I don't care what they're talking about, so it means nothing that they're talking about it in a different language. That's me time anyway, and I don't want anyone to talk to me or even acknowledge that I exist beyond scraping the dead skin off the bottoms of my feet. If I understood them, I would know that they were saying "Jesus fucking Christ, look at this bitch's hooves! Does she not have a fucking foot file at her house? Look at this lap full of shit over here!" and I would maybe feel bad about myself. Also, I have two small people who are up my ass constantly, and when I get a pedicure, I don't want anyone talking to me. Sometimes I wear headphones.
I have been to several other countries. China, for example. I speak no Chinese. Is it rude for me and my family to converse with each other in English in front of people? Or at a table where some of the people speak only Chinese, some speak English and Chinese and some only English?
You do understand that I couldn't care less about this, right? I'm not trying to be a devil's advocate or anything. Etiquette has just been drilled into me since, like, birth. Lol, FWIW, my favorite lady that cuts my hair understands about zero English. She only communicates in Korean with the other stylists. And I have to pretty much act out what I want done to my hair. But I think she's fantastic, so what do I care? She's brilliant.
Yes, really. I'm on about my 4th beer and my brain is working slowly.
And I don't mean it as a whole "I have black friends", as you say. I'm saying I don't care if someone speaks another language in front of me. Hell, I live in NYC. A good chunk of people I interact with don't speak English. This has never bothered me. I think Americans are limited because we rely on everyone else to speak English, and I think it's a shame.
All I'm saying is that American etiquette states to keep it in English. Is it right? Maybe not. Probably not. Then again, a lot of etiquette rules were written a long time ago and have yet to evolve.
America has no official language.
America is made of immigrants.
There's no benefit in heeding "etiquette" of "a long time ago" unless you also believe in racial and gender inequality and endless other horrors.
Yes, really. I'm on about my 4th beer and my brain is working slowly.
And I don't mean it as a whole "I have black friends", as you say. I'm saying I don't care if someone speaks another language in front of me. Hell, I live in NYC. A good chunk of people I interact with don't speak English. This has never bothered me. I think Americans are limited because we rely on everyone else to speak English, and I think it's a shame.
All I'm saying is that American etiquette states to keep it in English. Is it right? Maybe not. Probably not. Then again, a lot of etiquette rules were written a long time ago and have yet to evolve.
It wasn't long ago that we had a slew of diversity training sessions at my company.
One session included a video that featured a group of people speaking Chinese at lunch. Next to that group was another group of non-Chinese speakers. The class was then asked whether it was rude that the Chinese speakers were speaking Chinese.
The responses in my class appalled me.
"Yes, it's absolutely rude because the people around them can't understand." "They should only speak English while at work." "What if they were talking about people? Then nobody would know."
It was truly amazing.
You can't force people to speak English, nor is it "poor etiquette" simply to speak another language when English-only speakers are present. Non-English speakers and/or polyglots have no duty to speak English simply because others around them only speak English.
Moreover, to prohibit the speaking of another language simply because others don't understand that language is arguably discriminatory to those non-English speakers.
There's no benefit in heeding "etiquette" of "a long time ago" unless you also believe in racial and gender inequality and endless other horrors.
True enough, though English is the de facto national language.
And no, I do not believe in racial or gender inequality. I'm just regurgitating etiquette rules that other Americans have deemed "law".\
Like this.. NYT article from 1997 (not all that long ago, but long enough)
"Consider the elevator. You are heading to the laundry room with your curious 2-year-old, who points to a woman in hot pink shorts and asks loudly, ''What color are her shorts, Mom?'' But in Spanish.
What to do? Answer the child in Spanish and the lady in pink may turn red? Attempt simultaneous translation for everybody? Or pretend you did not hear and hope the elevator gets to the basement soon?
It depends. To be polite, etiquette experts say, translate the child's question, answer it out loud and hope Hot Pants will chuckle. To be really nice, explain that your child is learning colors and, even more generous, throw in a comment about how you want him to be bilingual, which is why he is learning Spanish at home first. By the time you reach the basement, you should be exhausted.
Being polite is hard work.
''Nobody said it would be easier,'' said Lietty Pubillones, who runs the International Etiquette School of America in Coral Gables, Fla. ''Behaving well is never easy. But to get along, we must learn some basic dos and don'ts.''
Ms. Pubillones's advice: Try to speak the language of the country you are in. Be tolerant of those who cannot speak your language."
Yeah, but the kid was pointing at the lady so clearly she knew she was being talked about. This is not at all the same as the kid asking his mom what time it is (or some other completely innocuous question having nothing to do with the other occupant) and her answering him in Spanish.
It would be rude if the manicurists at the salon were pointing at customers in a way that made it clear the customers were being talked about. It is not rude if they are just passing the time at work chatting about what movie they saw last night.
Then why continue defending something you don't believe?
I speak English, Spanish, Mandarin, and Taiwanese. I grew up with all but Spanish, although arguably I grew up with that, too, because of my babysitter.
Be tolerant of those who cannot speak your language. Do not ask people where they are from the moment you hear an accent. Refrain from asking people with unusual names, ''What kind of a name is that?'
I have been going to the same nail salon for awhile now. They always speak to each other in Vietnamese. This doesn't bother me. I have never really given it much thought.
Today, there was a new guy who did my manicure. He kept translating the conversations happening around us and apologizing. He said he thinks it is very rude to speak in Vietnamese when the clients do not speak the language.i told him it was fine and he did not need to continue translating their conversations. Anytime he was addressed, he answered in English.
He told me he has a job interview in two weeks at a salon where they only speak English. He also said it was much more "upscale", which kind of made me feel like a loser lol.
So what is your experience with this?
Locally, there's a pecking order of nail salons based on language in terms of price and experience. It's creepy. My niece, who works with a human rights organization, claims that some of the Chinese, Laos and Indonesian salons participate in human trafficking.
Where I live the cheapest mani/pedi is at the Chinese salon- it's large, loud and only the male receptionist speaks English. They also cut their polish with thinner which gives a crappy finish.
The highest priced salon is the trendy spa one that is used as a training position for recent esthetician/stylist grads. It's nice but crazy expensive. They have a mix of people.
Between that there's a Russian lady at my stylist's old place who has a couple of middle aged Russian ladies who work with her. They do nice work, but push the glitzy stuff.
I usually go to the Korean place. It's a spotless but no-frills experience. They're middle of the pack price-wise and have a couple young women who are part time college students. They've largely grown up here and are very chatty and personable. The one I used to always see was great for recommendations for restaurants of all kinds and instructors at DS's school. She has graduated and is a nurse now.
I think the real issue could be that if they're talking amongst themselves (in whatever language) then they're not focusing on the customer.
But nail salons can get away with this. It's such a straightforward service I guess. Show me the color you want and how short you want your nails.
I own hair salons and I'd be pissed if my stylists were talking to each other and not the customers, but hair is a whole different ballgame. I also go to a Vietnamese nail salon where they talk to each other in Vietnamese. Doesn't bother me one bit.
It bothers me. I hate that someone is performing a job and having a social/personal conversation while they do it. This is not a coffee shop or someone's living room - it is your place of employment. This person is facing you, doing their job. Speaking in any language is rude if the conversation is not primarily between the manicurist and the customer. I don't care that you and Mary are upset that Suzy wore a black dress to a baptism and I sure as fuck don't want to hear about it when I'm having my nails done - even when I can't understand it.
I'd say the same thing about cashiers, accountants, Queens of England, rock stars or bank tellers. I don't sit across from clients reviewing documents and continue to chat on with an assistant about the weather and weekend plans. RUDE.
I thought I could come in here and tell you all about how I'm sure I'm going to get MRSA from my nail salon, but I can't quit it b/c it's so cheap.
Apparently, it's not that kind of thread.
I don't think it's rude when the nail techs chat amongst themselves in a different language. I do think it's rude when they pester me about why I'm living with my boyfriend if I'm not married, or why I don't have kids yet. I find that WAY more offensive.
Also, it's really gross.
I should go elsewhere. But it's so cheap. I can get a manicure/pedicure/eyebrow wax for $45. You can't beat that. And I have good insurance, so my MRSA will just be a $20 copay....
I actually kind of like going to a salon where the person doing my pedicure speaks limited English and is chatting away with his/her co-workers, I go to get a pedicure to relax, read my trash magazines, and keep to myself, I hate it when a nail technician tries to get real chatty with me. The nail salon is just not a place where I go to engage in socializing, same with getting a massage, I'm there to relax and decompress.
It bothers me. I hate that someone is performing a job and having a social/personal conversation while they do it. This is not a coffee shop or someone's living room - it is your place of employment. This person is facing you, doing their job. Speaking in any language is rude if the conversation is not primarily between the manicurist and the customer. I don't care that you and Mary are upset that Suzy wore a black dress to a baptism and I sure as fuck don't want to hear about it when I'm having my nails done - even when I can't understand it.
I'd say the same thing about cashiers, accountants, Queens of England, rock stars or bank tellers. I don't sit across from clients reviewing documents and continue to chat on with an assistant about the weather and weekend plans. RUDE.
I totally agree with this. It's not a language issue to me, it's a service issue. If I'm getting a massage, my hair cut, or my nails done, it doesn't matter... The tech is providing a personal service and should be focused on you, not chatting with co-workers, regardless of the language in which the chatting is occurring. In my opinion, if the client doesn't want to chat, the tech should be respectful and keep personal conversation at a minimum.
I thought I could come in here and tell you all about how I'm sure I'm going to get MRSA from my nail salon, but I can't quit it b/c it's so cheap.
Apparently, it's not that kind of thread.
I don't think it's rude when the nail techs chat amongst themselves in a different language. I do think it's rude when they pester me about why I'm living with my boyfriend if I'm not married, or why I don't have kids yet. I find that WAY more offensive.
Also, it's really gross.
I should go elsewhere. But it's so cheap. I can get a manicure/pedicure/eyebrow wax for $45. You can't beat that. And I have good insurance, so my MRSA will just be a $20 copay....
I was coming in to have this discussion too. I don't care what language my nail person speaks in as long as they don't try and chat me up too much. And for people who think it is rude please examine the fact that you are paying $20 plus tip for someone to rub your nasty feet. For that I would talk loudly about you in English.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Apr 3, 2013 8:55:28 GMT -5
i don't care what language my nail techs speak. i don't care if they talk to each other as long as my nails look good. i do really like my salon and the ladies (and gent) there though, so i guess i sort of care because i think they are all very nice people and enjoy chatting with them about whatever topic when they do talk to me instead of each other.
but, i do think it's sort of rude to talk to each other constantly (in any language) if it means service is not up to par. but, i have never worked in a service industry, only customer service and scientific roles, so all i have to base my opinion on is that it would have been a huge no-no to chat away with my coworker at bed bath & beyond while ringing up purchases and not conversing with the customer.
I would like it, however, if they'd offer me the potato chips they're always munching on. Is it rude that they're not sharing their snacks? Should I bring them snacks and hope for a snack swap?
I am so going to need to get several digits amputated.
I would like it, however, if they'd offer me the potato chips they're always munching on. Is it rude that they're not sharing their snacks? Should I bring them snacks and hope for a snack swap?
I am so going to need to get several digits amputated.
I'll play devil's advocate here... from a service provider's perspective, I have it ingrained in me to not have casual conversations with coworkers while I have a guest. It is rude, and pretty much goes against everything you are taught in ANY customer service driven industry. If the guest doesn't want to talk, then you provide the service silently and do the job you are being paid and hopefully TIPPED to do.
Obviously I'm a little biased, but language barrier or not, it grates on my last nerve when service providers are rude. Don't even get me started about the lady who did my pedicure on Saturday who talked on her fucking cell phone half the time she was doing my pedicure. Needless to say I won't go back there, and I did NOT tip her (which I never do).