I do mean it - it is a serious question. The dog bites and attacks people, without warning. If she had bitten strangers and those bites had been reported, I am sure animal control would have taken her away years ago. The bites were never bad enough to warrant medical attention (on an adult) but they were still very painful, took weeks to heal, and scarred.
I don't want to put her down. That's why I am asking for help here. However, if everyone tells me that a dog like this is too dangerous and should be put down, then I would have some thinking to do. Hopefully that isn't the response.
I am not one to think an animal is disposable. If there was a fix for this, I would embrace it in a second.
As someone whom went through this for 5 long grueling years, I couldn't have any strangers in my house, since my dog would attack anyone near me. There were times my dog didn't even allow my own husband to hold me. She had a few mental issues later on from her lyme--but it was so bad the trainers taught us how to cope. Some of these methods sucked since we could not have people over for liability reasons. Sadly we put her down last year after she attacked my FIL - and normally she loved him. It was completely out of the blue, she saw him, greeted fine..5 minutes later growling and attacked. Add that with her lyme/k/d issues I had to do something. I knew we couldn't handle that anymore, it was just getting worse. I loved this dog beyond means, I spent 1000's on medical, trainers, vet, etc--but I had to do what was best for my family and the dog.
This is interesting - my dog has had Lyme disease (twice I think?) and one other tick-based disease. She has always been treated with antibiotics. She is on frontline but our area is quite heavy with ticks. I didn't realize this could create mental issues? However, the first bites occured long before the Lyme.
Mostly by yelling at her that she is a bad dog and demanding that she leave the area. We also have a squirt gun (evolved from the spray bottle) that is sometimes used.
In almost all situations (barking/freaking out type situations), the mere presence of the squirt gun will make her stop what she is doing (without needing to spray). There is no stopping her in the middle of an attack, however. The only solution is to jump far enough away so that she can't reach you anymore.
I think you need to be more firm with her. When my dog misbehaves, we hold his mouth shut (obviously not covering nostrils, so he can breath) for 10 secs, look him in the eye, and with a stern voice say "No!" Other times we pick him up and put him in the bathroom for up to a minute or two.
I know you have your hands full with a H that works a lot, a small child, and another on the way but you must be more consistent and stern with discipline.
Mostly by yelling at her that she is a bad dog and demanding that she leave the area. We also have a squirt gun (evolved from the spray bottle) that is sometimes used.
In almost all situations (barking/freaking out type situations), the mere presence of the squirt gun will make her stop what she is doing (without needing to spray). There is no stopping her in the middle of an attack, however. The only solution is to jump far enough away so that she can't reach you anymore.
I think you need to be more firm with her. When my dog misbehaves, we hold his mouth shut (obviously not covering nostrils, so he can breath) for 10 secs, look him in the eye, and with a stern voice say "No!" Other times we pick him up and put him in the bathroom for up to a minute or two.
I know you have your hands full with a H that works a lot, a small child, and another on the way but you must be more consistent and stern with discipline.
We can't come into physical contact with her after an attack. If I tried to pick her up or even get close to touching her, my hands would be bitten in a second. But I understand what you are saying and will try to research better discipline methods.
Honestly, I think it's a fair question...and I say this as a dog lover who has also volunteered at shelters and rescues.
Really, what are the chances of being able to rehome a dog who is old, has expensive medical issues, and bites?
She can go to a rescue...but what will her quality of life be like in a rescue? She already has anxiety, and shelters/rescues are often loud, chaotic places. The rescue where I primarily volunteered had a few aggressive dogs...and for liability reasons, they would only let a handful of the most experienced volunteers deal with these dogs. Which meant that they lived most of their life in their cage...were lucky to get one walk a day depending on who was there working that day. And stayed there basically forever because they weren't exactly getting adopted out. If that environment is already stressful for her, then I question whether it's worth putting her through that.
I'm not saying put her down...but I question whether rehoming or giving her to a rescue are really realistic and/or even a good option in this scenario.
I think if re-homing is necessary, she should shop around for rescues. The one we got out dog from does not crate at all. Yes, it's hard to have an aggressive dog adopted but you know what? People do adopt them sometimes. And they are still in a loving foster home. I know you're a dog lover but I don't want to discourage OP from this option just based on a few experiences, you know? And as we both know, shelters and rescues are not always synonymous.
Yes, that's a fair point...the rescue where I volunteered was a shelter-like environment. They had kennels and crates to accommodate about 70 dogs and was staffed entirely by volunteers who would feed, walk, etc in shifts. They did have dogs that were fostered in people's homes as well...so something like that would maybe be an option, but most of the foster homes had multiple animals in and out of the house and I'm not clear if she gets along with other dogs or what.
I just think it could be hard to find somewhere that will take her AND that will be an appropriate placement and give her a decent quality of life.
OP, given the additional info, I would probably be honest with your vet about the aggression issues and consider anti-anxiety meds and/or sedatives...even if it means taking her off the liver meds. I wouldn't rule out another behaviorist...but honestly, I feel like these sort of issues tend to get worse, not better with age.
Honestly, I think it's a fair question...and I say this as a dog lover who has also volunteered at shelters and rescues.
Really, what are the chances of being able to rehome a dog who is old, has expensive medical issues, and bites?
She can go to a rescue...but what will her quality of life be like in a rescue? She already has anxiety, and shelters/rescues are often loud, chaotic places. The rescue where I primarily volunteered had a few aggressive dogs...and for liability reasons, they would only let a handful of the most experienced volunteers deal with these dogs. Which meant that they lived most of their life in their cage...were lucky to get one walk a day depending on who was there working that day. And stayed there basically forever because they weren't exactly getting adopted out. If that environment is already stressful for her, then I question whether it's worth putting her through that.
I'm not saying put her down...but I question whether rehoming or giving her to a rescue are really realistic and/or even a good option in this scenario.
I think if re-homing is necessary, she should shop around for rescues. The one we got out dog from does not crate at all. Yes, it's hard to have an aggressive dog adopted but you know what? People do adopt them sometimes. And they are still in a loving foster home. I know you're a dog lover but I don't want to discourage OP from this option just based on a few experiences, you know? And as we both know, shelters and rescues are not always synonymous.
I agree that she should call around (if she does rehome), but honestly, I have also volunteered at numerous rescues and none of them would take a dog like this. A dog with human aggression would be a serious liability for them and anyone who opened their home to foster. There's no harm in trying to call though.
It's such a heart breaking situation. I hope that vigilant training helps.
I just want to say thank you to everyone that is helping. I really appreciate it.
I also want to emphasize that if we did eventually need to rehome, I would never, ever do it without full disclosure of the dog's history. Seriously, a new owner would be bitten in a day if they did not know how to handle her and what to watch out for. So please don't think that I would intentionally try to mislead anyone.
Post by emilyinchile on Jan 29, 2013 14:19:01 GMT -5
I just wanted to wish you luck. I also suggest talking to your vet - I don't think the vet can report you if you just say she has bitten previously, I think reporting can only happen with regard to a specific attack being treated in that moment, but I could be wrong - and finding another trainer. I don't think it's horrible to wonder if putting her down is the best option, but I also don't think you're at that stage yet.
This may not be realistic, especially with your pregnancy, but can you keep the dog on a leash in the house? Having her on a leash would allow you to correct her with a jerk and a loud noise as soon as she starts aggressive behavior. The jerk isn't supposed to choke her or hurt her, just break her concentration. Plus of course it give you the control of being able to remove her from the situation without trying to pick her up, although that might still mean being close enough for her to go for your feet.
Post by shopgirl07 on Jan 29, 2013 14:22:00 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Please have an honest conversation with your vet. Don't worry about being judged, you need help and they should be there to give it. I think I would seriously consider trying the anxiety meds. It sucks that you have to take her off of her liver meds, but the aggression is a bigger problem at this point. Good luck.
Mostly by yelling at her that she is a bad dog and demanding that she leave the area. We also have a squirt gun (evolved from the spray bottle) that is sometimes used.
In almost all situations (barking/freaking out type situations), the mere presence of the squirt gun will make her stop what she is doing (without needing to spray). There is no stopping her in the middle of an attack, however. The only solution is to jump far enough away so that she can't reach you anymore.
I think you need to be more firm with her. When my dog misbehaves, we hold his mouth shut (obviously not covering nostrils, so he can breath) for 10 secs, look him in the eye, and with a stern voice say "No!" Other times we pick him up and put him in the bathroom for up to a minute or two.
I know you have your hands full with a H that works a lot, a small child, and another on the way but you must be more consistent and stern with discipline.
IMO, holding a dog's mouth shut and looking him in the eye is a terrible eye. For a dog that is already quite aggressive, looking them straight in the eye is pretty much a great way for them to bite you again.
OP, I am very sorry you are dealing with this. I think the first step is to a) get it into your head that YES, the dog does deserve to live and then b) talk to your vet about anxiety meds and a rec for a behaviorist.
I would also try to find a way to separate the dog from your children, because the dog can't be trusted at this point. If that means you need a pen in the house (like a wire/gated off area) then maybe that is something to investigate.
I think you need to be more firm with her. When my dog misbehaves, we hold his mouth shut (obviously not covering nostrils, so he can breath) for 10 secs, look him in the eye, and with a stern voice say "No!" Other times we pick him up and put him in the bathroom for up to a minute or two.
I know you have your hands full with a H that works a lot, a small child, and another on the way but you must be more consistent and stern with discipline.
We can't come into physical contact with her after an attack. If I tried to pick her up or even get close to touching her, my hands would be bitten in a second. But I understand what you are saying and will try to research better discipline methods.
emily's leash suggestion is a good one. The problem with this is that it sounds like, out of fear of being bitten yourself, you're letting her be the alpha, and decide when she's going to behave aggressively. She shouldn't have that option. Maybe a trainer can work with you on other ways to authoritatively stop the behavior, rather than back up and hope she stops.
I just wanted to wish you luck. I also suggest talking to your vet - I don't think the vet can report you if you just say she has bitten previously, I think reporting can only happen with regard to a specific attack being treated in that moment, but I could be wrong - and finding another trainer. I don't think it's horrible to wonder if putting her down is the best option, but I also don't think you're at that stage yet.
This may not be realistic, especially with your pregnancy, but can you keep the dog on a leash in the house? Having her on a leash would allow you to correct her with a jerk and a loud noise as soon as she starts aggressive behavior. The jerk isn't supposed to choke her or hurt her, just break her concentration. Plus of course it give you the control of being able to remove her from the situation without trying to pick her up, although that might still mean being close enough for her to go for your feet.
Thanks. We've actually done this before - this was one of the steps with the behaviorist. It might be worth a try again.
In addition to talking to the vet, I'm starting to formulate a plan in my head now - somehow trying to make the kitchen off-limits to the dog (since this is where she's be most likely to go crazy due to food possession). Maybe this leash idea can help with redirection and to get her back to her "safe spot". I think I need to move her pillow to the corner of the room instead of right outside the kitchen, as well.
ETA: And maybe a play yard-type pen like many have suggested for the times when my hands will be full nursing, making dinner, etc., just so DS can walk around without me following him constantly and having a constant panic attack. Sounds like a better idea than locking her away at the other end of the house.
I would not keep the dog. It sounds as though you love the dog, but also hate it and are afraid of it. That is no way to live in your own home. It sounds as though your guests are also afraid of the dog. I am not that much of an animal lover, so if someone offered me a dog with the personality and medical problems that this dog has I would under no circumstances take the dog, even if I didn't have kids. I would let that one go.
IMO, holding a dog's mouth shut and looking him in the eye is a terrible eye. For a dog that is already quite aggressive, looking them straight in the eye is pretty much a great way for them to bite you again.
OP, I am very sorry you are dealing with this. I think the first step is to a) get it into your head that YES, the dog does deserve to live and then b) talk to your vet about anxiety meds and a rec for a behaviorist.
I would also try to find a way to separate the dog from your children, because the dog can't be trusted at this point. If that means you need a pen in the house (like a wire/gated off area) then maybe that is something to investigate.
I see what you mean. The dog may respond negatively a few times but honestly you have to be the Alpha in your home as Susie mentioned. Now, I've only read a book on training and it went great with my dog. I have no real training or true knowledge of training dogs.
I'm sorry. It is really, really hard. I will come out and be the one to say I got rid of an aggressive dog when I had my second child. He was an outdoor dog from the day he was born (his former owners, not us). We house trained him, took him to puppy class and all was good for 4 years. He was skittish and also used to snap a lot at dh and I around food/water, but otherwise a good dog. Edited to add that he lived inside with us, not outside.
He bit dh twice after we had ds. We worked with a behaviorist after that. She said that he was probably neglected as a puppy and had to fight for food/water (common for backyard breeders she said). She said that after his sessions, she wouldn't recommend him for a home with kids. She said that he would be adoptable for adult homes with other dogs since he wasn't dog aggressive. We sat on the info for over 2 years before the following incident solidified our decision. When I was 9 months pregnant and he knocked me over when I was going to get his water bowl to clean it and bit ds in the same incident (no broken skin, but a bruise). The worst part of that was that he would try and bite me when I went to tend to ds. Dh took him to a local rescue the following week.
It still makes me sad, but really there wasn't anything else we could do. The vet didn't think meds would help and the behaviorist said our home wasn't suitable for his needs. He was adopted out to a family with older teens. He is still alive and happy. Life with our other dog is amazing. He is sweet as can be and I can always find him curled up on the couch in the playroom with the kids. I am ready for the flames.
But please speak with your vet, a different behaviorist, and a rescue. Don't just put the dog down. There are resources to help you with this, but there is no magic cure. I don't believe that every home is right for every dog. Dogs have personalities and so do people. Not every one will mesh. But it is your responsibility to help him find a place where he belongs, even if it isn't with you.
I have been where you are so I wanted to just tell you that you are not a bad person if you decide to rehome the dog if you can find her a safe and understanding place that is right for her and her temperament.
I had a dog that is exactly like how you describe your dog. He was not fond of people, very afraid and would act aggressive when anyone would approach him. We worked with 4 different dog behaviorists trying to correct the behavior, but in the end we were unable to achieve any positive results and the behavior got worse. We chose to give him back to the breeder, who knew there was some kind of problem with the litter. She had more tools and experience to work with him without being so emotionally invested/stressed out as we were in our situation.
I think you have two options here - hire another behaviorist or rehome the dog. The training that you have learned is obviously not working here. Kids are unpredictable and scary and having a dog like this who is afraid/fearful of unpredictable behavior/strangers makes it worse. Sometimes your local dog behaviorist can point you in a direction of a place that might be willing to take on a dog like this. Sometimes all the dog needs is a change of residence/owners to start fresh.
Either way - hugs. You aren't just disposing of the dog, you are very thoughtful here.
There is a horse rescue near me that took in a mare that had been starved and dehydrated until near death. She had to be rigged up in a sling to hold her up and fed small amounts of food, tons of medications, etc, etc. They poured thousands of dollars into this mare, knowing full well IF she made a recovery, she would be forever hampered for life, chronic health and behavior problems, etc. She didn't recover and had to be put down. This may be flameful but I still think about how many other horses could have been saved and re-homed with that money. (A very large chunk of change.) So, there are 100s of perfectly behaved and healthy dogs being put down every single day because no one will take of them. There has to be a line where all the stress and time and money you are putting into this dog could be better spent on another one. That said, I don't think you are there yet. Try a second behaviorist. I agree with PP that the first one was not effective. Try anxiety meds. But it boils down to, could you ever forgive yourself if a mistake is made and you can't keep an eye on three independent little beings at once? (Not that it would be your fault, but you know what I mean.) A dog's life is worth a lot, in my opinion, but not worth a child getting hurt. And that dog doesn't sound like she has a top-notch quality of life if she is constantly stressed, constantly separated from her "pack," on multiple medications, and may need risky late-in-life surgery. I wouldn't subject her to being put in a crate for the remainder of her years at a rescue or shelter. Like you said, you feel like she is your responsibility, so I would take responsibility for her either way. An honorable death should be a last option, but it is an option, and I'm not going to flame you for considering it. (In due time.)
Post by emilyinchile on Jan 29, 2013 14:40:30 GMT -5
Keeping her out of the kitchen and in a play pen is a great idea. Giving her a small space can help her feel like that's her territory while at the same time emphasizing that the rest of the house is your territory. There is no reason for a dog to have the run of the place if she's not behaving. If her spot is right outside the kitchen now, she may feel like the kitchen is her domain, which obviously is not good.
How do you feed her and how is she when she's fed? If you aren't already doing this, practice putting her food down at specific times vs. having it available all day. She should sit and wait while you put the food down and only go to her bowl when you allow her to. This again reinforces that you are the alpha and you are giving her food vs. it being her food that she just has a right to. To start, one of you can put the food down while the other checks her on the leash, then work up to her sitting and staying by herself while you put the food down.
Well, the 'does this dog deserve to live' part is disturbing. I'd like to think that you didn't mean that.
You have 2 choices here. You either rehome her, or you invest in another behavioralist and continue to work with her until she improves.
I do mean it - it is a serious question. The dog bites and attacks people, without warning. If she had bitten strangers and those bites had been reported, I am sure animal control would have taken her away years ago. The bites were never bad enough to warrant medical attention (on an adult) but they were still very painful, took weeks to heal, and scarred.
I don't want to put her down. That's why I am asking for help here. However, if everyone tells me that a dog like this is too dangerous and should be put down, then I would have some thinking to do. Hopefully that isn't the response.
I am not one to think an animal is disposable. If there was a fix for this, I would embrace it in a second.
I understand what you meant when you listed off all the health issues. It's not so much "deserve to live" but more - how much more time/money/energy do we put into this and at what point are we just prolonging the inevitable because we don't want to make the decision? Or how much is too much for the animal and when we would be doing the right thing by actually putting them down. The problem is when it's a list like you've described it's not as easy as a terminal illness diagnosis. And the dog can't tell you if the arthritis is a pain scale 10 or 5 and how often that is. So I get that. Especially when you're also dealing with a major behavioural thing. It's overwhelming and you constantly wonder if you're doing the right thing.
What you need to do is talk to your vet first. With her medical history you need to know if things are getting worse (pain responses) or the medications she's on aren't quite right. Or is there something new?
Then you need to find a good behaviourist because the answer you got is crap. It sounds a lot like resource guarding to me that has never been worked on and has gotten worse.
Where you go from there, I don't know. And I'm sorry you have to worry about this. It sounds like DS may be old enough to learn "if you need something and the dog is there, come get Mom or Dad" - that may be a good idea while you figure out what comes next.
Post by thatgirl2478 on Jan 29, 2013 14:45:09 GMT -5
I would start with a trainer - not a class since her bite reflex seems to be rather unpredictable - and a vet visit. Perhaps she has something that hurts or is having problems seeing / hearing that are causing her to startle more easily.
If the vet / trainer don't give you any more information, I would buy a large pen (we got a 6 panel one off amazon to separate one half our family room from the other) for her while your son is around her. Do that until he's old enough to know to leave her alone.
Honestly, if you give her up, the shelters are likely to just put her down since she has bitten in the past and is likely to do so again!
I think you need to be more firm with her. When my dog misbehaves, we hold his mouth shut (obviously not covering nostrils, so he can breath) for 10 secs, look him in the eye, and with a stern voice say "No!" Other times we pick him up and put him in the bathroom for up to a minute or two.
I know you have your hands full with a H that works a lot, a small child, and another on the way but you must be more consistent and stern with discipline.
IMO, holding a dog's mouth shut and looking him in the eye is a terrible eye. For a dog that is already quite aggressive, looking them straight in the eye is pretty much a great way for them to bite you again.
OP, I am very sorry you are dealing with this. I think the first step is to a) get it into your head that YES, the dog does deserve to live and then b) talk to your vet about anxiety meds and a rec for a behaviorist.
I would also try to find a way to separate the dog from your children, because the dog can't be trusted at this point. If that means you need a pen in the house (like a wire/gated off area) then maybe that is something to investigate.
I agree...total bad idea...and this whole response did sort of angers me. It's clearly not an issue of being firm. When I had my puppy...people used to give me the advice "just tell him no", like that was some magical solution I was too dumb to think of
Thank you again for all of the great suggestions. I just ordered one of those 8-panel play pens (it will be here Thursday - thank goodness for Amazon). This will at least let me feel comfortable while the toddler is running around until we can talk to the vet and get a behavorist rec. It isn't even a lot of time that she will be in the pen - we work full time, so I will just be dealing with dinner hour. On weekends, she is okay with staying out of the playroom.
IMO, holding a dog's mouth shut and looking him in the eye is a terrible eye. For a dog that is already quite aggressive, looking them straight in the eye is pretty much a great way for them to bite you again.
OP, I am very sorry you are dealing with this. I think the first step is to a) get it into your head that YES, the dog does deserve to live and then b) talk to your vet about anxiety meds and a rec for a behaviorist.
I would also try to find a way to separate the dog from your children, because the dog can't be trusted at this point. If that means you need a pen in the house (like a wire/gated off area) then maybe that is something to investigate.
I agree...total bad idea...and this whole response did sort of angers me. It's clearly not an issue of being firm. When I had my puppy...people used to give me the advice "just tell him no", like that was some magical solution I was too dumb to think of
I never said, if you bothered to read most of my posts, that it's only an issue of being firm. It's a lot of things that need to be worked on, and even then may not work. Being firm and consistent in discipline is one of them.
From OP's pps, it is clear she is not consistent with training and I not shaming her about it by any means. She is extremely busy and has a dog with serious problems.
You can't discipline her after an attack - 1) it really doesn't work to discipline after the fact for anything with dogs and 2) she is not making a rational decision to attack you - it's stemming from severe anxiety. Screaming at someone to stop having a panic attack doesn't stop the panic attack.
May I ask why it doesn't work? I'm asking sincerely because it worked with my dog and I can't think of what else would have changed him. Is it the same with positive reinforcement and training (for tricks and the sort)? I also honestly think that the dogs anxiety is a major player in this but it also seems she's attacking based on her training/patterns.
Post by jennistarr1 on Jan 29, 2013 15:02:33 GMT -5
the response from 5 dogs seems like the most honest to me
knowing that there is actual medical things going on (liver and history of lyme disease) I think your vet should be able to work with you medically first, finding a specialist 2nd, and knowing when/if you'll have to make the decision to euthanize.
I wanted to say, I'm sorry....I can tell that you do love her and this is very anxiety provoking for you...
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on Jan 29, 2013 15:08:58 GMT -5
What kind of quality of life does this dog really have? Existing medical conditions. Constantly being yelled at and fear by her family. She can't be around people and she doesn't really want to be around people. Even if you rehomed her, you could be held responsible for any damage that she inflicts on another person. If you have truly exhausted all options for this animal, I would consider putting her down. Dogs have no sense of time. An extra four years of misery on everyone's part isn't going to make a bit of difference to the dog. She will be dead. At this point, you are keeping her around for your own peace of mind and to avoid the guilt. How is that fair to her? To your son? To your yet to be born infant? To your husband? To you? It isn't. I love my animals more than just about anything, but you need to be realistic.
I am glad you are considering options before rehoming. I would talk to your vet, try another trainer and/or behaviorist, and try separating the dog from the kids (and any other of the reasonable suggestions above - I didn't read every one). If you have truly exhausted ALL options and your dog is still a danger to your kids, I don't see an issue with rehoming. It doesn't sound like a matter of just being too busy or too lazy to care for the dog. I don't think you, your kids, or even the dog should have to live in an environment that is that stressful.
I also may be weird but I think I'd adopt a dog like yours. I don't have kids, we rarely have guests, and a few small scratches/bites aren't a big deal to me. Her age is a complicating factor, but it IS possible that someone out there would have a lifestyle that would work for a dog like yours, as long as they are aware of the issue and are prepared to handle the dog in a way that doesn't provoke those behaviors. I think your situation is difficult because kids are impossible to control completely when they are young like yours are and no matter how much you work with your kids, they are likely to at some point mess up and provoke the dog by accident. I don't think an adult would do that as easily (and wouldn't be as wounded if they were bitten). Maybe that sounds crazy, lol.
Mostly by yelling at her that she is a bad dog and demanding that she leave the area. We also have a squirt gun (evolved from the spray bottle) that is sometimes used.
In almost all situations (barking/freaking out type situations), the mere presence of the squirt gun will make her stop what she is doing (without needing to spray). There is no stopping her in the middle of an attack, however. The only solution is to jump far enough away so that she can't reach you anymore.
You can't discipline her after an attack - 1) it really doesn't work to discipline after the fact for anything with dogs and 2) she is not making a rational decision to attack you - it's stemming from severe anxiety. Screaming at someone to stop having a panic attack doesn't stop the panic attack.
OP, you need a vet behaviorist (a DVM who has done a residency in animal behavior - like a psychiatrist), not a regular behaviorist and not a regular vet. They will be able to tell you whether any meds are an option with the liver meds and what your options are, in addition to behavioral modification. They are more expensive, but most vets/behaviorists can't handle something this severe, and I'm pretty sure this is not fixable without some kind of medication. There is usually a wait, so start soon. You need to be honest about the bite history - the vets are not going to take your dog away, and I'm pretty sure they (or a doctor) only have to report the bite when it happens (because there is supposed to be a 10-day quarantine).
Additionally, you need to find a way to keep her separate from your son unless you/your husband are between your son and the dog. I do this with my dogs, and they don't even have the same issues - it's just something you need to do with toddlers/preschoolers. You can try tethering her on a bed (they make short leashes that you can hook to a heavy piece of furniture or an eyebolt in the wall) on one side of the room (and keep your son away from her), you can try an exercise pen, gates if possible so she can still see you, things to keep her occupied (like a frozen kong during dinner). This is also how you need to avoid having her with people who don't follow the "rules," which sound like: don't pick her up, don't bother her when sleeping, don't take things away from her directly (use a command or squirt gun to get her to drop it), don't walk near her, etc. Our dog with anxiety/OCD panics when she isn't in the same room as us, but we can tether her (now that she is medicated), and she will work on a kong during dinner.
If you try all this and can't figure out a way to keep everyone safe, she deserves to be euthanized in your arms and go peacefully. If you try to rehome her (if anyone even takes her with a bite history like that - no rescue wants that liability - a shelter will likely take her straight back to be euthanized), she will be bounced around until someone else makes the decision to euthanize. There are too many dogs that are young and don't have the health and behavioral issues that she has for a rescue to spend their resources and take the liability risk on her. This is just a hard truth. You are the one who will put the most effort into her, so you need to decide where the line is.
If you want more information, you can PM me or email jendusk at yahoo dot com as we have been working with a vet behaviorist (and vet, and behaviorist) for a long time with our dog.
I agree with ALL of this. I'm a board member for a breed-specific rescue and we will not take an owner surrender with a bite history. It's too much of a liability for our rescue.
You either need to work with a vet behaviorist as recommended above or have her humanely euthanized.
OP, maybe the rescue I got my dog from is a very rare exception. It's looking like that may be the case from PPs and I don't want to build up expectations. I'm sorry .