Post by VeryViolet on May 17, 2013 11:36:11 GMT -5
I would be concerned that there is an underlying mental illness or possibly some dementia as well. My dad is possibly bipolar and definitely an alcoholic. With each manic period it gets worse. For many reasons we are not sure there has been an actual diagnosis beyond depression and anxiety, there is what he says, what my mom says and the truth. They used to happen every few years and last a few weeks and now it is more like yearly and lasts a few months. The paranoia with it started a few years ago and I can easily see him getting to this point in the not too distant future.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I know how stressful it can be. I know you don't "know" me but if you need anything even just an ear I am here.
Post by pantsparty on May 17, 2013 11:41:39 GMT -5
I am so sorry, scotty.
The most control you have over this situation is you, and I would definitely recommend going to counseling or getting medication. When I first found out about my brother in rehab, it was awful - I couldn't focus, I felt sick, anxious, sad, angry. Things are a little better now, but a lot of that is because I am distanced from the situation and not dealing with it first-hand. I would probably be a mess in your shoes.
I hope your mom gets help, and you do, too. Whether or not she goes to rehab, it would be good for you to speak with someone so you know how to deal with her without getting too emotionally involved.
And I would feel anxious/depressed too. Have you thought about therapy to address it without meds?
Yes, but it feels like my feet are made of lead when it comes to actually dealing with this. I have been in therapy before and it def helps.
Try setting an appointment in your calendar/phone for a day/time to do it and when it goes off hold yourself to it, no excuses. It'll give you some time to process without continually putting it off. Whatever happens with your mom you need a safe place and help to process all that's going on and your feelings related to that.
also figure out your bottom line here. What do you want to happen if she refuses rehab. she needs some serious consequences and you need to do what's healthiest for you which may be cutting her out of your life until she gets help.
I also think you should contact her siblings if you are confident they'll be helpful you need back up in dealing with this. if she does follow through and stops talking to you then so be it but it doesn't sound like things can continue as they are so some drastic stuff may have to happen to get her help.
Is she afraid that the person will find out they were deleted from her contacts.
Probably. She won't use Facebook because of the government spies. She hates gmail because she thinks it is hacked often. She thinks aforementioned person has the ability to hack her new smart phone. She sent a barrage of texts the other night, hysterical, telling me that her phone was 'compromised' and 'people' could read our texts back and forth. I ended up calling her, scared, because she hasn't been this bad in a while, and she cried and cried. She said she can't stop drinking because she has had a hard life, is the oldest, and has to take care of everyone. She told me she would never speak my me again if I got siblings involved.
I was just wondering if you had siblings. Would they be supportive of you? And is it worth it to call your mom's bluff about never speaking to you again if you got them involved? (Sometimes, in my life, I think that wouldn't be the worst thing, but that's also not easy, and the mere thought makes me feel terribly guilty.) Her situation sounds awful and scary, but it's also not fair for her to isolate you like this. Just make sure you take care of you, too (PPs have had good suggestions).
Post by liverandonions on May 17, 2013 12:28:31 GMT -5
Quesera brings up good questions about whether you've seen her-if she has jaundice. I don't know if she has paranoia/mental disorder on a regular basis, but if this seems like new symptoms encephalitis can be caused by liver disease. If this is totally out of whack I would probably get her to an ER.
Sorry you're going through this. Hope you all get the help you need.
Post by pittsmcgee on May 17, 2013 14:57:42 GMT -5
I'm so sorry scotty. Of course this is going to weigh on you and cause you anxiety. The #1 reason I went to counseling and needed anti-anxiety meds was because of my parents. It isn't fair you have to be the one to deal with this. Being an only child to unstable parents sucks. I know from experience.