Interesting responses here as compared to the other forum I asked and my irl friends. Having a house, marriage and children are not something I want in my 20s. Or even 30s. Lol. So I'm happy that I don't have to deal with any of that. I'm exactly where I want to be.
I'm just curious in a more philosophical sense. I've been sitting at a restaurant for the last 5 hours, reading, texting and just thinking about life abstractly. Lol.
I hope to never have kids or a house. I have a husband, but it really isn't all that different from when I had a boyfriend. And for most of my 20s, I didn't have a husband. Regardless, they were generally fantastic and fun and my 30s have generally been fantastic and fun. Hey -- I'll admit that I'd probably be pretty unhappy with the lives of many MMers, but many MMers would probably be unhappy (or at least unfulfilled) with mine. Different people want different things. And that's okay and is what makes people interesting.
What other forum do you frequent? I don't mean to make you name names, but what's the demographic there?
I am 31. I don't feel any different than I did when I was 27. Although by 27, I felt way different than I did at 22. Early 20s kinda suck, now that I think about it. But late 20s are nice, as is early 30s.
Your 20's are amazing. Savor it. I wish I could rewind from my early 30's and do my 20's all over again.
I just feel that the older I get, the more responsibilities I have and the more pressure I have to make a certain amount of money, be saving enough for retirement, etc.
Post by soveryexcited on Jan 16, 2013 20:31:42 GMT -5
I'm on the tail end of my 20's (I'll be 29 in April) and I am super excited for my 30's.
My 20's have been fantastic, but a little frenetic. I got married at 20 and inbetween 20 and 23, I didn't do much. Had a job that I didn't love, sort of blah about life in general. 23 is when I had my daughter and 24 is when I had my son. I had my third baby last year at 27. I feel like I've been up to my eyeballs in kid stuff for the last couple of years (love my kids, but man! Sometimes it would be nice to go back to those three years where I wasted all that time...). Last year I discovered running and wish I had been running through my 20's.
In my happy imagination, when I turn 30 I will be in the best shape I ever have been and at my happy weight. My youngest baby will be almost three and getting ready for preschool. My next kid will be six. My oldest will be seven. I will be able to leave them for the weekend and whisk DH off for a weekend date away from the kids. I will get to start school again. I think my 30's are going to rock. :-) I think I will enjoy life more and time by myself more because it's so rare right now. LOL
I'm 29, married and don't have kids. I don't want to grow up and turn 30 next month. For some reason I feel like when I'm 30 that means I need to be an adult. This thread makes me feel better about not having to grow up!
V - we own currently and we will never own another house after we sell this one.
why is the contrast so interesting? what did your friends say?
I'm wondering too, particularly because most of the answers here have been that the 20s were the best. I can't imagine the boys are saying that the 20s sucked, were terrifying, or made them question everything? Or were heartwarming (whatever that means in relation to a decade of life?)?
why is the contrast so interesting? what did your friends say?
I'm wondering too, particularly because most of the answers here have been that the 20s were the best. I can't imagine the boys are saying that the 20s sucked, were terrifying, or made them question everything? Or were heartwarming (whatever that means in relation to a decade of life?)?
my husband probably would have said they sucked and were terrifying because he was a marine for 5 years (which included the Iraq invasion). And OF COURSE he would say they were heart warming because he met and married me .
Rodneyswife, I also dreaded turning 30 but alas, it was just like 29!
Oh my irl friends have just had different experiences. For several of them their 20s weren't that great, others were similar to mm experiences. The men were a mixed bunch as well. A few are still living the 20s lifestyle in their 30s.
A common theme here is marriage and kids in their 20s. That's not common among the others I asked. See how they contrast? Lol.
Oh my irl friends have just had different experiences. For several of them their 20s weren't that great, others were similar to mm experiences. The men were a mixed bunch as well. A few are still living the 20s lifestyle in their 30s.
A common theme here is marriage and kids in their 20s. That's not common among the others I asked. See how they contrast? Lol.
Haven't you said that like every person you know has gotten married and had kids in their early 20s?
None of my friends had kids in their 20s, and most didn't get married then. I felt like a child bride when I got married at 28. I think the consensus among my friends would nonetheless be that the 20s were awesome for the most part (and a lot of the parts that weren't awesome could have happened in any decade).
LOL at "still living the 20s lifestyle in their 30s." That's a thing?
Well, I feel like I crammed the traditional idea of being in my 20's into a few years. I got married when I was 22, and had Alissa when I was 23. For me, I'd say my "20's" started when I was 18 and I moved out of my parents house. During that time, I drank a lot, dated quite a few guys, and was a hooters girl
I am 32 now, and I wouldn't go back to that time, even though I had far less responsibility. I feel like I was pretending to be an adult, but really wasn't. But, I don't regret that time either.
Post by nickyd2006 on Jan 16, 2013 23:17:37 GMT -5
Early 20's was a dream, I met DH and things just really came together for me. My self esteem improved, my career path was cemented, life was good. The mid twenties came with hard work for grad school but the BEST times out with friends/DH. Late twenties I had a period of disenchantment when I realized my life was not how I imagined it would be. First job was ROUGH, first year of marriage was Rough, then I had a loss and I lost my mind over it... I'm certainly a lot better in my 30s.
Last few years of college: great. First two years out of college: new city, no one I was good friends with, mostly single and grumpy about it. mid-20s: more rewarding job, met people who grew up where I lived, spent some of it single and happy about it, then I met W late-20s: things start getting serious with W, life just feels like it's on cruise control.
Early 30s have been hard, but now that we bought a house, W is pregnant, and I have a job I like again, things are looking up. I may miss some of my "before I turn 35, I will ___" 'goals' that I 'set' in my late 20s, and I'm not in the physical shape I wish I were, but on balance things are good.
I think a lot of happiness is really just about not wishing you could be somewhere/when/age else. Comfortable in your own skin, that sort of thing.
Post by FrozenSunshine on Jan 17, 2013 2:49:57 GMT -5
My early 20's were a roller coaster, but it's made me who I am. Working full time, going to school full time and supporting ex-H while he joined the military. Moved across the country from anything I knew, got divorced, moved back across the country and spent years paying off debt that ex-H took out in my name. Moved in with a friend that is now current H, worked 3 jobs to pay off debt, moved several more times in state. Went to grad school at night while working full time, and left time for us which included several fabulous vacations to Europe, Eastern Europe and Russia. Current H and I also bought our first and second houses, as well as sold our first house together.
I'll be 31 soon, and we just recently bought our third house, and sold our second and are planning a trip to Indonesia for the Fall.
Post by Lucille Bluth on Jan 17, 2013 3:56:31 GMT -5
I think 20's were filled with learning, having fun, and making connections.
30's have so far entailed applying those skills I learned, doing more, being more confident, and generally weeding out the things and people I didn't enjoy in my 20's. Basically it's more confidence in myself and to cut the bullshit out. The extra income is also awesome.
V, if I could get Mr. Kirkette on board, I would never own a home.
The idea of a house still makes me want to breathe into a paper bag. I have irrational fears about having to spend my Saturdays and money at the Home Depot or doing DIY projects that go on forever.
I would maybe like to own a *home* at some point, but not a house. I think apartments are way easier to own anyway. I suppose an older me may change her mind, but as of now I don't think I want to live in the suburbs ever.
I do a lot less philosophical introspection in my 30s than I did in my 20s. I thought everybody else had shit figured out, but really, nobody does. So carpe diem and YOLO and all that jazz. I don't think very deeply about life anymore. I just enjoy it.
My 20's were pretty boring and conventional: 22: got a BS. 25: got a JD, passed the bar, got married, got a dog, started working full time. Not necessarily in that order. 26: bought a house. ... --> 30: built a career, improved the house, improved financial picture, traveled.
I didn't have very many bumps in the road though, in the grand scheme of things. That helped. I've never been one for a lot of dramatic mind changes, decisions, etc. Just kind of following the plan.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Jan 17, 2013 9:33:16 GMT -5
I've got a few years left but so far my 20's have been fun with many life changing events. I graduated from college, got engaged, moved to a new city, got married, bought a house & had a baby
Post by 5kcandlesinthewind on Jan 17, 2013 9:57:07 GMT -5
I'm 37. My 20s were fairly typical. I had friends who got married and had kids young, but marriage wasn't anything I even considered until I met my now-husband at 31. (Like, at all. I was emphatically anti-marriage until I met him.) On some level, it was fascinating to watch them "grow up" in front of me. In the meantime, I got to figure out what I wanted out of life. I dated, I traveled, I moved out on my own and failed, then moved back home for a bit, and then in my late 20s, I moved away and built myself a pretty kick-ass life. I wouldn't have changed anything - you couldn't pay me enough to go back in time and get married young or have kids or stay in my hometown. But I am willing to bet my friends who have now been married for 15 years feel the exact same.