Graduate school after a baby?

[Moe]

The research? That's work. Pretty much full time work. That was the crux of my comment. In fact, you get so happy when you are no longer doing lectures, since course load and workload gets annoying fast.

Again, this is not to discourage you, since many have done it, but I want you to have a realistic expectation of what research (ie work) really is.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 27, 2013 14:53:27 GMT -5 Moe said:

The research? That's work. Pretty much full time work. That was the crux of my comment. In fact, you get so happy when you are no longer doing lectures, since course load and workload gets annoying fast.

Again, this is not to discourage you, since many have done it, but I want you to have a realistic expectation of what research (ie work) really is.

Oh no, I totally understand that research is work.  Sorry I misunderstood your comment. 

[pt716]

Jun 27, 2013 14:07:36 GMT -5 Moe said:

That being said, there were some students in my grad program that had kids.  They were always called "the most effective" scientists, they were in at 8, out by 5 and would get shit done.  All of us would relax a bit and well, that's where the whole we're in lab 13 hours a day comes in.

IME this is also pretty dependent on the adviser, some just want you to get your stuff done, and some want you to be there 7 days a week, 12+ hours a day no matter what. It is definitely something to be aware of when choosing an adviser.

[nsl]

Jun 27, 2013 10:15:08 GMT -5 eddy said:

I am doing it with two kids and a full time job. I went back when Leo was 3 months old to work and graduate school. I was tired but I managed.

As long as you have childcare it would be no issue, IMO. I wouldn't suggest jumping in during the first 3 months, but after that I think it is all fair game.

Ditto.  I started my Master's program when my older son was 4 and my younger son was 10 months old.  It hasn't been easy and if I had it all to do over again I'd have gotten the degree before having kids, but we've made it work. 

[Moe]

Jun 27, 2013 15:06:32 GMT -5 pt716 said:

Jun 27, 2013 14:07:36 GMT -5 Moe said:

That being said, there were some students in my grad program that had kids.  They were always called "the most effective" scientists, they were in at 8, out by 5 and would get shit done.  All of us would relax a bit and well, that's where the whole we're in lab 13 hours a day comes in.

IME this is also pretty dependent on the adviser, some just want you to get your stuff done, and some want you to be there 7 days a week, 12+ hours a day no matter what. It is definitely something to be aware of when choosing an adviser.

This is imperative and absolutely true.

Advisers can make or break you.

#LearnedThatTheHardWay

[smock]

A few things to consider: many programs do not allow Master's students to TA, or only offer a limited number of TA positions, so you might want to research that.

I also agree that your advisor would be key in this situation: try to meet with potential advisors before you even apply to get a feel for the work load. From what I've heard from chem PhDs, it is a ridiculous amount of lab work. Like 13+ hour days. I know several history PhDs with kids, but then again a lot of our work involved sitting at home reading books, rather than being in a lab, so I'm not sure how comparable it is.

[awick14]

This makes me feel better. We are TTC right now and I am thinking of going back to school in 2015. Hopefully our baby will be a year or older by then.

I am currently doing online courses for the course though, and saving money to go back to school.

[sessy]

I did a 3 year masters program and had my twins at the end of my second year. I had infant twins for my entire last year, taking a full load and doing an internship. It's possible. I think I cried a lot though

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 27, 2013 15:37:55 GMT -5 smock said:

A few things to consider: many programs do not allow Master's students to TA, or only offer a limited number of TA positions, so you might want to research that.

I also agree that your advisor would be key in this situation: try to meet with potential advisors before you even apply to get a feel for the work load. From what I've heard from chem PhDs, it is a ridiculous amount of lab work. Like 13+ hour days. I know several history PhDs with kids, but then again a lot of our work involved sitting at home reading books, rather than being in a lab, so I'm not sure how comparable it is.

All of the schools I will be applying to fully fund their grad students, but I assumed it was as a TA or lab assistant. It could be other work, I'm not sure.

I know my opinion is also skewed because DH was in the humanities, which is vastly different.

There is definitely a lot to think about, thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it.

[catwithspots]

Not stupid at all! You just need to plan and take the amount of classes your feel comfortable taking within a semester.
DD was born in the middle of my master's program and baby 2 (due oct) will be born 2 year of my doctoral program.

I take two classes/6 hrs per semester for spring and fall and 1 class in the summer. What helped me was that I selected programs that were hybrid of online and online/live classes. Some classes were 100% online while some required 4 live meeting per semester. I balanced a 100% online with hybrid, so I was not out of the house in the evenings multiple nights. I also work ful time as well....alll can be done! Also, my DH is a super support system for when I need to be at a live class--this is a also a big factor--how much support will you have?

G/L!

[Moe]

Jun 27, 2013 16:20:39 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Jun 27, 2013 15:37:55 GMT -5 smock said:

A few things to consider: many programs do not allow Master's students to TA, or only offer a limited number of TA positions, so you might want to research that.

I also agree that your advisor would be key in this situation: try to meet with potential advisors before you even apply to get a feel for the work load. From what I've heard from chem PhDs, it is a ridiculous amount of lab work. Like 13+ hour days. I know several history PhDs with kids, but then again a lot of our work involved sitting at home reading books, rather than being in a lab, so I'm not sure how comparable it is.

All of the schools I will be applying to fully fund their grad students, but I assumed it was as a TA or lab assistant. It could be other work, I'm not sure.

I know my opinion is also skewed because DH was in the humanities, which is vastly different.

There is definitely a lot to think about, thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it.

Yes, it's so different.  It really is like a full time job (that's why it's one of the only disciplines (life/physical sciences) where you're paid to train (PhD at least).  Like you mentioned, your DH's humanities PhD is nothing like a physical sciences PhD.  It will consume you for a while.

And again, it's not to say that you can't do it (with children), but that magnifies your challenges even more. 

I was going to say that if you're debating between a PhD and a Masters, I'd go for the PhD.  Mostly because if you're in 2-3 years (after your quals) and you decide that you don't want to finish it, you can "leave" with your masters - i.e. many programs (after you achieve dissertator status/passed all your qual exams) you've technically "satisfied" all the requirements for a Masters.  (Not saying you'll quit, but it removes the added level of annoyance of applying for a PhD program if you've finished your MSc and decide you want to go for the PhD.

Does that make sense?

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 27, 2013 19:19:33 GMT -5 Moe said:

Jun 27, 2013 16:20:39 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

All of the schools I will be applying to fully fund their grad students, but I assumed it was as a TA or lab assistant. It could be other work, I'm not sure.

I know my opinion is also skewed because DH was in the humanities, which is vastly different.

There is definitely a lot to think about, thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it.

Yes, it's so different.  It really is like a full time job (that's why it's one of the only disciplines (life/physical sciences) where you're paid to train (PhD at least).  Like you mentioned, your DH's humanities PhD is nothing like a physical sciences PhD.  It will consume you for a while.

And again, it's not to say that you can't do it (with children), but that magnifies your challenges even more. 

I was going to say that if you're debating between a PhD and a Masters, I'd go for the PhD.  Mostly because if you're in 2-3 years (after your quals) and you decide that you don't want to finish it, you can "leave" with your masters - i.e. many programs (after you achieve dissertator status/passed all your qual exams) you've technically "satisfied" all the requirements for a Masters.  (Not saying you'll quit, but it removes the added level of annoyance of applying for a PhD program if you've finished your MSc and decide you want to go for the PhD.

Does that make sense?

Yes totally!  Thank you!

[beefjerky]

It's tough but doable. I had my first when I was writing my thesis during my masters, took a year off and then started my PhD when my 2nd son was 8 weeks old - I would NOT recommend this. Both my masters and PhD are in the sciences. I would go into the lab in the morning, work all day then come home to be with the kids and DH until bedtime and then go back to the lab until 1, 2, 3, etc. AM. Oh, and I adjuncted at our local community college as well. I know my DH felt like a single dad a lot of the time and honestly, I do feel like I missed a lot early on with my boys but we made it work. It's funny, I'm on the tenure track now and just had my third DS 7 weeks ago and it's been the easiest by far. My colleagues were saying how stressful it was going to be having a kiddo on the TT and I kind of laughed. Nothing could have possibly been harder than my PhD with 2 under 2!

[MWOS]

I just wanted to add that I miss nursecramer

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 28, 2013 9:12:36 GMT -5 nursecramer said:

Jalapeñomel Would you be going for chemistry? Are you looking at R-Is?

MWOS ygpm.

Hi nursecramer! Glad to see you around these parts again!  We are moving to NYC, so I am looking at schools in the general area.