Baby eye contact?

[sonrisa]

That is normal.

[TrudyCampbell]

That sounds normal to me.

[Deleted]

We're at 6 weeks. We think she's starting to look at us more. I've heard it takes about 3 months for their vision to be like ours.

[carolinagirl831]

Not until 6 weeks, don't worry 3 weeks is still really young

[sonrisa]

Jun 19, 2013 21:51:18 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

Motherhood is like normal worry on crack.

Yes, yes it is. But that passes. 

[angelaa73]

the only thing a 3 week old wants to look at is this!

www.toysrus.com/buy/baby-toys/rattles-teethers/sassy-look-book-80021-3687559

[angelaa73]

[Deleted]

I say this with love, I think you need to start doing something about your anxiety.

I totally get it, I was so out of control with worry with my first. But it wasn't healthy for me. Maybe I am projecting... but would it hurt to talk with someone about it all?

ETA- I don't mean to sound insensitive, I struggle with anxiety.  I am probably projecting, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings

[lilybug]

I remember it took longer than I expected for DS1 to make real eye contact, I want to say 8-10 weeks at least. Maybe even 3 months. He's now a super-social, smiley, communicative 3 year old, so later eye contact really means nothing in the long run, IMO.

Try not to worry (easier said than done, I know.) You're doing everything right, she'll hit these milestones at her own pace.

[ax2]

Ds was 8 weeks or so before real smiles, and probably that long for eye contact, but I remember that less. He's still more interested in the ceiling fan than me. Lol.

[Deleted]

I, too, think you need to step away from the books and the guidelines and the internet and let your baby be a baby. Maybe talk to someone. Get on some meds or have a few orgasms or massages or something.

[copperboom]

Every baby is different. They go to the Dr so often when they're this young, and they check milestones. If she's not doing something that its important for her to be doing by a certain age, they will talk to you about it. Resist the urge to compare her to what other babies her age are doing. You'll only make yourself worry more.

[BAMFMrsB]

Jul 9, 2013 9:25:06 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

This is an old thread but I am bumping it back up. Harper is 6 weeks now and I feel like she rarely makes eye contact. I know some babies can take longer...She has looked at me but doesn't hold the gaze long and prefers to look at our ceiling fan.

She also hasn't given us a real smile yet. I try to talk to her and look at her and smile at her but she hasn't given us a true big smile. She has done them in her sleep and half smiles with gas. I am stressed out about it, like I am about everything.

I read online it can take up to 8 weeks for some babies to smile and make meaningful eye contact but I thought I'd ask here to see if anyone else's baby didn't really smile/do a lot of eye contact at 6 weeks.

BabyBAMF smiled for the 1st time on my birthday, = 3 months old (thereabouts). The eye contact thing, so not a big deal. Unless she's like 1 and not making eye contact, THAT is a big deal. She's still an infant. Babies seem to start clueing in to their surroundings around 3 months, but at 6 months its suddenly like "HEY! you're my MOM! I get it!".

Give her time. This whole outside the womb thing is life altering.

:::hair pets:::  

[rex]

V, she can still barely see clearly and probably doesn't know her name.

Your daughter is fine.

[candreco]

Seriously, stop stressing about this stuff, you'll drive yourself crazy! Babies are learning a ton of new stuff in a short amount of time, and they don't all do it in the same order. DD made would hold eye contact and smile at 6 weeks, but didn't have much control of her arms and hands. DS was around 8-9 weeks when he really started looking at us and smiling, but could stick his hands in his mouth earlier. Ages for milestones are averages, so remember that it's normal to be both earlier and later than the age given. And they change SO quickly. So if she's not doing something today, that doesn't mean she won't do it tomorrow. DD first few months are kind of a blur now, but DS has changed so much, and become so much more engaged just in the last 3 or 4 weeks.

Your little girl is a beautiful, healthy baby, and she'll do everything on her own unique timeline.

[ElizabethBennet]

Jul 9, 2013 9:34:37 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

calamity I know...I do need to do something about it because I have been so stressed lately and worried about her development. I don't know why, I guess I'm just reading these books and they have me convinced something is "wrong." I'm just a chronic worrier and motherhood has made it worse for me. First I was worried about BF and her weight gain and now it's this. It's always something, isn't it?

Coming here and posting about it and getting feedback makes me feel better and more reassured...

I was a/am a chronic worrier. I dissected every little thing D and compared her to all the babies I was reading about online. It's really really easy to fall into the trap of comparing your kid to everyone else's. Stop reading the books. Seriously. When you relax and just let things be you'll find that you're able to enjoy things more. It is so much easier said then done though.

[copperboom]

I would encourage you to talk to your OB about post-partum anxiety. It is of course normal to worry about your baby, but I think you should speak with a professional about whether your anxieties are within the range of "normal" or the result of PPA. I just want you to be able to enjoy your baby and not worry away this very special time with her!

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2013 9:34:37 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

calamity I know...I do need to do something about it because I have been so stressed lately and worried about her development. I don't know why, I guess I'm just reading these books and they have me convinced something is "wrong." I'm just a chronic worrier and motherhood has made it worse for me. First I was worried about BF and her weight gain and now it's this. It's always something, isn't it?

Coming here and posting about it and getting feedback makes me feel better and more reassured...

Yes, it is literally always something.  I worry about my 4 yo if he starts acting out, or if he can't say or word correctly... or whatever.

I've accepted having kids=worry.  Even when they are adults I am sure I will worry.

BUT I am really trying to focus on being in the moment because it really does go so so fast.  And for me, if I am worrying about all of this other stuff it takes away from enjoying what they are doing at that moment.  I get it, and I don't want you to not come here for reassurance, I know it does help.

Like I said, projecting- Party of one!

[anlo]

Jul 9, 2013 9:34:37 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

calamity I know...I do need to do something about it because I have been so stressed lately and worried about her development. I don't know why, I guess I'm just reading these books and they have me convinced something is "wrong." I'm just a chronic worrier and motherhood has made it worse for me. First I was worried about BF and her weight gain and now it's this. It's always something, isn't it?

Coming here and posting about it and getting feedback makes me feel better and more reassured...

The books can be a nice resource, or a total mindfuck. I think that maybe it would do you some good to put them away for now - or forever. I say this with love, as I had to do the same. It was just too stressful to worry about every.single.little.thing and I wasn't enjoying my baby.

Motherhood worry is like no other, that is true. However, if you really get to a point where you feel truly consumed with it, it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about it. Again, I say this as gently as I can, because I've been there (twice). It's really hard. Best wishes and hugs to you.

[Gato]

It's really normal to worry. The books make it worse, because every baby develops on her own little timeline, but you get in your head that there is only one right way for her to grow. I think we forget there's a really wide range to what is normal.

My older daughter actually DID have some developmental delays in gross motor for a while, requiring 2 years of PT. But here she is, 5 years old, and not even her teachers can tell. For whatever reason, she was just hanging out in one stage for a really long time. She caught up and everything is fine now.

[bella427]

Definitely babies = stress. Wouldn't hurt to talk to your OB about PPA though. Do you have a mom's group you could join? FWIW both of my kids just wanted to stare at the ceiling fan for at least the first 8 weeks. And they're both happy, social kids. I agree with LHC re: the books. I read every book I could get my hands on during maternity leave and I distinctly remember crying to DH at one point saying, "All these books contradict each other!"

[eddy]

Also remember this is why you have well child visits. This is the doctor's job to look for delays. It isn't your job. Your job is to sit back and enjoy.

Throw the books out. The do more harm than good.

[revolution]

I agree you should put that books away. And Dr. Google.

Get comfy clothes on, a blanket, a drink and snack, and cuddle up with her on the couch and watch some trash tv and let her nap in your arms.

The pedi will ask the appropriate questions at the WCC and they will let you know if anything is off. You should sit back and enjoy the infant stage, it will pass way to quickly.

[ElizabethBennet]

Jul 9, 2013 10:03:07 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

Jul 9, 2013 9:59:29 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

she loves you no matter what. no matter what you do.

read that again.

you are not an abusive mother. nothing you are doing to her will take her love from you. you are doing fine. just worrying a little too much and that's not your fault either. you brain chemistry gets fucked b/c of childbirth. take care of yourself

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I think I've had a lot of unexpected things happen...with Harper being in the NICU and then my recent surgery for the retained placental tissue. Maybe those things are contributing to me feeling more anxious. I actually did handle them better than I thought I would, to be honest.

Even without those extra things those first few weeks are hard. No matter how well you handle it your hormones are going insane. Add in the NICU and the surgery and it just makes it harder.

[cleo29]

Real, social smiles did not happen till closer to 8 wks, before that I think a lot of them are gas or just kind of a funny reflex or practice smiles.

The eye contact thing I think C did kind of early, but I don't remember for K. I would place C in her bassinet at night when she was drowsy, not asleep yet and she would just gaze at me for a while and then drift off to sleep.

But honestly, the eye contact thing was not even on my radar as something to be concerned over re: an infant. Is this more reading from that book?

[ElizabethBennet]

Jul 9, 2013 10:09:35 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

Jul 9, 2013 10:06:30 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Even without those extra things those first few weeks are hard. No matter how well you handle it your hormones are going insane. Add in the NICU and the surgery and it just makes it harder.

So true. I just have some days where I think I'm truly rockin' it. Like this past weekend I ran some errands, cleaned the house, cooked soup from scratch. I was like "I've got this" and I was so productive and also got to be with the baby a lot and she had a good day. Then there are days like this morning when she is crying almost the entire time she's drinking her bottle and then has a massive blowout that requires a bath where I'm like...what the heck is going on here? and then that spirals into worrying about everything else too.

Give yourself a break on those days. If the house doesn't get cleaned or you don't get your errands done then so be it. Like someone else said, snuggle up on the couch with her and just hang out. Nothing can make you doubt yourself like a baby can, even if you're the most relaxed person in the world.

[cleo29]

Jul 9, 2013 10:16:24 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

cleo29 yeah it's just from stuff I'm reading and seeing online. I hope she will make more eye contact soon. One thing I am trying to remember is that Harper sleeps a lot I would say more than the average baby so she has less awake time to practice those skills...

I say this with love, but you need to stop reading shit. I didn't even check what milestones were supposed to be and when because all babies will develop at their own pace and from my experience, they usually have a stronger area of development that will seem to be ahead of the curve while the others develop on the average. For C, it was a lot of the physical stuff.

Right now your baby can barely see, so she is probably drawn to things that are moving or doing something interesting to her mind. She is just taking it all in. I want you to enjoy this time with her because each stage has its own beauty and should be enjoyed. As an infant them sleeping on your chest and just being sweet a cuddly. When a little older smiling when they see you, starting to giggle (which C did not do for a long time, btw).

Just try to enjoy this time and stop looking for things to be wrong. She is a beautiful, healthy baby girl. And I am sure she is the most stylish baby on the block.

[revolution]

Jul 9, 2013 10:09:35 GMT -5 @theycalledherkate said:

Jul 9, 2013 10:06:30 GMT -5 ElizabethBennet said:

Even without those extra things those first few weeks are hard. No matter how well you handle it your hormones are going insane. Add in the NICU and the surgery and it just makes it harder.

So true. I just have some days where I think I'm truly rockin' it. Like this past weekend I ran some errands, cleaned the house, cooked soup from scratch. I was like "I've got this" and I was so productive and also got to be with the baby a lot and she had a good day. Then there are days like this morning when she is crying almost the entire time she's drinking her bottle and then has a massive blowout that requires a bath where I'm like...what the heck is going on here? and then that spirals into worrying about everything else too.

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but you are not alone....

My oldest is 5 1/2, and I have days where I'm all "I rock this mom thing".  And then there are days where the house is a disaster, everyone is crying, I have no clue what anyone is going to eat for any meal and I am counting down the seconds until bedtime because I just want to cry in a corner.  I think you get used to the crazy and out of control days.  Or maybe just numb to them.

[pepperpeople]

I know I'm just a dirty lurker, but I feel for you.. I could have written the same things about my son.. I worried and worried his entire first YEAR about everything, worrying he was delayed, and esp. about his eye contact. Everything I read online put me into fits. He was never doing what he was "supposed to." But guess what? He is FINE. Totally happy, healthy, awesome 3 year old.  One thing I remember making me feel better was reading that there are tens of thousands of little connections the neurons in their brain have to make in the first year, and every baby's just connect in different orders at different times.  I second whoever said to leave the assessments to the doctors - ours was very reassuring but I still kept worrying. I wish I hadn't lost out on his first year w/ all my worrying. This time around, I'm not reading anything about milestones and just enjoying the ride. Good luck!

[speckledfrog]

My kid didn't smile until 10 weeks. TEN! Too long, buddy. I don't remember when he made eye contact. It must have been by then but he was far more interested in everything else at that age. If you are on a BMB, do not listen to anything those women say in regards to milestones. I have a normal baby but I worried every single time because he was so far "behind" everyone else.