I have to admit, I've never understood the difference between "fun" guys and guys you marry. Presumably you marry a guy because being with him is such a good time that you want it to be permanent, right? And things you wouldn't want in a husband are things that you just plain don't like and wouldn't find to be any fun in the short term either, no?
To me it was mostly guys with non horrible deal breakers. They only were living in my city for the summer. They were in grad school and leaving soon. They were nice but I didn't want to leave my area and wasn't ready to get married so why not go out with someone just for fun for a while?
Post by farfalla2011 on Jun 14, 2012 15:58:58 GMT -5
I'm actually just not much of a dater. I prefer to just get to know people and assess whether I'm interested before going on actual dates. I've met a lot of people - most that I'm not interested in - and feel like I've gotten a pretty good idea of what is out there. I also am one that feels really bad/guilty going on a date with someone that I'm already pretty sure I don't have a future with. I'd rather go have fun with friends for entertainment rather than on dates. I reserve dates for people I actually want to try and have a relationship with.
And this is actually how I met BF, we met getting coffee at work, talked and got to know each other for about a month and then went on a date and today it's been 3 months since our first date
My point was why are so many people searching for that 1 guy? why does it have to be so serious? why cant you just date a lot of different guys to find out who is the right one? why does the goal have to be marriage and children and thats it?
I guess while and after my divorce I wanted nothing to do with another LTR I wanted to test the waters...visit different places....try new flavors etc...i wasnt on the hunt for a new H.
I hope that explains it ok
I understand....and my whole POV of dating = hopefully marriage has really been a major problem in my past relationships. Some of it has been colored by my self-esteem issues, some comes from my religion, and a bit from other issues that I'm working through.
It can be a good prospective, if you're in it for healthy reasons.
Then again, there are a lot of women out there who are desperate to get married because they're:
A. Afraid of being alone B. Believe that they need someone to "complete them"....