Ask A Jew?

[Deleted]

I've got one, rjamz!
Back in the day I dated a Jewish guy. We were pretty serious but I felt that his parents never approved. As in, we could date but getting married was off the cards. They liked me though, and were always super nice. They were Reformed.

So my question is, at what level do Jews only marry other Jews? And does the non-Jew always have to convert? A la Charlotte style from SATC.

[rjamz]

May 21, 2013 6:14:21 GMT -5 @starbound said:

I've got one, rjamz!
Back in the day I dated a Jewish guy. We were pretty serious but I felt that his parents never approved. As in, we could date but getting married was off the cards. They liked me though, and were always super nice. They were Reformed.

So my question is, at what level do Jews only marry other Jews? And does the non-Jew always have to convert? A la Charlotte style from SATC.

A lot of Jews will only marry Jews. It's hard to find a rabbi, even reform, who will perform an intermarriage ceremony. Especially of it's the woman who isn't Jewish bc the religion of the children follows the mother. I've met a lot of people who have converted (my BFF included, she's originally from bumblefuck South Dakota. Not many Jews there).

Oh, and technically I'm a convert too, but it's because I was adopted so it was done when I was a baby

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[The Foozzler]

May 21, 2013 6:14:21 GMT -5 @starbound said:

I've got one, rjamz!
Back in the day I dated a Jewish guy. We were pretty serious but I felt that his parents never approved. As in, we could date but getting married was off the cards. They liked me though, and were always super nice. They were Reformed.

So my question is, at what level do Jews only marry other Jews? And does the non-Jew always have to convert? A la Charlotte style from SATC.

My sister married a non Jew. My family wasn't happy about it, but they got over it. The got married by a justice of the peace. H is actually the only Jew that I ever seriously dated, but I am really glad I married a fellow Jew. Plus it made our families happy.

There is definitely a lot of family pressure to marry a Jew. And there is always the question of conversion, but I feel like that doesn't happen as often.

[The Foozzler]

May 20, 2013 13:39:14 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I can't remember the context of this, and I'm sure it's probably something offensive, so don't hold that against me... I keep thinking about that song in Family Guy where Peter sings "I need a Jeewww..." lol

The episode where Peter can't manage his money so he needs to find a Jew to help him.

[rjamz]

May 21, 2013 20:19:10 GMT -5 @lindy said:

May 21, 2013 6:14:21 GMT -5 @starbound said:

I've got one, rjamz!
Back in the day I dated a Jewish guy. We were pretty serious but I felt that his parents never approved. As in, we could date but getting married was off the cards. They liked me though, and were always super nice. They were Reformed.

So my question is, at what level do Jews only marry other Jews? And does the non-Jew always have to convert? A la Charlotte style from SATC.

I'm not Jewish but the only Jewish friend I had growing up had a Jewish mom and Christian dad. She was raised in both religions but didn't follow any dietary restrictions of the religions. She's not really either religion now. In Kansas that is pretty common because there aren't many Jewish people so they seem to marry outside the religion more.

I'm sorry, but this has been bothering me since last night. Why would you feel the urge to answer a question directed at people who have knowledge of Judaism with an anecdote about a friend you had who is half Jewish and doesn't follow any of the rules? I don't mean to come off as obnoxious, but her question had nothing to do with your friend or you. You aren't Jewish. You don't live in a large Jewish community. You have a 1 friend who is barely Jewish.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

What's the deal with kosher salt?

rjamz
The Foozzler

[Dorothy Zbornak]

What's the deal with kosher salt?

rjamz
The Foozzler

[rjamz]

May 27, 2013 10:56:27 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

What's the deal with kosher salt?

rjamz
The Foozzler

To make meat kosher (once it's been ritually slaughtered), the butcher salts it to draw all the blood out (blood is a big kosher no-no). I assume that's the type of salt he uses, the thick coarse stuff, and that's why it's now known as kosher salt.

[thedahliharpa]

I got a question. One of my favorite bands, mind you they are a punk band not a group of goody two shoes, plays a song about Jews and I'm wondering if you think it is funny or offensive. Note that the lead singer and guitarist who authored the song are Jewish. I'll post the link to the song and then the lyrics but try to listen to it first. It's so catchy...we separate our milk plates from our meats...I imagine rjamz singing that to herself when she loads her double dishwashers.

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Ia7bBbTjgxQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIa7bBbTjgxQ

www.plyrics.com/lyrics/nofx/thebrews.html

[rjamz]

May 27, 2013 11:54:33 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I got a question. One of my favorite bands, mind you they are a punk band not a group of goody two shoes, plays a song about Jews and I'm wondering if you think it is funny or offensive. Note that the lead singer and guitarist who authored the song are Jewish. I'll post the link to the song and then the lyrics but try to listen to it first. It's so catchy...we separate our milk plates from our meats...I imagine rjamz singing that to herself when she loads her double dishwashers.

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Ia7bBbTjgxQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIa7bBbTjgxQ

www.plyrics.com/lyrics/nofx/thebrews.html

Lol, I don't find it offensive, I just wonder what an anti-swastika tattoo looks like.

And I try not to use the words shiksa or shaigitz (a male non Jew) bc I think it comes for the Yiddish word for trash or something like that

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[The Foozzler]

May 27, 2013 11:10:40 GMT -5 rjamz said:

May 27, 2013 10:56:27 GMT -5 Dorothy Zbornak said:

What's the deal with kosher salt?

rjamz
The Foozzler

To make meat kosher (once it's been ritually slaughtered), the butcher salts it to draw all the blood out (blood is a big kosher no-no). I assume that's the type of salt he uses, the thick coarse stuff, and that's why it's now known as kosher salt.

That was my understanding also. And kosher salt does not contain any additives for this reason.

[The Foozzler]

May 27, 2013 11:54:33 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I got a question. One of my favorite bands, mind you they are a punk band not a group of goody two shoes, plays a song about Jews and I'm wondering if you think it is funny or offensive. Note that the lead singer and guitarist who authored the song are Jewish. I'll post the link to the song and then the lyrics but try to listen to it first. It's so catchy...we separate our milk plates from our meats...I imagine rjamz singing that to herself when she loads her double dishwashers.

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Ia7bBbTjgxQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIa7bBbTjgxQ

www.plyrics.com/lyrics/nofx/thebrews.html

I used to love NOFX but I have never heard that song before. I don't think it is offensive. Though I tend to not think many things are offensive.

[katfco]

May 27, 2013 12:18:14 GMT -5 rjamz said:

May 27, 2013 11:54:33 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I got a question. One of my favorite bands, mind you they are a punk band not a group of goody two shoes, plays a song about Jews and I'm wondering if you think it is funny or offensive. Note that the lead singer and guitarist who authored the song are Jewish. I'll post the link to the song and then the lyrics but try to listen to it first. It's so catchy...we separate our milk plates from our meats...I imagine rjamz singing that to herself when she loads her double dishwashers.

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Ia7bBbTjgxQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIa7bBbTjgxQ

www.plyrics.com/lyrics/nofx/thebrews.html

Lol, I don't find it offensive, I just wonder what an anti-swastika tattoo looks like.

And I try not to use the words shiksa or shaigitz (a male non Jew) bc I think it comes for the Yiddish word for trash or something like that

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

I checked etymonline.com, which is an etymology site, and yeah, it says shiksa comes from the word "detested thing."

[rjamz]

May 27, 2013 14:29:40 GMT -5 katfco said:

May 27, 2013 12:18:14 GMT -5 rjamz said:

Lol, I don't find it offensive, I just wonder what an anti-swastika tattoo looks like.

And I try not to use the words shiksa or shaigitz (a male non Jew) bc I think it comes for the Yiddish word for trash or something like that

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

I checked etymonline.com, which is an etymology site, and yeah, it says shiksa comes from the word "detested thing."

Yeah, even though it's entered common lexicon, I know it started off as derogatory. Also, I have a friend who converted as an adult and she finds it incredibly offensive if some talks about how she "used to be a shiksa." So I don't use it, and neither do my parents or H

[monkeybabe]

May 22, 2013 9:19:33 GMT -5 rjamz said:

May 21, 2013 20:19:10 GMT -5 @lindy said:

I'm not Jewish but the only Jewish friend I had growing up had a Jewish mom and Christian dad. She was raised in both religions but didn't follow any dietary restrictions of the religions. She's not really either religion now. In Kansas that is pretty common because there aren't many Jewish people so they seem to marry outside the religion more.

I'm sorry, but this has been bothering me since last night. Why would you feel the urge to answer a question directed at people who have knowledge of Judaism with an anecdote about a friend you had who is half Jewish and doesn't follow any of the rules? I don't mean to come off as obnoxious, but her question had nothing to do with your friend or you. You aren't Jewish. You don't live in a large Jewish community. You have a 1 friend who is barely Jewish.

Is her friend barely Jewish because she's half, doesn't follow the rules, or a combination? I guess, since I grew up in a Christian community where you just are Christian, it baffles me a bit. Plus, I'm an Atheist, that is pretty ignorant to most religions.

ETA: Part of the reason I ask was because my former BFF was half Jewish, through her mother (her dad was just some Irish dude at a party), and she never went to Synagogue, because the Jewish population is pretty much non-existent where I'm from. She lives in a major city now and practices some aspects of Judaism, but she never had a bat mitvah or anything like that. Is she Jewish only in that she was born to a Jewish mother?

[mala]

Dorothy Zbornak

The molecular structure of Kosher salt is also very different from any other type of salt. This makes it much better at absorbing liquids (i.e. blood) than, say, table salt.

legacy.mos.org/sln/sem/ksalt.html <- kosher salt under a microscope

[devotchka]

May 28, 2013 1:07:15 GMT -5 monkeybabe said:

May 22, 2013 9:19:33 GMT -5 rjamz said:

I'm sorry, but this has been bothering me since last night. Why would you feel the urge to answer a question directed at people who have knowledge of Judaism with an anecdote about a friend you had who is half Jewish and doesn't follow any of the rules? I don't mean to come off as obnoxious, but her question had nothing to do with your friend or you. You aren't Jewish. You don't live in a large Jewish community. You have a 1 friend who is barely Jewish.

Is her friend barely Jewish because she's half, doesn't follow the rules, or a combination? I guess, since I grew up in a Christian community where you just are Christian, it baffles me a bit. Plus, I'm an Atheist, that is pretty ignorant to most religions.

ETA: Part of the reason I ask was because my former BFF was half Jewish, through her mother (her dad was just some Irish dude at a party), and she never went to Synagogue, because the Jewish population is pretty much non-existent where I'm from. She lives in a major city now and practices some aspects of Judaism, but she never had a bat mitvah or anything like that. Is she Jewish only in that she was born to a Jewish mother?

It can be cultural, not just religious - I am Jewish and have always considered myself Jewish (I am 100% and my whole family is Jewish on my Mom's and Dad's side even though my Mom remarried a Christian.) However, even though I had a Bat Mitzvah I am actually very secular and consider myself basically agnostic. We celebrate some of the holidays though, mostly by getting together and eating, I'll be honest. It's pretty Jewish-lite... Also, I married a non-Jewish agnostic ex-Protestant

My kid will be going to a Jewish preschool though pretty soon. Only bc the one here is awesome and why not...

It's kind of like being an ex-catholic. They never really let you fully leave There is a David Cross bit about this...

[thedahliharpa]

Wow, lots of views for the ask the Jews thread. Just fartin.

[rjamz]

May 28, 2013 1:07:15 GMT -5 monkeybabe said:

May 22, 2013 9:19:33 GMT -5 rjamz said:

I'm sorry, but this has been bothering me since last night. Why would you feel the urge to answer a question directed at people who have knowledge of Judaism with an anecdote about a friend you had who is half Jewish and doesn't follow any of the rules? I don't mean to come off as obnoxious, but her question had nothing to do with your friend or you. You aren't Jewish. You don't live in a large Jewish community. You have a 1 friend who is barely Jewish.

Is her friend barely Jewish because she's half, doesn't follow the rules, or a combination? I guess, since I grew up in a Christian community where you just are Christian, it baffles me a bit. Plus, I'm an Atheist, that is pretty ignorant to most religions.

ETA: Part of the reason I ask was because my former BFF was half Jewish, through her mother (her dad was just some Irish dude at a party), and she never went to Synagogue, because the Jewish population is pretty much non-existent where I'm from. She lives in a major city now and practices some aspects of Judaism, but she never had a bat mitvah or anything like that. Is she Jewish only in that she was born to a Jewish mother?

Sorry, I just saw this. I was mostly annoyed that she was answering a question that was not directed at her or any sort of knowledge base she would have.

She's barely Jewish bc of a combination. When you're born to a Jewish mother, you're Jewish. For me, and I'm a bit more liberal about this than most Orthodox people, if you're born to a Jewish father, but identify as a Jew and practice Judaism, you're Jewish. Most Orthodox people would not agree with that though.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Jun 10, 2013 21:46:20 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

So is all Kosher salt actually kosher? Or is it just a type of salt?

Anyway, I came in here because I noticed my double oven has a Sabbath setting. What is that about? I suppose I could google, but I thought instead I would **ask a Jew** (jazz hands). rjamz

I feel like we need to set up our fancy Jewish ladies with a diamond-studded Star of David necklace that blinks when a question gets asked here.

[rjamz]

Jun 10, 2013 21:46:20 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

So is all Kosher salt actually kosher? Or is it just a type of salt?

Anyway, I came in here because I noticed my double oven has a Sabbath setting. What is that about? I suppose I could google, but I thought instead I would **ask a Jew** (jazz hands). rjamz

Lol, a sabbath setting lets it stay on for 24 hrs or more so Jews can heat up food on Saturday. Most ovens automatically turn off for safety reasons. The setting just overrides that.

All salt is kosher

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[irishsara]

If you eat kosher, what happens when you go to a wedding or something? Just not eat? Or do you generally find something acceptable. Or, if you go to someone's house for dinner?

rjamz

[rjamz]

Jun 11, 2013 11:06:38 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

ahh okay. So you aren't supposed to turn on the oven on Sabbath then?

Yup. No cooking, but you can heat up food

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[rjamz]

Jun 11, 2013 11:15:31 GMT -5 irishsara said:

If you eat kosher, what happens when you go to a wedding or something? Just not eat? Or do you generally find something acceptable. Or, if you go to someone's house for dinner?

rjamz

It depends on the person. Some won't eat. Some will eat a cold salad. I'll eat dairy foods and joshe fish (has to have fins and scales) at non kosher places

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[The Foozzler]

Jun 11, 2013 11:15:31 GMT -5 irishsara said:

If you eat kosher, what happens when you go to a wedding or something? Just not eat? Or do you generally find something acceptable. Or, if you go to someone's house for dinner?

rjamz

We had a kosher option at our un kosher wedding for our Kosher friends are family. However, most of my kosher friends will eat a vegetarian option if kosher is not available. Most, other than ultra orthodox, will eat vegetarian or parve (not meat or diary) if kosher is not available.

[rjamz]

Jun 19, 2013 16:55:35 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

When you say heat up food - is it the action of doing work or the action of the food cooking? I am assuming it is the doing work?

Therefore, if you made up a lasagna but didn't cook it, are you ok to then cook it (ie put it in an already on oven) on Sabbath?

Also, fridges I am looking at come wiht a Sabbath setting and I was able to explain to DH why that is so thank you for the education ladies!

It's the actual cooking, so you would have to cook the lasagna first and then could reheat it on the Sabbath

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[rjamz]

Jun 21, 2013 11:54:44 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

So, creamsicle's post about preschool got me looking at local preschools for Joanna to possibly start after she turns two. There is a local Jewish preschool that some (non-Jewish) family friends of ours went to, and looking at their website, they sound pretty cool and like the sort of thing I am looking for. They are reform and welcome kids of all faiths.

I looked up reform Judaism and liked what I saw. Then I started thinking "hmm.. could I go to Temple there even if I am not Jewish?" I went to the Temple's main website, and they welcome interfaith couples, but could someone with no Jewish ties go? Is that done? What if someone is thinking about converting? Can they just go to see what it's like? How does someone learn more about Judaism? Can you practice it as a faith the way you can Christianity or is it more who you are than what you believe?

I'm sorry if this is a weird or off-putting line of questioning. I have an evangelical Christian background, so obviously things are different since they want everyone in the world to convert.

You can definitely go! And you should talk to the rabbi there and tell him/her that you're interested in learning more about Judaism. Judaism is both who you are and what you believe. That's why you'll find Jews who are atheists but still call themselves Jews.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[imimahoney]

Jun 21, 2013 12:47:38 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Thank you! I don't know if I will or not, but I am thinking about it. Maybe if I end up putting J in preschool there, I can get to know some people and then go after that. I like a lot of the things the website and the URJ website say about their beliefs and practices, but I guess my biggest hangup is... well, Jesus. lol. No matter where I am with my beliefs about God and salvation, I'm probably always going to like him.

My husband's family is reform (I am conservative) and I find the reform movement and all it's teachings to be very accepting. His temple runs a preschool, that while it is Jewish and teaches about the Jewish holidays and traditions, is not in your face about it. A lot of those who attend the school are not in fact Jewish. 

And they will probably never bring up Jesus. Never even in the he's not what we believe in. Judaism, especially reform Judaism, is all about it's cultural and ethnic traditions so I imagine that is what a lot of the curriculum would be about. 

[charmediamsure]

This thread is full of so much win that I must confess my secret confession.

I've always thought being Jewish was so cool. It's kind of hard for me to explain why. It sounds ridiculous now that I am typing it out. I used to think it was so cool that my dad made potato pancakes when I heard that they were traditionally Jewish. I used to ask if stuff was kosher and my parents were like "........." I went to a University that has a huge Jewish population--like campus shuts down on Jewish holidays--I made so many friends that were Jewish and they seemed caught off guard that I was so interested in their culture. Once I had a kosher Coca Cola and I swear it tasted better. Hahahaha.

I was reminded of this because the other day I was in the grocery store picking up some cream cheese to bring to work so I could have bagels for breakfast for the week, and I realized the cream cheese I chose had a kosher logo and it made me smile.

[rjamz]

Jun 21, 2013 21:31:16 GMT -5 charmediamsure said:

This thread is full of so much win that I must confess my secret confession.

I've always thought being Jewish was so cool. It's kind of hard for me to explain why. It sounds ridiculous now that I am typing it out. I used to think it was so cool that my dad made potato pancakes when I heard that they were traditionally Jewish. I used to ask if stuff was kosher and my parents were like "........." I went to a University that has a huge Jewish population--like campus shuts down on Jewish holidays--I made so many friends that were Jewish and they seemed caught off guard that I was so interested in their culture. Once I had a kosher Coca Cola and I swear it tasted better. Hahahaha.

I was reminded of this because the other day I was in the grocery store picking up some cream cheese to bring to work so I could have bagels for breakfast for the week, and I realized the cream cheese I chose had a kosher logo and it made me smile.

Awesome confession!