Non frugal friend envy.

[Deleted]

Are you ever envious of friends who don't care about their finances?

This post brought to you by friends of ours who bought a new vehicle in April, and decided after 10 months it doesn't meet their needs. So they're taking a loss on it and buying something bigger. And much, MUCH more expensive. Like trading in a used, low miles, very MM Honda for a newer Audi. They can't afford it, by MM standards. They put nothing into retirement. They don't set money aside for their kids' college. They borrowed money from his mom to refinance their house and aren't in a hurry to pay his mom back.

I couldn't do it. I want a new car, BAD. But I can't justify putting $4,000 down on $40,000 vehicle when we can save for another 10 months and put $12,000 down on a $20,000 vehicle. And put money into retirement and dd's college fund.

I'm being judgy. And jealous.

[SusanBAnthony]

No one can afford anything by MM standards.

Or else maybe I have been feeling a wee bit bitter lately.

[pitterwoo]

I'd be jealous of people getting to live it up if they can afford it because I'd love to be in that position, but no I wouldn't be sucked into feeling jealous of these people.

Retirement saving wouldn't be that easy for me to forget. I don't want to be poor when I'm old. I have medications that I take regularly now, so I know what it's like to go to the pharmacy and have to pay $165 for a month's supply of 1 med because my coverage sucks and there's no generic. Nope, not jealous of the mess that will be for them when it catches up to them.

[Deleted]

Actually, I have this really faulty thinking that people in general are really good with finances until tell me otherwise. I was in absolute awe of my good friend and her lifestyle until she told me they are still trying to pay off the credit card her husband used to buy her e-ring four years ago, the cc they used for he wedding 3 years ago, the washer and dryer they bought last year, and the "super great deal" she got when she financed her slightly used $30k Tahoe because "everyone around here drives big SUV's."

I've pretty much stopped envying people altogether. lol

[Deleted]

I can't get past not saving for retirement. For this reason alone I would be more concerned than jealous.

[mccallister84]

I used to be. Then I started paying a little bit more attention. The people I know like that aren't able to do the things that G and I really enjoy to do - namely travel a lot. They also panic whenever anything breaks. And I know it will be really sweet for me when I can stop working at age 51.

Honestly, it came down to prioritizing what I want - yea, new cars are nice, but I don't really care that much about cars. But I love taking trips and I would love to retire as early as possible!

[Deleted]

We both bought new cars recently, but they're going to be 15 year-ers, and trust me, they're not fancy. Other than that, we're in serious "Saving for Retirement" mode, and I see people all around me buying fancy bags, clothes, furniture, changing out their flooring, new curtains, etc, and we're not doing a thing to our home (even though I'd love to!).

But then I remind myself that our retirement is going to be well-funded, and we'll be good and set, and they won't be, and ... it helps.

[petitefrite]

Hellll no I wouldn't be jealous of someone with that horrid of a $$$ situation. They probably can't sleep at night (or at least I couldn't if that were me), and come 55 years of age are going to be wishing they could turn back the hands of time and return the Audi for a Honda. Anyone who does that, doesn't save for college for their kids, doesn't save for retirement, and borrows money from their parents to remodel is a jackass. They should be jealous of people with common sense.

[h]

I am not jealous of friends who don't care about their finances and therefore spend money they shouldn't really be spending. I would rather have money in the bank than any consumer goods. I am, however, sometimes jealous of friends who can honestly afford to buy all sorts of fun stuff that I don't have.

One of my best friends has a massive collection of insanely expensive shoes and still saves more money than I ever will. I am jealous of that.

[kadams767]

I don't know if it's really jealousy, exactly, but I do sometimes wish that I was able to be a little more carefree with my money and be able to turn off must-save mode for a month here and there. It stings a little to look at my income and just how little is left for fun extras every month after putting away savings. I feel as though on paper that I should be able to buy nice shoes and fun jewelry, but in reality it takes a lot more planning.

[chessie]

We do, sometimes we get bitter about how much shit they can do and they have no recourse of any of the $ actions they do, since their parents will fix everything...sigh, but it is what it is..they go on whatever vacations, claim bankruptcy on their houses, businesses, overspend on CC's...leave their kids with the grandparents, their parents help buy them houses, pay for expensive cars, etc...Its not anything we have or would have if we have kids. I try to keep $ talk to a min though with them, when we talk about doing a group vacation or any huge outing we pretty much have to say no 9/10 since the budget is just outrageous.

[ECB]

As others said- no, this doesn't make me jealous. They aren't being smart, and I'm not jealous of that. I AM envious of my friends who have $$$$, save, have retirement, etc AND can still afford to buy new cars w/o blinking.

[dochas]

I have moments of being jealous of that. But I know I couldn't sleep at night. I've never seen this lifestyle actually bite anyone in the ass. But it's just not for us.

[Deleted]

Like a PP said, I often feel a bit smug...but my H and I are always asking ourselves, "How can THEY afford THAT?" - for the few couples we know that are big spenders. I wish I could be less frugal, but I have a hard time splurging until I have the money, in cash, to do so.

[Deleted]

Not if you definitely know they can't afford it. But I'm jealous of my friends who seem to have tons of money and can buy whatever they like whenever they like :)

[joenali]

Have they told you these things? Or are you just assuming?

[crashgizmo]

I wouldn't say I was jealous, because logically I know that these people will be in trouble in 15, 20 years when they can't retire or have a health issue or what have you.

Its the non-logical, emotional, princess part of me that is still a bit envious of people who have new cars and huge houses.

[whitepicketfence]

It can be hard sometimes. We have friends that always seem to have two brand nexpensive vehicles, fabulous clothes, take big vacations frequently, have brand new appliances, etc. We don't have (or do) any of those things because we can't afford it. DH and I both struggle to not feel jealous of them. We don't really talk about finances with friends so we're not sure how they can afford all of this either. The wife is a high school math teacher in a low income school district and the husband is a seasonal employee who collects unemployment for at least half of the year. I suspect they either get a lot of help from her family (who is well off) or they are in debt up to their eyeballs.

In the case the OP describes, I wouldn't be jealous. We are saving aggressively for retirement, our kids have 529 plans, and we're working hard to pay off the last of our debt. We have plenty of time to acquire some luxuries in life, when we are financially secure enough to afford them.

[snapplegirl]

Jan 6, 2013 9:41:23 GMT -5 @simpledog said:

Not jealous of people who are spending and not saving.... But I am jealous of my friends who can do both!

This!

[imojoebunny]

No that we are getting older, we see the reprocusions of this. Their parents can no longer help, maybe even need help, their kids have larger needs, they still have 30 years left on their mortgages, and are 20 years from retirement. No thanks. Meanwhile, I see the savers benefiting from their frugality and able to do more for themselves and their families. It kind of sucks because one of my good friends is in a hole that is really hard to dig out of because of their spending in their 20s and 30s. It makes it hard to talk about plans for the future without sounding like an ass.

[Deleted]

It doesn't bother me or make me envious. We are comfortable and confident in our own financial decisions and plans.

[awick14]

Jan 6, 2013 9:41:23 GMT -5 @simpledog said:

Not jealous of people who are spending and not saving.... But I am jealous of my friends who can do both!

This is how I feel.

Retirement is huge for both DH and I. When we retire we want to have money to enjoy ourselves which includes travel and such.

I may get flamed for this but I don't look down in people that don't put money away to pay for there children's education. (Not saying I won't) I just think that people that stress about paying their children's way through school is just dumb.

We will help out our children with school and such but we will not put it above some things that you ladies would consider "extras".

/Signed by someone who worked their ass off to pay for her own schooling and finished with no loans.

[aspentosh]

I wouldn't envy them at all. They seem to forget their NEEDS and give in to their WANTS.

Now, I would be envious of the people that have all their needs taken care of any can still give in to their wants that much.

[smiley]

I do get jealous of what others have when DH and I are working on our debt repayment / building savings / retirement / etc. We are barely spending any "extra" but I am trying to live by the quote “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” I would rather be putting away now than paying off stupid debts for the next 20 years.

[heygrey]

I'm not jealous of them spending their money stupidly, quite the opposite, I'm glad that we can handle an emergency without freaking out. I'm currently really jealous of people who make stupid choices and then have people constantly jumping in to help them out when emergencies come. Shit is raining down on us and we barely get a second glance.

But I'm, admittedly, in a really bad place right now. Any other time in my life and I'd be a lot more ambivalent.

[Deleted]

I'm jealous that they can be so carefree about their spending. It's nice to have shiny new things. I wouldn't trade my financial security for it but I do think there is a bit of the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality.

[raangoli]

Jan 6, 2013 2:10:06 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I am never envious of foolish people who do not take care of their money.

:Y:

[niq]

I don't really envy things. Having a slightly bigger/nicer house would be great but we're pretty happy with what we got. Being able to travel more would be great, but again, pretty happy with what we can do.

It would be nice to not have to watch the bank account at all. That would enhance my calm greatly.

[stingsharkruns]

Jan 6, 2013 11:41:53 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

It doesn't bother me or make me envious. We are comfortable and confident in our own financial decisions and plans.

This exactly.

[kadams767]

Jan 6, 2013 12:17:29 GMT -5 heygrey said:

I'm not jealous of them spending their money stupidly, quite the opposite, I'm glad that we can handle an emergency without freaking out. I'm currently really jealous of people who make stupid choices and then have people constantly jumping in to help them out when emergencies come. Shit is raining down on us and we barely get a second glance.

But I'm, admittedly, in a really bad place right now. Any other time in my life and I'd be a lot more ambivalent.

(})