So. N got kicked out of daycare.

[sonrisa]

I've scanned the two emails and I'm pissed that she didn't mention returning the prorated June tuition.

ETA: I'm wrong.

[flex]

Jun 24, 2013 18:07:41 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I've read the two emails and I'm pissed that she didn't mention returning the prorated June tuition.

The letter ends saying that she'll leave a check.  I'm assuming the check is for the pro-rated tuition.

[sonrisa]

Jun 24, 2013 18:16:45 GMT -5 flex said:

Jun 24, 2013 18:07:41 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I've read the two emails and I'm pissed that she didn't mention returning the prorated June tuition.

The letter ends saying that she'll leave a check.  I'm assuming the check is for the pro-rated tuition.

My bad. I'm still annoyed with her, just not for that.

[pugz]

fuck them, they handled it SO poorly.

I am so sorry i hope the new school works out well for you guys.

[papie]

(((hugs)))

And yes they will be ok, but if it is possible I'd leave C there.

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 17:54:35 GMT -5 joenali said:

Just a question, not trying to be snarky at all. But are there behavior issues that you are concerned about with your child? It sounds like it has been ongoing. Have you thought about talking with a pediatrician about behavior issues? I know he's only 2, but it sounds like there might be valid concerns and obviously your daycare center didn't handle these concerns appropriately.

 No, totally valid question - yes, we've talked to our Pedi...she is a long time friend of mine so has had the benefit of being around N in social situations.  She has no concerns.

He acts out when he's not getting sufficient attention...in order to get attention.  So when you recognize him based on bad behavior, he keeps doing it.  But if you remove him from the situation, redirect and then a few minutes later address it with him and have him apologize to the child he hit/scratched, he is remorseful and doesn't repeat offend.

Trust me, I have looked at his behavior as objectivly as possible to ensure there isn't something else going on here.  I think the other issue is my oldest son is like model perfect behavior...so in contrast, N's behavior has seemed "bad" vs. just normal 2 year old development stuff.

I agree that he is more spirited than a standard 2 year old, but not THAT much more and truly think it's related to developmental milestones vs. a behavior disorder.

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 18:04:15 GMT -5 kooshball said:

How are grown adults scared of a 2 year old? It seems like the adults would have the advantage. heh

RIGHT.

I actually said to her "well, I wouldn't want his TEACHERS to be scared of him"

And she was like "I know, right!"

/sarcasm fail.

[Deleted]

Thank you guys for letting me vent this all out here. I'm so balled up about it and was desperate to post last week to get your opinions but had zero time with the new job.

re: the other school...I'm just not getting the warm fuzzy's with the teachers. I need to give it a week, so I promised myself not to make any snap judgements until then. H is going tomorrow to handle the transition stuff, so that will be good so we can bounce our impressions off each other.

[vanillacourage]

Jun 24, 2013 18:57:31 GMT -5 fields said:

He acts out when he's not getting sufficient attention...in order to get attention.  So when you recognize him based on bad behavior, he keeps doing it.  But if you remove him from the situation, redirect and then a few minutes later address it with him and have him apologize to the child he hit/scratched, he is remorseful and doesn't repeat offend.

.

Devil's advocate - is the ratio of the class such that this level of 1:1 attention is difficult?

I would also be frustrated but their reply email says all the things I'd want them to say. I'm sorry this is happening- must be incredibly stressful. I agree with the others though that in the (very) big picture this will be a blip.

[karmasabiotch]

Hugs...

I've been on the receiving end of behavior calls and they feel awful. You will find a setting that is better matched for both of your kids do that they can keep soaring. A spirited child is just like any other kid but has figured out his to get their needs met at a younger age. Later on its just called brilliant.

More hugs ...

[Deleted]

Holy shit. Huge hugs.

[livinitup]

Your email was amazing.

The director's response was nothing but cover my ass bullshit.

I think it's WONDERFUL that you settled them into another program so quickly. Of course you hate it, it was abrupt under terrible circumstances. You have every reason to believe you'll grow to love it, too. Maybe not as warm and fuzzy I'd much better for your family.

[Deleted]

i hate that they did this to you. HATE. what a bunch of disorganized aholes. seriously. i don't care how good their day to day care is, when you run a center you RUN a center.

i know you hate the new place now, but try to cut yourself and the new place some slack. new job, abrupt transition, people insulting your kid on the way out of the old place, tons of unfamiliarity, being the new family, new schooling system/philosophy, blah blah. there's a ton here that could be coloring your impression of the place. plus, you're all screwy and pissed off and sad.

[bab]

I'm so sorry.  This sounds incredibly stressful.  I really hope things fall into place.

[muffin0]

Ugh.

First. Cry. As much as you need. You are going through a huge change. It's okay.

Second. WTF?! Did you tell the director about how odd the teacher is re: switching HOUSES and all of that? She's obviously insane. If the director is saying that they didn't mean for him to be terminated, then bring him back! and stay on top of the director/teacher/shadower/plans.

He's effing two. I can't even imagine what could possibly happen that would make grown adults scared if a two year old. I mean I know you guys finally got the flame thrower issue under control, so what else could there be? 

I'm sorry. This teacher obviously doesn't think before she speaks. I mean seriously, it's clear. Is the director cool with him coming back? I know with my aunts school a teacher can't just say "he's fired from this day care" there has to be a lot of steps from a - kicked out. There is a protocol for a reason.

I want to throat punch this lady for you. If I lived close I'd seriously volunteer to bring C to school for you guys. I hate that both of your kids are getting punished because this teacher is a freaking idiot. 

Do other parents notice this crazy teachers behavior? You can't be the only one she treats this way.

Seriously I'm sorry. I wish there was more that I could do.

Edit : I just read everything else. and I think you answered everything..

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 17:56:30 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I am so mad on your behalf right now.

1) That teacher is insane.
2) Suggesting a nanny on less than 24 hours notice? WTF? It takes time to find a half way decent nanny in the bay area. They don't grow on trees.
3) Nannies around here are extremely expensive (as you mentioned). Imagining bare minimum hours for a couple working full time (and very short commutes) that is still going to run you $1000+/week.

This is how I feel
Www

[JayhawkGirl]

if the daycare - between the teacher, coteacher, shadowing teacher, director, asst. director and any floating staff cannot make it through a day with a child having a difficult day, they are in the wrong field. I am blown away that they asked him to go home that day, let alone terminated his care. This sounds like a poorly run center on all levels and while you've been happy with your older child's care, I hope you'll discover your old center wasn't as great as it seemed.

Kids hit. They bite. They scratch. They push. And we, their adults - parents, aunts, friends, daycare providers, etc - we help them learn how to better express themselves. It's part of growing up and everything you suggested sounds right on to me.

I think your old center is sucktastic, and hope things start looking up very soon with the new center.

[BunnyMacDougal]

Oh gawd, fields.  My heart broke reading that.  ((((((((fields))))))))))

C will be ok.  N will be ok.  Neither will remember these days at all.  Have a drink, love.  Jesus.

[starshine1977]

Jun 24, 2013 17:47:59 GMT -5 fields said:

Our policy has been if a child has a negative behavior that hurts another child three times in a day, then we ask for the child to go home. This was what happened on Tuesday this week. This is our policy because when a child is having that difficult of a day, it’s better for them to go home than to set them up for failure the rest of the day. 

This is what astounds me. Why would sending a child home be a logical consequence for them hurting someone? If the child is having a difficult day and continually "hurting" someone, then the teachers need to try different methods to work with the child. If they send them home, it's like saying, "Oh I can be bad and then mommy will come and get me early"- it's more of a reward for a child than a consequence.

I think you are lucky to be out of there. They clearly have trouble with positive discipline and being flexible with children who may need a little extra help dealing with controlling their behaviors.

*steps off soapbox* thanks for reading. As a preschool teacher myself, I just had to get that off my chest 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this tough situation. I hope your new school works out for you and your children!