It's a religious school with a dress code. A lot of Christian denominations have regulations about hair. If he doesn't like it, he should take his daughter to a different school.
But to be honest, I'm surprised that it was just the hair that got her kicked out of the photo. The entire outfit is not appropriate for her age IMO. I can't stand that style of clothing on little girls.
I totally agree. Personally, the hairdo is cute and I want to know how it's made. But if the school said no, the dad's going to have to obey the rules if she is going to keep attending that school. Her uniform is cute but that other outfit is sick for a child to wear in public, much less at school.
Post by Black Lavender on May 24, 2012 11:49:23 GMT -5
The outfit is nms for what I would dress my girls in, but I don't think it's inappropriate (nor are the earrings). I also dont think the mention of braids alone was targeting black kids I do think that the braids/beads combo completely is. I don't think any of my girls have gone without some type of braid or twist in their hair since they've had enough hair to do anything with. Leaving their hair out is NOT an option!
I totally agree. Personally, the hairdo is cute and I want to know how it's made. But if the school said no, the dad's going to have to obey the rules if she is going to keep attending that school. Her uniform is cute but that other outfit is sick for a child to wear in public, much less at school.
I doubt black people go to that school. If they do, it's not impossible for a black person to fix their hair without going for cornrows.
Post by meshaliuknits on May 24, 2012 11:53:29 GMT -5
I totally agree with Sibil about no one wearing leopard print.
Personally, I think her outfit is fug from top to bottom. I can't tell if that's a dress or leopard print shorts sticking out from under a top. I just don't like it. But I've learned that I don't like most of what I see on the racks for girls. And it's not b/c I think it's inappropriate, I just think it's ugly. Which is why my kid spends 90% of her time in jeans and a tee shirt.
Also, I'm pretty sure it never occured to the school that an attention seeking hairdresser would fashion his kid's hair into a bow on top of her head so I'm not sure why we're all surprised that it's not mentioned in the dresscode.
Oh come on. I'm not surprised that "hair in the shape of a bow" is not called out.
But the dress code as it relates to hair is exactly what I posted earlier. Nothing about "distracting or extreme hair styles" or anything else vague. Just colors for hairbows should match uniforms and no braids/beads. That's it.
So if it's actually a very strict and conservative school (which it doesn't really appear to be on their website) you'd think there'd be a general "nothing distracting, weird, extreme, or that we just don't like."
ETA: None of which excuses the dad from being a media-calling douche who should have just told his daughter that he's sorry he did her hair in a way the school didn't like, but that she needs to stop crying because it's not a big deal.
God forbid we focus on showing them how to sparkle or shine from within instead of through their clothing (which is the intention of the school dress code, I believe).
We all draw the line somewhere between what is and isn't appropriate for our children. Obviously, you are fine with that style. I am not. No biggie.
Honest question - when you look at that outfit (the picture on the top and the animal prints) what is the message that you believe it is sending? What are the words that come to your mind?
Bahaha, this has to be one of the funniest lines. Shine from within my darling.
The girls outfit doesn't scream hooker to me, at all. It's not my style, but I wouldn't think the kid is going to grow up to be a whorey whore face because she has a frou frou leopard bow and sparkle mary janes.
Also the Timothy reference is laughable. Esther spent a year getting gussied up, and we're supposed to not draw attention to ourselves with braids... braids of all things.
Esther spent a year getting gussied up FOR GOD. She had to do it in order to do God's work for the nation of Israel. It's not like Esther's time spent primping was self-serving. There's the difference. In facgt, I think she was pretty reluctant to participate until she realized the impact she could have on her people.
Post by basilosaurus on May 24, 2012 11:58:11 GMT -5
Of course there's a black kid in the banner. Tokens FTW!
Oh, and an answer to a question upthread.... my dad was a single dad who thought about hair to the degree that my sister and I had boy cuts so he wouldn't have to deal with it. He couldn't even give us ponytails.
And you know, little black girls don't have to wear cornrows so I don't take it as a personal affront if I came across a school that axed them.
If you have a head full of hair like T does or her friend does, dayum right you pretty much need to wear cornrows. I twist T's hair up because it is a monster to comb when left as a free flowing afro. Her friend has hair like this ...
Her mother keeps her hair in cornrows all the time.
Post by Melissa W. on May 24, 2012 12:03:18 GMT -5
lol. Smo.
There a thread about a teacher who told a 7 or 8 year old kid what she wore was too sexy on the "other board" for gym class. I was told in that post that a picture was not required to determine sexiness b/c no man should say that to a child period.
Like I said, we all send a message with what we wear, whether we want to or not. I think if we learned anything from the Trayvon Martin case it's that even children in a hoodie can send a message. I don't want people looking at my daughter and thinking "Bratz doll" and that she has the values associated with that doll. I want her to aspire for more and teaching her about that starts now, IMO.
Maybe I'm just a judgmental prude.
What message did the dead child send???
I thought I made it clear earlier up that the person wearing the clothes isn't always intentionally trying to send a message. Like I said, the little girl is intentionally trying to be sexy just like Trayvon intentionally wasn't trying to provoke anything with the hoodie.
We live in a culture with stereotypes. They are wrong, many times, but they exist. We have to be aware of them when teaching our children about appropriate dress. That was my point. I'm not saying Trayvon did anything wrong, just that he is an example of how an innocent child's CLOTHING (not them personally) can send subconscious messages to people.
As much as we don't want to admit it, we do judge books by their covers. We all do it in our own ways. If you say you don't, you're a liar. Clothing sends a message, whether it's intentional or not.
Post by heightsyankee on May 24, 2012 12:08:16 GMT -5
Random side not (and possible confession): I was just watching America's Next Top Model on the DVR and the girls in the Forever XXI fashion show are wearing their hair like that- with bows made of hair.
Why would it be okay by GOD to have Esther do it, though she might have been reluctant, though conservative old Timmy's word is bond?
God hasn't different rules for himself and his people.
Why was it OK for God to have certain people throughout the Bible murder others, but then tells us not to do it? Why was it OK for God to destroy the earth during the flood, but we are told it is wrong for us to be destructive?
Throughout history God used His people, and even their sin, for His own good. He is allowed to because He's God, that's why.
And it's not just "timmy's" word that is bond. There are references to women remaining modest and not focusing on outward beauty (to the point that it is self-serving) throughout both the NT and OT, as well as the many oral traditions passed down through Judaism and Christianity.
I'm not even engaging AW on this one. Not.trying. Although, I have to say I wouldn't let my little girl wear that outfit either. The shoes pinky would browbeat me into buying for her but the rest of it is tacky tacky tacky and looks like shit Theresa from RHONJ would stick on her kid.
And you know, little black girls don't have to wear cornrows so I don't take it as a personal affront if I came across a school that axed them.
They might not "have" to wear them but if I want her hair done for more than a millisecond she has to wear braids. Come on now, no braids/no beads screams an attempt to speak to black kids.
Dude, I was always taught that Paul wrote to the different churches what those churches needed to hear based on the culture they were living in.
In Timothy in particular, weren't they living in a gaudy society that was quite looks driven and Paul was trying to get them to distinguish themselves from the world around them?
That's the reason why Esther is allowed one thing while Timothy and crew are admonished against it.
Yeah, cause the best way to combat stereotypes is to avoid them, amiright?
AW, you really need to back off of that train. No good will come of it. For real. Also, be grateful you're white. That's all I'm saying.
That's ridiculous. I'm sort of getting sick of you throwing around the "you're white so you have no idea what it's like" card all the time. Yes, I may be white, but I am judged quite often for the way I dress. My experience with intolerance isn't the same as yours, or any other AA, obviously, but that doesn't mean that I can't understand or empathize with what you're dealing with.
I have experienced stereotypes at play while wearing a headscarf before. It's never fun to be the victim of intolerance. Be grateful you're not a headcovering woman in a Muslim-fearing part of the country (see how that works).
Avoiding stereotypes may not be the BEST way to combat stereotypes, but it is the smartest way to deal with them until those stereotypes dissapear through knowledge. This is why I no longer wear headscarves in a way that would make me appear Muslim. I'm avoiding the stereotype for my safety and the safety of my children when they are with me.
Post by iammalcolmx on May 24, 2012 12:23:22 GMT -5
HAB- If I mention that your daughter wouldn't really have a TWA in the traditional sense( like one which would get her teased like someone with 4z hair) can we still hang out tomorrow?
I'm so angry at this bullshit you're slinging right now.
So Trayvon just shouldn't have worn a fucking hoodie, right? You're high on the damned good stuff if you believe that diarrhea flowing from your intolerant little mouth.
I keep mentioning your lily white ass because it's integral to the conversation. You are white and thus you can afford a delusion that believes if black people would just dress properly they wouldn't be targeted.
You're fucking wrong and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you might be a bigot if you believe this to be true.
And this is honestly my tipping point with you. The rest of the trash you sling from your high ass, God loves me more than he loves you/I love God more than you do horse is one thing. But this bullshit absolutely cannot stand.
It makes me sick that someone who is seemingly unwilling or unable to explore these issues more closely is keeping her kids locked up in her house with little to no experience with people and cultures outside of her little world. I hope something in your life changes or your kids will grow up with an equally high handed and borderline bigoted outlook.
Dude, I was always taught that Paul wrote to the different churches what those churches needed to hear based on the culture they were living in.
In Timothy in particular, weren't they living in a gaudy society that was quite looks driven and Paul was trying to get them to distinguish themselves from the world around them?
That's the reason why Esther is allowed one thing while Timothy and crew are admonished against it.
By your reasoning, Paul's Epistles are then only meant for the audience in which they were written and therefore irrelevant today. This is the common argument people give me to say headcovering is no longer necessary (it was written for the prostitutes in the church at Corinth only). So then, do we disregard everything Paul wrote or do we only apply certain things to our culture that are relevant now?
I feel that every society has gaudy and looks-driven aspects. So while that letter may have been written to the church in Ephesus, there are truths that can be applied everywhere. This is the reason the letters were included in the Bible - to show what the early church fathers were preaching and let us apply the lessons to our lives today.
HAB- If I mention that your daughter wouldn't really have a TWA in the traditional sense( like one which would get her teased like someone with 4z hair) can we still hang out tomorrow?
AW- They gon get you!!!
LOLOL I meant if I had a child with more "traditional" black girl hair. Obviously, poor pinky doesn't count. My poor little white black girl lolol
Why would it be okay by GOD to have Esther do it, though she might have been reluctant, though conservative old Timmy's word is bond?
God hasn't different rules for himself and his people.
Why was it OK for God to have certain people throughout the Bible murder others, but then tells us not to do it? Why was it OK for God to destroy the earth during the flood, but we are told it is wrong for us to be destructive?
Throughout history God used His people, and even their sin, for His own good. He is allowed to because He's God, that's why.
And it's not just "timmy's" word that is bond. There are references to women remaining modest and not focusing on outward beauty (to the point that it is self-serving) throughout both the NT and OT, as well as the many oral traditions passed down through Judaism and Christianity.
This.....really doesn't put god in a good light. The mental image I get is of god having a temper tantrum screaming "Because I'm god that's why!!". And frankly as an Athiest that seems pretty accurate.
I didn't say the epistles are relevant. I'm saying they aren't commandments and that following them to the letter is legalistic and an unnecessary. And per your own explanations, headcovering is something you felt called to do and not necessary anyway so I'm not sure what argument you are making here.
Some beliefs are core to what it is to be a Christian. Yanno, like the whole Jesus dying on the cross/raising from the dead business. The rest is actually pretty optional. Even Jesus himself said so. Love God, love others. Whammo bammo.
I'm so angry at this bullshit you're slinging right now.
So Trayvon just shouldn't have worn a fucking hoodie, right? You're high on the damned good stuff if you believe that diarrhea flowing from your intolerant little mouth.
I keep mentioning your lily white ass because it's integral to the conversation. You are white and thus you can afford a delusion that believes if black people would just dress properly they wouldn't be targeted.
You're fucking wrong and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you might be a bigot if you believe this to be true.
And this is honestly my tipping point with you. The rest of the trash you sling from your high ass, God loves me more than he loves you/I love God more than you do horse is one thing. But this bullshit absolutely cannot stand.
It makes me sick that someone who is seemingly unwilling or unable to explore these issues more closely is keeping her kids locked up in her house with little to no experience with people and cultures outside of her little world. I hope something in your life changes or your kids will grow up with an equally high handed and borderline bigoted outlook.
This is a record. I got bigoted, self-righteous and "I feel sorry for your kids" all in one post.
Listen. It's not Trayvon's fault. It's our culture's fault for creating this racism and stereotype. Everyone is to blame. But until that stereotype disappears through knowledge, parents are forced to discuss how dress impacts the way the world views you - whether you're black, Muslim, female, Jewish, ANYONE.
The little girl is an entirely different story. No one is going to murder her for dressing like a Bratz doll. But I never think it is too early to start setting standards for a child's dress and to discuss the message they may be UNINTENTIONALLY sending through their clothing (whether the interpreted message is right or wrong).
My poor children locked up in the house. I expect more than that from you as a homeschool graduate, who had to deal with those types of stereotypes about homeschooling children and socialization throughout her life. I guess none of us are immune to believing in stereotypes and judgment.
I don't care, AW. I think you're an awful person and I think you cloak it in religious fervor. And it disgusts me.
I've simply had enough and I can no longer explain away your asshattery.
You're gross and you're offensive and what's worse, not only do you not care, but you think you've been ordered by God to behave accordingly. Oh and you think anyone who disagrees is going against God. Yeah, that's awesome.