Has some sort of disordered eating. I know this is probably a mind your own business situation, but it's becoming very difficult to be around her.
She is excessively critical of other women- calling them whales, making fun of their body shape and general fat shaming. This morning SO and I did a fun run and all she talked about was how overweight some of the women runners were and how she can't imagine "running with all that jiggling." It's all so catty.
She so talks about calories nutrition etc. nonstop and seems to have a history of over exercising.
So my question is...do I just try to ignore this or should SO and I mention our concerns to future BIL?
The older I get the less I have time for people's shit. I would call her out and say those are awful things to say and if she wants to waste her thoughts on that negative crap, feel free, but you don't want to hear it.
If she really pushed me past my limit, I would tell her that she is demonstrating an amazing lack of empathy and maturity that is only reflected poorly upon herself. I doubt I would be pushed far enough to actually say that.
She sounds awful. I would definitely not keep quiet. Maybe something like "Honestly, I try not to judge people based on their appearance." Hopefully it will make her feel bad. LOL.
She told me this afternoon that she wasn't asked to be in her brother's wedding party because she was too skinny and would make the bride look even bigger.
Um, no. You weren't asked to be in his wedding because you are a bitch. And also, your excessive skinniness isn't healthy or attractive.
OMG. She sounds like a bitch. Yes, I would shut her down, and often. If she has more than two brain cells to rub together, she'll take a damn hint that she can't get away with that around you.
Yeah, I think telling her to STFU is called for. That is incredibly rude, especially considering at a run, those "jiggly" people are bettering their lives and if it is a benefit run, bettering the lives of others.
I would definitely tell her to cut it out next time. It's beyond rude. I wouldn't stand for it and listening to it without telling her how you feel about it is just leading her to believe you have no problem with it.
I will never understand why people give a shit about my fat. It's not affecting her so she needs to shut her trap. Can you tell I have met people like this before?!
She told me this afternoon that she wasn't asked to be in her brother's wedding party because she was too skinny and would make the bride look even bigger.
Um, no. You weren't asked to be in his wedding because you are a bitch. And also, your excessive skinniness isn't healthy or attractive.
Yeah. That's the point I would have straight out said "no. It's because you're a horrible person."
She told me this afternoon that she wasn't asked to be in her brother's wedding party because she was too skinny and would make the bride look even bigger.
Um, no. You weren't asked to be in his wedding because you are a bitch. And also, your excessive skinniness isn't healthy or attractive.
I cannot roll my eyes hard enough. This chick is whack.
Post by thedutchgirl on Jul 6, 2013 23:55:20 GMT -5
Please next time say something like "yeah, I don't think that was why you weren't asked to be in the wedding."
If she asks what you mean, all the better. You can tell her that her hypercritical attitude is off-putting. Or tell her that the next time she's nasty for no reason.
We're all up the cabin this weekend, so if she says anything tomorrow at breakfast I'll be giving her a look and making a comment. Because really. What a bitch.
Well, she clearly isn't concerned about not making waves so I wouldn't concern myself with keeping the peace if it means tolerating bullshit like that.
Depending on your relationship with your BIL, I'm not sure I'd have a problem letting him know his girlfriend sucked. What does your H think of her? Does she only say this kind of stuff around you?
Depending on your relationship with your BIL, I'm not sure I'd have a problem letting him know his girlfriend sucked. What does your H think of her? Does she only say this kind of stuff around you?
SO feels the same way and she spews this crap around the whole family.
I wouldn't talk to BIL. I'd ask this girl why the fuck she's being such a straight up bitch next time she says something horrible. Not very diplomatic, but I have zero patience/tolerance for that sort of asshole behavior.
Post by angelailovefood on Jul 7, 2013 0:42:15 GMT -5
I just completed a disordered eating rotation. The patients were obsessed with not only their appearance, but everyone else's too. They were discouraged from doing so and had to talk about why they focused on other people in therapy. It's a way to take focus off herself. She most likely has a lot of self loathing.
Her parents may have also taught her that fat= gross, lazy, not good enough.
I like Nicbree's idea. Anything you say will not make her stop until she gets some professional help, but maybe she will stop that crap around you.
wow, she really sounds like a douche. how old is she??
I have had a history of ED and ive NEVER said or felt any of those things towards others. I would compare myself to others, (maybe this is what she is doing and trying to make herself feel better)
I def would say something to her. She is prob hiding behind all the negative/mean talk to make herself feel better, but WOW, really hurtful.
Def say something, make her realize her words are hurtful and unacceptable and that maybe she needs to take a good look at herself........sheesh
I'd just give her looks like "ouch. How mean" every time. Or, like I was judging her. Lol.
I think that would cut more than words.
It's weird, though. Most disordered eating that I have witnessed has been only about them. They generally don't care as much about others. They are more obsessed with themselves.
I don't know if PPs have said this, but could it be she was "heavy" in her own mind at one point and now it is almost an obsessive type thing? She needs to be the skinniest, prettiest snowflake in the whole city, otherwise she might freak out?
I've had a close friend who obsessed about her weight and how other people looked because her self esteem was so low, but she covered it up by grand standing herself.
As someone has already said, my friend wasn't able to feel better about herself until she accepted professional help.
She told me this afternoon that she wasn't asked to be in her brother's wedding party because she was too skinny and would make the bride look even bigger.
Um, no. You weren't asked to be in his wedding because you are a bitch. And also, your excessive skinniness isn't healthy or attractive.
Well now you're doing exactly what she's doing.
If it bothers you (and it would bother me), I would say something to her about it.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg