was there a flameful today?

[VeryViolet]

Apr 1, 2013 21:25:09 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Apr 1, 2013 21:17:56 GMT -5 VeryViolet said:

I want to give you a giant hug. I cannot tell you how often I have had the exact same thought. My latest is that I did this to my baby because I forced my body to do something it shouldn't do. It isn't true and you know that and so do I but I get not being able to control the dark thoughts.

Oh, this made me tear up. It sounds ridiculous when I'm not directing it at myself, which says something. You are doing everything you can for BOTH of your babies, and it's easy to see how much you love them. Hugs, violet.

Sorry Rex I didn't mean to make this about me I just wanted you to know you weren't alone in feeling that way. (((Hugs)))

[ndolehan]

Apr 1, 2013 21:04:22 GMT -5 @breebirdy said:

So. WRT all of this "second pregnancy" talk... I am genuinely curious about how post vag-birth sex feels.

I know it's uncomfortable for a while PP, but does it ever eventually feel the same PP as it did before?

If this is naive, I'm sorry, but I am curious.

It was never painful for me - but uncomfortable. Especially certain positions. To me, it felt like I still had stitches (I had a 3rd degree tear) and it felt like the stitches were "pulling". Not sure if that makes sense. 

We didn't have sex until 8wks PP, for me sex is better now than before baby. I think it was the way the OB sewed my stitches, or maybe my vag is more sensitive. However, my sex drive is waaayyy lower. 

[fuckyourcouch]

My flameful is that my H is pretty baby ready, but I keep telling him, anyone who asks, and myself that I'm not ready. But, in reality, I am so terrified of pregnancy and labor/delivery that even though I want a kid I can't do it.

Like, so terrified of it if I actually got pregnant unplanned or not I would probably have a breakdown, and I think I will need counseling to ever convince myself to do it. :/

[fuckyourcouch]

Oh, and I think it's flameful because of how many ladies here alone are dealing with infertility, and how obviously thousands of women have babies everyday. But I'm just over here being a terrified weirdo.

[mamasaurus]

Apr 1, 2013 19:28:23 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Apr 1, 2013 19:26:38 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

I love BOOTD and would go around liking every picture if people wouldn't think "who is this crazy lurker liking all the pictures of my kid?"

My husband had to talk me down yesterday from buying this adorable chevron baby romper (We don't even have kids).

I almost bought a quilt from Pottery Barn Kids for a girl quite a while ago.  Because, I'm psychic, apparently.

Wait, what? Did I miss something? Uh...congratulations?

[speckledfrog]

Apr 1, 2013 21:40:14 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Apr 1, 2013 21:36:02 GMT -5 fuckyourcouch said:

My flameful is that my H is pretty baby ready, but I keep telling him, anyone who asks, and myself that I'm not ready. But, in reality, I am so terrified of pregnancy and labor/delivery that even though I want a kid I can't do it.

Like, so terrified of it if I actually got pregnant unplanned or not I would probably have a breakdown, and I think I will need counseling to ever convince myself to do it. :/

It can be pretty scary when you think about it. But once I was doing it, it wasn't scary. Even stuff that maybe should have been scary wasn't at the time. Being pg was the best thing ever for my anxiety. Okay, I did get a little strung out towards the end when I felt like I would NEVER give birth. But other than that, it was pretty good.

I completely agree with this.  It sounds so much scarier when someone else is talking about it, but when it's you it's not as bad as you thought it would be.

[mamasaurus]

Water births are called "the aqaudural" for a reason. I barely felt the contractions in my back at all when I was in the water. I think taking a class geared toward unmedicated birth, like Bradley, is also really helpful. I only really struggled with the pain during transition, and it helped me so much to know that I was in it, and that I was about to be in the home stretch. I was in a much better mental place to deal with the pain because of that class. Even if you do want medication, I think it makes it easier if you aren't freaking out and wondering if your body is doing normal things or not the whole time.

Also, is it just me, or is TOTS being kind of a whiny bitch in this thread? You can't be asking for poor poodles and hair pets in the same thread where you tell everyone their kids aren't really cute.

[Deleted]

FYC, that's not flameful. Pregnancy/childbirth is really scary. But, I think you just kinda get over it once it happens. You have to, ya know? I really think if you want the end result (the kid!) the fear/pain/everything else is worth it, and you forget how weird it was pretty quickly.

[Deleted]

Vv and rex, I wish I could hug you both.

[eb777888]

Apr 1, 2013 22:18:07 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

FYC, that's not flameful. Pregnancy/childbirth is really scary. But, I think you just kinda get over it once it happens. You have to, ya know? I really think if you want the end result (the kid!) the fear/pain/everything else is worth it, and you forget how weird it was pretty quickly.

ITA. It was scary and I was very anxious but it's just one of those things that you decide to just throw caution to the wind and jump in and don't look back. It goes by fast and after I got over my first trimester shock, pregnancy was pretty easy for me.

[MrsAxilla]

All this talk of post-partum sex is why I was secretly happy with my emergency C last time and why I didn't consider VBAC for even one second. I won't risk losing amazing sex. I've naively convinced myself that 2 kids won't be THAT hard because they will be six years apart, so it will be like just having one again.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Apr 1, 2013 22:05:25 GMT -5 mamasaurus said:

Water births are called "the aqaudural" for a reason. I barely felt the contractions in my back at all when I was in the water. I think taking a class geared toward unmedicated birth, like Bradley, is also really helpful. I only really struggled with the pain during transition, and it helped me so much to know that I was in it, and that I was about to be in the home stretch. I was in a much better mental place to deal with the pain because of that class. Even if you do want medication, I think it makes it easier if you aren't freaking out and wondering if your body is doing normal things or not the whole time.

Also, is it just me, or is TOTS being kind of a whiny bitch in this thread? You can't be asking for poor poodles and hair pets in the same thread where you tell everyone their kids aren't really cute.

Believe me, I don't need a poor poodle or a hair pet, especially from you. I'm typing what came to mind. If anything, I'd say it is par for the course for me when it comes to my persona on here with the reaction I've had to my family and my friend. But go ahead and read into it what you want.

[speckledfrog]

Apr 1, 2013 22:38:08 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I just had phone sex. Don't worry, I didn't let him come directly into the phone. It's not serious.

::jizz hands::

FTFY

[sonrisa]

TOTS: it's funny because you say people care about their own kids more than others do as if that is a bad thing. Humans wouldn't survive otherwise.

We care more about our bosses,neighbors, dinners, mouse shoes, drinking and simple human trash cans, too. That hasn't stopped anyone yet.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Apr 1, 2013 22:40:29 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

TOTS: it's funny because you say people care about their own kids more than others do as if that is a bad thing. Kids wouldn't survive otherwise.

We care more about our bosses,neighbors, dinners, mouse shoes, and simple human trash cans, too. That never stopped anyone before.

Uh, what? Where did I say it was bad to care about your kids? I didn't. I think my kids are pretty damn special and spectacular, but I don't seek the external validation like people do here. I just don't think anyone needs to AW themselves or their kids every day. *shrug* And for the likes and similar sentiments I saw, I'm not alone.

[eb777888]

Apr 1, 2013 22:38:08 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I just had phone sex. Don't worry, I didn't let him come directly into the phone. It's not serious.

::jazz hands::

Yeah, not on the first phone call, anyway!

[joshlyman]

Apr 1, 2013 19:54:46 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Apr 1, 2013 19:51:02 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I generally consider myself to be kinda open-minded, but I'm having to come to terms with the fact that I am genuinely pearl-clutchy at how quickly people seem to go from one relationship to another. It's not even anyone in particular, it's just a pattern I've noticed on GBCN, across all the different boards.

I feel the same. Partly b/c it took me a looong time to get over my ex, we had been together for years. I couldn't even look at other guys while I was grieving. I know everyone is different and maybe it works for some but I was in no condition to date.

I mean my divorce is fresh as hell, but yeah, I get why they do it. I miss the companionship a lot. So if I wasn't in counseling and didn't KNOW that a relationship would be bad bad bad news right now, I totally could see jumping I to one. It would be for the wrong reasons, but I get it. I have promised myself a year though, and I know I need it. I won't promise that I won't have a one night stand in there somewhere though, cause dude. Sex. I miss it lol

My flameful that coincides with the above? I have totally browsed match to see what is out there, because I fear that I won't find anyone that has similar interests and beliefs in The current area I live in. Seeing that there are liberal atheists/agnostics in my area makes me feel secure somehow - like a future with someone with similar values is possible. I don't fit the typical mold of this area and that scares me.

[sonrisa]

Apr 1, 2013 22:44:22 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Apr 1, 2013 22:40:29 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

TOTS: it's funny because you say people care about their own kids more than others do as if that is a bad thing. Kids wouldn't survive otherwise.

We care more about our bosses,neighbors, dinners, mouse shoes, and simple human trash cans, too. That never stopped anyone before.

Uh, what? Where did I say it was bad to care about your kids? I didn't. I think my kids are pretty damn special and spectacular, but I don't seek the external validation like people do here. I just don't think anyone needs to AW themselves or their kids every day. *shrug* And for the likes and similar sentiments I saw, I'm not alone.

Eh. Maybe I misread your tone.


I also find it funny when people who didn't put much energy into their own education feel the need to home school their kids.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Apr 1, 2013 23:08:16 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Apr 1, 2013 22:44:22 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Uh, what? Where did I say it was bad to care about your kids? I didn't. I think my kids are pretty damn special and spectacular, but I don't seek the external validation like people do here. I just don't think anyone needs to AW themselves or their kids every day. *shrug* And for the likes and similar sentiments I saw, I'm not alone.

Eh. Maybe I misread your tone.


I also find it funny when people who didn't put much energy into their own education feel the need to home school their kids.

Yes. I could go on about this person, but it doesn't do any good. Let's just say, she has a child who is 5 that counts no higher than 10. It is disturbing that she isn't worried about it and wants to homeschool at the same time.