Lol, everything that comes out of my mil's mouth is crazy/insane. For real.
On the baby name thing (I've mentioned this before), when I was pregnant with S I mentioned a name wi a 'th' in it and she legit started screaming that we can never name our kids anything with th because russians can't pronounce th or some such bullshit. She was ANGRY, dude. Sooo, we're naming our baby Theo <). Suck it, mil.
H and I had Athena on our long list of baby names. We decided against it because my family would have pronounced it A-tea-na. 'Th' sounds are very hard for the French to procnounce. lol
OH! She also told me that I miscarried the first time because I announced it too early. Like, not even that I jinxed it, but that people were shooting bad energy daggers at me so I lost the baby. Gee, thanks for trying to guilt me.
Lol, everything that comes out of my mil's mouth is crazy/insane. For real.
On the baby name thing (I've mentioned this before), when I was pregnant with S I mentioned a name wi a 'th' in it and she legit started screaming that we can never name our kids anything with th because russians can't pronounce th or some such bullshit. She was ANGRY, dude. Sooo, we're naming our baby Theo <). Suck it, mil.
H and I had Athena on our long list of baby names. We decided against it because my family would have pronounced it A-tea-na. 'Th' sounds are very hard for the French to procnounce. lol
Haha. The only people who would have had a problem with pronouncing it would be the grandmothers who don't even speak english. Everyone else pretty sounds pretty much Canadian now. She's just insane.
MIL told us (for what is probably the twentieth time) that tickling or surprising small children causes them to grow up with a stutter. She also mentioned to me that I shouldn't be lifting my arms above my head because it will cause me to miscarry, she firmly believes that's what caused her miscarriage 36 years ago. First, what? How am I supposed to get dressed? Second, why didn't you give me this gem of wisdom when I was pregnant with the first kid?
GMIL wondered if I could tell her which nursing home in town had the best food, because she wants to pick the place she'll rehabilitate after her hip replacement. I am an accountant, at an insurance company. How would I know what kind of food nursing homes have? That one amused me.
My kid is screwed then, because he loves to get surprised.
We didn't see IL's in person, but H skyped with them and his dad informed us that H's sister has been married for like 2 years - no one had any idea. We all thought that this was her bf, apparently, they got married like right after they started dating and never felt the need to tell anyone. We've never even met this guy.
OH! She also told me that I miscarried the first time because I announced it too early. Like, not even that I jinxed it, but that people were shooting bad energy daggers at me so I lost the baby. Gee, thanks for trying to guilt me.
MIL told us (for what is probably the twentieth time) that tickling or surprising small children causes them to grow up with a stutter.
My kid is screwed then, because he loves to get surprised.
Yeah, mine too. He's not quite 3, and you can run around her kitchen and living room in a big circle. It's like a built in tag/surprise course. I'm never quite sure what to say to her when she mentions this, but FIL started in on a discussion of what actually causes a person to stutter. I think MIL was unhappy that her theory was being soundly ignored.
We didn't see IL's in person, but H skyped with them and his dad informed us that H's sister has been married for like 2 years - no one had any idea. We all thought that this was her bf, apparently, they got married like right after they started dating and never felt the need to tell anyone. We've never even met this guy.
omg. This is going to be my SIL. She's seeing a guy now and I am convinced that they're going to elope and not tell anyone until she gets pregnant or something after they've been married for 5 years. She's super secretive with everything. But, I get it since my MIL is psycho.
My MIL is semi back in our lives, so...yay! Stories.
I haven't spoken to her in 9 years and I have given no thought to what my kid would call her. She hasn't even met her other grandchild, so who knows.
She sent an Easter card to my daughter, signed [daughter's nickname] She has decided that she wants to be called [my daughters nickname] instead of Grandma. She's a fucking loon. It's been a month and she's already messing with me.
I keep typing and deleting. I don't even know what to say about this level of absurdity.
We didn't see IL's in person, but H skyped with them and his dad informed us that H's sister has been married for like 2 years - no one had any idea. We all thought that this was her bf, apparently, they got married like right after they started dating and never felt the need to tell anyone. We've never even met this guy.
omg. This is going to be my SIL. She's seeing a guy now and I am convinced that they're going to elope and not tell anyone until she gets pregnant or something after they've been married for 5 years. She's super secretive with everything. But, I get it since my MIL is psycho.
I tried to tell H that we shouldn't be surprised, because his sister is shady as all hell, but yeah....
MIL said 'kids who pick their noses and eat boogers do that because they are hungry.'
Add yours!
When I was growing up, my mom would pick her nose and eat her boogers. It took years, but I finally shamed her enough to quit. Her excuse was that there was no where else to put it. Missing.the.point. To this day I can't take any kind of hand in mouth action, like nail biting, because of how gross it was.
I don't really talk about it IRL because it's so revolting, but I usually break out in hives when I go back to my parents' house. Ick.
Lol, yeahh. Pretty much. We made the decision to cut her out of our lives back in December. It's been wonderful.
So far, I've only permittedy H to take G over there when his Dad is there. (And only when we're in town, which is rare) because it's the only we he's allowed see his Dad. She'll never be alone with MIL, ever, and I won't be doing any family functions anytime soon. Life was grand when she wasn't in the picture.
We aren't sure if this is going to be a permanent thing, but right now she's just too unstable. In November she came to my house and out of thin air started screaming at me about how if my marriage fails it will be on me and women should just sit down and shut up and let their H's do what they want. So I kicked her out, didn't speak to her for a month, got no apology, then she went around telling everyone, including my h, that I didn't love my h. Then she pulled some major fuckery in December, so we just decided that she's too fucking nuts to be a part our children's lives.
Besides, if she cared about seeing my kid, she would be trying a bit harder to make things right with me. She doesn't care about anyone but herself and I'm convinced she actually has some kind of mental illness.
MIL said 'kids who pick their noses and eat boogers do that because they are hungry.'
Add yours!
When I was growing up, my mom would pick her nose and eat her boogers. It took years, but I finally shamed her enough to quit. Her excuse was that there was no where else to put it. Missing.the.point. To this day I can't take any kind of hand in mouth action, like nail biting, because of how gross it was.
I don't really talk about it IRL because it's so revolting, but I usually break out in hives when I go back to my parents' house. Ick.
That's nasty! my xbf's parents always had a shit load of pets. 2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 turtles 2 rabbits, anyway, everytime we went there for dinner it was like playing Survivor. I did not want to eat the food because ex-MIL would prep and cook food with 3 cats on the counter watching her. Barf!
Not to mention, the one cat a Bengal (so pretty) the little fucker would try to steal my meat off my fork!
Post by amberlyrose on Apr 1, 2013 13:53:50 GMT -5
While in Scotland, my mom was legitimately surprised that they didn't take American dollars. We were asking one bar owner our first night how tipping worked, and he gave us a quick run down. Then my mom asked "But can we pay the bill in our dollars?" and the guy gave her the funniest look and I busted out with the embarrassed "Mom! No!" while my dad back tracked about how they live near the Mexican border, so they are used to just paying in dollars instead of pesos or some shit. I don't know.
She really didn't see why they wouldn't take her dollars.
Post by melodramatic26 on Apr 1, 2013 14:04:30 GMT -5
my SIL works in a bank. At dinner, she stated that a couple came in to change the last name on the account b/c they took each other's last name. No one really understood what SIL was talking about--- then she said "you know, since IL passed the gay marriage thing".
As I was saying "awww that's fantastic they did that", MIL said "oh that's scary". I quickly turned to her and said "scary? What? What exactly is "scary" about that?" She said "Oh, isn't that one of your customers (to SIL)? Don't they call Sheila Scary?"
I started to question her more, but then Dh cut in and changed the subject b/c he knew I was getting pissed. So yeah, that was fun.
Post by stephanie207 on Apr 1, 2013 15:36:54 GMT -5
We got harped on for two days about not wanting to go to a party that is months away. Literally a bunch of "well so and so might not be around for much longer" and it all ended with "well you do what you feel you need to do".
This story isn't from this weekend but it's a funny naming story, so I'll throw it in.
When I found out I was PG with DD, my FIL was in town to help us with a building project. We got MIL on the phone while FIL was sitting in our kitchen so we could tell them at the same time. MIL was furious that FIL was told in person but she was told over the phone. So in typical MIL fashion, she starts complaining of chest pains and calls an ambulance. FIL rushes to the airport to get home to her and we make plans to get into the car to make the 10 hour drive to be with her. Of course, nothing is wrong with MIL when we get there, although she has harassed her doctor into keeping her in the hospital overnight for observation. (She has managed to find a doctor who is quite willing to prescribe all kinds of pills and tests because she harasses him and fakes symptoms to get attention)
So we get there just as she's waiting for the wheelchair to come for her release. I walk into the room and she calls me to her bedside. She takes both my hands in hers and in her best deathbed voice, asks me if I would please follow her family's naming tradition and name a firstborn girl "Mary". (Her name). 5 minutes after her deathbed request, she gets released from the hospital. DH and I leave th hospital and in the car I say, "I didn't know Mary was a family name, is your grandma's real name Mary?" DH laughs and tells me his mom is the only person in his family who is named Mary. So by following the family naming tradition, she meant she wanted to start one by naming our baby after her.
When our DD was born, it was just before Easter. The plan was for my mom to stay with us for the first 10 days after DD was Ron and MIL to come
When DD was born MIL was supposed to wait 2 weeks until we got settled at home and then come for Easter to meet her new Granddaughter. My mom was going to stay with us the first 10 days to help. Again, MIL was super jealous. The minute DH called to let her know I was in labor, she booked a plane ticket to come here, without letting us know. DD and I got out of the hospital 48 hours later and within 45 minutes, MIL was standing on tour front porch with her suitcases and a surgical mask on. She comes busting in, grabs the baby from my arms and announces she can only stay until Sunday (it was a Thrusday) because she has to get home for an appointment with an infectious disease specialist because she's had a respiratory infection for so long and it seems to be antibiotic resistant. SIL is there and jumps into action, ushering her mother out the door, thank goodness. But not before MIL asks what the full name is. (She had only heard the first name from DH. She comments about how unusual the middle name is and asks where it comes from so I tell her it's my grandma's maiden name. Insert HUGE eye roll from her. DD is now 7 years old and we still hear about it every time we see MIL. MIL will tell DD "oh, you can have that necklace, bracelet, ring, after I die. Although I really shouldn't give it to you since you're not named after me...."
MIL is a piece of work. I could go on forever with stories about her. Needless to say, now that FIL has passed away, the trips home for DH are at a bare minimum.
My mom mentioned when we have kids I'll have to sell my snake otherwise it will eat them, because thats what snakes do. Apparently my kingsnake is a rabid anaconda in my moms eyes. Eyes were rolling hard.
So MIL comes back 2 weeks later for Easter, as we had planned all along. By now my DD is nearly 3 weeks old. DH has an unexpected business trip and leaves me home alone with his crazy ass mother. The first day she is with me, MIL decides that, based on the tone and pitch of my baby's farts, that her "anal ring" is too tight and I need to call the pediatrician. I put her off a bit but about 3 hours later, when it becomes clear I am dismissing her opinion and have no intention of calling the doctor, she becomes angry. She grabs her purse and demands I drive her to the drugstore so she can buy a "rubber finger" and stretch DD's anal ring herself. Again, I called SIL who concocted an excuse to get MIL the hell out of my house.
All I can say is Thank God for an awesome SIL who is willing to take the hits for me and keep MIL away from my house.
So MIL comes back 2 weeks later for Easter, as we had planned all along. By now my DD is nearly 3 weeks old. DH has an unexpected business trip and leaves me home alone with his crazy ass mother. The first day she is with me, MIL decides that, based on the tone and pitch of my baby's farts, that her "anal ring" is too tight and I need to call the pediatrician. I put her off a bit but about 3 hours later, when it becomes clear I am dismissing her opinion and have no intention of calling the doctor, she becomes angry. She grabs her purse and demands I drive her to the drugstore so she can buy a "rubber finger" and stretch DD's anal ring herself. Again, I called SIL who concocted an excuse to get MIL the hell out of my house.
All I can say is Thank God for an awesome SIL who is willing to take the hits for me and keep MIL away from my house.
So MIL comes back 2 weeks later for Easter, as we had planned all along. By now my DD is nearly 3 weeks old. DH has an unexpected business trip and leaves me home alone with his crazy ass mother. The first day she is with me, MIL decides that, based on the tone and pitch of my baby's farts, that her "anal ring" is too tight and I need to call the pediatrician. I put her off a bit but about 3 hours later, when it becomes clear I am dismissing her opinion and have no intention of calling the doctor, she becomes angry. She grabs her purse and demands I drive her to the drugstore so she can buy a "rubber finger" and stretch DD's anal ring herself. Again, I called SIL who concocted an excuse to get MIL the hell out of my house.
All I can say is Thank God for an awesome SIL who is willing to take the hits for me and keep MIL away from my house.
So MIL comes back 2 weeks later for Easter, as we had planned all along. By now my DD is nearly 3 weeks old. DH has an unexpected business trip and leaves me home alone with his crazy ass mother. The first day she is with me, MIL decides that, based on the tone and pitch of my baby's farts, that her "anal ring" is too tight and I need to call the pediatrician. I put her off a bit but about 3 hours later, when it becomes clear I am dismissing her opinion and have no intention of calling the doctor, she becomes angry. She grabs her purse and demands I drive her to the drugstore so she can buy a "rubber finger" and stretch DD's anal ring herself. Again, I called SIL who concocted an excuse to get MIL the hell out of my house.
All I can say is Thank God for an awesome SIL who is willing to take the hits for me and keep MIL away from my house.
we're having a family reunion in June. The dinner is going to be catered. Everyone has to pre-pay.
my cousin's kid is insisting that she'll just pay the day of the event. EVERYONE said, "No, you can't pay that day. We need a head count and you have to prepay like everyone else."
The girl went apeshit and started dropping f-bombs on our family FB page saying, "I don't even know most of you people! I'm not sending money to some person I don't even know!" (meaning my other cousin who is head of the committee).
Ugh, now I wish that other girl wasn't even coming at all if that's how she's going to be. jerk
So MIL comes back 2 weeks later for Easter, as we had planned all along. By now my DD is nearly 3 weeks old. DH has an unexpected business trip and leaves me home alone with his crazy ass mother. The first day she is with me, MIL decides that, based on the tone and pitch of my baby's farts, that her "anal ring" is too tight and I need to call the pediatrician. I put her off a bit but about 3 hours later, when it becomes clear I am dismissing her opinion and have no intention of calling the doctor, she becomes angry. She grabs her purse and demands I drive her to the drugstore so she can buy a "rubber finger" and stretch DD's anal ring herself. Again, I called SIL who concocted an excuse to get MIL the hell out of my house.
All I can say is Thank God for an awesome SIL who is willing to take the hits for me and keep MIL away from my house.