can someone explain to me the point of a couple shower?

[cheeseandcrackers]

I got an invitation for a couple shower from my friend that is getting married in two months with attachments for the places they are registered with.

I don't really understand the point of a couple shower. I know I am suppose to bring a gift to it, hence the shower part, but the registry is also for their wedding.. so am i suppose to bring one gift for their couple shower from registry and then another gift for the wedding? I was going to do cash for their wedding anyway, but it just seems strange. 

[Deleted]

more gifts.

ywia.

[eb777888]

I had a couples baby shower. It was AWESOME! But my friend that was throwing the shower really pushed for it so I was like "yeah, sure, whatever you want" and it was way more fun that a normal shower, imo, because we didn't do games and it was basically like a big party.

I give a wedding gift and a small shower gift but I noticed most people that came to my shower didn't give me a wedding gift (no biggie, totally not complaining, just an observation).

[partiallysunny]

I'm confused.

I assume the couples shower = bridal shower, just that dudes can go.

[VeryViolet]

Is it weird to do a gift for a shower and the wedding? That is usually how I have seen it done and there is never more than one registry.

FWIW I just got an invite to a couples baby shower. I plan on pretending like I didn't know it was couples and leave DH at home because he would never stop bitching.

[Muddled]

Because misery loves company.

But, yes, showers are gift grabs any way you look at it. That's why you don't plan your own.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 10:05:11 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

I'm confused.

I assume the couples shower = bridal shower, just that dudes can go.

exactly.  hence, the "point" is the same.  more gifts. 

[EmilieMadison]

Are you confused about wedding showers in general? This is fairly typical- one gift for a shower, one for the wedding. The fact that it's a couples shower just means that the party is for both the bride and the groom, instead of just the bride. I dont really know what you're asking.

[eb777888]

Jun 3, 2013 10:07:58 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Unless she is also having a separate bridal shower, this is basically the same thing but just together as a couple instead of only the bride.

This is how I understand it.

[kirra]

It's just like a bridal shower. I usually set a budget for the couple and split it between the shower gift and the wedding gift.

[cheeseandcrackers]

I was just confused by the concept I guess.

I understand a baby shower.. but when they already had a bridal shower, and now there is a couple shower, and the wedding is coming up in two months I was just confused. I am not shaming anyone that had a couples shower, ha, I just haven't seen them often.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 10:10:03 GMT -5 @booby said:

nad it's not MORE gifts. if i attend a shower i bring a gift. if my H and i attend a couples shower, we still bring that same gift.

having A shower (couples or no) is more gifts than if you didn't have a shower at all.  two parties = two gifts.  one party = one gift.  i'm rocking at math.

[eddy]

Jun 3, 2013 10:10:03 GMT -5 @booby said:

nad it's not MORE gifts. if i attend a shower i bring a gift. if my H and i attend a couples shower, we still bring that same gift.

Exactly

I prefer couple's showers. More chill, more booze and less chance of playing stupid games.

[eb777888]

Jun 3, 2013 10:11:20 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Jun 3, 2013 10:09:37 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

This is how I understand it.

I also had a couples shower so maybe I'm just biased lol

I know. Now, I KNOW I'm biased but I remember looking around at everybody drinking and eating mexican food at my shower and was like "damn, this is the best baby shower EVAH!" lol

[EloiseWeenie]

A couples shower is the same as a bridal shower, but guys come.

I had one. Before we were married, my H and I lived over an hour away. His close friends (really, the wives of his friends) wanted to throw a shower, but I wasn't very close with them yet. So, they threw a couples shower. I loved it, since I hate being the center of attention, so I could deflect the attention on H.

eta: I had 4 small showers, but with 4 different guest lists. The only people with multiple invites were bridal party/my parents- and I told them I'd rather see them than get a gift. 

[eddy]

Jun 3, 2013 10:11:32 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

I was just confused by the concept I guess.

I understand a baby shower.. but when they already had a bridal shower, and now there is a couple shower, and the wedding is coming up in two months I was just confused. I am not shaming anyone that had a couples shower, ha, I just haven't seen them often.

Oh see I wouldn't go to all of that. That is silly.
1 shower
1 wedding

If there are multiple showers then there should be multiple guest lists. Unless it is like a sibling then I guess it is assumed you are invited to everything.

[eb777888]

Plus, it was really cool for H to be there and open the gifts with me.

cheeseandcrackers, go and have a good time! Pray that there is booze there, lol.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 10:14:39 GMT -5 @booby said:

Jun 3, 2013 10:11:59 GMT -5 cville said:

having A shower (couples or no) is more gifts than if you didn't have a shower at all.  two parties = two gifts.  one party = one gift.  i'm rocking at math.

oh, i thought someone said that a couples shower is more gifts than a regular shower.  which may be true by virtue of the fact that there would be more attendees if there are two guests of honour, but the difference would be negligible.  i wouldn't by a bigger gift b/c there are two guests of honour.  i buy the same gift.

cville, your math skills are excellent, btw. 

and i was an english and art major!

[eb777888]

Oh, there's TWO showers you were invited to? Fuck that!

[EmilieMadison]

Jun 3, 2013 10:11:32 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

I was just confused by the concept I guess.

I understand a baby shower.. but when they already had a bridal shower, and now there is a couple shower, and the wedding is coming up in two months I was just confused. I am not shaming anyone that had a couples shower, ha, I just haven't seen them often.

Eh. Sounds like "confused by the concept" means "judging", because if you're truly confused by the concept of a party, I dont know that we can help you. Plenty of people have more than one shower before their wedding- a work shower, a shower with friends, a family shower. Having two wedding showers is hardly eye roll worthy. 

[eb777888]

Jun 3, 2013 10:18:13 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Jun 3, 2013 10:11:32 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

I was just confused by the concept I guess.

I understand a baby shower.. but when they already had a bridal shower, and now there is a couple shower, and the wedding is coming up in two months I was just confused. I am not shaming anyone that had a couples shower, ha, I just haven't seen them often.

Eh. Sounds like "confused by the concept" means "judging", because if you're truly confused by the concept of a party, I dont know that we can help you. Plenty of people have more than one shower before their wedding- a work shower, a shower with friends, a family shower. Having two wedding showers is hardly eye roll worthy. 

Yeah, but like eddy said, I wouldn't invite the same person to two showers (and I had like, four bridal showers, lol).

[pantsparty]

Yeah, I wouldn't be attending the "couples shower." How many fucking parties do you need to get married? For the love of God, people.

[hopecounts]

dup

[EmilieMadison]

Jun 3, 2013 10:20:01 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Jun 3, 2013 10:18:13 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Eh. Sounds like "confused by the concept" means "judging", because if you're truly confused by the concept of a party, I dont know that we can help you. Plenty of people have more than one shower before their wedding- a work shower, a shower with friends, a family shower. Having two wedding showers is hardly eye roll worthy. 

Yeah, but like eddy said, I wouldn't invite the same person to two showers (and I had like, four bridal showers, lol).

True, true. But I'm still wtf-ing at being confused by the concept LOL

[hopecounts]

Well etiquette would indicate that it would not be appropriate for you to be invited to 2 showers unless you're a member of the bridal party or an immediate relative (sister/mom/depending on the family Grandmother. I had 3 showers and was extremely careful to triple check with the hostesses that there were no repeat invites except MIL/Mom/Sis

So it's tacky that you were invited to another one but yes it's the same as a regular shower it just includes the guys and is usually far more laid back/casual then a ladies only shower.

[nomad100]

Jun 3, 2013 10:16:52 GMT -5 sameoldash said:

wait, they had TWO showers and you were invited to both? yikes.

If this was the case, then yes, it was a gift grab.  Unless you are in the bridal party or one of the moms, you should only be invited to/involved in one shower.

DH and I had a couples wedding shower hosted by one of my parent's friends.  DH and I lived OOT and so many hadn't met him yet.  So friend thought this would be a great way for this group of people to meet DH before the wedding (I have known this group of people for more than 30 years).  The only people invited to this shower that were at any others were the moms. (yes, I had more than one shower).

It was a blast.  And since it was in the evening...lots of booze which made it even better! 

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2013 10:26:22 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Clearly, some of you just have a limit to the amount of celebrating you wish to do for/with your friends. And that's okay, just don't go. Panties needn't be twisted. Think of it this way: maybe you were invited just because they didn't want you to feel left out if you did NOT get an invitation. Maybe they don't even WANT you there and it's just a pity invite. Feel better? Good. You're welcome.

fess up--you're throwing yourself a "just because it's tuesday" shower tomorrow, aren't you?  listen, i'm coming, but i'm NOT getting you anything off the registry.

[hopecounts]

Jun 3, 2013 10:26:22 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Clearly, some of you just have a limit to the amount of celebrating you wish to do for/with your friends. And that's okay, just don't go. Panties needn't be twisted. Think of it this way: maybe you were invited just because they didn't want you to feel left out if you did NOT get an invitation. Maybe they don't even WANT you there and it's just a pity invite. Feel better? Good. You're welcome.

I have no issue with lots of celebrating for friends/family I had 3 showers but to expect people to buy multiple shower gifts and a wedding gift is in bad taste.
If you just want to celebrate have a BBQ and don't call it a shower. Just call it a last hurrah before the wedding get together and have the hostess spread the word that no gifts are necessary. Done.

[cheeseandcrackers]

Eh, I wasn't trying to stir anything up.

I am still going to go and have a good time and celebrate with them. (with a gift )

It's not a huge deal, really! lol

[eb777888]

Jun 3, 2013 10:35:55 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

Poll: Which is worse? Mommy Wars or Wedding Wars?

Always Mommy Wars!!!