H and I don't want to touch our savings other than the closing costs for our new house so the budget for our new bedroom furniture, setting up DS's room and the backyard is minimal. Sadly we had some car trouble and now the backyard probably isn't going to happen. How trashy is it if I sell some gold jewelry that I will never wear again? Ugh.
We are really taking our time furnishing our new house. It may be 4 or so months before we have a backyard. You could always take your old bedroom furniture and wait until you can save more?
My sister is coming this weekend. I feel like we have visitors almost every other week. I'm excited though. We get along really well and she is D's most favorite person.
I've become the point of contact between MIL and H. For some reason she has gotten it in her head to text me to talk to H. I don't know why she feels the need to do this but it's annoying.
My MIL would do this, and then if dh did not get back to her she would get angry at me. She did this because when she called dh he would not call back; so then it became MY fault that dh was not calling her.
My favorite is when she texts me and asks "Is [first name] ok? I haven't heard from him in awhile"
I always feel like responding "no, he died. Did I forget to tell you?" But she doesn't get sarcasm AT ALL and it would turn into a big mess. I remind H to call her but their relationship is not my responsibility. He's a big boy and she has his number so I don't know why I have to be responsible for this.
I know that they (MIL and SIL) think I took H 'away' from them, but they don't realize that 99% of the reason he still has a relationship with them is because of me. I've learned to just back off and mostly just stop texting back when she texts with that nonsense.
I finally finished booking all of our hotels for next week. I am so excited!
I also signed up for a birth doula training class. I've been reading books and think this is the direction I should take myself in terms of my career. It's not until September so it'll give me time to read and attend some births, if I get the chance.
My favorite is when she texts me and asks "Is [first name] ok? I haven't heard from him in awhile"
I always feel like responding "no, he died. Did I forget to tell you?" But she doesn't get sarcasm AT ALL and it would turn into a big mess. I remind H to call her but their relationship is not my responsibility. He's a big boy and she has his number so I don't know why I have to be responsible for this.
I know that they (MIL and SIL) think I took H 'away' from them, but they don't realize that 99% of the reason he still has a relationship with them is because of me. I've learned to just back off and mostly just stop texting back when she texts with that nonsense.
This is what my MIL never could get through her head. He didn't want to talk to her; that's why he doesn't call. I don't MAKE him not call you. I MAKE him come over and see you, I BUY YOUR GIFTS from him because HE WON"T SHOP FOR YOU. She was so sure it was me keeping him away. Now, when she calls, I hand the phone to him or I give her his phone number where he is right then, every time. "You know how forgetful I am; here's his number where he is, you should call there and tell him this right now".
Lol this is us exactly.
He doesn't even know her birthday. I remind him to get her a card when the date comes up but he is in charge of gifts. If he doesn't do it, not my problem. Now when she texts or calls I just say "call your mom." If he doesn't, oh well.
He doesn't even know her birthday. I remind him to get her a card when the date comes up but he is in charge of gifts. If he doesn't do it, not my problem. Now when she texts or calls I just say "call your mom." If he doesn't, oh well.
I did this till my MIL started a complete shitstorm with the entire family, telling them all that I was driving the family apart, that my husband was my puppet, that he and I had serious marital communication problems because I would never tell him when she called, etc etc. His brother called dh out on my behavior, telling him I was a lying manipulative bitch who was just trying to increase my social status somehow or other; they got in a huge fight, didn't speak for years, my SIL wouldnt' speak to me either, till years later, after the two of them divorced. MIL came over to 'apologize' for the 'misunderstanding'; told me she was sorry that it was all true that I was such a bitch, and I threw her out of my house. That's when I quit buying her gifts and cards.
I'm afraid that this is going to happen to me one day, and I don't know how to avoid it. H doesn't want to have much of anything to do with MIL or two of my SILs and prefers to ignore them, so they always call/text/facebook/invite me instead. I leave the decisions about his family up to him, and his answer to attending events and returning phone calls is almost always no. I'm waiting for the day that they start assuming that I'm the reason he's avoiding them, especially since I've already had a run in with one of my SILs that lead to her refusing to speak to me for almost two years.
I plan on applying for unemployment once this job ends. From the unemployment website, they make it seem so easy. Too easy. All I have to do is call and give a little info. It has to be more complex than that doesn't it?
I just know it is not all going to work out. Especially considering how confused these people were about the whole tax process. I have no way of knowing if they have paid everything they're supposed to.
I'm afraid that this is going to happen to me one day, and I don't know how to avoid it. H doesn't want to have much of anything to do with MIL or two of my SILs and prefers to ignore them, so they always call/text/facebook/invite me instead. I leave the decisions about his family up to him, and his answer to attending events and returning phone calls is almost always no. I'm waiting for the day that they start assuming that I'm the reason he's avoiding them, especially since I've already had a run in with one of my SILs that lead to her refusing to speak to me for almost two years.
And then YOU have to be the one who calls/contacts and says no, right? So you are the bad guy saying no. This is what happened to me. Immediately direct all communications to the dh; as in "Oh, you know how dh is! you have to speak directly to him. Here's his number; XXX XXXX, call him RIGHT NOW and ask him." or if it's an email, "Oh, Sally, you should talk with Bill. Here's his email; forward this to him right now!"
Dh picked up the phone yesterday, it was his mom. She was over cleaning out her mom's house and wanted to know if we wanted the toaster, which for funny reasons we do, and she got all pissed that he would not put us all in the car and go get it right then. We were eating dinner, but oh well. He said no, she got all pissy, and I gave him an extra large piece of bday cake, as a reward.
Yeah, normally it's like a facebook message or an e-invite that I have to reply to because they only bother to send it to me. I don't answer MILs calls anymore, because most of the time there's no reason for her call and if she leaves a message actually needing anything I have H call her back about it. I also try to remind him to call her on important dates, like her birthday and MD, but I don't nag him about it because we try our best to follow the his family, his problem rule. That's a good idea, though, about making it more obvious to them that it's him they should be contacting instead of just making excuses for both of us.
He doesn't even know her birthday. I remind him to get her a card when the date comes up but he is in charge of gifts. If he doesn't do it, not my problem. Now when she texts or calls I just say "call your mom." If he doesn't, oh well.
I did this till my MIL started a complete shitstorm with the entire family, telling them all that I was driving the family apart, that my husband was my puppet, that he and I had serious marital communication problems because I would never tell him when she called, etc etc. His brother called dh out on my behavior, telling him I was a lying manipulative bitch who was just trying to increase my social status somehow or other; they got in a huge fight, didn't speak for years, my SIL wouldnt' speak to me either, till years later, after the two of them divorced. MIL came over to 'apologize' for the 'misunderstanding'; told me she was sorry that it was all true that I was such a bitch, and I threw her out of my house. That's when I quit buying her gifts and cards.
This is so dumb lol.
I'm glad you threw her out. Luckily we've already had our big blowout with MIL and since then things have been better. I just can't react.
Post by sunshineray on May 20, 2013 14:19:18 GMT -5
I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.
Had a mandatory work meeting this morning. There are 17 of us who have the same job title in our department. I guess that seems like a lot, but we cover specialized company operations for the whole country. Anyway, they are eliminating two of those jobs. So, only 15 of us will still have jobs the first week of August. I am freaking out.
Post by ElizabethBennet on May 20, 2013 14:22:07 GMT -5
I just made the best salad for lunch. It was spring mix, chicken breast, blue cheese crumbles, dried cranberries, and a homemade fig balsamic vinaigrette.