My H is OOT and this morning I woke up to this email.
In my life and in our marriage, you have opened little doors to so many amazing things. These doors of support, inspiration, independence, love and caring have made the last 5 years filled with joy. I love the way you let me be, support me in my career and make being your partner in life easy!
Because you have opened all of these little doors in our relationship to make it so special, today on our 5 year anniversary, you get to open a little door and see what is inside. In our house there is a brown little door that is close to a tribute to use. It’s in plain sight and you mostly likely walk by it daily. In there you will find your anniversary gift!
So I go crazy running around the house until I find this small drawer (it's part of a stand holding a cable box). In it were 2 jewelry boxes. OMG! I was so excited.
Except...I don't like them I feel like a big jerk. We're starting to go through financing on our house and we pretty much agreed on no gifts this year (except we obviously broke this rule, I bought a trip to Palm Springs for us last week). Plus he's been traveling for 3 weeks straight and I have no idea when he went to the store. I am so, so touched - he obviously put a lot of thought into these pieces, but they're just not my style
The earrings have 5 small diamonds in a row and the band has 5 vertical notches. I spoke with H this morning and told him the clasp on the earrings are really difficult but I could get the band resized. This, of course, after I thanked him profusely and told him how sweet and wonderful he was.
That's a really sweet an thoughtful thing he did. Any chance they'll grow in you? Like, maybe every time you wear the ring you'll remember the amazing email and the surprise anniversary gift? They're not really my style either but they are simple enough that I think I'd keep them and try to wear them a lot until they grew on me.
But if you really don't like them, then it would probably be better to get something that you WILL wear than to let those sit in a drawer for years and years, with your husband wondering why you don't like his gift.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
I like SueSue's suggestion. H has gotten me things in the past that were incredibly thoughtful but not my style, and I just wear them on certain occasions to show that I appreciate the gift (even if I didn't necessarily like it).
H got me earrings I didn't really like years ago and I'm afraid he just could tell on my face straight away so we did exchange them though I still felt pretty rotten about it.
It would be a pity to keep them in their box and never wear them, especially when the sentiment was so lovely. could you perhaps use the cost as an excuse? These are too much, we need to change them type thing?
Eeek that's a hard one. I think in the long term you'd be better off exchanging them for something you'd wear often if not daily. I've run into this a few times with my H, in both directions actually.
Post by nightandday on Jun 28, 2013 9:55:52 GMT -5
Your H sounds very sweet. The gifts may not be your style, but do you think the symbolism behind them and the sweet memory of them will make them grow on you?
My H got me a necklace for Christmas that was beautiful but NMS. I couldn't tell him because I knew he'd be crushed. I've made an effort to wear it when we go out and it makes him so happy to see me wearing it, that I have grown to love it because of how much he loves it.
Yeah see, I know. I am crying over here because he is the MOST WONDERFUL MAN ever and I feel TERRIBLE for not loving them. Just a horrible ungrateful person.
I'm thinking I should accept his wonderful gifts. But I also kind of don't want to encourage this taste. LOL.
He really is so amazing. I am incredibly lucky.
I guess this is a MY DIAMOND JEWELRY IS NOT MY STYLE, Y'ALL, right? LOL.
Post by liverandonions on Jun 28, 2013 9:58:46 GMT -5
Happy Anniversary wedding twin! I think they are lovely-Hopefully you can find special occasions to wear them on, and otherwise keep them safely stored.
Post by pedanticwench on Jun 28, 2013 10:01:54 GMT -5
Look, I think you need to accept the gifts and go from there.
Make sure you wear them every now and then, especially when you go out to a fancy dinner or do something with his family (so you can show them off to them).
I just don't know how you can tactfully ask that he return these and get you something else without hurting his feelings.
Last Edit: Jun 28, 2013 10:02:25 GMT -5 by pedanticwench
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by cheeseandcrackers on Jun 28, 2013 10:04:47 GMT -5
I think they are adorable. But I would keep them and encourage this behavior, but perhaps show him more of your style when you go by a jewelry store or something in the future.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Jun 28, 2013 10:06:37 GMT -5
i mean, what do you think his reaction would be?
almost always, if i give a gift like this that requires me picking out something that would normally be personal preference, i immediately say, "if you don't like ____ i totally understand and will take you to exchange it." or something similar. if my h gave me some jewelry i wasn't crazy about, unless it was an extenuating circumstance, i would probably fess up that they were not quite right and i don't think he would be butthurt. but only you can know that!
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Jun 28, 2013 10:13:53 GMT -5
As, so sweet! Happy Anniversary!
My H bought me some jewelry early on that was not my style at all. I was honest with him. He wasn't upset at all. He wanted me to have a gift I loved and would wear often. We went back and picked something out together. I think it helped, because ever some then he has done a killer job at picking jewelry for me. Maybe that makes me a ungrateful brat, but whatever.
I think you have to keep them, but I also think they are lovely and would be happy to wear them. If they were actually garish I would feel differently though.
Post by pantsparty on Jun 28, 2013 11:07:36 GMT -5
Ugh. I know if I give an expensive gift, I fall all over myself saying, "If you don't like it, you can return it!" I talked twice to H this morning, but he's driving in the boonies and it was really broken up. I feel like if he doesn't give me an opening like that, then I should just say I love his gifts and wear them on special occasions. I just feel horrible he spent this kind of money and I don't want to wear these every day
Post by LeggsBenedict on Jun 28, 2013 12:03:37 GMT -5
oh damn, I hate that feeling
for me, I would tell my h. but I also had a full on breakdown once over a gift (not because I didn't like it, I LOVED it, but it was expensive) so he always tells me to be totally honest with him. I would still feel bad telling him, but I would tell him.
Your DH could give my DH lessons on how to give gifts. That is seriously so sweet and thoughtful. My DH got me a watch for our 10 year anniversary that I HATE. Want to know how he gave it to me? He picked me up for lunch on our anniversary and handed it to me when I got in the car. Not wrapped, no notes, nothing. We had a special date night that night and that would have been a perfect time to give it to me, but no. He literally bought it at Costco on his way to get me, and handed it to me. I think he was just excited but come on man, try a little harder. I hate to admit that I am going to Costco today to see if I can exchange it for something I like. He is after me to go get it sized and I have no idea how to tell him I hate it. I'm contemplating telling him that I went to get it sized and they found a defect so I took it back to Costco and got something different.
pantsparty I'm curious though; what about the jewelry isn't your style?
I think maybe the edges of the jewelry are not my preferred style. I like for the metal to be a very thin line; I don't know if that setting has a name, but the white gold is just barely visible on the edges.
For some reason the ring looks a little masculine to me; I think it's partially the square-cut diamonds.
It's still all very lovely. Trust me, I feel like dirt picking apart such a thoughtful, kind gift from my husband like this
Dude, I'm tempted to send MH the message your H wrote as a suggestion for future anniversaries. LOL. (I won't, but it's really so sweet and cute.)
The jewelry is very pretty, but I can't see you picking those out yourself. They're not really your style. I wonder if the place he got them from would do an exchange for something you like? Ugh. Tough situation.