It sounds to me like the bump on your husband's head has done neurological damage and he needs to see a physician ASAP. He could have several very scary things going on in his brain right now and this needs to be investigated.
My husband is exasperating a whole lot of the time, but make no mistake, I love him dearly. I have to lose my crap on him at least quarterly to keep him in line because he didn't have an active father in his life that wasn't a self-absorbed, misogynistic, unfaithful dickface whose mama and wives always did everything for him. He has made great strides recently because he finally admitted to me that he doesn't know HOW to be a good husband and father because he's never had that example. Likewise, I only know how to be a good mom because my mom's relationship is not hetero and I don't subscribe to traditional gender roles because of that, so I don't know how to be a wife. This is something we are working on together, and I think you guys just need to break it all down and lay it out there. Tell him exactly what you need from him and the consequences if you don't get that no matter how silly he thinks it is (insert his eyes rolling) and hold his feet to the fire. My husband didn't understand that I was about to file for divorce if he didn't get on board and now he understands that he almost lost me because of his own actions. I also realized that I needed to communicate with him in a manner he understands and let him know the consequences. Instead of beating around the bush, I told him in very simple sentences what I expected of him and if that didn't happen, I was moving out and taking the girls with me.
I'm not saying my method is for you or that my marriage is sunshine and roses now, but we're working toward a common goal and something has to give for you. You cannot keep living like that.