Things you dread about christmas?

[peach]

Is there anything you dread about the holiday season?

For me, it's a combo of all the food....I have a food addiction and being surrounded for weeks with tons of treats and sugar is really hard for me. Brings out the binge eater in me and it is really hard.

And just being a bit "familied" out. I love our families but by the end of the season I am feeling like we have spent too much time with them and my patience is worn thin.

[sjh722]

The inevitable squabbling over scheduling every.damn.year.

ILs have 3 extended family parties every year, which MIL wants to schedule all for the week of Christmas when BIL is home (which may or may not be on time - he just shows up and doesn't call. And he's 33.) And most of these people live in the same town and see each other often.

Never mind that I live 2.5 hours from my family, and my brother and sister even further, and I rarely make all of my family's events. (and my family is normal about it, i.e. an invitation isn't a summons).

And H's sister and SIL will get into a passive aggressive fight because neither will move opposing long standing plans on Christmas Eve/Day. It is so tense and uncomfortable to get together by the time the holiday gets here. It doesn't help that his sister's kids are the favorite grandkids.

Then H gets all like, "I don't understand why you hate Christmas parties, you are so cranky." WTF, I am going to cc you on all crazy emails and conference-call you into calls pertaining to your family and Christmas.

[SusanBAnthony]

I am sad in general about Xmas this year bc we moved 12 hours away from my family and won't see them at Xmas this year.

And now we are only 2 hours from the in laws. I get that DH is really happy about is, and I try to be positive for the kids, but honestly spending time with them makes me crabby as hell, and it is the suckiest Xmas ever. Plus even though DH wants to spend time with his family, they actually majorly stress him out, as his divorced parents still fight over stupid crap, 30 years later. So he isn't actually ever all that happy when we visit either, it is more like he is obligated to want to spend time with them.

So I am trying to majorly psych myself up to not be a crabby bitch for the next month. So far it isn't much working.

[lmbml]

Family splitting days... We have to drive to my IL's house where my FIL will smoke in the bathroom or the basement, but not outside, my throat will get swollen, I will start feeling like crap, my mil will turn the heat up so I can't sleep, I will have to sleep in one room with my two kids, my large dog and my h. #2 now sleeps in a big girl bed and won't sleep in a pack n play any longer so she will be sleeping between us. I will die of heat stroke and won't be able to breath because of the heat set at 75 and the smoke that permeates. I will have to pack six bags of clothes, one for their house and one for my parents house. No matter what is worn will have to washed as soon as we leave. I will have to wash all blankets and pillow cases too. Fun times.
We will stay for saturday, Sunday and then go to my family's house, where we will stay at Monday and Tuesday. It's just a lot of packing, driving. I want an RV that I can park out back and not have to to sleep there.

[kaylie]

Holy shit, some of this stuff is pretty bad. I feel more grateful for my in laws already.

I guess the only bad thing I'm not to keen on is pretending to like gifts that really aren't so great.

Our family breakdown is pretty easy even though all parents are divorced. We usually spend Christmas with one of our mothers (I don't like my dad, and H's is Jewish and goes on vacation to a warm climate every Christmas). We live 40 minute's from H's mom and see her pretty regularly, so she's understanding if we go to Florida to see mine for holidays. Likewise, my mom gets that plane tickets are $$ and that we can't spend every Christmas with her so there's really no pressure either way.

Fia, I'm with you. Once we have a kid, everyone is coming to us.

[davescatch]

I have always hated the whole "i-must-get-a-gift-since-they-got-me-a-gift" thing....it defeats the whole purpose of giving a gift!

Also - My husband and I have 11 little ones to buy for (great nieces/nephews) and every year we really try to get something they would like. Inevitably we hear "I hate this present" from one of them when they open it! I want to scream "You ungrateful little ______ (fill it the blank)". I worked hard to pick out your gift and this is what I hear?

Rant over....

[RoxMonster]

Long drives in the car, rushing around from family to family, traffic and long lines everywhere

[thewop]

Trying to see 4 different families (both my and DH's parents are divorced). But, now that we have LO, I'm putting my foot down. Either we won't see some family for the holidays or they can stop by MY house. I'm not driving all over God's green earth to appease 100 family members. I don't care anymore.

[auntie]

The expense and effort that go into a celebration for 3 people on one day.

If I'm lucky my niece and her BFF will cruise by later Christmas night for dinner. Their idea of dinner is a vegetarian/vegam make your own pizza and drink expensive craft beers party. It's fun, but not what I would choose otherwise.

[candreco]

I am so lucky that we're able to split holidays in a way that works for everyone, and we didn't get complaints when we decided how we handle it.

My biggest complaint is just the time. I always feel pulled between getting all the stuff done (shopping for presents, baking, teacher gifts, local events, church activities, etc) and actually enjoying the holidays.

[boiler717]

Ugh, I hate dealing with the ILs being pissed that we don't drive there for Christmas day. They act like we are the most horrible people in the world for not being there on Christmas day. It's 6 hours in the car (3 each way) because there is no where for us to stay -- ILs have a 1 bedroom house now and his mom says that we can't stay in the living room because she has to put away Christmas decorations that night (even though she is off work until after New Year's). I don't want to spend 6 hours in the car on Christmas day to see people for 2 hours who don't even talk to us. So dumb.

[sailorgray]

We solve the scheduling thing but inviting everyone to our place. Yea, that causes other areas of stress (hosting a party!), but oh well.

My thing is Christmas shopping. I love doing it for my kids, but I am tired of buying people something I know they will never use, but I have to get them something. We did decide with a few relatives to just get stuff for and from the kids and that works.

[simpsongal]

Shopping and finding the right thing for people that are very difficult to buy for.

[pumpkin]

In some ways I dread the time with my family. Now that I'm divorced my immediate family is my parents and sister who is single right now. I love my family, but often when it is just the 4 of us I feel like I don't belong but have to be all happy and play along with whatever. While I don't miss my ex-H, I do miss the sort of buffer he created for me.

[Deleted]

It's lonely that its just me, DH & the kids for Xmas. I wish I had a big family to spend time with and complain about!

[jhawks482]

After reading this thread, I admit I don't have it as bad as I thought, lol. My in laws are nice (though older) and my husbands siblings are great.
My family is small and my dad has usually been known to not be friendly at times, but the other day, he insisted that him and the grandkids put up the Christmas tree together, which is SO unlike him. My sister is a brat, and stresses me out. She's always got this "I'm better than you" attitude. I live on the opposite side of town as her family and my parents (who live minutes away from each other) and she NEVER wants to drive to my house for any holiday I'm willing to host. She's always whines "why would 10 people drive to YOUR house when your family of 4 can just come over here?" Well um, it's about an 18 minute drive across town, so... Not that bad, but whatever.
My parents are still married and so are my in-laws, so we usually only have 2 places to go for holidays.

[hausfrau]

I also dread having to split all of our time between families. Now that our son is older, it is at least not quite as terrible, but the travel is still exhausting. My family lives between 15 to 30 minutes from us, so it is easy for us to get together. My husband's family is all at least an hour away.

My husband's parents are divorced, and sometimes his dad will do Christmas early because his birthday is the week before Christmas, which makes everything so much easier. Other years, though, they've just done Christmas on Christmas day. We have to split our time between both houses (usually his dad's first and then over to his mom's family that evening).

We've been doing Christmas with my family on Christmas Eve, which is nice, but I still feel bad because my parents never get to do presents actually on Christmas with my son and niece.

Every year around holiday time I fantasize about moving back out to California and never traveling anywhere.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Honestly, the thing I dread the most about the holidays is the inevitable calls from MIL where she is emotional and whatnot over "not being able to see her son" for the holidays. She's kind of an emotional mess all the time, but holidays make it worse. It annoys me, though, because planes fly IN BOTH DIRECTIONS and we'd have to take just as much time off and spend MORE (due to boarding the dog and hiring a cat-sitter) to come there. And they're welcome here, any time. But she always has to pull the drama-queen card like it's MY fault her precious baby moved 3000 miles away. For HIS job.

Arrgggh.

Also, I have only-child guilt regarding my parents, because not only am I missing TG and Christmas with them, but also this year I missed my mother's 70th birthday and I will miss my father's 73rd. And neither of them is in spectacular health.

[emoflamingo]

The inevitable "What is the plan?" from my H. Like we haven't been married for almost 7 years and done the same thing every year?

[ssmjlm]

I know this will sound bratty, but I always hate the shitty gifts from DH's side of the family. I know Christmas shouldn't be about the gifts, but that's truly the only reason we get together (depending upon the child custody arrangements, but that's more MIL seeing the grandkids).

I have always tried to put together thoughtful gifts, although sometimes I've done a gc/gift basket type deal to places they like to go or would want to go (like a fancy restaurant or the nicer movie theatre that serves dinner). And in return we get crap. Last year it was pajamas from BIL and SIL and MIL gave us 2 of the tervis tumblers, really? The year I did the watercolor pictures I got runny cheap shower gel from SIL, DH got 2 cowboys cups and MIL gave "us" a HD gc.

I'm glad next year we'll have a kid b/c I'm not playing the run around game where no one asks our opinion b/c we don't have kids or custody battles. DH has already agreed we're setting our own rules. It's bad enough BIL wants to finally *gasp* host something this year but wants to do it according to what works best for them, not the whole family.

[jessicah628]

We have a pretty good situation right now. Our parents live about 1.5 hrs away from each other (and neither set is divorced), so we do Christmas Eve and morning with one family, and then leave around lunchtime to go to the others' for the afternoon and evening.

However, I am preemptively stressing out about what we're going to do in a couple of years when DS is old enough that we want him to wake up at home on Christmas morning. I am a brat and DO NOT want to compromise on time with my family. My family is so much more fun and happy that my ILs (even DH would admit that if pressed), but of course we have to be fair to everyone.

The only other thing I'm dreading is that DH stresses himself out majorly over money during the holidays, even though we know that I'm lucky enough to have a nice bonus coming from work that will more than cover all of our gifts. I feel badly that he stresses, but I wish he could just freaking relax.

[emjacobs]

I don't really dread anything related to the holiday. We have our schedule pretty down pat, it hasn't changed for years. It might be a little hectic but we are used to it.

Dread around the holiday: Dec. 27th, anniversary of my grandmothers passing. It is always a very hard day on me. Last year was the first year that I visited her grave site since 1997.

This year, my grandfather isn't doing to hot so that has me a little sad. I know he's getting older (he's in his 80's) and he's got a lot of mileage on him (Army Vet and 4 heart surgeries) but goddamn it he's my only sane grandparent left. My other grandmother is way past BSC and won't talk to anyone. He wasn't doing well last fall either and had a heart surgery to open up a few arteries and was put on meds, once the weather warmed up and he got rid of his cold he was back to normal and doing stuff. Still a little tired but generally back to normal. So I think there is a case of SAD in addition to general getting old health stuff.

[emjacobs]

Nov 27, 2012 16:42:34 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Ssm jlm I feel you on that. The first year I went to H's side, his brother & SIL got him a gift and a programmable thermostat for "us". Meanwhile, when we moved into our apartment a few months earlier they recommended we get one and I said no, it wasn't worth it to install, uninstall in a rental and I didn't expect THAT much in savings etc. oh, and I don't pay that bill, so even if there were any savings, that thing was not of any value to me - it just caused headaches and I was the only one who would deal with programming. H couldn't care less. Mind you, we used it through 3 years in our rental, bought a house and now we have this spare thermostat since the house already had one installed (and we still haven't programmed it, we just leave the temps we like!)

Meanwhile, I was so excited to try to pick out and nicely wrap gifts for his family even though H paid for them, he had always wrapped stuff in newspaper and electrical tape and he usually bought gift cards.

2 years ago I put something on my wish list and removed it within days (it was never marked as purchased). BIL called H and asked why, and I relayed that I decided I wouldn't really need it. He went ahead and made the gift anyway and now it does sit useless. It's really nice and he put a lot of work into it, but it was really frustrating that he chose to do it anyway after I said no. (It is a saddle rack, and I realized I was having a change of heart on whether I wanted to continue or not after something happened at the barn) I gave my saddle to a young girl this year (the stand he made for me was probably worth more than my super old and cheap saddle)

Last year they did good with a giftcard. Lol

And IL's are always beyond generous (and throw in weird shit I never use like a back scratcher and a keychain size digital picture frame).

I have a super awesome handmade saddlerack that has never had a saddle on it! Not that I don't have saddles or the use for it, but my hunter saddle is slightly more narrow than the rack so it stays on a metal rack in its bag, my show saddle (western) some how manages to get oil on everything, and my western work saddle stays out in the barn because I use it more often and I'm not putting a nice rack in the barn. So we have nice blankets on it and slippers on the bottom shelf

[hbomdiggity]

The splitting family time. We live on the opposite coast from both our families so if we do make the trip to see one we just have to see the other. It makes me sad that i can't spend Christmas with my family without major guilt from in laws. It also makes me sad that its just easiest to stay put.

[emjacobs]

Nov 27, 2012 21:56:55 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Em I can't believe you read that all. Lol. It holds my not-quite-dirty-enough clothes that I will wear again before washing (it's in our closet, even though we have an empty basement, shed, living room and 3 empty bedrooms lol) But I love the idea of using it like a quilt rack. I was just wondering earlier today about displaying one of my grandmas old quilts now that we have a big house!

Lol I read almost every single post before I post. What kind of riding did you do?

[aimeedyan]

1. My workload goes up 10000x. My hours increase and I'm rarely home until after Christmas Eve. It's a joyous time, but there is much to be done in my line of work to ensure everyone else's season is joyous LOL

2. Typically, I hate the racing between families but this year we're 18 hours away from our entire families for the first time. We had PB and Jelly sandwiches for Thanksgiving - just the two of us - and I sorta get depressed thinking about it just being us on such a big holiday. Damn, now I'm teary.

[sa]

Driving. This year we are driving 6 hours to see H's extended family after work on the Friday before Christmas. We'll stay there until Sunday and then drive (about 4.5 hours) to see my family. We'll stay until Christmas evening, and then we drive back home (3 hours w/o traffic, and I'm sure there will be traffic) so that we can be back to work for Wed. morning.

It'll be a fun, but exhausting weekend.

[MrsAxilla]

Guilt for not going to my mom's for Xmas. I converted to Judaism, so my mom cannot fathom why we can't make it to Xmas every.single.year! "It's not like you have other plans!" Oy vey!

[sierramist03]

I get frustrated with DHs family because their planning skills are horrible and never consider my work schedule. Plus it's all on sister in laws schedule who has every weekend off!

[emjacobs]

Nov 27, 2012 23:09:11 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Nov 27, 2012 22:11:38 GMT -5 emjacobs said:

Lol I read almost every single post before I post. What kind of riding did you do?

Dressage. After I found my horse a new home, I quit for several years and started up again at a CC barn (I tried to avoid jumping but did it a little)

I gave up on leasing after the last try... The manager/trainer would hook me up with people who needed their horses exercised and it would cost like, half of a half lease... Two of them I gave up on because the owners or other riders undid ALL of the progress I made. I don't have the patience for people when it comes to proper training or care of animals

The last one was offered to me for purchase on the down low (they would only give him up to me or a worthy person! i was honored too because the vet owned him so it was awfully sweet) and I cried over that because I absolutely loved him and wanted that horse really bad, but I couldnt. Probably a moment that I will always remember in my life (along with two other "perfect" horses that "got away" over the years of leasing and riding)

Fun! I did a bit of dressage, but mainly to benefit my other stuff. One of my guys is mainly a pleasure / pattern horse and the other does Arab saddleseat and jumpers (very interesting combination) so we always would toss dressage in to help engage them fully and get supple, etc.

I'm glad you came back to it! I haven't ridden in a while but I couldn't imagine never riding.