MIL - trying to "retie the apron strings"?

[lindyanne]

Something is so weird with MIL lately. She's always been nice and not overbearing at all for the most party. We had a few differences of opinion about the wedding but she was fine once I stood firm. You can clearly see she loves her son - he's her baby (youngest of 4 by 8 years) and he sort of saved her life (she found out she had cancer somehow bc she was pg).

She doesn't get around well so I swear she sits around the house on her computer constantly. She is on FB all the time and no matter what I post, it's something stroking her son. It's getting so old and even DH is to the point he's about to flip. She's been in poor health basically since before we've been married (7.5 years) but it went more downhill about 5 years ago. I don't think things have really gotten worse overall but her last sibling died a few months ago so I don't know if she's having some weird sentimental crisis or what.

DH told me to block her and just text her the pictures but I obviously can't do that bc she'll figure it out somehow.

Examples from just the last week and a half and only from pictures I uploaded:
- On a picture of flowers DH sent me for "Just Because Day": "HE IS A GOOD HUSBAND AND FATHER" (yes in ALL CAPS)
- On a picture of three new pairs of sneakers DH bought for DS (DH has a sneaker fetish): thank you (DH's name) they look nice you always liked nice shoes
- On a picture I took of DS while I was holding a picture of DH when he was 5 or so next to DS' head (so you could see the resemblance): I THINK THAT HE IS AS CUTE AS HIS DAD,BUT THEN I AM HIS MOTHER,BUT THEY ARE BOTH CUTE (yup, all caps again)
- On a picture of DS laying on the floor with his butt up in the air watching tv: that is so funny his dad used to sleep like that

[steph96]

I don't think it is that odd. All of those pictures relate to your DH. It's not like you posted "It's a beautiful day!" and she commented saying something unrelated about your DH.

[Deleted]

eh, she's lonely and probably depressed about her health. The comments aren't something I would get annoyed by.

[juris11]

I guess I'm not sure what the big deal is? Is commenting on pictures on FB the only thing she is doing?

I think it may be a generational thing. My mom got FB and she seems to feel the need to comment on everyone's photos and whatnot. Her friends do it too. I don't think she understands the concept of FB stalking.

[psyck]

That sounds like my MIL's comments on Facebook. If someone compliments the boys or me, she ALWAYS has to add a compliment about DH, or 'her boys.' Every.single.time. Yes, DH is a wonderful husband and father, but it's okay for someone to give me a compliment every now and then!

[lanyac]

I updated my status one day: "Trying to figure out what's in my trail mix, but I figure googling 'big nuts' at work is a bad idea" and she responded with "Brazil nuts" lmao.

[ECB]

May 22, 2012 14:46:59 GMT -5 flygirl said:

eh, she's lonely and probably depressed about her health. The comments aren't something I would get annoyed by.

ALl of this. There is nothing in what you wrote that I see as being overly weird. The pictures were about your DH or "his" child - not totally crazy she'd make a comment about him.

This SO isn't something I'd block her over.

[Deleted]

My mom does this, but it is always about my dad. It is weird and annoying, but pretty harmless.

[Deleted]

I don't really find her responses all that bad. When you post pictures for all of your Facebook "friends" to see you pretty much open yourself up for people to state whatever they want. She's not being nasty or mean spirited, so I don't see much of an issue.

[phunluvin82]

Haha...my Grand-MIL does this on FB, except with her, EVERY SINGLE THING SHE HAS EVER POSTED APPARENTLY HAS TO BE IN ALL CAPS. She is just kind of clueless about social media etiquette.

She also posts like 20 of those 'inspirational quote against a nature pic backdrop' memes a day...so thanks to whatever relative taught her how to do that, lol.

It doesn't bother me though. She's old and probably lonely and would spend every waking second with family if we didn't have lives, jobs, and distance between us...so she spends all her time 'with' family on FB.

[aurora]

I don't see anything strange in those examples.

[slug*bug]

I get your irritation, but I understand where she's coming from, esp. given her back story (isolated, spends a lot of time on the computer.) And really, I think a lot of our moms/MILs aren't exactly FB-savvy, so I'm sure a lot of daughters in law can relate to having extra irritation w/MILs online.

May 22, 2012 14:47:07 GMT -5 juris11 said:

I think it may be a generational thing. My mom got FB and she seems to feel the need to comment on everyone's photos and whatnot.

Lol, my MIL is the exact opposite: she apparently stalks all the TIME w/o commenting...but then inadvertently mentions things in passing that she must've picked up from posts. That's creepier than commenting, IMO: I figured she wasn't ever reading...derr, I know. Oh well... Sigh.

[lindyanne]

I guess it's because I know she's just on FB a lot. Like her computer was broken a few weeks ago and then I got like 20 notifications that she commented on everything. Thanks for putting in perspective. I will try not to be so annoyed and maybe that'll help DH not be annoyed (I kept the whole being annoyed thing to myself until lunch today when she commented on the flowers and he got the notification too bc he was tagged in the pic and was just like OMG).

[MrsManners]

I don't find it that odd. If she was making her status all about him, it would be different. She's just commenting on dh related stuff you put out there.

[dexteroni]

I also don't see what the big deal is. The only really odd thing is that she thanked your DH for buying shoes for your DS.

[ECB]

If the notifications are annoying, then turn them off! I did that a few weeks ago and its actually nice to not get "bings" everytime someone posts on FB or sends me an email (I turned that one off). I only get a buzz if someone texts me.

[satama]

Seems pretty normal to me. My mom and aunts all put a million comments on everyone's photos. They often say cheesy stuff about how much they love us and my kids. They are proud parents /relatives. I think the all caps thing can be common with older generations too. I don 't see anything to be upset about.

[heyrebekah]

May 22, 2012 14:46:47 GMT -5 steph96 said:

I don't think it is that odd. All of those pictures relate to your DH. It's not like you posted "It's a beautiful day!" and she commented saying something unrelated about your DH.

I agree, all of the comments sound like perfectly normal responses to what you post.

It does sound like she is one of those people that comments on every single facebook post or picture they see. Which would drive me nuts, but I doubt you are the only one getting a zillion comments from her. It's more of a FB issue than anything else.

[Deleted]

She sounds lonely. I have an older relative who does this, and it makes me sad because she seems so desperate for attention.
Is it annoying? Yes, but also harmless.

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 14:56:24 GMT -5 lindyanne said:

Like her computer was broken a few weeks ago and then I got like 20 notifications that she commented on everything.

My mom does this. If she's not on Facebook for a while she'll got back and get caught up everything me and my sister post and she will make comments on everything.

I think she's trying to be nice and feels like she has to acknowledge our Facebook posts or something, but I don't think she means any harm.

It can get kind of annoying though.

[whitepicketfence]

I think I'm missing something here. I don't see anything that upsetting in what you've posted here...

[mrssandro]

Sounds completely normal to me. My mom does it all the time. Especially the caps thing. Not a big deal. She is usually awwing me or her grand baby. She is just being a mom.

[UMaineTeach]

not seeing the problem

[jinnifah]

I don't find the comments weird, as pp's mentioned, all your examples are Dh related.

One of my friend's mother is on facebook and she comments on most of my statuses. But she's a fairly lonely lady (introverted, in a failing marriage and is an empty-nester) so she really doesn't have much else to occupy her time except comment on everything.

I also used to teach basic computer skills to 50+ yr olds and soooo many of them don't understand caps lock

[cjeanette]

None if this would bother me.

[RitzyHeifer]

SIL must comment on every.single.thing H or I post on Facebook (usually with poor grammar and/or spelling, and often a semi-inappropriate joke). I find it annoying but not a big deal - a hazard of FB I guess.

MIL is somewhat the same but only checks in 1/week or less often so she'll go through our profiles and I'll get a comment on a photo I posted like a year ago from her.

[protozoa]

This sounds like typical old people behavior.

[Deleted]

You're posting pictures on FB. Clearly you want people to see and possibly comment on them. Seems like your MIL is doing just that.

[badtzmaru22]

May 22, 2012 16:12:36 GMT -5 protozoa said:

This sounds like typical old people behavior.

I was just going to say this. My MIL does the exact same thing, and it's why I refuse to friend her. I'm fine if she wants to comment on every pic I tag of DH, but she comments on EVERY single post he makes, and is usually the first comment. Half the time they don't even relate to the original post at all, and she does not understand DH's humor and makes comments where it's totally obvious she didn't get the joke. She just doesn't have much to do I guess.

[jigsy]

I would find posting pictures of shoes much more annoying than any of her comments