Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I am the outlier. I would split it proportionately: each kid gets just over 1/3 of their loans covered. 3K to your son, 7K to your daughter. She still has a larger financial burden going forward. Being able to live with family is a significant gift - both DH and I did that for a portion of law/med school and came out with lower loans than our peers. So I wouldn't discount that.
Post by mrsukyankee on Feb 23, 2024 4:04:46 GMT -5
As someone who had higher loan debt than my brother, I would have been very happy with an equal split. The choices we both made led to our disparity - I could have chosen a 'cheaper' option.
Disclaimer I don’t have kids so that may taint my opinion here but honestly 7k and even 18k doesn’t seem like a lot student loan wise, so it seems like you already contributed a significant sum to their education. That was amazingly generous. If I were you I would take the small tax hit, keep the money for myself and take a nice vacation with my partner (or pay off some of your own debts if you have any).
I’m very curious about your daughter’s ability to repay her loans. Can you hold on to the money for now and make the decision once she has secured a teaching position and knows more about her payments/income?
100% split it equally. Your kids stories are almost identical to mine. Bio-dad's family always gives more to my younger son (for Christmas this year he got $200, older son got $50, and this happens repeatedly) with the answer that "Cole needs it more". DS1 and I were just talking about it the other night and he was honest with me. He doesn't want the money, he's fine and doesn't need it, but it is really hurtful and he said it's like he is being punished because his younger brother made different life choices, probably had more fun in college and yet always gets more from them. He is hurt and is resentful to them because of it. It's not about the money for him its the principle of it. I couldn't argue his point, he's right. When he was in college and his younger brother was still living at home they kept things even, because they knew he was fiscally responsible and didn't need it to live, and he made that point as well. Don't do that to your kids.
I think strategizing and putting too much thought into it has way more of a chance of hurting feelings. Cut and dry, split it in half. It makes sense. Even if the daughter argues she has more debt, that also was her choice to go to a more expensive school etc. My guess is though neither kid is going to argue against it and will just be really grateful.
As the child who was always frugal... I would split evenly.
Agree. My parents weighted financial gifts according to who needed it more. But often the “need” was because they didn’t save or spend wisely. It sucks to be the more financially responsible sibling and get the short end of the stick because you have better financial habits.
I think starting an IRA is a great idea. You’re putting that money toward a future phase in their lives rather than tuition.
I honestly think you keeping it is just as fair! You've given them a huge start to life already!
X2. As someone who's family couldn't/didn't/wouldn't? put money in a college account having anything to give them post-graduation is a gift from above. I hadn't thought about it, but OP if you can put some toward yourself I don't think it's selfish for all you've done for your kids.
Also, will your son need to do professional training or certifications to remain in his field or move up etc? Can the money go toward that?
Post by lolalolalola on Feb 23, 2024 10:29:36 GMT -5
I have 2 kids. One is going to school out of the province. The other is planning to live at home and go to school locally. I have told them that we will use our savings for tuition, school supplies and housing. They are on their own for food and living expenses (not sure how we will deal with the latter at home). I would not think it’s fair that the second child gets the rest of her “half” because she chose to go to university local. I want the kids to move away for their own growth annd development and we are lucky enough to be able to support that. I don’t want to penalize them for that decision.
So, if it were me I’d split it equally and direct it to what would be most meaningful for each of them (investment, student loan, car, housing downpayment, etc)
Eta - we are Canadian so costs are generally lower than the US and very comparable across institutions.
I love the idea of starting an IRA for the son especially if that serves as a way to avoid taxes. I would give the daughter the money though to go on the student loan. She will benefit much more by having 25% of her debt erased especially as a brand new professional.