Problems move with you. You may never be completely satisfied where ever you end up. That being said, if it would solve any of your problems to be in a new space, do it. You have been thinking about this for years. Go for it.
You've probably already thought of this, but... Look into other towns within a reasonable commute for him too. Who knows what you may find. I grew up in your state, but I'm not sure exactly where you are. Let me know if I can help you brainstorm.
This worries me. I know.
Thank you.
Sorry, hon. I've moved a lot and there is always this initial freedom that comes with being in a new place and redefining myself, but eventually all the old issues come flooding right back in. Uninvited, but there they are.
So, which of your problems can actually be solved by moving? Would you be happier to be closer to a downtown type area? If you think it will help, go for it. You have been wondering about it for so long that I would be tempted to do it just so I could stop wondering (assuming financials are not an issue, of course).
H is really hesitant to sell the house, buy a house, then leave again if something came up. Basically, he would not be as open to leaving again, even though he says that he would, now. He changes his mind later.
Remind him that life is an adventure, it's good to try new things and nothing is ever really permanent. We're constantly changing/evolving whether we want to or not. Taking control of change by making choices, even if later choices undo what was done, is better than being buffeted along.
yes and no.
For some people adventure and change are wonderful. For others they are a huge source of unwelcome stress. This doesn't just seem to be as easy as "embrace change, you can always just change again!"
Remind him that life is an adventure, it's good to try new things and nothing is ever really permanent. We're constantly changing/evolving whether we want to or not. Taking control of change by making choices, even if later choices undo what was done, is better than being buffeted along.
yes and no.
For some people adventure and change is wonderful. For others it is a huge source of unwelcome stress. This doesn't just seem to be as easy as "embrace change, you can always just change again!"
I get that, but from what she describes they've been in a rut for 8 years. I think change may be just what's called for, though as I only am going on what she posted, I could very well be wrong.
Thanks for the responses. We've been all over the board with this, obviously, over the years. I am leaning toward A to make H happier, because, when he is happier, it makes things a lot easier for us. And, honestly, allows us to not worry about the impact of my smaller income if he also makes a lot less. That part is more complicated. If we go with A and that fails, I think it's time to call a spade a spade and bail.
You've given yourself the best advice in this whole thread.
If there is a chance that some transfer would happen sooner, rather than later, I think I would go with b. But if it really is slim pickings and you have been waiting a while and nothing is coming open, I think I would be tempted to go with A just to make things a little easier. Sometimes small changes end up making a much bigger difference overall.
Post by LeggsBenedict on May 2, 2013 14:35:41 GMT -5
I don't have advice, just hugs. And also, we looked at a metric asston of places, narrowed it down and toured probably 15 that were all perfectly a-okay with all of our animals. Don't let your pet situation discourage you.
It's pretty popular where I grew up to have a "summer place" - either something you own or rent during the summer months. A place you go to EVERY weekend, or a place you move to for July/August. You can still commute to work, but you have a whole new place to be your base of operations.
It might be exactly what you need to get that fresh, new community feel, without the expense or hassle of a permanent move.
Fun memories of a summer get away place may charge you up for the long winter months.