I have a close family member who is 15 and seems to have NO ambition in life. Once in a while I will bring up college and life plans and she has none. She says she wants to be famous. That's it. When I ask how she will be famous, she has no realistic idea.
Last time I saw her she talked about loving to do her hair. I mentioned to her she could become a cosmetologist. Her response was they don't make enough. Then I asked what she was going to do that made more money, her response was she is going to be famous. I always tell her she might be famous but she needs a back up plan, just in case.
My husband thinks this is normal for a 15 year old. He says he still wanted to be a pro athlete at 15. I think its not normal and at that age kids should start thinking about their future. I don't expect her to have it all planned out, but at least a goal to works towards. Even if she said she wanted to a be doctor that would be something, even if it didn't seem feasible.
She is not my kid and there isn't much I can do anyway. I'm just curious if you guys think this is normal. Should I stop asking about her future and just go along with her plan to be famous? Maybe I'm a dream crusher....
I'm 33 and have no real ambition in life. I went to college with one vague idea of what I was going to do, and then sort of fell into my profession through a series of fortunate networking contacts.
Probably normal but I was not like that as a 15yr old. I actually decided my profession at that age & havent waivered in the 22 yrs since. If my kids have no ambition or realistic path to goals by that age it'll drive me batty. My 8yr old already talk about art school (as in the city JR high/HS of the Arts) & college. Maybe I'm drilling it into her...lol.
Post by CallingAllAngels on Dec 6, 2012 21:06:57 GMT -5
Our 15-year-old niece is going to be an artist so she has no use for school. She won't listen to anyone who tries to tell her that college is a good idea because she already knows everything.
Post by treedimensional on Dec 6, 2012 21:16:26 GMT -5
I think it's typical, but I'm still on your side. I'd encourage her to PLAN her future as well. Just like you, I'd also ask her pointed questions about her goals and aspirations. Otherwise she will be one of those 40 year olds who still don't know.
My 15 year old is starting college searches. He's a freshmen in high school. He wants to be an engineer. Maybe my kid isn't the norm.
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I have no idea where you are located at, but your son should look at Montana State University for engineering. In many cases it's cheaper out of state than in-state at say, the University of Washington. They have programs like Engineers without Borders, which build safe-water wells in Africa. My husband is a graduate :-)
I think it's pretty normal. I had tons of cousins who had no idea what they wanted to do as teens. Some of them have done ok and others are still floundering. DH had no idea what he wanted to do until sophmore year of college. He only went to college because my FIL forced him. He was perfectly content hanging out playing videogames. He is now a responsible member of society and enjoys his career. This girl will be fine.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Dec 6, 2012 21:56:42 GMT -5
I think a lot of kids don't know what they want to be when they are 15. And a lot of kids that might think they know what they want to be don't end up choosing that career path.
My brother is 16 and is struggling. School has always been hard for him and he's starting to think about trade programs. He has to make a decision soon in order to apply at the trade schools, but he really doesn't know which one he wants to take. There are not even that many options.
DH chose his trade program based on having the coolest uniforms. I don't think he's dumb, but apparently 16 year old DH was.
Or she might be bummed that she's "too young" to do a lot of things (drive, date, drink, live on her own, get a job and buy stuff) and yet she's got people bugging her to plan out her life because she's "almost an adult."
My sister was/is like this. Dropped out of college, worked a bunch of part time jobs, kind of floated through life. She's 25, still lives at home, but just recently got into career mode by going to beauty school and getting a PT job at a salon. But she wasn't harming herself or others so there wasn't anything any of us could say.
If she's not skipping school or acting out, I'd leave her alone. Especially since she's not your kid.
Probably normal but I was not like that as a 15yr old. I actually decided my profession at that age & havent waivered in the 22 yrs since. If my kids have no ambition or realistic path to goals by that age it'll drive me batty. My 8yr old already talk about art school (as in the city JR high/HS of the Arts) & college. Maybe I'm drilling it into her...lol.
This! It's not that normal to me. We kinda had to choose a track by that time. I'm not saying she should know exactly what she wants to do but I personally wouldn't like this.
When I was 15 I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life but if some random tried talking to me about it I would have said I was going to be a punk rocker because damn the man.
Why does she have to decide at 15? Odds are her mind will change anyway. She should be focusing on what she needs to achieve to get into college though.
Post by Balki.Bartokomous on Dec 6, 2012 22:24:18 GMT -5
You're not giving this kid much credit. She already knows that cosmetologists don't make that much, which means she's way ahead of most of the kids her age.
I think it's totally normal. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I started college. Heck, I still question what I'm doing all the time. But I have a good job, money in the bank, and turned out ok. I'm sure this girl will do just fine.
Eh, I think it's pretty normal. At her age I knew I was going to college and I was confident that I would eventually find a job and support myself, but I definitely could not have told you what type of job I would pursue to make that happen. I had some sort of vague maybe I'll be a doctor plan, but mostly because my sister was in medical school.
But just because it's normal doesn't mean you should give up on her. The way 15 year olds develop plans is through adults mentoring them.
My 15 year old is starting college searches. He's a freshmen in high school. He wants to be an engineer. Maybe my kid isn't the norm.
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I have no idea where you are located at, but your son should look at Montana State University for engineering. In many cases it's cheaper out of state than in-state at say, the University of Washington. They have programs like Engineers without Borders, which build safe-water wells in Africa. My husband is a graduate :-)
We're in NJ. He said his top choices are Penn State or NJIT. My husband graduated from there. Personally I don't want him to be in Newark. My family lives near Penn State. I think the program you are talking about is so cool! My hubby worked at his college but it was on campus starting a robot driven program that make up companies used to place lip stick lids on lip sticks. I vote water for millions a better program...
When I was 15 I wanted to be a psychologist. I changed my mind to a special Ed teacher at 16. At 34 I wish I could go back and get a law degree. I am doing special Ed advocacy. I have 3 kids on the autism spectrum.
I have no idea where you are located at, but your son should look at Montana State University for engineering. In many cases it's cheaper out of state than in-state at say, the University of Washington. They have programs like Engineers without Borders, which build safe-water wells in Africa. My husband is a graduate :-)
We're in NJ. He said his top choices are Penn State or NJIT. My husband graduated from there. Personally I don't want him to be in Newark. My family lives near Penn State.
I know a lot of people who went to NJIT and enjoyed it.
I'm glad to see so many who say this is normal. To be clear I am not expecting her to be able to choose her future career path in high school. I just thought kids would at least have a goal at 15. It may change ten time before college, but I think it's always good to be thinking ahead.
In high school I never remember people saying their goal was to be famous. Sure, some of the jocks said pro athlete, but never just famous. I wonder if the rise in reality tv has created this.
I appreciate everyone's insight, I'm not around 15 year olds much!!
Or she might be bummed that she's "too young" to do a lot of things (drive, date, drink, live on her own, get a job and buy stuff) and yet she's got people bugging her to plan out her life because she's "almost an adult."
This is something I never thought of, great point!
I teach high schoolers and this is how 80% of them are. Many kids that age have no idea what they want to do in life--a lot of times they're just focused on their current boyfriend, what they're doing that weekend, etc. I think that's totally normal.
Post by phunluvin82 on Dec 7, 2012 12:37:46 GMT -5
I had no clue what I wanted to do at 15 (way past 15 actually) but I did know that I would go to college and figure it out eventually, lol.
I do remember being pretty aggravated at 15-17ish with people constantly asking me what my plan was for my future...so it could be that she has thought about it more seriously than she is indicating, but is just deflecting the question b/c she's sick of being asked about it.
Post by mrssavy42112 on Dec 7, 2012 14:14:57 GMT -5
While I think that is kind of typical, I know that's not how I was, nor how any of my friends were. By that age I was already taking AP courses, practicing the SATs & touring colleges. My school was advanced, so we were all like that. Of course, that makde me think that all teenagers before & after were like that. I now know different.