My MIL asked me before Christmas if I wanted a Coach purse- her SIL is high up at Coach and gets her a big discount, so I think she's bought me four since H and I have been dating. I responded that I had enough of them, but thank you, but on Christmas morning I opened a Coach purse that is completely NMS. She said, I know you didn't want another one, but I didn't know what else to get you. I haven't carried it yet, but she emailed me this morning
I just realized that I have never seen you with the handbag we got you for Christmas.
Maybe you are saving it, if not, I feel bad if I got you something that you don't like.
If you don't like something, we can always return. My feelings will not be hurt.
I'm not sure how to respond, but I feel really bad!
I don't know what your relationship is with your ILs, but if she is offering to exchange/return, I would go for it. Mine wouldn't be offended by it, but I don't know yours.
Hmm, is your MIL a "strings attached" kind of person? If my own mother wrote this and I was honest with her, I would never hear the end of it. If my MIL wrote this, she would mean it genuinely and I could be honest with her. I guess it just depends on who she is as a person.
You shouldn't feel bad at all in this situation. You told her you didn't want the purse, she gave it to you anyway, and now she's being horribly rude by calling you out on not using it. I'd be honest in your reply and tell her that the purse really isn't your style.
I don't think at this point it could be exchanged, it's more than six months later, and I just really didn't need another purse! She has bought me some cute ones in the past, but this one is not my style. I attached it-there are C's that are sort of etched in, and it's that shiny material.
This either a very good or very bad thing. Either, she cares enough about you , to care if she got you something you would like for Christmas, or she's going to use this to manipulate you and make you feel guilty for rejecting her Christmas present for the rest of forever.
My SMIL always gets me a Vera Bradley purse, for Christmas. I always go through the website, and find a few that I like, in a price range that I would feel comfortable receiving, and show them to her and talk about how cute each one is. Maybe you could do something similar?
I don't think at this point it could be exchanged, it's more than six months later, and I just really didn't need another purse! She has bought me some cute ones in the past, but this one is not my style. I attached it-there are C's that are sort of etched in, and it's that shiny material.
I take back what I said.
I didn't know Coach could be fug
I know! She has gotten me some beautiful leather ones, and even a fun bright pink one that I use in the summer, but ugh.
i would have to consult with my husband about this because it's not just your mil, but also his aunt, involved in this whole rigamarole. presumably, he has more experience with all of this.
it sounds genuine and heartfelt, even if at christmas she apparently was all "uh, der, i didn't know what to get you" like coach only makes ugly handbags and not shoes, clothing, and other leather sundries. i wouldn't feel too bad about not using it. she asked, you said no, she did it anyway. it's not like she didn't have fair warning.
She's being kinda rude pointing out that you don't use her gift. It's not her business whether you use it as its intended or as a recyclable grocery bag.
"It was a very thoughtful gift and I have been enjoying it. Thanks again!"
I think the right answer is to have it exchanged but I know I'd probably just say I use it only on occasion and be sure to have it out the next time she was around.
Use it a few times (when you will see her or post facebook pics) and sell it! That's probably not the right answer either but it's a completely different choice. Lol
I think the right answer is to have it exchanged but I know I'd probably just say I use it only on occasion and be sure to have it out the next time she was around.
No no no no no no no. White lies in this situation don't help anyone. We already know that her mil pays attention to whether she uses it or not. Why perpetuate the cycle of ugly purses?
Use it a few times (when you will see her or post facebook pics) and sell it! That's probably not the right answer either but it's a completely different choice. Lol
I think it's weird that this is just now coming up.
Did you talk to your H about this when you first got it? Presumably he knows that you have never cared for it. I feel like he would have mentioned an exchange at the time if it were a feasible option.
I think the right answer is to have it exchanged but I know I'd probably just say I use it only on occasion and be sure to have it out the next time she was around.
No no no no no no no. White lies in this situation don't help anyone. We already know that her mil pays attention to whether she uses it or not. Why perpetuate the cycle of ugly purses?
I also agree with this. This woman will be buying you gifts for a loooong time. It helps everyone if there is some gentle honesty here. She will be less stressed when it comes to buying gifts for you and you will be happy with the gift.
I think it's weird that this is just now coming up.
Did you talk to your H about this when you first got it? Presumably he knows that you have never cared for it. I feel like he would have mentioned an exchange at the time if it were a feasible option.
I think it's weird too. Yes, I told him I didn't like it. I really didn't want to exchange it because I didn't want another purse, I just figured I wouldn't use it, I didn't think she would call me out on it!
She's being kinda rude pointing out that you don't use her gift. It's not her business whether you use it as its intended or as a recyclable grocery bag.
"It was a very thoughtful gift and I have been enjoying it. Thanks again!"
Fin
This.
Just because someone doesn't see you use something doesn't mean you've never used it....she doesn't know you never technically used the purse.
It's funny, I never say anything about the things my MIL gets me that I don't like, but I'm very honest about the stuff she buys for A so that she learns what I like and doesn't continue to buy stuff I don't like in the future. So basically I'm a hypocrite bc I would recommend that you be honest so that she has a better idea of what you like/don't like for the future.
It is crazy that she would call you out on not using it. I agree, that is not the most attractive Coach purse I have ever come across. I would probably respond along the lines of using it as a gym/beach bag or something like that to keep her happy and to keep the peace.
She's being kinda rude pointing out that you don't use her gift. It's not her business whether you use it as its intended or as a recyclable grocery bag.
"It was a very thoughtful gift and I have been enjoying it. Thanks again!"
Fin
This.
Just because someone doesn't see you use something doesn't mean you've never used it....she doesn't know you never technically used the purse.