Oh my god, you become more and more awful with every post!
How? I'm just reading your responses and taking from them. You (not YOU specifically) are saying she's not responsible due to us. I'm trying to take that statement into action by making her responsible.
The only real issue here is if she's crying poor and not contributing to the household expenses.
I would just cheerfully reply, "Well, seeing as you apparently earn enough to afford a tattoo, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to pay $x rent every month/buy groceries twice a month/pay the cable bill/etc." And then drop the tattoo topic all together after that.
Yes. SHe is crying poor
Was it ever discussed that she should pay rent or contribute to food? That's a conversation that should have happened before she moved in, and it's not fair of you to change the expectations now.
Also, how big is this tattoo? I'm guessing this wasn't more than $150. It's not like she dropped a grand. Lay off of her.
If it's that much of a burden on you to have her live with you, tell her she has to move. Acting like some sort of crazed, passive-aggressive den mother is not cool.
The only real issue here is if she's crying poor and not contributing to the household expenses.
I would just cheerfully reply, "Well, seeing as you apparently earn enough to afford a tattoo, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to pay $x rent every month/buy groceries twice a month/pay the cable bill/etc." And then drop the tattoo topic all together after that.
BUT WHY? So if she didn't have a tattoo, it would be perfectly fine for her to live rent free, but now she can't? I'm not understanding this logic here.
We are not saying that now that she got a tattoo she needs to pay for rent. We are saying that it is obvious that the poster and her dad are not helping her sister be an adult and a good way to start would be to have her pay something like a responsible adult.
Was it ever discussed that she should pay rent or contribute to food? That's a conversation that should have happened before she moved in, and it's not fair of you to change the expectations now. When she moved in, she didn't have a job. Therefore if I asked her to give me $ it would come from my parents, which I could not accept. She just got a job like 2 months ago - she used her first paycheck for said tattoo.
Also, how big is this tattoo? I'm guessing this wasn't more than $150. It's not like she dropped a grand. Lay off of her. It's pretty big. It takes up her entire shoulder blade and comes up her neck
If it's that much of a burden on you to have her live with you, tell her she has to move. Acting like some sort of crazed, passive-aggressive den mother is not cool.
The only burden is that my parents have made me responsible for her. Or that's the way they make me feel.
Was it ever discussed that she should pay rent or contribute to food? That's a conversation that should have happened before she moved in, and it's not fair of you to change the expectations now. When she moved in, she didn't have a job. Therefore if I asked her to give me $ it would come from my parents, which I could not accept. She just got a job like 2 months ago - she used her first paycheck for said tattoo.
Also, how big is this tattoo? I'm guessing this wasn't more than $150. It's not like she dropped a grand. Lay off of her. It's pretty big. It takes up her entire shoulder blade and comes up her neck
If it's that much of a burden on you to have her live with you, tell her she has to move. Acting like some sort of crazed, passive-aggressive den mother is not cool.
The only burden is that my parents have made me responsible for her. Or that's the way they make me feel.
I can see that, and it sucks. So talk to them, and tell them how you're feeling. Something's gotta give here, for your sake and your sister's.
Oh my god, you become more and more awful with every post!
How? I'm just reading your responses and taking from them. You (not YOU specifically) are saying she's not responsible due to us. I'm trying to take that statement into action by making her responsible.
I'm confused. Seriously
I'm sure you're a nice person, but in this particular post you sound
- way too concerned about what your dad will think about a choice that his adult daughter made - too involved in your sister's life
Ya just gotta let go, and if you can't, maybe she shouldn't live there.
Is anyone else weirded out by what the OPs parents must be like?
They sound like my parents. My dad. I pierced my tongue in college and he pretended to have a heart attack, clutching his chest and saying a Hail Mary. It was pretty amazing.
Post by Jalapeñomel on Jun 1, 2012 10:28:03 GMT -5
I got a tattoo in college, while my parents were paying my all my expenses. I used the money I made from my part time job, and I hid it from them for years.
This post makes no sense. I think you are projecting your feelings about the living situation on this tattoo.
Is anyone else weirded out by what the OPs parents must be like?
Like mine, I'm imagining. I'm remembering the time my mother was all irate that Mr. Kuus and I chose contraceptives without including her in on the decisionmaking process.
Like mine, I'm imagining. I'm remembering the time my mother was all irate that Mr. Kuus and I chose contraceptives without including her in on the decisionmaking process.
You know that cat in MWOS' sig pic? The one that's looking at the universe in amazement? I'm making that face.
I would be annoyed that she is living with me rent free but who gives a shit that she got a tattoo? She is an adult and it is her body and right to do with it whatever she wants. Ok so your parents are conservative, so what? Again, she is an adult. You do not need to run tattling to your parents. Just stay out of it.
When I got my tattoo, my mom told me I was going to hell because I'd marked my body and that I was a trashy whore.
When I'd told her that I was sexually active in high school and that I was on contraceptives, she to this day says that I'm a dirty slut when she gets angry. She lied until this past year that she got married a virgin, and when I confronted her on her hypocrisy, she just said she did nothing wrong and that's what good parents do.
Shitty parents are exhausting. OP needs to break the trend her parents have passed on to her.
Is anyone else weirded out by what the OPs parents must be like?
Like mine, I'm imagining. I'm remembering the time my mother was all irate that Mr. Kuus and I chose contraceptives without including her in on the decisionmaking process.
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Jun 1, 2012 11:47:34 GMT -5
As someone who has spent the majority of her life caring for her younger siblings, I really, truly get the pressure and stress it puts you under. However, at some point, especially now that your sister is over 18, you have to take a step back. Your poor sister is never going to grow up, be mature, make good decisions, etc with you and your dad dogging her every step. Part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them. So, she got a tattoo. Big deal.
Honestly, it sounds like she is doing pretty damn good for a college student. You and your dad chose to support her while she is in school, so I don't really see it as a handout. She is going to college, working for her fun money, you didn't mention that she is doing drugs, drinking, partying all the time, and so on, so I would say that you and your dad both need to take a step back and let her figure things out. A tattoo really isn't the end of the world.
Dude, I haven't read all the responses, but this is ridiculous.
All of my younger sibs have tattoos - got them when they were young and my mom did not approve. It is not even near the realm of my business, and it's certainly not my business to inform my parents.
Your sister lives with you because she is attends college, not to be taken care of by you.