therapy is really fucking hard.

[saraandmichael]

I am sure this is a glaringly obvious statement, but I have never stuck it out when it gets tough like this. I had a bit of a panic attack on my way there and wanted to cancel the appointment all day. I didn't...but I really wanted to.

At my appointment last week we decided that in order for me to really get through this that I need to deal with the actual abuse, which entails remembering all of the things that make me feel scared and sad and nervous and full of rage. Which, you know, fucking sucks. But I know that I have to deal with these things in order to get through it.

However, an unanticipated effect has been that I am remembering things that happened to me that I wasn't aware of before. And they come into my brain at the worst times (ok, its not like there is actually a good time) and they are confusing and overwhelming and I just feel myself saying "nope! I'm good! no more therapy needed!" and then just running away from the reality of it all.

[mskitkat]

*hugs*

[underwaterrhymes]

Oh, sara.

I'm so sorry that that fucking shithead asshole did this to you. I'm constantly amazed by your strength and your courage, as well as your grace. You do so much for your family and friends and now you are giving yourself a gift of healing, although it may not feel like it yet.

That doesn't make it easy, though. Sending big hugs. If there's anything I can do, let me know.

[Deleted]

That must be incredibly difficult. I hope you are able to heal as a result. Hugs.

[snipsnsnails]

(((sara)))

[speckledfrog]

You're a strong lady, sara, even when you think you aren't. ((sara))

[papie]

I am so sorry Sara. I hope this helps you with everything.

[alzi]

I can't even fathom how hard this is. But I am sure it will be worth it in the long run.

I'm here if you need me/ anything.

[sonrisa]

Big hugs.

[Muddled]

I know this will be a case of hard work equals big rewards. You are doing great, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

[5hole]

You are incredibly brave and strong to be tackling this. I'm sorry that you have to, but you are an inspiring woman. Your son is lucky to have you for a mother and role model.

[roadbananas]

Everything that is hard in life gets worse before it gets better.

You will get through the rough period of your sessions and come out so much better. Therapy isn't easy and I cannot imagine what it is like in your situation. It's so easy to turn around and cancel (I've done it SO many times with so many excuses), but just keep going.  I am so sorry for all you went through. No one should ever have to go through that.

Hang in there!

[walterismydog]

((((sara))))
You've got this, sister.

[Deleted]

((hugs)), has your therapist given you any coping mechanisms for what to do when you remember things?

[MWOS]

((Sara))

[HiC]

((((((hughughughughug)))))

[lime]

((( Big hugs )))

Yes, it's hard as hell.

After you get through this, you will pretty much be able to get through anything, right?

[joshlyman]

((Hugs))

I have canceled appts many times - but it seems finally get through it is a huge relief in the end.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. (hug) (hug2)

[Captain Serious]

I'm sorry that it is so hard. Please know that it will be worth it if you keep going. And I'm sure you know, you can come here for support anytime you aren't sure you can make it to your appointment. Everyone here wants what's best for you.

[softspot]

((sara)) I'm so sorry.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Hey, keep at it. I want my friend to start healing, ok? And you better know you can call or text me whenever you feel you need someone to listen or talk. You hear?

[kaybee85]

I'm sorry . Good for you for following through, even though it is hard. I hope you find peace through it eventually. Hugs

[saraandmichael]

Apr 3, 2013 20:59:55 GMT -5 @juliash said:

((hugs)), has your therapist given you any coping mechanisms for what to do when you remember things?

yes. we talked about getting a small notebook and writing them down to get them out of my head and then bringing it along to my appointments to talk and get them out verbally. it sounds simple and silly, but i think it will work for me.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2013 21:30:44 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

Apr 3, 2013 20:59:55 GMT -5 @juliash said:

((hugs)), has your therapist given you any coping mechanisms for what to do when you remember things?

yes. we talked about getting a small notebook and writing them down to get them out of my head and then bringing it along to my appointments to talk and get them out verbally. it sounds simple and silly, but i think it will work for me.

I think that is a great idea. Writing things down for me gets them out of my thoughts.

You're amazing. Stay strong, 

[angelaa73]

sara you continue to be so inspiring. i know you don't believe me, you bitch! but look at you. you're really the best

[anlo]

I can't imagine how hard it is. I think it goes to show how amazingly strong you really are. You can do this.

((((hugs)))))

[saraandmichael]

i know that i have to keep going. i have quit a few times in the past when i've gotten to this point. i told my therapist that i didnt want to come today, but that i made myself anyway. and i was glad that i did and was able to keep my head together and actually go.

[Deleted]

Hang in there, sara.

Much love to you.

[pantsparty]

I'm so sorry - huge hugs to you.