random thought

[BNL2]

You're making total sense and I'll stand with you on everything you said. I don't even feel bad about having the different feelings regarding IFers vs. non IFers. It's just where I am at this point.

[G22]

You make perfect sense and I completely agree. Its way easier to be genuinely excited and happy for the BFPs the girls here get.

You guys are good for my sanity. And my mood swings aren't nearly as bad since I don't bottle everything TTC related in now. My H thanks you for that!

[speyedr]

I agree totally. Seeing the success stories here give me hope that my turn, and all of yours may come eventually. It is SO nice to have a place to vent where I know you all understand. My friends IRL just don't get it because none of them have been through IF, so I just have to say thank you!

[statlerwaldorf]

I understand you and I feel the same way.

[womet]

When someone announces here, I am nothing but happy for them. Because I know that the journey to get there hasn't been easy and hasn't been short. And announcements here give me hope that we'll be there soon. I look forward to announcing here just as much as I do to some of my IRL friends.

[genet313]

100% this too @starflower22!  Honestly, when any of you guys get a BFP, it brings me to tears.  Good, happy tears.  And it makes me hopeful for me.  What could be better than that?

The flip side is, sadly, when bad things happen for you guys, like BNL2 recently, it makes me so, so sad.  Like, can we not ever catch a damn break?

[linz]

I agree. I love this board. I try so hard to stay off the internet each week but this is the one place I feel good about turning to. I'm very happy when people get BFP and even when I got mine I still lurked on this board - turned out to be good since I had a CP. But I'm happy for girls and hurt for them too when things don't work out.

[jewel]

I agree, and I always tell my friends that I have a cold, black heart right now, so don't expect any different. LOL.

The term I use in my head is "deserve." Does that person deserve to be pregnant. If the person has had a history of IF, a significant or recurring loss, recent death of a close loved one, etc. then I feel like they deserve a baby and I can be really happy for them. Most other announcements I am neutral about, at best.

I know it sounds crazy and mean, but I really keep it to myself 99% of the time.

[BNL2]

I'll also admit that 90% of the pregnancy announcements that I've encountered in the last 2 years of our journey have been accidental pregnancies. It's harder for me to be supportive when the person is like "holy shit, I don't even know if I want this." It's so hard when someone is barely excited about the one thing I want more than anything in the world. It's hard not to be bitter.

On another note, a teacher I work with struggled with IF for 5 years. They got pregnant on their first IVF cycle. Everyday I see her growing belly it brings a smile to my face. She gives me hope and she's been one of my few irl supports. She, another friend, and you guys, keep me from becoming a bitter old hag.

[BNL2]

stupid double post

[mae141]

I totally agree with you guys. I think it's why I keep lurking here instead of going to whatever board I'm supposed to head to next. Those pg ladies on the bump just don't get it and I actually end up getting so upset with their carefree attitudes toward their pregnancies. You are my people; you understand my issues.

[melindafelinda]

I feel like my jealousy is random. Some days/person's announcement does nothing to me. Other days I feel super bitter and sorry for myself.

I have bipolar jealousy.

[G22]

May 16, 2013 17:55:40 GMT -5 mae141 said:

I totally agree with you guys. I think it's why I keep lurking here instead of going to whatever board I'm supposed to head to next. Those pg ladies on the bump just don't get it and I actually end up getting so upset with their carefree attitudes toward their pregnancies. You are my people; you understand my issues.

Glad you are still lurking around here! How are you feeling/doing?

[mae141]

May 16, 2013 18:49:37 GMT -5 G22 said:

May 16, 2013 17:55:40 GMT -5 mae141 said:

I totally agree with you guys. I think it's why I keep lurking here instead of going to whatever board I'm supposed to head to next. Those pg ladies on the bump just don't get it and I actually end up getting so upset with their carefree attitudes toward their pregnancies. You are my people; you understand my issues.

Glad you are still lurking around here! How are you feeling/doing?

I'm doing well; thanks for asking! Super tired, but I guess that's to be expected. Graduated from the RE yesterday. 9w1d today and I'm still as terrified that something is going to go wrong as I was the first day. 

[azurely]

I feel the same way. People getting pregnant by accident seems so foreign to me. And quaint, like, oh how cute, they had sex once and she is pregnant. And they don't even appreciate what a miracle that is!

I believe there is something about going through IF that will make us better moms. I will never take my kids for granted, even when they are driving me crazy. They are going to the most prayed, wished, & hoped for miracles, and I'll never forget what it took to get them here.

[KaraOrNot]

I agree with you too.

[rugbywife]

Today at the IF clinic I realized that I see the same women every time I go (every two days)...lol, it is funny, one of the girls and I have started talking about candy crush. And there is another woman whose husband comes with her for each U/S. I feel like we are all in the same fight.

I feel the same way here. It's not that other people don't deserve it, or that we deserve it more, it's just that we understand 'that' feeling when it happens. Other people feel happy. We feel happiness and relief, lol, it's like crossing the line in a marathon (or 10k for me, cause that shit was long).

[ilovecandy]

May 16, 2013 18:34:43 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

I feel like my jealousy is random. Some days/person's announcement does nothing to me. Other days I feel super bitter and sorry for myself.

I have bipolar jealousy.

I feel you. Most of my friends that have been having babies the past almost 3 years now I have been accidental. But I am always truly happy for the people here who ger bfps. I sometimes even jump up and down when I see one. Now I am mostly meh when my irl friends announce unless I know they habe struggled with if. Every now and then I completwly break down. I had a break down lasr week.