I'm too hormonal and psychotic for this shit

[Deleted]

Background: Friend went to law school. A pretty impressively bad law school. She wants to be a news anchor for Fox News, so she starting doing pageants and got her boobs done while in school. Friend graduated school this past May, moved back to TX and is studying to take the bar here in August.



YOU GUYS SHE'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY WITH HER TERRIBLE LEGAL RHETORIC THAT SHE INJECTS IN TO EVERY FUCKING CONVERSATION. IT'S ALMOST SEUSSICAL. EVERY SENTENCE STARTS WITH "I'M NOT A LAWYER, SO I CAN'T GIVE YOU ADVICE". SO FUCKING STOP. NO ONE ASKED FOR IT. 

SHE TEXTING ME COMPLAINING ABOUT ALL THE STUDYING SHE HAS TO DO, WHICH YEAH, THE BAR IS HARD. BUT SHE'S TRAINING FOR SOME FUCKING MISS TEXAS PAGEANT SO SHE HAS TO WORK OUT AND TAN AND BLEACH THINGS ALL DAMN DAY SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIMMMMMMEEEEEEE TO STUDY AND LYFE IS SO HAAAAARD AND SHE'S TOTALLY GONNA QUIT LIKE, LAWYERING IF SHE DOESN'T PASS THE BAR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE CAN'T WAIT FOR AN 8-4 JOB. WE DON'T HAVE ANY MUTUAL FRIENDS WHO ARE LAWYERS WHO WORK 8-4. 

AND THEN SHE TOLD ME THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT A LAWYER AND CAN'T GIVE ME ADVICE, MY BABY IS LEGALLY IT'S OWN SEPARATE PERSON. OUT OF THE BLUE. AND THAT IS H DIED I WOULDN'T GET ANY MONEY BECAUSE IT WOULD ALL GO TO THE BABY. WTF. WTF. WTF.  



I CAN NOT HANDLE YOU TODAY, FRIEND. CAN NOT. 

[LeggsBenedict]

wut.

[Deleted]

She needs to shut her face. Does she have any redeeming qualities?

Having a baby is the perfect time to cut out people who are stupid.

[ax2]

Oh geez. I can't imagine how you handle her ANY day, really.

[leeann]

I don't know any lawyers who started out working less than 60 hours a week.

[Deleted]

She was totally fine until she graduated law school, but now she's insufferable. I'm hoping this is just some phase of crazy while she's stressed about the bar (and being pretty simultaneously) and things will calm down. If not, deuces you loon.

[Deleted]

 wow

[Deleted]

well, she's totally going to bomb the trusts and estates portion of the bar exam.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 9:57:51 GMT -5 leeann said:

I don't know any lawyers who started out working less than 60 hours a week.

Right? DOES SHE THINK SHE'S A UNICORN?

[fuckyourcouch]

(huh)

wtf. no.

[vicky]

[dcannie]

i am lol at her career plan, buuut, it seems like she would be just what fox is looking for so good for her.

[kaybee85]

How close are you with this friend? I might squirt some tanning lotion in her eye.

[LeggsBenedict]

I'm just trying to understand where she was even coming from with the, "hey, if your husband dies RIGHT NOW, that little tiny person will ROB YOU OF ALL YOUR STUFF" comment.

[candreco]

Unless she's an otherwise wonderful, amazing friend, I think you may need to drop her, holy crap.

[pixelpassion]

Jun 27, 2013 9:57:37 GMT -5 calamity said:

Having a baby is the perfect time to cut out people who are stupid.

THIS.

[rupertpenny]

8-4? LOL. My H is a lawyer with an easy government job and he still works more than that.

[pantsparty]

[Monica Geller]

Betty... I know you're pregnant so have one of these and WALK AWAY from your friend. Turn off the phone, computer, whatever... She's nuts and you don't need it! 

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:01:01 GMT -5 LeggsBenedict said:

I'm just trying to understand where she was even coming from with the, "hey, if your husband dies RIGHT NOW, that little tiny person will ROB YOU OF ALL YOUR STUFF" comment.

And apparently she's never heard of words like custodian. Or beneficiary. Or living trust. 

This baby has already robbed me of my beauty and my body, my finances are the next logical step for total domination. 

[rex]

She sounds perfect for Fox News.

[Deleted]

Watch. She'll end up being a fucking Texas Senator.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:06:22 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

Jun 27, 2013 10:01:01 GMT -5 LeggsBenedict said:

I'm just trying to understand where she was even coming from with the, "hey, if your husband dies RIGHT NOW, that little tiny person will ROB YOU OF ALL YOUR STUFF" comment.

And apparently she's never heard of words like custodian. Or beneficiary. Or living trust. 

This baby has already robbed me of my beauty and my body, my finances are the next logical step for total domination. 

and is wholly unfamiliar with the rules of estate succession.  you inherit before your kid.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:03:50 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I started out working 8:30-5 with an hour for lunch. But I don't count. I doubt I have the job she is dreaming of. lol

She thinks her starting salary will be like 95k. 

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:11:05 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

LOL! I agree that you need to ignore this chick. But I will admit, I kind of love her. Delusional people fascinate me. As do pageant contestants. I want to tan and bleach all the things!

Lol, this morning H said I will totally regret dumping her as a friend if we ever get rid of cable. When we saw her a few weeks ago at a party, he joked "she's like if Teresa Giudice took the LSAT". 

[Deleted]

Oh, and she's pissed that she did get some clerk offer in town for like 30k-ish, and she turned it down and was appalled and offended that they would offer her something so low because "umm, I HAVE LOANS". Also, she values herself too much to go lower than 80.

[Deleted]

I love newbie lawyer school grads. Many of them are like that. Personally, when not at work, I avoid legal discussion in any shape or form. Now I want to know what school she went to. LOL.

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:16:46 GMT -5 @bettyhomewrecker33 said:

Oh, and she's pissed that she did get some clerk offer in town for like 30k-ish, and she turned it down and was appalled and offended that they would offer her something so low because "umm, I HAVE LOANS". Also, she values herself too much to go lower than 80.

well, that was short-sighted. 

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 10:18:27 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

I love newbie lawyer school grads. Many of them are like that. Personally, when not at work, I avoid legal discussion in any shape or form. Now I want to know what school she went to. LOL.

Ave Maria School of Law in FL. 

[Deleted]

Jun 27, 2013 9:57:51 GMT -5 leeann said:

I don't know any lawyers who started out working less than 60 hours a week.

I did, but I also made $45k.  I probably did 30 hrs a week of actual work and the rest of my time was long lunches or shooting the shit with other lawyers in the office.  My next job paid substantially more, and I still didn't work more than 40 hrs a week.