Post by speckledfrog on Jun 2, 2013 13:21:02 GMT -5
I forgot about side lying nursing, which is silly because I still do it. I only occasionally slept while doing it but it was life-saving to not have to expend the energy to sit up.
Another thing that MH did while W was little was was awesome is that he would get up, change him and then bring him to me to be fed. Then he'd sleep while I nursed and I could wake him up to put W back to bed if I was too tired to do so.
Also, I'm just going to lay this out there because I wish someone had said it to me in the beginning: It's okay and totally normal if you aren't head over heels about your baby. Some moms fall instantly in love with their kid the second he or she pops out (and if that's you that is awesome) but some moms don't. Everyone I saw those first few weeks was like, "Isn't it amazing how much you love them from the moment they are born?" and I would just smile and nod but I didn't really feel like that. He was very much wanted but I didn't feel those overwhelmingly loving feelings and I worried that it meant I had PPD or that I was a bad mom. It didn't mean either of those things and the feelings came after the first few weeks. If you are feeling anything similar I just wanted you to know that it's normal.
I read it when I was within the first two weeks of suckage and it helped me understand that it truly is normal for the beginning to be horrible. Hang in there - it really, really does get better.
I read it when I was within the first two weeks of suckage and it helped me understand that it truly is normal for the beginning to be horrible. Hang in there - it really, really does get better.
This essay is totally spot on. Even just two months out, it's already starting.
this is very normal. you don't ever want your boobs to "feel super full". if that happens, it tells your body that you're making too much, and you will start to make less. .. it's supply and demand.
if she's demanding it, you will supply it in all normal circumstances. I know a lot moms think they have "low supply" but my pedi basically put me on check by telling me "it would be very uncommon for you to become pregnant, carry the baby, deliver and then NOT be able to feed it, so relax. they not only want the boob because it feeds them, it also comforts them!
it is very very normal to start a feeding session 15 to 20 after the last one ended. I suggest a nursing stool, some food you can eat with one hand like apple slices, pretzels, tons of water, a zillion movies on demand and no more visitors until she's a couple of months old (good luck with that)
This. ALL of this.
Boobs are interesting, because they don't necessarily feel super full, but there can be a TON of milk in there. Babies are interesting, because they can get out more milk than a pump ever can. It is totally and completely normal for a breastfed baby to want to eat every 1.5-2 hours. The "every 3 hours" thing people always talk about w/r/t infant feeding is misleading when it comes to newborn breastfed babies, and leads a lot of moms to think they have a low supply, when really, the baby is just doing exactly what it should be, and needing to eat all.the.time. If she's having wet diapers, she's good. My pedi said 1 wet diaper for the number of days old (up to a week or 10 days, I think). Day 5 = 5 wet diapers. More than that and you're great. Less than that and you call the pedi.
It will probably feel like she's living on your boob for a couple months, and that's because she very well could be. Especially during growth spurts and if/when she cluster feeds. When that happens you may second guess your supply again, because cluster feeds typically happen in the evening, when your supply is naturally lower (it cycles - highest in the morning, lowest in the evening). Nurse through it if you can. Every hour if you need to, and even if it feels like there is not a single drop in there. The more you put her to breast, the more your body will know it needs to make.
And sleep deprivation is definitely INSANE. It is so so hard, hang in there, you're doing great!
I forgot about side lying nursing, which is silly because I still do it. I only occasionally slept while doing it but it was life-saving to not have to expend the energy to sit up.
Another thing that MH did while W was little was was awesome is that he would get up, change him and then bring him to me to be fed. Then he'd sleep while I nursed and I could wake him up to put W back to bed if I was too tired to do so.
Also, I'm just going to lay this out there because I wish someone had said it to me in the beginning: It's okay and totally normal if you aren't head over heels about your baby. Some moms fall instantly in love with their kid the second he or she pops out (and if that's you that is awesome) but some moms don't. Everyone I saw those first few weeks was like, "Isn't it amazing how much you love them from the moment they are born?" and I would just smile and nod but I didn't really feel like that. He was very much wanted but I didn't feel those overwhelmingly loving feelings and I worried that it meant I had PPD or that I was a bad mom. It didn't mean either of those things and the feelings came after the first few weeks. If you are feeling anything similar I just wanted you to know that it's normal.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jun 2, 2013 19:38:32 GMT -5
One day at a time, mama.
It gets so much better. The first two weeks are so exhausting and hard and emotional it's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Our kid ate every hour and a half for the first 6 weeks of his life. (Nighttime feeds were a bit better at about 4 weeks as he'd give me a 2 - 3 hour stretch. But still. It suuuuucked. I was a zombie.) Plus, the first two weeks I seriously just sat around topless since I hadn't yet mastered the art of discrete breastfeeding. It was fine with my mom and sister, but when my dad and stepmom were here, I was all "hai, my boobs are going to get nekkid now and you're going to be okay with it because my kid is okay with it."
And then I entered the realm of oversupply / overactive letdown and it was so tough to see him choke and cry every time I fed him because my body thought I'd had triplets and was producing enough for all three of them.
So I was not just a zombie, but also one with engorged, leaky boobs that liked to shoot sprays of milk across the room.
And I cried a lot.
But now that K is just over two months old it's become a much more settled and soothing experience for everyone. (I'm still making enough milk for a whole lot of babies, but now K just pulls off and looks at me, like, "hey, you wanna do something about this ma?")
You will get there. You are doing awesome. I promise.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jun 2, 2013 19:47:54 GMT -5
Oh, and definitely nap when you can. I am not a napper. I have never been good at it. Plus, I've been back at work part-time for awhile now, so I can't nap because when he is sleeping, I am working.
But when I've been able to sneak in a nap here and there I have felt like a million damn dollars. We went to visit H's friends a few weeks ago and I was nodding off in the recliner and the woman (who has 3 kids of her own and knows about this stuff) said, "go upstairs and nap for an hour." So I did and it was awesome and no one was a hater because everyone knows naps are fantastic.
congratulations, and relax your expectation of yourself. all, ALL--the only thing--you have to do is just keep yourself and that kid going. you don't have to do laundry or make polite conversation or eat 3 square, well-balanced meals, or even sit up. hell, lay down ALL damn day watching reruns of roseanne if that makes you feel any better.
and, while i'm sure this will all be better very shortly and i am NOT a lactation consultant, in my personal experience my kid wanted to SUCK a lot, but didn't necessarily want to eat/nurse a lot. she was perfectly content to suck on my pinky. and not every eye rub or mouth movement is rooting (despite what my mil fervently believed. seriously. she didn't even visit until L was like 3 weeks old and we were in a pretty good routine and my mil was all "ooh! rooting again! she's hungry!" L wasn't rooting. she was YAWNING. and promptly fell asleep). right now, your baby is pretty much a stranger, but you'll get to know your little one super quick and will learn to distinguish all of the nuances and little signs.
Just chiming in to say I've totally been there. Hang in there and it will get easier. you are doing great! I hated the newborn stage. Hated it. But after the first few weeks it really does start getting so much easier.
Post by ladystardust on Jun 3, 2013 1:55:52 GMT -5
Thank you everyone for the support and advice. Currently this night isn't going any better (she's only wanted to feed for the last.5 hours now.) Buti'm just trying to be patient. Planning on setting up a lactation appt. tomorrow. My parents came over today and they got her to sleep for a little over 3 hours. Wish I could get those results without her being attatched but I was able to get some sleep.
I haven't read all of the responses but do you have a swing? When mommas are dying for sleep after delivery, I put fussy babies on our swing in the nursery and actually have to wake them at 3-3.5 hours to go breastfeed with mom. Our swing moves from side to side. Not sure if that makes a difference but at my last facility the front-to-back swing didn't seem to pacify them as long.