Whelp. A summer of paying for the repairs to the oven and being your personal bitch will probably do him some good. So sorry this is happening to you guys!
I will say, I know he's stressed out and is having a lot of anxiety this week. My daughter has court tomorrow for her issues (she's bipolar and pretty out of control). He is worried that we will go to court and she will be gone.
However, that doesn't excuse his behavior! I am stressed also but I am not kicking everything I see. Acting like she acts is not going to achieve anything. He doesn't really participate in his therapy, saying all of the coping skills for his anxiety just "don't work".
I'm frustrated because this is my life and it sucks. This is not at all what I envisioned parenting to look like.
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. I can imagine it has to be hard for you, and your kids, but you are right to keep drilling in to him that being stressed does not give him permission to be a violent jerk. Keep doing what you are doing, it will get better eventually (I hope!) Pulling for you!