And speaking of assholes, she's got the biggest asshole I've ever seen on a cat. Which is especially pleasant when I wake up with it directly in my face every morning. And she farts a LOT, and it smells horrific.
LOL!
Fatty is not good at cleaning his asshole. We sometimes have to do it for him. Giving a 23-pound cat a bath is always a fun time, let me tell you.
Post by justfroggy on May 24, 2012 15:55:24 GMT -5
Oh god too many asshole things to mention... * swats at anyone's feet if they are too close to her personal bubble, which is about a 6 foot radius * attaches herself in some way to the dog at any given moment, her favorite being hanging off his extra skins round his jaw line (he's a lab) * teasing the dog by laying on top of his kennel * playing in her water dish and making a giant mess * if her litter isn't the freshest of fresh, she'll piss or shit on the floor right next to it * allowing herself into the bathroom no matter what's going on in there * letting herself into the bedroom while DH and I are having sex and staring at us until one of us acknowledges her * stealing hair ties or bobby pins * trying to sneak out the door all.the.time * if her food dish is too low, she knocks it over
I honestly think I have the queen of asshole cats....there are so many others.
What in the hell is the attraction for cats of people on the toilet?
I wish I knew. Fatty just LOVES to be petted while I'm on the toilet. He rolls around on his back and just loves it when I rub his belly with my foot. While I'm peeing. SO WEIRD.
I think it's because they know you're not going anywhere for a while; you're sort of captive--at least for as long as it takes you do finish whatever you're doing.
I wish I knew. Fatty just LOVES to be petted while I'm on the toilet. He rolls around on his back and just loves it when I rub his belly with my foot. While I'm peeing. SO WEIRD.
I think it's because they know you're not going anywhere for a while; you're sort of captive--at least for as long as it takes you do finish whatever you're doing.
Interesting theory.
For Fatty, we think it's because he spent his first week in the bathroom. When we adopted him, the only place we could keep him separated from Velociraptor was the bathroom. So we'd go in there an play with him as much as we could.
The bathroom is also one of his favorite hiding places during thunderstorms. When we had a bathroom closet, he'd get in there. Now he hunkers down behind the toilet.
I think it's because they know you're not going anywhere for a while; you're sort of captive--at least for as long as it takes you do finish whatever you're doing.
Interesting theory.
For Fatty, we think it's because he spent his first week in the bathroom. When we adopted him, the only place we could keep him separated from Velociraptor was the bathroom. So we'd go in there an play with him as much as we could.
The bathroom is also one of his favorite hiding places during thunderstorms. When we had a bathroom closet, he'd get in there. Now he hunkers down behind the toilet.
The bathroom is just his safe place.
I'm pretty sure my cat thinks it's his job to protect us from the "Great Toilet Monster" which is a mythical beast known only to cats.
I wish I knew. Fatty just LOVES to be petted while I'm on the toilet. He rolls around on his back and just loves it when I rub his belly with my foot. While I'm peeing. SO WEIRD.
I think it's because they know you're not going anywhere for a while; you're sort of captive--at least for as long as it takes you do finish whatever you're doing.
Interesting theory. I thought my cat did this because she knew I wasn't going to pick her up and it was "safe" for her to demand pets then.
My kitties are sweet angel babies, and not at all assholish :heart:
Even the painful things are done out of love. Like when Alice wakes us up every morning at 6:30am by "making biscuits" with her claws on our most sensitive exposed body parts (inside arms, chest, neck, etc). It's hard to be mad because it's so fucking sweet.
I swear that my cats have me & my H brainwashed. Every single thing they do is insanely adorable and totally makes my heart melt.
I think this is hilarious, but every time H leaves a cup of water around the house, the cat has to drink out of it and more often then not, she knocks it down. She knocked half a cup of water onto H's spot in bed a couple days ago. The only thing she does that really bothers me is crying like it's the end of the world when her food dish is empty. Oh, she's also really standoffish and refuses to cuddle. I want a lap cat!
Post by sockerheel on May 24, 2012 17:33:52 GMT -5
My older cat Sheldon is awesome. He's such a love bug and loves to snuggle and nuzzle my face.
My kitten Theo is an asshole. He runs away if you get close to him and only lets you pet him on his terms, which isn't very often. He also has this way of looking up at you that seems condescending (hard to describe, but it's true! lol). If you pick him up, he immediately acts as if you are abusing him. Good thing he's cute.
My older one has mellowed with age (he's 11), but he was hellish when he was younger. He figured out how to open my fridge and would do so whenever I had lunchmeat. Unfortunately, he always did it while I was at work, so by the time I got home, all my food would be spoiled. I finally had to get a toddler lock for my fridge b/c I couldn't afford to keep throwing out food.
He jumped out of the window when I lived in a second story apartment into a locked courtyard that I didn't have access to. I had to knock on my downstairs neighbor's door and climb out their bathroom window to get him.
He used his claw to slit a hole in the plastic accordion side of my window a/c unit and climbed out to sit on it (in the same apartment).
Now he's just a spiteful barfer and breaks all my glasses by shoving them off the tables and counters. But he is the cuddliest cat I have ever had, and he is very tolerant of the kids, so we tolerate him
Toblerone (Toby) will kill any bug he finds and bring it to you. It doesn't matter what. It can be an ant and he will bring it to you all proud. He found early on that he got praise for killing the monster spiders and palmetto bugs we got when we lived in Florida. Now he will bring anything for praise.
He politely taps your arm for attention. No pawing or crying. Just a very polite tap. However, he'll do it over and over.
Lady Marmalade is fascinated with makeup. She always watches me do my makeup in the morning. She loved this one particular sponge I used so I let her have it.
both cats are very snuggly and would pretty much sit for attention all day. No hiding when people come over. They love company. We lock them up for company unless I know the person loves cats.
Seriously dying at all of these. My cats do so many of the same things!
Cody: - sticks his paw in our mouths while we're sleeping (DH thinks I somehow taught him this!) - burns rubber across our path, totally cutting us off - intentionally knocks things off the counter (papers, keys, etc) and watches us until we pick it up - brushes my hair with his claws, again, only while I'm sleeping
Karin: - thinks that 4:15am is late enough and will start to meow/scream until someone gets up. Doesn't matter if the food bowl is full, water is fresh, litter is just changed... She just wants company. I've tried turning on the light in the living room, or the TV, but those only helped for a day or two. And she figured out that if she does this IN the bathroom, it echoes and is louder. What an asshole.
Post by niemand88f on May 25, 2012 10:06:30 GMT -5
Wow, my cats aren't very big assholes comparatively.
-Gizmo will refuse to eat her food at meal times sometimes, and then her sister eats it. Then Gizmo complains loudly the rest of the evening. -Donna sinks her claws into us when we try to brush her teeth, so sadly sometimes we just don't.... which will end up in a nice big vet bill before too long to get them cleaned.... -Gizmo rolls on her back on the ground and loves to have her chest scratched. Donna gets in the same position and loves to have her chin scratched- except she goes from apparent total bliss to bear trap mode with no warning (grabs your hand with claws and teeth). -Donna will randomly jump from the floor onto my back in the middle of the night, totally scary and wakes me up. -Gizmo sneaks up behind the couch and then jumps up behind you, and meows loudly in your ear right as she does it, which has caused me to drop food and drinks a few times.
Post by Rachael070707 on May 25, 2012 10:18:56 GMT -5
Shelby: -another that loves water and has to be in the shower with me. -gets pissed and scratches the bathroom door to do my business -steals rolled up socks. It's not my dryer that makes socks disappear, it's Shelby -steals skeins of yarn to unwind and unroll throughout the house.
Remy: every.single.night he begs at the table for meat. He is constantly doing this:
and hitting your elbow or arm. He's worse than the dog.
Both refuse to drink water out of anything other than a faucet OR their green cup on the bathroom counter. They will dehydrate themselves if we try to force them to drink out of their dish. We've tried the fountain drinking things for them but they won't use it. The kicker? When we take trips home, they drink perfectly fine out of their water dishes at my ILs. Assholes.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 25, 2012 10:34:42 GMT -5
All of my cats are fixed, but one male, who was a stray so we're not sure how old he actually was when we got him neutered, humps all the other cats all the time. (Yes, even the other male.)
He has also been known to (ahem) romance my hair while I slept. I know this because he is quite ... vocal ... and I am a very light sleeper. I slept in hoodie sweatshirt for about 6 months after the first time it happened.
Other than knowing no boundaries, he is an extremely sweet cat. My favorite, in fact.
I had a stray spray my car tire today for about the 5th time. previously this cat has sprayed in my garage and torn open my cats food and climb all over my newly washed car.
My cat steals my hair ties and chews them until they break. Also if I leave the office/craftroom open and there is thread on my sewing machine it will be wound around the entire room when I get home. (around the chairs, topple the trashcan, around the furniture)
Mine has taken to spite shitting when I upset her. Not sure what I do to upset her, sometimes it seems cleaning her litter causes a spite shit. Not cleaning the litter causes it. Feeding her, not feeding her, petting her, not petting her - spite shit!
Do we have the same cat? At least mine always spite-shits in the same spot on the tile floor which is easy to clean up, but still, I can't figure out what I'm doing to piss her off! LOL
Post by catsarecute on May 25, 2012 11:36:34 GMT -5
I love reading this thread because it makes me feel better about my cat. I love her with all of heart but damn, if she doesn't test my patience.
-Climbs onto my nightstand (and only my nightstand) three times a night and swats, chews and bats at my alarm clock. I throw her off and she jumps right back on. Lather, rinse, repeat.
-Acts as if she is always hungry. Just ate a full meal? Still hungry.
-If I walk out to get the mail, she CRIES. My husband is fascinated by this. I say it is because she loves me the most and wants me back in the house ASAP.
-When she is hungry, she will stop at nothing to annoy the shit out of us until she gets food. Bites our feet, calves, etc. Scratches everything in site.
-Plops herself down in between my legs to go to sleep at night so I can't move.
-We can't leave food on our counters because she will jump up and destroy them. She once knocked down a bag of hamburger buns and carried them upstairs in her mouth. It was amazing.
I love my cats, but my oldest is turning into an asshole. If I don't immediately hang up the boys school bags when we get home from daycare, he takes it upon himself to spray on them I think he hates the smells from all the other kids/their animals that the bags pick up hanging in the daycare cubbies.
Post by indianchica on May 25, 2012 12:32:07 GMT -5
Gumbo molests us. He will repeatedly wipe his mouth (which is somehow always wet) on us. He also slightly opens his mouth when he does it so his canines drag on our skin. He will do this randomly throughout the day but when he wants it, he will literally chase you around the house to molest you.
Murky will jump on your shoulders at random times and try to grab on with her nails. She also will climb on your back while you are leaning over at the sink and purr and start to bite your ears. While you are brushing your teeth.
That's all really - they're pretty cute. The dog is much more annoying, as is the rabbit. ETA: Gumbo slurps on my fingers while I am sleeping. I have to cover my hands at all times or I will wake up with wrinkled fingers.
My cat is mostly just an asshole to my H. When he gets up from the couch she'll immediately hermit crab into his spot, and then she'll meow/whine/hiss at him when he moves her.
His cat is just a terror in general, and she will deliberately pull down towels as an act of "you can't tell me what to do!" I yelled at her once for clawing at a closet door and she immediately ran into the bathroom, yanked down MY towel, and gave me this defiant look before she ran off.
I just remembered this one today as I was outside gardening.
Adam likes to hide in the shade in bushes. We have some huge hostas in one garden, and part of our property is lined with blackberries. When I'm weeding around the hostas he usually comes over to investigate the rustling. Then he starts attacking the leaves, and my hands. I usually have to throw ever other weed onto the lawn as a distraction to make him leave me alone.
On one occasion I was happily picking blackberries, blissfully unaware that Adam was in the vicinity. All of a sudden as I reached for a branch, he jumped out of the bushes, straight at my face, teeth bared and claws out. This is how my brain saw it (he's even an orange tabby):
Anyway, I definitely got a few scratches since I basically caught him in mid-air attack mode. And then he immediately nuzzled me and went back into the bushes.
All of my cats are fixed, but one male, who was a stray so we're not sure how old he actually was when we got him neutered, humps all the other cats all the time. (Yes, even the other male.)
He has also been known to (ahem) romance my hair while I slept. I know this because he is quite ... vocal ... and I am a very light sleeper. I slept in hoodie sweatshirt for about 6 months after the first time it happened.
snatching dirty underwear and running through the house with them
Two things: first, ;D at 6 cats. We got as high as that once, but now we're down to three cats and a dog.
Our dog is the underwear fetishist my house, and only my underwear, at that. Yesterday was a "please, no emergency room visits" prayer day, because my underwear had an actual bite hole in it. It was the best I could muster.
Post by everafter07 on May 25, 2012 15:20:11 GMT -5
The one will jump DIRECTLY on my nipple, all 15 lbs of him, sending a lightening bolt of pain through my boob, to wake me up.
Two of them are water snobs and only like to drink from the bathroom faucet. The one will even herd you all the way upstairs and into the bathroom. He is also the one that likes to swim in his water dish. He actually does a full arm rotation to get maximum slosh out of the bowl and onto the floor.
And the fourth is a back-talker. If he wants a treat and you tell him "No," he will make that noise they make when they're watching a bird, but louder, with his ears all back.