If you travel for one kid (and it sounds like you do so pretty regularly) then travel for this one thing for your other kid.
I grew up on a dynamic where I was the older sibling whose activities weren’t interesting enough to show up for. And you feel it. I didn’t have as many events, but my mom regularly missed them for my brother’s events or for other things. I can remember accepting awards alone and standing there awkwardly at events while they thanked the parents for their ‘support.’
One thing I don’t see in here: get your own kid help as well.
(1) these are traumatic incidents for him
(2) he has been living with this reality for a while and kids get socialized by their peers at least as much as the adults in their life. This boy has been part of that dynamic for these boys. They need a chance to recalibrate their expectations of normal kid behavior and catch any unhealthy behaviors that they may have built to cope and adapt.
Contacting your kid directly is completely out of line. Suggesting getting the kids together wasn’t out of line. (Not as in ‘we need to make them hash it out and fix this’ but merely offering to host the kids for something fun and leaving it in your/your daughter’s court to accept or not. Sometimes time away from school can reset a kid friendship so if my kid wanted to invite their friend to a movie of something, I’d do it. But the only direct contact my kid has with her friends moms is to coordinate birthday presents - ask if the one she wants to give is okay, ask a shoe size, whatever). What she did is so out of line.
I recently had a mother insert herself in my kid’s social life, but very differently. My kid was starting to develop a new bestie. The mom found out my kid was gender non-conforming rather than born a boy (they present masc and so is their chosen name) and told her kid he was forbidden from associating with my kid. I did send a simple text in case either kid had misunderstood since English is a second language for that family (we’d previously talked about me taking the kids to the science museum. So I threw out a specific invite date. If she said yes, I’d know something had gotten confused. When she responded with ‘he’s busy all afternoons and weekends’ I stopped communication. I certainly didn’t contact the kid. I comforted my kid while they cried and I talked to my kid about who else they could spend time with or alternate recess activities.
let’s also normalize believing other people know what they want/need more than you do. ‘I’ll just ignore what you say and go ahead anyway because I know better’ is such a running theme among annoy and problematic behavior.
Clearly I’d make a terrible dog mom because my first assumption was that a weekend with someone they know and someone else who loves dogs would be much better for them than being sent to a dog boarding situation. Not knowing better, I was pissed at the original plan (if he had dumped them at a Kennel just to have a sleepover). So I was reading all indignant for the wrong reasons,until I got to the end. 🤣
Executor of O.J. Simpson's estate plans to fight payout to the families of Brown and Goldman
“It’s my hope that the Goldmans get zero, nothing,” he told the Review-Journal. “Them specifically. And I will do everything in my capacity as the executor or personal representative to try and ensure that they get nothing.”
let's all remember Brown's family is probably mostly his own kids at this point, and those legal fees for that executor are coming out of their inheritance from him. So he's a special kind of asshole.
I just put my 4th grader on a bus for a week away. It's days, 4 nights with kids from many other schools whom they've never met before, as the only gender non-conforming kid on the trip and possibly the first trans/gnc person the other kids have ever met. After a weekend with some gender dysphoria incidents, and then layer in their neurodiversity.
It's a school trip and they really wanted to go. So we let them. But I'm silently freaking out over here. Please let this week go well.
ETA: Apparently I jinxed things it sounds like their bus is stuck because protesters have shut down the Golden Gate Bridge.
My Nephew Emmett gutted me. I don't know where it's currently available. (20 minute short film). (I had missed the title which made it all the worse because I was able to feel the early ease and joy without yet dreading where it was going.)
In general, things where the fiction lies within a larger, real narrative. You feel the moment, but also understand the bigger implications. That is what makes the Derry Girls end of season one so hard.
One thing left out of this conversation is the pipeline effect of highly exposed uniforms and expectations.
To become an elite athlete, they’ve already weathered the body shaming and expectations put on girls long before they get here. How many of us know women who as girls either dropped out or developed eating disorders because of the appearance expectations of her coach or others when she was competing? Because of what she was expected to wear and how she was expected to present? If we only talk about the dozen or so who made it through that and still thrived, I don’t know if we are having the right conversation.
I’m particularly mindful this week as a mother whose daughter just dropped out of her sport because of the shit girls get about their bodies and how so many people within these more exposed sports act as if body shaming is okay and relevant to performance.
I know why they did it but I’m not sure it’ll be effective. Those of us who have any empathy at all have already heard the stories and are on their side. The rest don’t give a shit about others and their experiences and it isn’t going to change anyone’s mind.
everyone here knew for years that designating an embryo as life would completely shut down IVF. And yet, a few months ago that became reality and we watched how quickly so many people turned on a dime? I really think the right has its head in the sand and ‘abortion’ is anything a teen mom or BIPOC person needs but anything they need shouldn’t count. In all those stories you read there is always someone in the equation who never thought this could apply to them/their daughter/etc, .
This is going to be controversial. Unless you want a different distribution of your assets than the intestate laws, a will doesn’t matter so much.(absent minor children). What what does matter is leaving specific evidence of your assets, debts, SSN, etc. If you do everything online and have no paper trail you are setting up a mess to sort out. The other biggest factor is the people involved. People get ridiculous around death and money.
I probated my dad’s intestate estate at the same time as we were trying to resolve my grandfather’s previously revocable trust. Probate wasn’t fun, but he kept good paper records and things were smooth. In contrast, that trust was a disaster for over a decade.
*thos does not apply to POA, etc. those are important. I just see so many people get caught up on the idea of the will itself when that is often the least necessary part of a smooth transition. In theory a trust should do what most people want a will to do (ie, transfer assets more smoothly) but only if everything is successfully put into it and there is proper upkeep.
Tomato soup with oven grilled cheese. ‘Antipasto pasta’ (I slice up some Italian sausages, after sautéing them, I take them out, deglaze the pan with white wine or chicken stick and throw in whatever we have on hand - usually marinated artichokes, tomatoes, olives, tapenade, pesto, roasted red peppers, whatever, simmer while the Sara cooks, then toss it all together to coat and serve. It’s a family favoritw). Sheet pan roast broccoli and chicken. Tacos, maybe.
It's his family, even if extended, and after 23 years - they are yours too. Unless financials or other issues are prevelant, I would buy all expected and send it to them. At the very least, a gift or gift card off their registry.
I disagree - a present from someone who doesn’t know them is no where near as meaningful as one from a sibling.
Your husband should be the one to send them something, you can sign onto the card as well but it really should come from him. A shower invite doesn’t control the core relationship here - which is between the men. So that is who should send *and*!br the recipient of the gift. I’d probably check in with DH and offer to get a childhood book that has meaning to him (since I’m the big children’s book buyer in the family - and if he didn’t have an answer, I’d remind him of favorites he read to our kids) but it’s his loved one and any real meaning would come through him.
the washer is set up to drain into the utility sink. 🤷
this is how both the washer and sishwasher (hose goes through a hole in the wall) were set up by the original owners of our home. It will take a full kitchen remodel as well as a lot more to fix. Blarg.
In my town l, this would probably reach town hall and be declared a public nuisance. So a letter to the HOA seems fairly mild in comparison. Lol. I would t have to do *anything * because someone would have been on it. And written up a whole report about how it was interfering with the nesting and migratory patterns of this or that local or endangered bird, some one else would have called the cops every night and the town hall would be up in arms I’d be sitting over here amused at the brouhaha.
Doesn’t the 22nd amendment go against trumpers already? If you truly believe he won the vote and was elected president in 2020, then he isn’t even eligible this year.
I've never attempted a lamb mold, shaped cakes are always 50/50 on if they stick for me.
this is why my big holiday standby is pavlova. Christmas gets a wreath shape (with cherries, mint and raspberries). Easter gets an egg shape with decorated with 4 ish rows of fruit in different colors. (berries/mango/kiwi/whatever). easy but pretty. My favorite combo
Spent half of last night in the ER with DH. His heart was skipping every 4th beat and did that for about 24 hours. Got home by 3 but I'm a little wrecked today and he's insisting it's all normal again. la la la.
Here's my general rule of party planning that has stood me well in my professional and personal party planning. If someone hasn't responded to me within 12ish hours of the invite, they're not coming. Even if they respond later that they are, they won't show up because something else happens blah blah blah.
Interesting.
I have found the opposite for my invitations. The fastest responses are often knee jerk "sounds fun." People haven't really checked their calendars or think of it as a firm commitment. Most my cancellations come from that group ("I hadn't realized that DS has a tournament that weekend" etc.).
It's all about knowing your audience and it sounds like you know yours