Lies and filthy lying liars

[disastah]

May 31, 2012 0:00:49 GMT -5 L said:

That if you REALLY tried hard enough you can BF...in my case total bullshit & made me feel like a terrible mother & a total failure.

Yup, same here. It just isn't possible for everyone

[crazygame]

I did not know that my pelvis could separate months before birth and that I would feel like I had been in a car accident for from July to November.

[Deleted]

I did not know that if your water breaks, it's NOT a huge gush and then done like it is in the movies. It's a steady leak for hours and hours and HOURS. I had to put two dish towels in my pants just to make it the 5 miles to the hospital. Plus, I had merconium (baby had a bowel movement in utero). So (TMI ALERT) I had green, foul-smelling liquid pouring out of me for about 12 hours. It was terrible.

[oregonpachey]

Some of mine are pregnancy related and some are baby related:

* That you can permanently injure your hips and have sciatic issues forever and ever.

* That morning sickness is over after first tri. HA! I had it the entire time and I was on meds.

* That all babies learn to STTN by around 6 months. Bullshit! DS#1 didn't until he was close to 2. This one isn't following suit either.

* That breastfeeding is so easy, and natural and a great experience for mom. Yeah, no.

[minzy]

I did not realize you could overheal from an episiotomy. If you overheal, you may need to have the overhealed granulosa "lopped off" at your six week post partum appointment.

[keh2oblue]

*That you might not go into labor on your own...ever.
*How fucking tired I'd be for like 6 months straight.
*That babies might not sleep through the night for over a year, and even after that it's not uncommon for toddlers/preschoolers to still get up in the middle of the night.
*That when it comes to potty training, your kid might learn to pee on the toilet, but refuse to poop.

Why don't people tell you these things?!?!

[oregonpachey]

May 31, 2012 11:37:36 GMT -5 minzy said:

I did not realize you could overheal from an episiotomy. If you overheal, you may need to have the overhealed granulosa "lopped off" at your six week post partum appointment.

Holy crap. I did not know this either.

[froggy76]

May 31, 2012 8:08:16 GMT -5 6fsn said:

To take all the help you can in the hospital. I hated every singe minute in that place and couldn't wait to get the heck out. Between the badgering for blood, check ups, "helping" with bfing, paperwork, what's the name, and whatever else, I never once felt like they were helping me. I just wanted to be left alone.

This! I was dying to get out of the hospital. Also, everyone told me to send DD to the hospital's nursery so I could get some sleep. Yeah, right! With them making us change rooms the first night at 3am, bringing DD to me every 2 hours to eat, a screaming baby next door, and the nurses waking me up to take my blood at 6am, I was so totally exhausted when we left the hospital. It was like a cruel joke.

Also, pregnancy IS 9 months, people! Actually, a little less if you count from the day you conceived.

[froggy76]

May 31, 2012 11:37:36 GMT -5 minzy said:

I did not realize you could overheal from an episiotomy. If you overheal, you may need to have the overhealed granulosa "lopped off" at your six week post partum appointment.

I have no idea what this means, but I recently went back to my OB to get excess skin down there removed. Not fun. Nothing like the sound of someone cauterizing your vag.

[tardyfortheparty]

May 31, 2012 7:05:29 GMT -5 ECB said:

The biggest shock to me was how absolutely, utterly, totally exhausted I was the first couple weeks after having DS. I was SOOOO tired I was forgetting to eat. The level of exhaustion was unbelievable. Totally unprepared for that.

Totally...DS was a terrible sleeper & the level of exhaustion was horrible. Thankfully DD slept from the day we got home so it was much better the second time.

[tardyfortheparty]

May 31, 2012 7:35:52 GMT -5 satama said:

People had told me you would have less pp bleeding with a csection. Um, no.

Also that BF babies will sometimes just eat non stop and you will cry every time because in the very beginning that shit hurts! People always say "if the latch is good there wont be any pain", serious BS lie.

Yes! Clusterfeeding was never mentioned to me.....DS was on me Non stop for the first week. My nipples killed & bled w/ both kids & the latch was fine. My OB nursed 4 kids & she told me she bled/had pain every time & thatpeople who said you only bled if there was a problem were lying!

[heythere]

May 30, 2012 21:44:03 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

That my boobs would get bigger. F'ing LIE I tell you.

Oh, and that my milk would actually come in.

and

May 31, 2012 10:50:03 GMT -5 disastah said:

May 31, 2012 0:00:49 GMT -5 L said:

That if you REALLY tried hard enough you can BF...in my case total bullshit & made me feel like a terrible mother & a total failure.

Yup, same here. It just isn't possible for everyone

Both of these for me, too. Turns out I have insufficient glandular tissue, which would explain the lack of boob growth also. I tried everything and felt like an awful mother that I couldn't do what is supposed to be "natural".

[sarahbear]

That babies will start sleeping through the night after a few months. I didn't get a full nights sleep for over a year!

[Mrs.Syntax]

May 31, 2012 7:35:52 GMT -5 satama said:

People always say "if the latch is good there wont be any pain", serious BS lie.

Yes, I wanted to punch the lactation consultants in the face when they told me this.

[caramia17]

How sucky pumping is. I loathe it.

That people have a innate knack for figuring out exactly when you have the horns stuck on your boobs and turn on the machine and knock on your office door...and try to immediately open it.

How squeamish a lot of people are about breastfeeding and pumping and how it changes your perception with others in the workplace and in social settings. There never seems to be a way to do whatever you are doing 100% "approved". Ignore, ignore, ignore.

That you should run your pump for a few minutes after you finish with the tubing on to dry up any condensation. One set of moldy tubes in the trash later and now I know.

[hski2349]

May 31, 2012 8:39:25 GMT -5 Brie said:

I think for me the biggest thing has been that I expected to have this instantaneous crazy overwhelming love as soon as I found out I was pregnant...and that didn't happen. Of course I would do anything to protect this baby, but I don't totally feel that bond everyone seems to go on and on about. I don't feel like a mom yet. It's just so abstract right now I can't really sort out my feelings very well.

I feel the exact same way.

[af1212]

May 31, 2012 11:37:36 GMT -5 minzy said:

I did not realize you could overheal from an episiotomy. If you overheal, you may need to have the overhealed granulosa "lopped off" at your six week post partum appointment.

This happened to me too, following a tear. Mine was called "heaping", and had to be burned off with silver nitrate - several times. OUCH!

[pugz]

omg at burning off your lady bits

::rocks in corner::

[raylongivens]

Late here, but I was not prepared for the healing process after a tear... and how wrong the healing process could possibly go.

It took over a dozen doctor's visits, surgery to repair the mess that had been made and ignored through most of my earlier visits, perineal steroid shots, and a specialist that told me that the surgery did more harm than good to actually fix what was wrong. 6 weeks my ass. Try 20 months.

[Jem]

Mine is the opposite of a PP - but I was told that your water breaking was not like in the movies, but mine was! TMI, but it was gushing and pretty much continued to gush all day. That was why I really wanted to punch the doctor who before checking me in said I likely just peed myself (because it was 3 weeks before my due date). Um, if that was peeing myself, then I really needed to see a doctor. Idiot.

[matildasun]

No one ever talks about the night sweats after birth. Between that and leaking I wake up every night in a puddle.

[anna7602]

This one is more of an omission than a flat-out lie. No one ever mentioned that complicated shit can happening delivering your placenta. I thought the hard part was getting the baby out. Turns out your placenta can break in half and not come out entirely and cause you to bleed heavily for several weeks longer than is normal pp and lead you to have to be induced to deliver the rest of it.

True story. And after I went through this, several friends came out of the woodwork saying, "oh yeah, that happened to me." Well why in the hell didn't you warn me???