and led by the teacher. I also haven’t had any specific concerns to discuss that I didn’t feel comfortable talking about in front of my kids.

[imimahoney]

My kiddos elementary does that but they also have 1:1 conferences. I like the system. Conferences in the beginning of the year and the portfolio at the end.

My son's middle school doesn't even do conferences anymore. If you have a question, etc you need to set up a meeting with the teacher.

I'm guessing the school assumes most people only do conferences because they feel they have to and in the end very few actually need to.

[starburst]

The middle school I teach at has been doing student-led conferences for 20+ years (I've been there for 20 years and conferences have always been student-led as long as I've been there). However, all the teachers are there and available if you have questions or want to talk to a specific teacher. We just kind of mill around, greet people, and pop in and out of conferences, as needed.

[coltsfan85]

Feb 10, 2024 12:29:54 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

Since we don't have them, I'm now wondering how conferences in middle and high school work. In elementary teachers generally have 25ish kids so 25ish conferences. Which is still a lot. But in middle and high school teachers probably have 100+ kids. How do they schedule time to meet with each family??

My guess is that may be the reason for the switch to the advisory teacher (who likely sees 25ish kids) overseeing a student led presentation of their work

As a high school teacher, I only had 8 conference blocks per year and parents had to call to request them. I had over 125 students and often did not have 8 conferences.

[brooke77]

I don’t have a strong opinion on this yet, but I like the idea. DS is in 1st grade and I had one teacher/parent conference in the fall. The Spring teacher/parent conference will be student-led. My understanding is that the teacher will be there, but DS will be responsible for updating me on his progress.

[frlcb]

Our middle school didn't even require conferences until this year, only if there were issues. This year they made us have one in the Fall and it was pointless. I would be fine with what your school is doing. We do have a back to school night where we meet all the teachers and we have a night in the Spring where the student comes as well and shows us their work, so for those who don't have concerns there is no need for the conferences.

[mae0111]

My kids' school (8th and 5th) does both. The first round of conferences are literally 5 minute zooms with each teacher to talk about any issues. I liked it because I didn't know a lot of the teachers and both kids were new to the school.

Then at the end of Jan we had student-led conferences. They were handled differently for each kid. DD2 is still spending most of her day with her primary teacher - math, social studies, English - and then has separate Latin, Science, and art teachers. DD2 put together a google slide show that talked about things that she really liked about school so far, and things that she's concerned about or has struggled with. Then she talked about her goals. These points kind of opened up a conversation with us and her advisor/primary teacher to figure out how to best support her with her goals, the things she's struggling with, etc.

DD1's was a little different. She was asked to solicit feedback from each subject matter teacher using a form and having a conversation. Then we met with her and her advisor and she presented the feedback, and discussed her goals for the rest of the year. It then opened up a conversation about an academic plan that she was talking about, but logistically and in all other ways would have been a nightmare. DH and I had a lot of concerns about it, so we raised it with her advisor... who also had a lot of concerns about it and informed DD1 that her plan was not possible... but here's how you can approach your goal in a way that is possible.

I don't think the conversations would have happened if we weren't all in a room together, so I was grateful for the opportunity.