WTF Post

[anlo]

Okay, so mine is not as good as yours, but...wtf, Jimmy Johns? Why is it that I can add bacon to my slim 4, but not avocado? That's not cool, man.

[cleo29]

While I think it is awesome that they would want to adopt a child with special needs, I don't think you should expect people to make that happen for you. I don't know, it's just strange. And with seven kids already, have they thought about the financial planning they will have to do long-term for her care?

[Deleted]

SMH wtf is wrong with people

[lmbml]

The funny part about that adoption thing is that Sami is McKmama's BFF.

[anlo]

I know someone irl who says that she and her H are not going to have any more biological children because (paraphrasing here) someday God is going to bring them a little Downs Syndrome baby that nobody wants and they're going to adopt. :-#

[fryjack2]

WTF am I on the computer with People's Court on in the background? I have a million things to do and should be doing them now that my boys are down for a nap.

Also, wtf does it take the sandwich shop downstairs 20 minutes to make a damn sandwich? PB&J should take 3 minutes tops.

[cleo29]

Also, if they always knew this was something they wanted, why didn't they do it before having SEVEN children?

[Deleted]

I'm not usually one to take issue with posting pictures of kids on Facebook, but they have no legal relationship to Ava at this point, right? And yet, there's her picture on the blog. Do they even know anything about her other than what was in her adoption listing? I am so squicked out about this.

[gretchenindisguise]

I couldn't have afforded to adopt L if it cost $30,000, but I think we're doing decent by her regardless.

Please note: this is not a ringing endorsement of this couple adopting, I just dislike the "if you can't afford exorbitant adoption fees, you can't afford to parent" nonsense.

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[Deleted]

I just read the blog and they really bug me. I don't have an issue with adoption fundraising, but the way they saw her picture and just "knew" and NOW need to raise $31k to "save" this specific child is just weird. And if they have no/little money, then why the hell were they only looking at photolistings of children available in other countries? I think this is a family who is choosing a really expensive route to adoption because it's trendy.

There are thousands of special needs children in the US that need to be adopted, and guess what? The adoption fees are $0. A special needs child from the US even gets Medicaid until they turn 18 and the state usually pays attorneys fees for finalization. The reason for this is because it's soooooo freaking hard to find homes for special needs kids. If this family really has a heart for adopting a special needs child, they could be caring for a child in their home RIGHT NOW and at no cost instead of selling t-shirts so they can travel to freaking China.

[lilybug]

Apr 29, 2013 13:28:45 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

And lack the foresight to even begin saving for this, even though you've apparently been perusing Facebook (and wtf, Facebook -- adoption agencies just willy-nilly posting photos of orphaned children, like shelters do with fucking cats?) forever looking for a child to adopt?

This is the most WTF part for me. If you're called toward adoption, wonderful. Awesome. Start saving up and planning and getting in contact with an agency. But "liking" adoption pages on FB and then, "Ooh, ooh! Look at that one! I want it!" Puke.

[fryjack2]

Apr 29, 2013 13:33:44 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

Apr 29, 2013 13:22:45 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I'm just thinking, if you cannot afford the adoption fees for this kid, can you afford the kid?

I feel this way too especially if you have a lot of other kids to care for and finance too.

Won't they be able to file for SSI or some kind of government help for having a special needs child? 

[Deleted]

WTF life? I get to a happy point and you throw me a curveball. You've taken the wind out of my sails today and I don't like ti one bit.

[cleo29]

Apr 29, 2013 13:28:20 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I couldn't have afforded to adopt L if it cost $30,000, but I think we're doing decent by her regardless.

Please note: this is not a ringing endorsement of this couple adopting, I just dislike the "if you can't afford exorbitant adoption fees, you can't afford to parent" nonsense.

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That's not my point, a special needs child will need financial support for their life and that takes planning and saving on the part of the parents. My SIL has a trust set up in place for a time when H's parents will no longer be able to care for her at their house and she will need to live in a group home.

I think it is these things, plus some of the health issues that can come with special needs kids, that we are talking about, not the basic money needed for raising a child.

[gretchenindisguise]

Apr 29, 2013 13:32:19 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

Apr 29, 2013 13:23:41 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

  Fifty two hours.

  Oh, I'd be pissed.  ((hugs)) I am pulling for you guys.

My awesome for today: the psych just left and says he'll see what he can do about the bipolar diagnosis!

Yay!!

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[VeryViolet]

I have a fb friend, a girl I went to high school with and has since become very religious, she and her husband have adopted special needs children from overseas. Each time they did the fb pleas for money for the adoption with a lot of "we will trust in HIM and HE will provide" posts. I was a little "that is weird and not what I would do" about it but also thought good for them because that is a lot to take on. I reached truly WTF when I got a desperate fb message pleading for money to get home when they were in the country to adopt. How do you get all the way there and have no way to get home?

[Deleted]

Apr 29, 2013 13:41:00 GMT -5 VeryViolet said:

I reached truly WTF when I got a desperate fb message pleading for money to get home when they were in the country to adopt. How do you get all the way there and have no way to get home?

HA HA HA HA!!!  People are so freaking crazy.

[Captain Serious]

A lot of people cannot afford to adopt internationally, but can most definitely afford to raise the children in question.

I don't like how they went about it, if their decision was as impulsive as it is described, but as we've discussed before, there are a lot of people who raise money to afford adoptions. Especially in the case of adopting children with special needs, this is a fairly common thing. Reeses' Rainbow, for example, is set up not only to showcase children with special needs who are available for adoption, it is designed as a clearinghouse for donations to help families adopt those children. You can give to a general fund, to funds for specific children, or even sponsor specific children--all in the name of getting these kids into homes with families who can love and better attend to their medical needs. It isn't easy to shell out $40,000-$80,000 for the adoption alone, when you know that you will be paying a lot for medical expenses through the child's life.

[fluffaluff]

I don't really get what the big deal is. States have sites with pictures up of children awaiting adoption and a lot of times those pics are the first thing that catches people's eyes and what they fall in love with. Very few people who have a desire to adopt have upwards of 30 or 40K at their disposal, so people raise funds for adoptions all.the.time. I don't find anything wrong with that. Whether its selling t-shirts, cookies, jewelry..whatever. I had a friend do the same thing for her Ethiopian adoption. No big deal.

[circa1978]

That woman wants to be Kelle Hampton in the worst way. Literally.

[fuckyourcouch]

here is my WTF:
my supervisor asked me to collect all the consultant schedules (10-15 people) and enter all of their calendars in the sales tracking software system we use, including vacation days, support days, travel, etc. for the next 4-5 months.
i don't have admin rights (you can only edit your own schedule) so i told him this, and suggested he just ask everyone to enter their own schedules, problem solved.
he said he "just wants it done" so i need to find out how to get admin rights to do it.
the part that REALLY pisses me off is i am the only female consultant, this is not the first time i have basically been asked to be everyone's secretary, and suggesting everyone enter their own shit is too much to ask, but it's not to ask me to do it FOR EVERYONE?
fuck off!

[Captain Serious]

Apr 29, 2013 13:43:29 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

Apr 29, 2013 13:39:36 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Yay!!

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We got über lucky and got someone that actually saw Forrest last summer when the diagnosis was made. He said we made a compelling case for it not being bipolar, he actually remembers being impressed with how well Forrest managed his diabetes, remembers Forrest teaching the nurses about diabetes care and insulin dosing, and said he's going to the department head to see what they can do. 

::happy dance::

Awesome!

[lilybug]

When Christians say "He will provide," they usually mean that God will provide opportunities. Not, God will provide facebook friends to fund your every whim. It makes me squicky when people use that phrase this way. Like my friend who was "called by the Lord" to sell 31 bags, and makes it her life's sole mission to recruit her friends into her scheme / sell her products by religiously guilt tripping you.

[gretchenindisguise]

Apr 29, 2013 13:43:29 GMT -5 squirrelymom said:

Apr 29, 2013 13:39:36 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Yay!!

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We got über lucky and got someone that actually saw Forrest last summer when the diagnosis was made. He said we made a compelling case for it not being bipolar, he actually remembers being impressed with how well Forrest managed his diabetes, remembers Forrest teaching the nurses about diabetes care and insulin dosing, and said he's going to the department head to see what they can do. 

::happy dance::

This is great. I hope he can write a good report that will be placed above all of the other records.

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[sneetch]

The way these people went about selecting this child seems so wrong. I am sure they haven't given much thought to the long-term needs of someone with special needs. She's not going to be an adorable baby forever, and I would hope they are prepared for that.

fuckyourcouch - I would be so pissed.

[Captain Serious]

Apr 29, 2013 13:32:29 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

I just read the blog and they really bug me. I don't have an issue with adoption fundraising, but the way they saw her picture and just "knew" and NOW need to raise $31k to "save" this specific child is just weird. And if they have no/little money, then why the hell were they only looking at photolistings of children available in other countries? I think this is a family who is choosing a really expensive route to adoption because it's trendy.

There are thousands of special needs children in the US that need to be adopted, and guess what? The adoption fees are $0. A special needs child from the US even gets Medicaid until they turn 18 and the state usually pays attorneys fees for finalization. The reason for this is because it's soooooo freaking hard to find homes for special needs kids. If this family really has a heart for adopting a special needs child, they could be caring for a child in their home RIGHT NOW and at no cost instead of selling t-shirts so they can travel to freaking China.

I get that your point is that there are children in need who wouldn't have required the family to go begging to their FB friends in order to complete the adoption, but this still rubs me the wrong way.  The children in other countries are just as needy, arguably even more so, as many other governments can't adequately provide for the medical needs for children in the system (unlike the US).

Many people who adopt older children (and by that I just mean not an infant) DO feel drawn to a particular country/region or even a particular child.  That doesn't make their motives any less valid.

[wkatie]

WTF, indeed.

Plus, it is Down Syndrome, not Downs Syndrome. That always bugs me.

[lissaholly]

See, I just did the math. And I am pretty sure HER math doesn't include one cent from her. So basically they want to adopt a special needs child from another country and don't want to spend one red cent doing it;(.

WTF me! I rushed the kids out the door to the doctors, only to be told the appointment is NEXT Monday! Then I drove to The target with the better selection ( out of the way). To exchange DD's birthday present, only to realize that the gift receipt was for Toys R Us. I forgot coffee this a.m., I am useless.

[chickadee77]

Apr 29, 2013 13:28:20 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I couldn't have afforded to adopt L if it cost $30,000, but I think we're doing decent by her regardless.

Please note: this is not a ringing endorsement of this couple adopting, I just dislike the "if you can't afford exorbitant adoption fees, you can't afford to parent" nonsense.

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Someone may have already pointed this out, but frequently with DS come additional costs due to the physical issues (heart, kidney, etc.). It's not just mental issues involved, most typically. Not being snarky, just pointing out what a lot of people don't realize about the condition.

[fuckyourcouch]

Apr 29, 2013 13:48:15 GMT -5 sneetch said:

The way these people went about selecting this child seems so wrong. I am sure they haven't given much thought to the long-term needs of someone with special needs. She's not going to be an adorable baby forever, and I would hope they are prepared for that.

fuckyourcouch - I would be so pissed.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOO PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSED 

ugh.