There's no way to ensure that a breeder kitten will be friendly, and I don't know why a shelter cat would be any less likely to be friendly.
We have two - one was a stray kitten and was immediately taken in, and one was a year old and had sat in a shelter for a while before we picked her (or, rather, she picked us ... I was leaning against her cage looking at another cat, and she reached out to tap my arm and meow to me). They both have their little personality quirks, and they have their moments when they're cranky and don't want to be pet or picked up, and the male has bitten both of us a few times (the female will run and hide if she's in a bad mood, but there is seriously NOTHING you can do to make her mad), but overall they're great little buddies to have around. They purr and they play and they climb into bed with us at night.
My friends have a cat that had hung around their workplace for years, and then some unknown asshole beat the shit out of the poor thing, so they took him home and now he's living like a king. The poor little guy has facial scars that will never go away, but he's so mild-mannered and friendly and he never makes a peep.
Animals are like people. You can raise them from birth and teach them all the right things and shower them with love, and that's still no guarantee that they're going to be good people. Likewise, people from humble or abusive beginnings are often the nicest people you'll ever meet. Visit a shelter or two and play with them, and ask the shelter people for some guidance ... when we were looking for Cat #1, on the first visit there was a volunteer who could tell us everything about every cat. On the second visit, that volunteer was no help but we wound up finding Cat #2 on our own by sheer luck.
Owning a pet isn't like running through a sunny, flower-covered field every day. They have their bad days just like people do, they get sick/lost/hurt, they mess up your house, they have their individual personalities, they die way too early. Pets aren't for everyone, so if you can't accept that pet ownership is going to come with some frustrations and heartache, then maybe it's not for you.
(And FWIW, I don't like it when people buy dogs from a breeder, either, and I ESPECIALLY don't get why in this day and age people are still buying them from pet stores. Ultimately what matters is that they're in a loving home, but I really don't understand the stigma that so many people seem to have with shelter animals.)
We have two cats...we got both of them as adults. One is a Maine Coon, about 9 years old. He was a stray that adopted us. He had belonged to someone...he had been neutered and front declawed. We were unable to find his family so we kept him. He is EXTREMELY affectionate, very tolerant of kids, just the sweetest cat you can imagine. Our second cat we adopted about two years ago from the shelter, he's a snowshoe mix with long hair. He's about 8 years old. When we first got him he hid in our closet and then slowly but surely worked his way from closet to bathroom to bedroom then to the rest of the house. He didn't like attention at first but now, after almost two years, loves people and will get on any lap he's allowed to get on. But if you had asked me after having him for only 6 months I'd have said that he was aloof and standoffish.
Go to a shelter/rescue group. Foster. Anything but a breeder.
Also, just speaking from experience, male kitties are generally friendlier than females.
Don't always trust what the foster parent says. Our dog was supposedly super sweet, quiet, and got along great with other animals and kids. Yeah......the only truth is that she is sweet. Over analyze every single little thing they do. Try to see them interact with other animals and kids.
Thanks everyone! So much helpful info in this thread (aside from a little mocking/hearing I shouldn't ever have children).
I will table the breeder route indefinitely. I want to feel good about this if we do it and I don't think I could feel good about that after this thread.
@callitimpulsive I think you are definitely on to something. I've never had my own cat. Other people's cats usually don't want much to do with me/hide whenever people come over. I hear these stories and see pictures of cuddly cats though so I have hope haha. My boyfriend also enjoyed having cats so that makes me want to try.
It sounds like fostering would be our best bet. We could provide a nice home and see if we are cut out for this.
rachelgreen I'll see how fostering goes... But I just may take you up on your offer if we don't find a good fit here.
Either way I am too busy now to take on a big responsibility so we wouldn't make a decision til this summer (at the earliest) when my schedule slows down.
Post by curbsideprophet on Jan 21, 2013 15:58:20 GMT -5
I would get either a kitten or an adult cat from a shelter. Our cat was 2 years old when we got him from the shelter. He loves to sit on laps and wants to be where the people are. I think fostering is a good idea so you can get an idea of how you interact with the cat first.
Please, please! visit your local rescues (incl breed rescues) or shelters first before buying. Try petfinder.com. Many kittens/cats are fostered and their temperaments are known to the orgs (good with dogs or kids or not) and they can help you choose the right one for you family. Even so, I adopted my second cat from the animal control shelter, a stray - just one of 30 cats in cages, and she is so much like a dog, who loves attention, waits at the door, and wants to be near everyone. And I had no idea at the time, she was sickly and skinny when I adopted her, but she's incredibly loving and so sweet.
Our shelter has personality profiles for each animal that is in their system. They rate everything you are looking for. It might not be 100% accurate but it's close in my experience. I'm sure other shelters out there do something very similar.
Our shelter does this. They also have a large room with tons of toys, scratch posts, etc that they put the kittens in during the day. You can go in there and play with the kittens and watch them interact with you and each other. I always go in there for some kitten love whenever I drop off donations. It is pure heaven! Good luck with your search!
@callitimpulsive I think you are definitely on to something. I've never had my own cat. Other people's cats usually don't want much to do with me/hide whenever people come over. I hear these stories and see pictures of cuddly cats though so I have hope haha. My boyfriend also enjoyed having cats so that makes me want to try.
It sounds like fostering would be our best bet. We could provide a nice home and see if we are cut out for this.
Re: your friends' cats hiding ... my friendly cats do that all the time, when people come over. It took them a while to warm up to our very closest friends who visit frequently, and even then the cats still skittish around them. The same goes for our friends' cats. I don't think that speaks to their overall personalities - cats don't seem as eager as dogs to greet new people, according to my experience anyway.
All of my cats are from the shelter. I've always been of the theory that shelter cats are more appreciative of a home, because they haven't always had that luxury, while cats from breeders are sort of entitled. I realize I am projecting an awful lot, but it's held true with my cats.
Also, sometimes you luck out and get a mutt w/ the personality of a purebred cat. Ragdolls are known for their cuddly, trusting ways. My cat Rascal, was from a shelter, is a mutt, but acts just like a "real" ragdoll.
One piece of info I can give you is that male cats tend to be more affectionate.
H and I adopted our cat at PetSmart though our local shelter. We got to go in an play with her beforehand. She came right to me, I picked her up and then she crawled up to my shoulder and onto my H's shoulders. We knew right then that she was perfect for our family. She was 2 years old when we adopted her.
Have you been to a shelter and seen kittens there? They let you play with them as well as telling you a bit about their history.
Thanks everyone! So much helpful info in this thread (aside from a little mocking/hearing I shouldn't ever have children).
I wasn't mocking you, just mirroring my comments to your comment (you mentioned people). Honest.
My sweetest cat, who loves me dearly, follows me around like a puppy, starts most days with licking my face/ear and snuggling his head under my chin, and needs (and I mean *needs*) his afternoon nap in my arms--still has times he doesn't want me around or that he's miffed with me and wont let me pet him (usually when I've had the nerve to leave the house). Our closest to pure-breed, a mostly-Ragdoll, is a huge softy, sweetheart, teddybear 90% of the time, the other 10% he is known as Mr. Crankypants and he *will* try to eat your ankles if you bug him.
Oh and it is normal for cats to be shy around strangers. All our cats take awhile to warm up to visitors, each visit, even if they know them well. When my parents visit, no cats to be seen for ~30 mins. Then two will show up and sniff around. Within 2 hours, our lap cat has visited and inspected all laps and has picked one to zonk on. My dad says it takes ~2 days when he house/cat-sits for there to be 3-4 cats around him at all times and two taking turns at sitting on his lap. They still act like they don't know him when he comes in the door.
I will say I have a totally typical cat who is very independent, and who I feel totally could care less about me until about 6:50 every morning when I feed him. When he DOES decide to hop on my lap, and purr in my ear, and nuzzle me, it's worth it and I still love him and forgive that he could care less about me 95% of the time , and I think most cats, even if they are independent will show affection sometimes, even if it's not the same as a dog, so I wouldn't worry too much about not loving it. You will bond through play and cute face cleaning motions as well.
I also totally got my dog because they are known to be super affectionate and loving breed. Good luck Sounds like you have a plan, and I'm glad your'e not going to buy a kitty.
Post by urbancowgirl on Jan 21, 2013 17:35:48 GMT -5
I agree that an older cat might be a good option for you. Another bonus to adopting an older cat is that they're not as much work as a kitten. Kittens get into everything and need a certain level of supervision. We adopted our second cat when she was about 8 weeks old. She was more work that I ever imagined and didn't mellow out until she was about a year old. I might skip the kitten phase the next time and adopt an older kitty.
Our cat was free from H's neighbor....she is a total asshole about 95% of the time. But we love and adore her regardless. You'd be surprised how much you can love a cat who seems not to give a shit about you.
I'd go to a shelter first to see if you fall in love. Picking our kitties was super easy. We knew immediately that they were our kitties. And they're incredibly snuggly and loving.
I don't think there's anything wrong with buying a pet from a breeder. That being said, I would never do it, because there are so many pets that need homes, but if you wanna do it, that's your choice. Breeders are gonna keep breeding, and so you are still doing a good thing by giving that pet a home.
However, my rescue dog is about the most cuddly, loving dog ever. I think it's very possible to get a rescue cat that will love you unconditionally. Just go to your local animal shelter and look around, look on their website and read about all the cats, and get a feel for which ones have personalities that will fit with your family.
I am no kitty expert. I know tempremants vary but in my experience being very hands on, cuddly, and attentive to a young kitten will raise a cat who trusts you. I understand the want for a kitten. My reason is I wanted to raise it and if it was a mean little B I would know it would most likely be on me. I believe spring is kitten season and they will be easier to find. I had my heart set on a Rag Doll but that wasn't gonna happen. I started randomly telling people I wanted a kitten and if anyone knew of anyone who had kittens let me know. Someone always seems to know someone. If you FB I'd post it. I ended up with a cute little grey tabby and she is the sweetest most stalkerish cat I've ever met. She is like a dog and never leaves our side when we are home and is at the door when we come home (hears the garage door). Maybe because we were boderline Elmira from Looney Tunes with her. lol! Good luck and I hope you find a sweet little pet.
As I type this I am pushing my stray cat adoptee off my lap, face, and keyboard. Even my most timid kitty has now turned annoying with her 2am face kisses. I promise you, just like children, your cat will love you in his/her own way. And you will love him/her so much, you will get more. And a crazy cat lady will be born
Re: your friends' cats hiding ... my friendly cats do that all the time, when people come over. It took them a while to warm up to our very closest friends who visit frequently, and even then the cats still skittish around them. The same goes for our friends' cats. I don't think that speaks to their overall personalities - cats don't seem as eager as dogs to greet new people, according to my experience anyway.
Foster-to-adopt sounds like a good idea.
Yeah, Fatty is terrified of other people. Even when it was just my parents over at Christmas, he hid most of the time. But once it was just the two of us, he would come sit next to us and demand pets.
Post by momof2boys on Jan 21, 2013 20:02:34 GMT -5
I work at an animal clinic and can think of three burmese cats that we see...they are all AWFUL! As in owners can barely handle them, we can barely handle them etc. I'm not saying that all burmese are like this, but what I am saying is you can buy a cat all you want...there is no guarantee you will get one that "loves you." Your best bet might be going to a shelter and adopting an older animal whose personality is developed.
I'm sorry to say, but this sounds like (minus the boyfriend) something Bliss would have said. Can you imagine the reaction if she had versus you saying it? I mean, obviously you listened to advice later in the thread so you're not on the crazy train anymore, but the insinuation that you'd have a better chance of being loved by a bred cat was a little nuts.
well, that's not quite what I said.
I was interested in a particular breed of cat that is known to be friendly and form strong attachments with their humans. when I realized I'm probably not going to find that breed of cat in a shelter (they are hard to find anywhere unless you live in the UK it seems), I asked about buying from a breeder. emphasis not on the breeder but the breed. I don't think that's really so nuts considering the multitude of websites out there that profile cat temperaments based on the breed.
We grew up with Burmese and Siamese cats. They tend to be VERY attached to one or two people. Our current Siamese LOVES DH and completely ignores me. She also hates our kids. Her name is PITA and she fits her name. I've had sweet and affectionate Burmese,but they do tend to be standoffish to people they don't know or like. The most affectionate cat I've ever had is a long haired gray tuxedo cat. We got her from a shelter in 2008 and she loves EVERYONE. Including our toddler who loves nothing more than pulling her tail.
Id recommend looking into a rescue center and look for a cat with a personality that fits yours. Our grey love bomb was like that at the shelter - total love sponge.
Check with rescues for sure. My kitty was part of a feral colony and was in the shelter for 11 months before I adopted him. He's so dang affectionate that I can't go anywhere without tripping over him. He'll literally grab my hand with his paws and force me to pet him. It was a shelter volunteer who knew his personality and matched me to him.
The thing is that pretty much every cat I've ever met is really attached to its owner. They are of varying degrees of super duper cuddly and varying degrees of sociable with other people.
Will you have some extra time during the summer? If so, that would be the ideal time to get a kitten. We got our first kitten when I was unemployed, and he followed me around the apartment and sat next to me while I filled out job applications. He loves both of us, but it's been pretty clear from the start that he's a mama's boy.
Will you have some extra time during the summer? If so, that would be the ideal time to get a kitten. We got our first kitten when I was unemployed, and he followed me around the apartment and sat next to me while I filled out job applications. He loves both of us, but it's been pretty clear from the start that he's a mama's boy.
I will!
summers they give us a little bit of a "break" - we go down from 17/18 credit hours to 12. we also take a break on any GA positions, so that'll give me an extra 6 hours a week as well.
I don't think there's anything wrong with buying a pet from a breeder. That being said, I would never do it, because there are so many pets that need homes, but if you wanna do it, that's your choice. Breeders are gonna keep breeding, and so you are still doing a good thing by giving that pet a home.
Except, supply and demand. If people stop buying dogs from backyard breeders, it's no longer a profitable venture and the business will die out.
My cat was two when I adopted her and she is the cuddliest love bug ever. I'd never buy from a breeder or pet store anyway, but knowing how awesome she is and that we gave her a home when no one else wanted her - she'd been in a foster home for six months - just makes me love her more.
I don't think there's anything wrong with buying a pet from a breeder. That being said, I would never do it, because there are so many pets that need homes, but if you wanna do it, that's your choice. Breeders are gonna keep breeding, and so you are still doing a good thing by giving that pet a home.
Except, supply and demand. If people stop buying dogs from backyard breeders, it's no longer a profitable venture and the business will die out.
Good point. I wish that would happen because rescue pets are the best.