What do you think about breastfeeding in public?

[dulcemariamar]

shine.yahoo.com/parenting/military-moms-breastfeeding-uniform-stir-controversey-214500503.html

So this seems to be a popular topic on different boards and I wanted to know what you guys think. Obviously, this is two separate issues, breastfeeding in public and breastfeeding while wearing a military uniform.

I am not going to comment about breastfeeding in uniform because I know the military has strict rules about their uniform. What do you think about it?

What do you think about breastfeeding in public? In one of the pictures from the story, a mother is BF her twins and people are saying that you can see too much boob. Maybe, because I have been living here so long, I don't think there is anything wrong about it and I find it strange how people get all crazy about BF in public.

On my BMB, people want women to cover up while they BF. I don't really get it because I wouldn't want to eat with a blanket over my head.

What do you think?

[Deleted]

Caveat: I am not a parent, but I AM in the military.

I don't think breastfeeding in public is bad, but I don't want to look at someone else's boob hanging out either. If I see it, I don't get upset, I just don't look. Most breastfeeding mothers I know choose to cover up for a little bit of modesty. Again, they shouldn't HAVE to, but most choose to.

As for breastfeeding in uniform -- I think that women should HAVE to cover up so their boobs aren't exposed, but they should be allowed to breastfeed in public. It's worth noting that right now there are NO Air Force regulations that say anything about breastfeeding in uniform, meaning that it IS allowed, but it's up to commander's discretion. But if it were one of my troops, I would tell them to cover up for modesty, but let them breastfeed. I mean, I wouldn't want guys I work with to see MY boobs while breastfeeding (or any other time for that matter). But breastfeeding is a natural process and should be allowed (even encouraged), in a modest way.

[crimsonandclover]

My caveat: I was never able to BF DD (we tried many times), and I pumped and supplemented for 2 months before throwing in the towel.

I will try to BF with future children, however, and feel really uncomfortable about NIP (nursing in public for those not familiar with TB lingo). I don't care when other people do it, but I think I will want a cover. I also know that it would freak my ILs out if I were to nurse openly in front of them, so my plan was and is to just go in another room with LO to do it. I understand people getting upset about things like that and saying, "It's natural! You shouldn't have to go anywhere to do it!" But honestly, I don't want to. Plus I usually appreciate every excuse to have a few minutes to myself when we're visiting them. :-)

[anna7602]

I never covered up. DD would have none of it. If I tried to place anything over her head, she swung at it wildly, even when she was only a few weeks old.

I tried to wear modest nursing tops when possible, but I occasionally had situations where I didn't expect to be nursing at all and had to shove my tank top up/down on a hot summer's day in the middle of a park. You can't always predict when your child is going to get hungry.

I don't think of a child hanging from a boob as particularly sexy. If anything, I felt like a milk cow. I see people in much more provocative outfits all the time than any amount of skin I exposed as a breastfeeding mother back in the day.

Can't really comment on the military uniform thing.

[blushing]

I breastfed in public and I never flashed any boob (as far as I am aware). I also never covered up DS's head, I wore layers and that worked.

I am all for breastfeeding in public. In fact, I have only ever been to 1 protest in my life and it was one that protested the UK law about not being able to breastfeed in public over the age of 6 months old. That said, I have a friend that gets her boob ready and then her baby, in other words she takes her boob out, leaves it there for all to see and then picks up baby. I do not support that, not only does it give breastfeeding a bad name, but it makes the people around you feel uncomfortable. Discreet breastfeeding, I support.

I would feel very strange seeing a woman in military uniform breastfeeding. I am a military daughter and I grew up seeing military men and women my whole life. I have never seen one breastfeeding in uniform though. But, I felt uncomfortable the first time I saw a woman breastfeeding in public too, so I think its just something that you would need to get used to. If that makes sense?

[frlcb]

May 31, 2012 11:14:27 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Caveat: I am not a parent, but I AM in the military.

I don't think breastfeeding in public is bad, but I don't want to look at someone else's boob hanging out either. If I see it, I don't get upset, I just don't look. Most breastfeeding mothers I know choose to cover up for a little bit of modesty. Again, they shouldn't HAVE to, but most choose to.

I feel like only women who have never BF say this (I am not picking on you villainv, I see this often). I have never, ever seen a woman's boob hanging out when they are feeding. I bet 99% of the time you wouldn't even realize someone was nursing unless you were right on top of them and watching.

[dulcemariamar]

Blushing: My SIL is like this. When she BF at family events, she just leaves out her boob when she switches to the other one. She doesnt care that people like her BILs or FIL are sitting right in front of her. I wouldnt do that. Plus, my MIL loves to give advice or make comments about BF, so I agree with Crimsonclover, a separate room is best when dealing with in-laws.

FRCLB: I agree with you. Most women are so modest about it, that I dont see why people get so crazy about it.

[Deleted]

May 31, 2012 11:56:33 GMT -5 frlcb said:

May 31, 2012 11:14:27 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Caveat: I am not a parent, but I AM in the military.

I don't think breastfeeding in public is bad, but I don't want to look at someone else's boob hanging out either. If I see it, I don't get upset, I just don't look. Most breastfeeding mothers I know choose to cover up for a little bit of modesty. Again, they shouldn't HAVE to, but most choose to.

I feel like only women who have never BF say this (I am not picking on you villainv, I see this often). I have never, ever seen a woman's boob hanging out when they are feeding. I bet 99% of the time you wouldn't even realize someone was nursing unless you were right on top of them and watching.

fricb -- the picture in the article, the one with the woman feeding her twins in uniform? I would classify that as "boobs hanging out." I would be uncomfortable seeing that in public (again, I would just elect not to look, because I'm like that). In my opinion, it's inappropriate while in a military uniform in a public setting.

[anna7602]

May 31, 2012 13:06:27 GMT -5 @villainv said:

May 31, 2012 11:56:33 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I feel like only women who have never BF say this (I am not picking on you villainv, I see this often). I have never, ever seen a woman's boob hanging out when they are feeding. I bet 99% of the time you wouldn't even realize someone was nursing unless you were right on top of them and watching.

fricb -- the picture in the article, the one with the woman feeding her twins in uniform? I would classify that as "boobs hanging out." I would be uncomfortable seeing that in public (again, I would just elect not to look, because I'm like that). In my opinion, it's inappropriate while in a military uniform in a public setting.

How on earth is she supposed to cover the non-nipple part of her boob while feeding TWINS? If you note the woman next to her, she is holding the baby across her chest. This hold just isn't going to work with two babies. Is she supposed to let one kid scream his/her head off waiting to nurse while she feeds the first child with more decorum?

Honestly, I would cut a woman nursing twins even more slack than anyone else.

[frlcb]

May 31, 2012 13:06:27 GMT -5 @villainv said:

May 31, 2012 11:56:33 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I feel like only women who have never BF say this (I am not picking on you villainv, I see this often). I have never, ever seen a woman's boob hanging out when they are feeding. I bet 99% of the time you wouldn't even realize someone was nursing unless you were right on top of them and watching.

fricb -- the picture in the article, the one with the woman feeding her twins in uniform? I would classify that as "boobs hanging out." I would be uncomfortable seeing that in public (again, I would just elect not to look, because I'm like that). In my opinion, it's inappropriate while in a military uniform in a public setting.

I hadn't looked at the article and was responding based on a simple comment that you don't like seeing someone's boobs hanging out in public, not specific to that picture.

But now that I have seen it I really have to roll my eyes because the woman is nursing TWO babies at one time. First of all the amount of times you would probably ever see that in public is next to nil, and second the woman next to her, nursing just one, is not hanging out at all.

[Deleted]

That amount of boob simply is not appropriate while wearing a military uniform.

As for the general public, I think people should be able to show that much if they want. If it makes me uncomfortable then it's MY problem, not theirs.

But in uniform, it's a different story.

Edited to add more information: I realize that a lot of people might not understand why it matters in a military uniform vs. while in civilian clothes. The best way I can explain it is that if you were a waitress in a restaurant, you wouldn't have breast hanging out while breastfeeding your kids in front of customers would you? Well ALL OF AMERICA is our customer, as well as our boss. To put it in perspective, we're not even allowed to talk on a cell phone while walking, because that's not professional. We're not allowed to wear hair-bands that are different colors than our hair-color, or wear flashy make-up. Showing bare breast (while feeding a child or not), IN MY OPINION, is not in keeping with the image that we uphold. As long as there's no (or very minimal) bare breast showing, then I don't really care.

[frlcb]

May 31, 2012 13:41:03 GMT -5 @villainv said:

That amount of boob simply is not appropriate while wearing a military uniform.

As for the general public, I think people should be able to show that much if they want. If it makes me uncomfortable then it's MY problem, not theirs.

But in uniform, it's a different story.

But you weren't speaking about it specific to being in a military uniform. You were speaking generally, then followed up with a second paragraph about nursing while in uniform. If you meant them both to be specific to military it didn't come across that way.

I have no issue either way. Babies need to eat, even when their mom is in uniform. Why is that disrespectful?

[Shreddingbetty]

I agree that the twin mom is certainly more exposed but I have seen non BF people expose that much from time to time. I would just look the other way if it bothered me (which it doesn't) as long as she is comfortable. No one is making you stand there and watch someone NIP.

DD just turned 2 and is still BF rather frequently but I have avoided NIP when possible for the past few months. And if I have to now because we are out for the day I either do it in my car or find a place that is sort of away from people. If not possible, I don't care I will do it anywhere. But I am also discreet. I wear nursing tanks so between that and a shirt you can't seen anything (of course there isn't much to begin with but that's a different story). I have NIP many places and never had a problem (except for once at the Y). I have never covered up because DD hated it. Most of the time it just looks like she is sleeping (unless she is doing her acrobatics but that's mostly at home).

I feel that unless women are literally whipping out their boob for everyone to see before latching on baby or really in your face about it who cares. Most women are very discreet. If people don't like it they don't have to look. I have more of a problem with overweight women who try to squeeze themselves in tight clothing that is way to small, but I guess they can do what they want too. It is not illegal, it just looks bad.

[frlcb]

May 31, 2012 13:41:03 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Edited to add more information: I realize that a lot of people might not understand why it matters in a military uniform vs. while in civilian clothes. The best way I can explain it is that if you were a waitress in a restaurant, you wouldn't have breast hanging out while breastfeeding your kids in front of customers would you? Well ALL OF AMERICA is our customer, as well as our boss. To put it in perspective, we're not even allowed to talk on a cell phone while walking, because that's not professional. We're not allowed to wear hair-bands that are different colors than our hair-color, or wear flashy make-up. Showing bare breast (while feeding a child or not), IN MY OPINION, is not in keeping with the image that we uphold. As long as there's no (or very minimal) bare breast showing, then I don't really care.

While I don't agree with this I can see where you are coming from. I do think, however, that breastfeeding twins is not only very unusual in any situation I would think it is even more so in the Military, so she is a unique situation. The one nursing just one baby is showing nothing.

[clickerish]

Military is military. When you sign up, you sign up for the regulations. It's not a surprise. If they can regulate your hair length, they can regulate your breast exposure while in uniform.

If, however, the woman weren't in uniform yet happened to be military or weren't in the military at all, I would be of a different opinion. I think you do what is best for you. If you want to have your privacy, you should be able to. If you want to nurse in public (other than if you're going out completely topless--different story), also okay. I have no kids, but I have plenty of friends who have BF in front of me. I have yet to find it at all noticeable even when they chose not to use a blanket. There are always one or two extreme cases that the media manages to roust up, but these are so rare!

[grosnl19]

I personally will be covering up.

I was surprised when I first came to Spain women just whip out their boob to bf everywhere. There was even a women in the mall bf while carrying her infant and walking the mall. It really doesn't bother me anymore...some people are really up tight about this (maybe this is just in the States). Covered/uncovered if fine with me...whatever floats your boat.

[Deleted]

May 31, 2012 13:53:36 GMT -5 frlcb said:

May 31, 2012 13:41:03 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Edited to add more information: I realize that a lot of people might not understand why it matters in a military uniform vs. while in civilian clothes. The best way I can explain it is that if you were a waitress in a restaurant, you wouldn't have breast hanging out while breastfeeding your kids in front of customers would you? Well ALL OF AMERICA is our customer, as well as our boss. To put it in perspective, we're not even allowed to talk on a cell phone while walking, because that's not professional. We're not allowed to wear hair-bands that are different colors than our hair-color, or wear flashy make-up. Showing bare breast (while feeding a child or not), IN MY OPINION, is not in keeping with the image that we uphold. As long as there's no (or very minimal) bare breast showing, then I don't really care.

While I don't agree with this I can see where you are coming from. I do think, however, that breastfeeding twins is not only very unusual in any situation I would think it is even more so in the Military, so she is a unique situation. The one nursing just one baby is showing nothing.

I guess I don't have much experience with multiples, but I know a few moms of multiples (two with twins, one with triplets) and they BF one at a time. I guess I thought that was normal, not doing two at once like the woman in the picture.

[popcorn]

I am biased because I have been BFing in public sans cover since DD was 5 days old.

Even without a cover you really don't see anything unless the woman is literally pulling her whole boob out. I usually get by just having the nip out fora split second before Kernel latches and I really doubt anyone sees it. Of course there have been some slip ups when Kernel was smaller and not so great at latching (and dealing with nipple shields in public is not fun!) and later when she kept getting distracted and randomly popping off the boob, but as long as you're prepared it's just not a big deal.

Most people don't even realize I'm BFing. I can't tell you how often people have come into a room when I'm BFing and asked if Kernel was sleeping. Seriously, you see nothing!

Anyway, I think it's kind of a dumb thing to oppose and if you're a BFing woman you should feel free to do it. I think it sucks that women feel they have to pump (extra work) and take a bottle every time they leave the house.

As for the in-uniform BFing I don't think it's a problem, but I can understand the frustration because things like appearing in media and stuff like that is supposed to be cleared (from what I understand). For day-to-day not a big deal. They're still mothers and their babies have to eat, but I do see why it is a bit of a controversy that they are in the media with it. Apparently there are plenty of things you aren't supposed to do in uniform though this is not technically one of them.

[popcorn]

May 31, 2012 14:17:19 GMT -5 grosnl19 said:

I personally will be covering up.

I was surprised when I first came to Spain women just whip out their boob to bf everywhere. There was even a women in the mall bf while carrying her infant and walking the mall. It really doesn't bother me anymore...some people are really up tight about this (maybe this is just in the States). Covered/uncovered if fine with me...whatever floats your boat.

I have BFed walking around parks, shopping with DH in Carrefour, and many other places walking. What's so weird about it?

Also, I know you say you will be covering up, but trying to wrangle a blanket or cover is really much more trying than learning to layer and discreetly get the boob out. Not to say you won't cover up, but I find it's one of those things where you never know just how it will be until you are doing it. I certainly didn't.

[expatjen]

I breastfed in public with a cover and I always tried to find a place that wasnt in the immediate flow of other people. On those occasions when DS didn't want to nurse while under the cover, I was just a bit more conscious to not flash anyone. I had a habit of wearing a tank top under my shirt to begin with, so I felt I wasn't over exposing myself. I have no problem with other mothers nursing in public, I just don't stare at them and therefore dont usually see boobs.

[clogged]

I BF'ed in public. At first I was mortified, but then I got cheesed off. There are just no places for a nursing mom to go, and sure as hell I am not paying 50 cents to sit in a stinky bathroom stall or hiking out to my car carrying my screaming baby to do it. So I just did it as and when necessary. No cover.

But then, the culture here is peeing in public is fine. Full penis exposure is way more inappropriate than side boob and occasional flash of nipple.

[frlcb]

May 31, 2012 14:38:27 GMT -5 @villainv said:

May 31, 2012 13:53:36 GMT -5 frlcb said:

While I don't agree with this I can see where you are coming from. I do think, however, that breastfeeding twins is not only very unusual in any situation I would think it is even more so in the Military, so she is a unique situation. The one nursing just one baby is showing nothing.

I guess I don't have much experience with multiples, but I know a few moms of multiples (two with twins, one with triplets) and they BF one at a time. I guess I thought that was normal, not doing two at once like the woman in the picture.

They are both normal, although at the same time is probably less common. Some women tandem nurse, some don't. You would be feeding ALL day if you always fed them separately.

[Deleted]

I don't see a problem with a mother BF her own child, so much so that it's hard to believe that some people would find something to say about it.
I think it's so poetic. Obviously I've never stared at a BF woman but the times that I've seen one I could hardly see anything; not that it should matter to anyone if a piece of flesh or skin was showing during a baby's meal.
Personally, I don't think I would ever cover the baby. If anything I would try to make it the quietest for he/she, if at all possible; after all he/she would be the only thought on my mind.

[americaninoz]

I bf in public all the time, as we walked everywhere and I couldn't exactly just go home to feed her all the time. I was very discreet - had a breastfeeding cover (which over time I gave up, cause really her head covered everything anyway) and I had bfing tops that were great for covering everything else.
I do know and see a lot of people who do have a 'boob hanging out' though. I didn't simply because I'm quite shy and didn't want to, but I have no problem with it - I just look away.
I think most of my friends with twins tandem fed as well - or like a pp said you'd be doing it all day. I think with twins it'd be a good idea to get them on a feeding schedule like in the book Save our Sleep - just to keep your sanity

[bugabean]

I can kinda see the point of looking professional in a uniform, but I also think, as others have stated, that tandem nursing twins is a pretty rare situation and most NIP is not exposing much boob. I further believe that the option of nursing one while the other screams in hunger is less professional-looking. This leaves only one other option: forcing her to pump or formula feed, regardless of the individual needs of the mother and child. Some babies refuse bottles, some mothers don't produce enough when pumping, etc. and this just gets complicated. Unnecessarily complicated, IMO, in the face of how rare this issue is.

[mouseinlux]

I BF DD and plan to continue for a while. If my child is hungry I will feed her. People who bottle feed don't have to cover their poor babies up to feed them a bottle, why should I have to do that to my child? OH and I do nurse while walking around it necessary, what are you supposed to do if you're halfway round the grocery store and your child starts to scream?
I don't show my boob to the world unless DD is being a monster. I don't want everyone to see my boob so I'm careful. If someone told me that I can BF somewhere I would not be happy!
I'm not even touching the military thing.

[oneslybookworm]

Not a mom, so really no experience whatsoever on this. BF in public...probably not my thing, but I have no problem with women who want to do it. I think it's great...go for it!

BF while in uniform while in public. Yep, totally different. But, that might be due to growing up in a heavily military family and hearing about all the rules and regulations. Like someone said...if they can regulate your hair length, they can sure as hell regulate showing bits of your body (whatever bits they may be) in public while in uniform. You sign up for it, and you know going in that the military is a completely different world. Should it be that way? That's not my call. But it is, and you know going in.

[ninjatofu]

I think it's fine, but it bothers me when women get all militant in your face fuck yeah I'm breastfeeding in public look at it! Loooook at it!!!! about it.

I think those people need to be medicated.

Heavily.

[anna7602]

Jun 1, 2012 9:56:07 GMT -5 ninjatofu said:

I think it's fine, but it bothers me when women get all militant in your face fuck yeah I'm breastfeeding in public look at it! Loooook at it!!!! about it.

I think those people need to be medicated.

Heavily.

Do you actually know people who do this, besides the recent TIME covergirl?

Or is militant being confused with "I don't give a fuck if you stare, I'm just going to keep feeding my kid" ?

[oneslybookworm]

Jun 1, 2012 9:56:07 GMT -5 ninjatofu said:

I think it's fine, but it bothers me when women get all militant in your face fuck yeah I'm breastfeeding in public look at it! Loooook at it!!!! about it.

I think those people need to be medicated.

Heavily.

Tofu, I :heart: you.