Dude a STRANGER was judging your two cakes? How in the hell is it any of her business? What if you were having to unique and separate celebrations that each deserved cake? What if you had enough people for two cakes? Some people just like cake.
Our family has 17 people with birthdays within the same 15 day period in the summer so we have a family cookout and birthday celebration because who doesn't love an excuse to kick back and relax during hay season. We all get our own little cake (like a 4" cake) and then a few sheet cakes that say something related to summer / hay production / family related and it's great. I would LOVE to see her reaction when we pulled up with two carts to load up 20 cakes.
Post by bananapancakes on Feb 14, 2013 17:41:02 GMT -5
My H is 30 and an identical twin. MIL still makes sure to get two cakes and sing to each guy individually because she once read it in one of her "twin books". I think you're doing the right thing. Not strange at all.
Post by dragonfly08 on Feb 14, 2013 17:46:42 GMT -5
I make my kids share a cake if they're having a combined party. But 1) that usually only happens when we invite the family over...parties for friends are separate...so two cakes would be overkill for the small guest list, and 2) they aren't twins sharing a birthday and so much else year in and year out.
If I had twins, I'd totally do separate cakes and singing. The twins I know, by the time they're tweens and up, have separate parties, never mind cakes, because they tend to have developed their own circles of friends.
I am a twin and we only ever had one cake. It was always an ice cream cake. It took my parents until my 16th birthday to realize that I didn't like ice cream cake. (Everyone else around here does, it's the norm for kids cakes here)
Even this year for our 25th birthday we got one cake. Lol
I have twin siblings. When they were younger it was always 2 cakes- one was chocolate and one strawberry. Now that they are older the desserts have changed (so instead of cake it may be cheesecake or brownies), but there's still always 2.
I'd probably order two smash cakes. I think the ones we order for E are about 7". If I had twins - I'd have the cakes decorated to suit their individual personalities.
We get a smash cake for E and a sheet cake for everyone else at his party. Twelve year old SS gets a sheet cake for his birthday.
DD has two sets of twins in her class, and they have each had a cake at their birthday parties. They had joint parties, just separate cakes. Not weird at all.
Well, I would be a shitty twin mom, because I think I'd just get them both one cake.
I think it's sweet that you get two.
I don't know if Bab is more mellow than me about this b/c her girls are older, but I am borderline obsessed with making sure they know they are appreciated as individuals. When I read "The Night You Were Born" I always add an extra "you" and point to / pat each boy so they know.
And it doesn't even matter right now b/c they're all "individuwhat? gimme those cheerios and that car, kaythanks. No wait I want brother's car instead, oh and his cheerios look better."
I'll be honest, I don't really worry about this stuff. I guess it doesn't really seem like a problem to me. The girls are very different, they get treated differently, they like and dislike different things...I've never felt the need to make a pointed effort to individualize. They just ARE individuals, you know? I don't get upset if people call them the girls (obviously, because I do), and I wouldn't stress about two cakes or one unless they cared. Some things with twins are different, but that's nice. They get a bulit-in companion, a compatriot, a playmate, and a best friend. If that means they share a little more, I'm ok with that.
ETA: I'm lol'ing now, because the minute I pushed send on this, my H was like "oh, the girls put all their gifts in one bag, is that ok? And I was like "yeah, it's fine, it'll end up that way, I just wanted them each to have something to open." So anyway, I don't want to make it sound like that's unimportant, I just didn't want you (Ninja) to think that it requires a lot of extra effort, or that individualization is something that you must be pointed about at all times. it kinda happens naturally, at least for me.
"The boys" doesn't bother me -- "the twins" does. That's a random issue for me, though, I know.
I don't know. I think right now some people definitely see them as a set, and that bothers me. There is a lot about twins that are great and a lot that sucks. This is just my focus to hopefully help the suckage suck a little less.
"The boys" doesn't bother me -- "the twins" does. That's a random issue for me, though, I know.
I don't know. I think right now some people definitely see them as a set, and that bothers me. There is a lot about twins that are great and a lot that sucks. This is just my focus to hopefully help the suckage suck a little less.
There is a set of twins in my 3 yo niece's daycare class. The parents asked that they be referred to as sisters. I thought it was interesting because they went through that much trouble to make sure they're not just called "twins", but then they still dress them in matching outfits.
A lot of people will just do one party for their kids if their birthdays are in the same month, let alone twins.