Do you share mothers day?

[Marmee]

I'm a daughter martyr & put priority of my MIL over myself.  . We're doing brunch with her this year & probably will hang out with her much of the day.  I know I'm a Mom too & have been for 9 mothers days (& now have more kids than my MIL) but I just don't feel like its a big deal for me.  I also encourage my DH to take MIL out to dinner on Valentines Day.  I guess I have guilt or something...MIL is a widow, only has sons & moved across the country to down the street.  I feel like DH should prioritize her on special days because I get him virtually every other day.  He would put me first honestly so maybe that's why it's easy for me to deflect it to her.  She's also an awesome in-law.  My mom is OOT & I feel different toward her....life right now is all about her & she doesn't hesitate to be selfish These days which is fine but I don't have guilt about her.

[redheadk]

I wouldn't mind sharing if I was taken into account at all but DH only has plans to take dd to see mil and has made no plans that include me. I can join them, I know, but it's just sitting around mils house so pass. Now, if he offered to take me to brunch then take dd over to mil on his own so that I could be home alone (never happens!), that would be awesome. It's just the lack of thought/consideration for me and once again prioritizing his mother over me that pisses me off.

[redheadk]

I wouldn't mind sharing if I was taken into account at all but DH only has plans to take dd to see mil and has made no plans that include me. I can join them, I know, but it's just sitting around mils house so pass. Now, if he offered to take me to brunch then take dd over to mil on his own so that I could be home alone (never happens!), that would be awesome. It's just the lack of thought/consideration for me and once again prioritizing his mother over me that pisses me off.

[mie]

I share it with my mom and MIL. There's no real time for me on that day b/c we're busy with both sides of the family.

[cinco]

We are celebrating with my mom and my MIL, and my SIL and her mom. It is my Dad's birthday too, so he's trying to make it all about him as usual  I really don't care. DH acknowledges my mom awesomeness on a regular basis, and the kids will make something for me at school. My birthday, now that is ALL about me.

[pedanticwench]

You sound like a real jerk, OP.

[gumi]

i make it all about my mom. she is an amazing mother and grandmother and i can only hope in years to come that i can be as worthy as her.

every year when my husband asks me what i want, i always request that he watches the kids for a few hours so i can spend time with my mom.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Of course we share it. My mom, MIL, and I are ALL mothers.

My mom and MIL are very sweet about trying to defer to me and saying that I should get to dictate plans because I'm the newest mother. But I don't really care -- I'm happy to do whatever!

[Deleted]

May 7, 2013 16:25:53 GMT -5 redheadk said:

I wouldn't mind sharing if I was taken into account at all but DH only has plans to take dd to see mil and has made no plans that include me. I can join them, I know, but it's just sitting around mils house so pass. Now, if he offered to take me to brunch then take dd over to mil on his own so that I could be home alone (never happens!), that would be awesome. It's just the lack of thought/consideration for me and once again prioritizing his mother over me that pisses me off.

Sorry, but this sounds like a failure in communication from both sides.

[catwithspots]

Eh, my side does not put much stock in these type holidays. DH's family is the complete opposite!

There are tears and emotional calls if he does not send something and spend the day with her. Like a pp, I use this day as a win/win: DH spends time with his mom and I get to read in peace

[popple]

May 7, 2013 10:05:12 GMT -5 pocoyo said:

If you are mother, on Mothers day do you make the whole day about you?  or do you spend time with your mom and your dh's mom?  My DH is annoyed because I refuse to spend my mothers day at my inlaws.  I told him he should go over there in the morning and I get the afternoon.  How do you split the day with your mom and/or mil?

I think I'd be annoyed if I was your DH too. You refuse? That's quite rude. Sure, I don't really want to spend my mother's day with MIL, but she is the mother of my husband as well as my child's grandmother, so I'll grin and bear it to make them happy. It's just a few hours. Sheesh.

[madringal]

Every year all the men in DH's family take a week long fishing trip and they ALWAYS leave the Friday before Mothers Day. It was hard on me at first because I had to split Mothers Day with my mom and my MIL (which was kind of awkward w/o DH). Then my mom died, and I had my first baby. My first Mothers Day as a mom was also my first Mothers Day w/o my own mom. DH hasn't been on the fishing trip since. He knows how hard Mothers Day is for me. I don't care about it at all as a mom, I know my kids love me, and a card a picture from DDs is perfect. But as a daughter, it is really hard. We spend the day with MIL, and DH buys the card and gift and makes dinner reservations. I am more then happy to celebrate the day with her bc she is a great MIL and grandmother, but it would be really hard to have to do all the planning and gift buying on my own.

[Deleted]

*poof*

[galaxy8227]

I usually do something with my Mom the day before Mother's Day--she spends the day with her Mom and Sister, it's always been there thing. MIL lives down the street (as does my Mom) so we usually pop in to drop off a plant and a card but that's it.

This year we were invited to a fist communion for a daughter of one of DH's friends. One of my mother's day gifts is that I get to stay home and he's taking DS solo. I'm excited to just sit at home, watch a movie and take a nap

[mrssandro]

May 8, 2013 10:28:47 GMT -5 pocoyo said:

Yes, I refuse. For my inlaws it is not just a few hours. They want us to spend the whole day there and that is just not happening.

At least you are honest.  ^o) 

I love my inlaws. They are great people who treat me like their daughter. So I don't mind spending time with them. I try to make both my MIL and Mom happy on mothers day. They usually do something for me as well. 

[maddysmum]

I'll be honest - this is just not an important enough "holiday" for me to be concerned with whether or not I have to share it.

I mean, it's Mother's Day. Not Only One Specific Mother's Day. By virtue of that, I'd assume that time and effort would be spent on me, and on both of our mums. Frankly, I'd rather spend it on the mums - it's just not that big a deal to me.

We do brunch every year with my inlaws at the golf course - we've done it as long as I can remember, long before we had kids ourselves. (Never occurred to me to stop once I was a mum, really.) Then, I assume, we'll do supper with my family that night. I like that it's a day of family - I don't need a day of ME.

[M]

I'm not a mom and my mom doesn't care. It's just another day to her (and me) so if we make it into town then we might spend a few hours with MIL. But this year, our anniversary falls on Saturday and H has plans for us to spend the weekend in Charlotte NC on Saturday and NYC on Sunday. Hopefully MIL will understand that we don't get much time off to pick up and go. But I'm starting to feel bad so I think we might just fly MIL to NYC with us on Sunday. H says she'll up and leave everyone to get to do that but I don't know.

[redheadk]

It would have been except that I had made plans (spend Saturday together, just the 3 of us, my mom was going to watch dd so DH and I could have a date night then see my mom & grandma for lunch on sunday and his mom at her house after that). He forget and made other plans involving himself only this weekend but, of course, made sure to plan to spend time with his mother.

[Willis Jackson]

May 8, 2013 11:33:50 GMT -5 redheadk said:

It would have been except that I had made plans (spend Saturday together, just the 3 of us, my mom was going to watch dd so DH and I could have a date night then see my mom & grandma for lunch on sunday and his mom at her house after that). He forget and made other plans involving himself only this weekend but, of course, made sure to plan to spend time with his mother.

Can you ask him to cancel his Saturday plans?

[sratsey]

Both my own mother and H's mother live too far away, so sharing is a non-issue.  If they lived close-by, I wouldn't mind sharing the day.

In the past, it moms are in town (and that is any mom, including my SIL and even my SIL's Mom) we try to find a central place to all get together so they get to see grandkids and then the moms sneak off for a kid's free meal while all the men babysit.

I would hope that one day when my son is off and married, that he ends up with someone who, on Mother's Day, would also be willing to recognize the woman who raised him. ^o)

[peachdragon]

The past two years since I've been a mom, we've had both sets over for dinner and I cooked. This year we are doing something as a nuclear family.

[Deleted]

It is all about family for me. Having brunch and celebrating my sister's and my birthday.