I wish I could have hugged her and told her everything will get better after high school.
I wish I'd known that myself. That's so hard to see when you're actually IN high school ... you think that that's all that matters in life. And then high school means jack shit nothing once you graduate, and the only people who really dwell on how popular they were in high school once they're adults are the losers whose life peaked at age 17.
I had a rough enough time in high school myself, and that was back when there was no Facebook and only one person had her own cell phone.
I'm not at all saying that this girl - or anyone - deserves to be bulled, but I'm just amazed that she was tormented for years (and it followed her to two other schools) because all she did was flash her breasts on a webcam. Stories like this just make me wonder if there's another side to the story, if the victim kids weren't as innocent as they claim to be.
Again, not saying this girl deserved it by any means, but I can't help but wonder if she ever said/did anything to try and get back at these other kids.
Or are bullies just THAT bad nowadays, that they'll torment kids THIS badly over absolutely nothing? I know that bullies pick on innocent kids all the time, but it amazes me that they'd go to these extremes (following her around to other schools to torment her, for example) over someone who did nothing at all.
It just makes me glad that I didn't go to high school during a time when the internet was as widely accessable and popular as it is today. And it makes me scared for what the next generation will face, because technology is improving every day and soon stuff like Facebook and texting is going to look archaic and slow by comparison.
I wish I could have hugged her and told her everything will get better after high school.
I wish I'd known that myself. That's so hard to see when you're actually IN high school ... you think that that's all that matters in life. And then high school means jack shit nothing once you graduate, and the only people who really dwell on how popular they were in high school once they're adults are the losers whose life peaked at age 17.
I had a rough enough time in high school myself, and that was back when there was no Facebook and only one person had her own cell phone.
Me too. High school was really hard for me - I was one of those girls who ditched her friends for a new boyfriend and when he cheated on me and we broke up, I went through such a hard time because I had no one. I went through some very dark times and tried overdosing on my anti-depressants. Fortunately my body started throwing them up and I lived but I really wish I could somehow use my story to help other teens who might not see all of the beautiful life that lies ahead of them. High school is just a chapter of something so much bigger and generally wonderful. It breaks my heart to read these stories because it could have been me.
I'm not at all saying that this girl - or anyone - deserves to be bulled, but I'm just amazed that she was tormented for years (and it followed her to two other schools) because all she did was flash her breasts on a webcam. Stories like this just make me wonder if there's another side to the story, if the victim kids weren't as innocent as they claim to be. ... Or are bullies just THAT bad nowadays, that they'll torment kids THIS badly over absolutely nothing?
I don't find this surprising, and I don't think that it's much different now than it was in my day. There was a girl in my school who had some story about her. I'm sure it was completely made up, some rumor that was along the lines of the Richard Gere gerbil urban legend, but it stuck with her through middle and high school. Flashing boobs is not a small deal to young kids. Someone wets their pants once in kindergarten and can be called "Pee Pants" through high school. Kids can be jerks.
I wish I'd known that myself. That's so hard to see when you're actually IN high school ... you think that that's all that matters in life. And then high school means jack shit nothing once you graduate, and the only people who really dwell on how popular they were in high school once they're adults are the losers whose life peaked at age 17.
I had a rough enough time in high school myself, and that was back when there was no Facebook and only one person had her own cell phone.
Me too. High school was really hard for me - I was one of those girls who ditched her friends for a new boyfriend and when he cheated on me and we broke up, I went through such a hard time because I had no one. I went through some very dark times and tried overdosing on my anti-depressants. Fortunately my body started throwing them up and I lived but I really wish I could somehow use my story to help other teens who might not see all of the beautiful life that lies ahead of them. High school is just a chapter of something so much bigger and generally wonderful. It breaks my heart to read these stories because it could have been me.
I do think part of the problem is we teach "high school is the best years of your life" and looking back I think - no that's only if you're good looking and popular. For the majority who are not with the 'in crowd' it's actually hellish and the best years will be when you're away from that environment.
Because I hear more people who said they hated high school or had a terrible time then said they loved it and missed it.
And for the person who can't believe one thing years ago is all that happened - you just need one kid to keep brining it up for whatever reason they have. Probably it makes them feel superior to have something over someone else.
I wish she could have found the support coming out for her now before she took her own life. And that all these people getting outraged on her behalf would do something to help all the other kids who are suffering but haven't reached this point yet. Hers isn't the first suicide after bullying story and sadly I doubt it will be the last
I do think part of the problem is we teach "high school is the best years of your life" and looking back I think - no that's only if you're good looking and popular. For the majority who are not with the 'in crowd' it's actually hellish and the best years will be when you're away from that environment.
I remember reading the Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High books and thinking that late middle school/early high school would be awesome - dances, dates, fun activities, big groups of friends, etc. And then you always hear about how the prom is so magical and wonderful and the best night of your life.
And then I went through all those things myself and found myself thinking, "Huh. This is it?"
I'm not at all saying that this girl - or anyone - deserves to be bulled, but I'm just amazed that she was tormented for years (and it followed her to two other schools) because all she did was flash her breasts on a webcam. Stories like this just make me wonder if there's another side to the story, if the victim kids weren't as innocent as they claim to be.
You don't even have to do anything to be teased or bullied. Just existing as yourself can lead you to be bullied for months and years.
This comes more from me wondering if all sides of the story are truly being represented here, not a disbelief that kids could be picked on for nothing at all. That's the newspaper reporter in me.
One of my h.s. classmates used to torment me over my socks. SOCKS, for fuck's sake.
Post by SuziSaysDa on Oct 12, 2012 11:29:49 GMT -5
This is so sad, I cannot imagine what she went through to write out her whole story on little note cards and to think she had not other options.
I cannot believe something was not done about the photos being distributed - those were photos of a 12 year old girl, is that not illegal? Then for them to resurface again and then a facebook page with them on it. That is disgusting.
A boy I attended school with committed suicide when I was in 8th grade because he was bullied. He shot himself and it took him 15 minutes to die. :-(
I was bullied badly from 6th-11th grade. It sucks to have a disability. Kids can be mean fuckers. I finally grew a spine in 11th grade and stood up to my last tormentor. He didn't speak to me again until the end of 12th grade and was very respectful. One tormentor (from 6th grade) apologized in 10th grade. I swear my jaw hit the floor I was so stunned.
As an adult I deal with discrimination in the work place. It must be the adult version of bullying. 8-D ^o) :-| I stand up for myself now and you better believe HR heard from me... and that they made sure I was happy again.
When we were all kids if you had a bully at school, for the most part, home was your safe haven. Summer break was a relief. What is the worst they would do to you? Prank call your house? TP it? Now with Facebook, and Twitter, they can torment you day and night - for EVERYONE to see. It just seems unrelenting. Poor girl
When we were all kids if you had a bully at school, for the most part, home was your safe haven. Summer break was a relief. What is the worst they would do to you? Prank call your house? TP it? Now with Facebook, and Twitter, they can torment you day and night - for EVERYONE to see. It just seems unrelenting. Poor girl
My husband and I were talking about this with some friends. It just never ends now. I have to say, however, this wouldn't be my child, for any number of reasons, not the least of which is that I would have stopped allowing social networking a long time ago. I have friends who have a teenager who has no cell phone and no access to a computer except for homework, at which point she is closely monitored. She is in this position because she has shown that she cannot handle it. Perhaps through no fault of her odd, this girl could not handle it either. Her parents should have taken it away, it only added to her misery.
This is so true and it breaks my heart.
I agree with pp mentioning it doesn't take anything to get bullied. A lot of kids/people are just sickos who delight in the misery of others.
I, fortunately, didn't get bullied much in school but my brother did. Our parents taught us to fight back with words and if that didn't work, physically. I know that's controversial but sometimes the school and parents aren't enough. If it ever got worse, though, my parents would have moved us to a different school but they were lucky to have options. Not everyone does.
My husband and I were talking about this with some friends. It just never ends now. I have to say, however, this wouldn't be my child, for any number of reasons, not the least of which is that I would have stopped allowing social networking a long time ago. I have friends who have a teenager who has no cell phone and no access to a computer except for homework, at which point she is closely monitored. She is in this position because she has shown that she cannot handle it. Perhaps through no fault of her odd, this girl could not handle it either. Her parents should have taken it away, it only added to her misery.
This is so true and it breaks my heart.
I agree with pp mentioning it doesn't take anything to get bullied. A lot of kids/people are just sickos who delight in the misery of others.
I, fortunately, didn't get bullied much in school but my brother did. Our parents taught us to fight back with words and if that didn't work, physically. I know that's controversial but sometimes the school and parents aren't enough. If it ever got worse, though, my parents would have moved us to a different school but they were lucky to have options. Not everyone does.
That's what I was taught also. It was a small town and way before school shootings and violence seemed like a national issue. I had a girl make fun of me on a regular basis once and then one day she slapped me across the face, all it took was me getting a fistful of her hair, throwing her to the ground, and threatening to punch her face- no more bullying.
But, that is obviously not the recommended course of action these days. Like I said, small rural town, ran by a bunch of rednecks, where defending yourself in this manner was acceptable. These days kids seem to resort to killing each other as opposed to an old fashioned ass kicking. Or maybe my mind was just totally warped back then and kids killed each on a regular basis and I was too isolated to know about it.
That is so sad . I wasn't bullied at school but was constantly at home (& even at school/in public) by my 2 older brothers. I remember wanting to kill myself at 8yrs old because of them. I liked school when I was at one without either of my brothers there--I felt free. I moved 1000 miles away at 17 to go to college. I couldn't wait to get the hell away from them.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Oct 12, 2012 13:14:30 GMT -5
Looking back, I still can't figure out why I didn't tell my parents I was being bullied so badly. It just didn't really occur to me. I just prayed every night that my bully would transfer schools. #leasteffectivestrategyever
I didn't click on the links because I'm not sure I want to see. What's been written is heartbreaking enough. I was bullied in elementary school, kids would even prank call my house and threaten to kill me. My parents were really scared but didn't really do anything. Administrators knew but they didn't do anything either. We did move about 40 minutes away after 5th grade but that was more because of the school district for middle school. The bullying stopped at the new school and I was actually pretty popular. That said I have never 100% gotten over it. I cannot imagine how much worse it would have been with the kind of technology we have now.
On the radio this morning a woman called to say her son has a disability and was being bullied on the bus. She didn't know. The driver caught the bullies, turned the bus around and went back to the school and refused to drive everyone else home until the school dealt with the bullies.
They suspended the kids and all had to write letters of apologies. She said the bus driver stepping up seemed to make a big difference (and impact on the other kids) and she was so grateful they did that.
I was bullied multiple times by multiple groups of people from elementary school through HS. Thank God there was no social media back then. As a mother I don't know what would upset me more- if my child was bullied or if my child was a bully.
I think I blocked out most of the bullying, but some of the highlight...
1. Someone threw a textbook at the back of my head in the middle of class (I was in the front of the classroom, they were in the back). My teacher did nothing. 2. Someone hacked into my e-mail and sent embarrassing e-mails from "me" to some of my classmates and my ex-boyfriend. 3. A guy came up to me in the hall and smacked me across the face for no reason. The guy's parents called to apologize. Oh and the guy ended up going to rehab in the midwest and road his bike to a job interview, on the way back he was hit by a truck & killed.
On the radio this morning a woman called to say her son has a disability and was being bullied on the bus. She didn't know. The driver caught the bullies, turned the bus around and went back to the school and refused to drive everyone else home until the school dealt with the bullies.
They suspended the kids and all had to write letters of apologies. She said the bus driver stepping up seemed to make a big difference (and impact on the other kids) and she was so grateful they did that.