Nothing flame worthy here but: I'm sad about not pumping at work on Monday, not because it means I'm starting to wean, but because I won't have time to probe during the day. I'm sure you can all relate to my sadness!
I'm excited about all this squishy baby-ness because I can live vicariously through you without having another baby!
I have been thinking more and more about being one and done. My husband thinks that I am being stupid and selfish. But, I will still be able to have a full and rewarding work life with one. I don't know if that would be true with another.
*I am sure I will have another. But right now I can't even imagine it.*
Post by rainbowchip on Apr 26, 2013 7:33:36 GMT -5
My friend's parents own their own business and the whole family works for this business. My friend's husband works their FT and my friend helps out and is also on the board but she mostly SAH. They have a very large very nice house, new cars, and have their kids in all these extra activities. They are not hurting for money at all. I don't know how they do it with her SAH but I know I will never be able to afford the things they do and I am super jealous.
Post by SteelCity44 on Apr 26, 2013 7:40:33 GMT -5
I cried yesterday while watching my child play because he was being so freaking adorble, I couldn't emotionally handle it anymore.
I cannot even open the birth story threads. I tried ONE thread, and instantly started having a panic attack. I'm not sure how I'll ever handle the thought of going through labor again if we're blessed with another child. I don't know how you premie moms had a second kid, and my kid wasn't even an extreme case.
I'm excited about all this squishy baby-ness because I can live vicariously through you without having another baby!
I have been thinking more and more about being one and done. My husband thinks that I am being stupid and selfish. But, I will still be able to have a full and rewarding work life with one. I don't know if that would be true with another.
*I am sure I will have another. But right now I can't even imagine it.*
I was SO one and done, then I wasn't, now I am again. I have spent a lot of time thining about it and am finally comfortable with my (our) decision. I used to get sand in my vagina when people made comments about one and done, but now it doesn't bother me. I've read a lot about it and I really like the OaD board on TB. It's our decision and what works for us. If I was younger, this may be a totally different story but I have accepted it 100%.
Post by kemangel124 on Apr 26, 2013 8:02:49 GMT -5
My confession:
Since I have intro'd myself on here, I haven't really been working AT ALL!!! I am solely using my computer at work to read PB. I think I may have a problem? Is there a PBA for this? (PB anonymous) And then to top everything off, as if I wasn't focusing enough on my work, when reading the UO thread yesterday, someone said something about an ML board. CRAP! Now I have to read that one too...Summer cannot come quick enough. I need to figure out a way to moderate myself. I feel like I am on here WAY too much (even if I don't post on everything, I am reading it ALL)!
I'm so jealous of all you baby making slores! I almost have E convinced that we need a third and then I wonder if I am psychotic....
This is me. I swear the only reason I want a third is because of you slores getting knocked up. Then I do things like try to take them shopping and I say no fucking way can I have another. I would like to get off the rollercoaster. Last night I fed my children a delicious dinner of pizza rolls with broccoli and carrots and Cuties for dessert. Today we are having lunch at Sam's Club cause they are having a massive sampling event. Wooo free!
A few nights ago, Jamie had pizza bagels and a veggie burger I defrosted for dinner. And cookies for dessert.
Some days I see the FB statuses of a college friend who's getting a graduate degree in history at Oxford and I'm so jealous and wish I was doing that instead.
Most of the time I think it would be easier to be a single mom. Dh is harder than my child. He's such a demanding, spoiled, entitled baby. Uggggg
Can we please talk about this phenomenon some? I feel like a lot of women on the board have this complaint about their husbands. I would honestly flip my shit if my husband were like this.
I cried yesterday while watching my child play because he was being so freaking adorble, I couldn't emotionally handle it anymore.
I cannot even open the birth story threads. I tried ONE thread, and instantly started having a panic attack. I'm not sure how I'll ever handle the thought of going through labor again if we're blessed with another child. I don't know how you premie moms had a second kid, and my kid wasn't even an extreme case.
There's a reason there is almost a 5 year difference between my kids.
It is possible for preemie moms to have PTSD, so if the thought of labor is giving you panic attacks, you might want to consider talking to a counselor about it.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Apr 26, 2013 8:43:31 GMT -5
I'm going to have to agree with this husband stuff. Ladies, my dear friend Oprah taught me that you teach people how to treat you. I think it's ridiculous that so many men on this board are happy to go through life without helping their wives more but I also think that the women need to really communicate what they need. I don't ask my husband for things, I TELL him when I'm running out of steam and need a break.
If you haven't slept in ever please TELL your husband that he is waking up with the baby every Saturday morning from now until the end of time. He is equally the parent to your baby. He needs to do as much as he can! Many dads aren't around enough to do 50% of the work so IMO he needs to more than make up for it when he's free on the weekends.
This board makes me appreciate the shit out of my husband. But, I also wouldn't be able to put up with anything less.
Mamas, YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are amazing women. TELL YOUR HUSBANDS WHAT YOU NEED!
I'm going to have to agree with this husband stuff. Ladies, my dear friend Oprah taught me that you teach people how to treat you. I think it's ridiculous that so many men on this board are happy to go through life without helping their wives more but I also think that the women need to really communicate what they need. I don't ask my husband for things, I TELL him when I'm running out of steam and need a break.
If you haven't slept in ever please TELL your husband that he is waking up with the baby every Saturday morning from now until the end of time. He is equally the parent to your baby. He needs to do as much as he can! Many dads aren't around enough to do 50% of the work so IMO he needs to more than make up for it when he's free on the weekends.
This board makes me appreciate the shit out of my husband. But, I also wouldn't be able to put up with anything less.
Mamas, YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are amazing women. TELL YOUR HUSBANDS WHAT YOU NEED!
Thank you for writing this! I hate hearing about how husbands aren't helping. Sometimes I do think the wives aren't asking though, mainly because I don't know how I husband could say no to helping with their own child all the time.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Apr 26, 2013 8:48:28 GMT -5
And I guess my FFFC is related to my above rant- I fucking LOVE Oprah. But you guys already knew that. I sometimes get very sad that Oprah isn't on anymore (yea, yea, she has the OWN network, but I'll be the first to say that it pretty much sucks). I was too young to appreciate most of her wisdom. Oprah! I neeeeeed you now!
I agree! I have said this before also! And think of it this way....you are modeling to your children. If you let yourself be walked over, so will they. If you let the men get away with being lazy parents and husbands, your sons will think that's ok. And it's NOT!!
Make yourself be treated how you want your daughter treated or how you want your son to treat his spouse!
I'm going to have to agree with this husband stuff. Ladies, my dear friend Oprah taught me that you teach people how to treat you. I think it's ridiculous that so many men on this board are happy to go through life without helping their wives more but I also think that the women need to really communicate what they need. I don't ask my husband for things, I TELL him when I'm running out of steam and need a break.
If you haven't slept in ever please TELL your husband that he is waking up with the baby every Saturday morning from now until the end of time. He is equally the parent to your baby. He needs to do as much as he can! Many dads aren't around enough to do 50% of the work so IMO he needs to more than make up for it when he's free on the weekends.
This board makes me appreciate the shit out of my husband. But, I also wouldn't be able to put up with anything less.
Mamas, YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are amazing women. TELL YOUR HUSBANDS WHAT YOU NEED!
This! I don;t get the sleep in thing at all when I see people mention it. I told DH that I get up one weekend day, he gets up the other. I even let him pick which day he wanted since I am nice I don;t understand what would happen if you ladies just said that? Would he say no? Kick him in the balls if that is his answer. And those who say "he won;t wake up" whatever, its true that 99% of the time on my sleep in day I wake up first even though the monitor is on DH's side and super low (DH doesn't hear the baby until he is full on freaking out) but I give him a sharp elbow, say "get up!" and pop my earplugs in. Done.
So is it that these DHs are dicks/refuse to do it, or that perhaps the communication is just not there?
I'm going to have to agree with this husband stuff. Ladies, my dear friend Oprah taught me that you teach people how to treat you. I think it's ridiculous that so many men on this board are happy to go through life without helping their wives more but I also think that the women need to really communicate what they need. I don't ask my husband for things, I TELL him when I'm running out of steam and need a break.
If you haven't slept in ever please TELL your husband that he is waking up with the baby every Saturday morning from now until the end of time. He is equally the parent to your baby. He needs to do as much as he can! Many dads aren't around enough to do 50% of the work so IMO he needs to more than make up for it when he's free on the weekends.
This board makes me appreciate the shit out of my husband. But, I also wouldn't be able to put up with anything less.
Mamas, YOU DESERVE BETTER! You are amazing women. TELL YOUR HUSBANDS WHAT YOU NEED!
And just because your DH's do it differently, it's not wrong! Let them make mistakes and figure it out! They will become more confident in themselves and more willing to step up more!
Lady wood for TrudyCampbell. Also, the "my H works while I SAH so I don't ask him to get up" is sad to me. He signed up to be a parent too so he needs to take part in the responsibilities. That means waking up when you don't want to
Yea, I'm a SAHM and my husband sees it that I work 100% of the time and he only works 50 hours a week or whatever. He often reminds me on the weekend to "take my day off" and go shopping or get my nails done or even just go for a walk by myself. Just because your husband earns money doesn't mean he gets a free pass from parenting.
Lady wood for TrudyCampbell. Also, the "my H works while I SAH so I don't ask him to get up" is sad to me. He signed up to be a parent too so he needs to take part in the responsibilities. That means waking up when you don't want to
Before Ada was even born I told DH that every Saturday he would be waking up with here and I will take Sundays. We only break that pact when we are traveling. It seriously saved my sanity the first few months.
I think it's very easy for people to pretend to internet strangers that their lyfe is perfect and their husbands are perfect and not give any real advice to some ladies that may not have "perfect husbands". So, I applaud you, Trudy, for saying that because it really boils down to communication. Kicking your husband in the balls does nothing. Telling him you need this or he has to do this or you expect this is how you get what you want/need. TELL HIM....and don't be afraid to. The worst he can do is get really mad or leave or both....either way, you have to open those lines of communication. This was very hard for me because I can sit and stew in things for years.