so i can be sad for a second? i am not pregnant. i knew it was a long shot. i wasn't supposed to this month anyway.
but i'm still really sad. i felt like to GET pregnant would be "proof" that there isn't anything wrong with me. so, i'm not. which means i'm potentially still broken.
i'm trying to be cool about it. i know that i'm overreacting to this. i'm looking forward to having some wine with a friend at dinner on saturday instead of ordering lemonade or something. i'm going to pilates tonight. i'm going to be working a ton this week/weekend, which will be good for my hours. my kid is nice. my husband is nice. i'm okay, really.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Don't think like that. There is nothing wrong with you; you are not broken. It was just a fluke, I truly believe it for you (and for me). You will get pregnant again, and I don't doubt it will be soon. In the meantime, enjoy that wine this weekend. Hugs.
Also, this is very random, but about a month ago I realized what your screen name means. (Or, what I think it means.) I can't believe it took me that long and you can laugh at my dumbness and slowness.
I know how you feel (although I was glad to finally get my postmiscarriage period yesterday. It took so long I was convinced I'd go straight from miscarriage to early menopause). I was just talking to a friend who miscarried after a year of trying, then went on to get pregnant a few months later. Let's follow in her footsteps.
You're not broken. You make beautiful babies. Your body is working on an especially beautiful one that's just taking a little longer to make it's debut.
You're not broken. You're not broken. You're not broken. I will say that over and over to you until you believe it. It will happen for you and you will get another beautiful, healthy baby. I know it.