Moms: are toddler gifts the norm in your set or

[sonrisa]

do most birthday party invites come with a "Your presence is your present. No gifts please." note?

Around here 3/4 say no gifts. I'm wondering if it's a regional thing.

[iamgrace]

We do presents.

[4speedy]

I've never been requested to not bring a present for any typical gift giving situation, toddler parties included.

I'm in the Great Lakes region.

[gretchenindisguise]

We do small presents. Under $30.

[papie]

always gifts here

[Jermys]

We do gifts. Between $20 and $40 depending on how close we are.

[candreco]

We've tried to request no gifts and been to parties where it's been requested, and it always ends up that half the people bring one anyway, which makes the other half feel bad, and it's just not worth it. Most gifts seem to be in the <$20 range, if that, so it's not there's tons of cash being blown on elaborate kid gifts for every party.

[sonrisa]

So regional, I guess. The parties are also more low key than the ML norm. It's usually sandwiches, cake, juice and playing at park/redwoods/beach rather than bounce castle and pony ride extravaganzas.

[sonrisa]

Jul 12, 2013 11:37:00 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

We like things here in the South. More is better. We aren't as enlightened as you West Coast guys.

lol. We like our trees big but our toddler toy messes small.

[marshmallowhands]

Jul 12, 2013 11:36:33 GMT -5 candreco said:

We've tried to request no gifts and been to parties where it's been requested, and it always ends up that half the people bring one anyway, which makes the other half feel bad, and it's just not worth it. Most gifts seem to be in the <$20 range, if that, so it's not there's tons of cash being blown on elaborate kid gifts for every party.

This is us too. We had 3 parties earlier this year that said "no gifts". I respected that and was one of only a couple of people w/o a gift. I felt like a schmuck. From now on I'm bringing something!

ETA: we're in central coast California so maybe it is regional?

[ginap]

I put no gifts on C's first birthday party invite and most people didn't bring a gift. I'm in SoCal.

[Booze Raccoon]

I've never seen that. I'm in the north east.

[lilafowler]

I've heard of it but I've never actually seen anyone do this for a child's birthday party.

As much as I would love to put "PLEASE NO MORE TOYS" I think it's rude to put on an invitation not to bring a present because that's presuming you were bringing one in the first place. Make sense?

[Deleted]

We do presents. However, one thing I noticed at parties is that parents weren't having the kid open gifts at the party, and I was like wtf, watching them open gifts is the best part. Then we opened gifts at DS' party and I realized why parents of toddlers opened gifts at home. We'd be opening little Suzie's present and Suzie's mom would be like, don't let Suzie see that because she already had a tantrum about not being able to keep it, and will start crying if she sees it again! This didn't even occur to me.

[adhdfashion]

My Mom tried to throw no gift party. It failed miserably. She has had great success with consumables party's. Craft supplies, bubbles, play dough and the like. Being the requested gifts. She did this to cut down on the toys. With 8 kids, we already had every toy ever made in three colors.

Sent from my SCH-S720C using proboards

[angelaa73]

It's half and half. With more 'bring a backpack with school supplies to be donated' creeping in.
DO GOODERS

[circa1978]

My SIL hosted a birthday party for her 7-year-old (the first party my niece has had outside of cake at home with mom and dad) and her friends were asked to donate to an animal shelter in her name. Everyone did it and she didn't get any questions, so I think it's becoming more normal.

[sonrisa]

Jul 12, 2013 12:17:07 GMT -5 angelaa73 said:

It's half and half. With more 'bring a backpack with school supplies to be donated' creeping in.
DO GOODERS

These or "donate to PETA" slightly rub me the wrong way. Which is very silly since I like donating backpacks and philanthropy and such. The beauty of a no present birthday is in part that you don't have to worry about timing. I want to donate a backpack when I remember to get my lazy ass in gear, not on your schedule. lol. Although I don't resent shopping for an actual present in time for the party. That's fun. So basically I'm ridiculous. 

[CrazyLucky]

We haven't been to many parties. The ones we have held for DD and DS, we write, "We sincerely request no gifts" on the invitation. Other than family, most people honor the request. I am in the south now, but as has been pointed out to me many times, I'm no southerner. Both DH and I are from the northeast.

[dragonfly08]

I'm from NJ and live in VA. I think I've seen one invitation that requested "no gifts please". I brought one anyway, just in case, and was glad I did because most of the other guests did as well.

[statlerwaldorf]

I haven't been invited to a birthday party with a no presents request. It seems like family only parties are more common out here for the younger kids.

[rex]

Here, if you say no gifts you still get a gift. Which, I mean that's nice and all but to me it usually means the kid has a shit ton of toys and their parents don't want more!

[Alyssa]

I've seen half and half. Some say no presents needed, some don't say anything...I had one specifically ask for only eco-friendly toys.

[sugarbear]

We do gifts around here.

[evynsmama]

I'm in SoCal and never get invites not requesting gifts in fact I have gotten the opposite lately that have clothing sizes listed along with type of toys or books the child likes.

If people ask I tell them we prefer clothes or books because her birthday is in November and she gets plenty of toys at Christmas

[lolly]

We usually do gifts.

My kids' first birthday party is next weekend and someone asked me if they were registered anywhere. Wtf? Please tell me that's not becoming a thing.

[sonrisa]

Jul 12, 2013 14:47:12 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

Jul 12, 2013 11:28:17 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

do most birthday party invites come with a "Your presence is your present. No gifts please." note?

Around here 3/4 say no gifts. I'm wondering if it's a regional thing.

You speak the truth.  Here I know nobody has any room, but why over there? It can't be anti-materialism. Lol. 

We're more hippie up here than you think. It isn't the peninsula. We still have a bit of the "granola, cows, trees, hemp and the dead" vibe going. We still send our kids to play with cardboard boxes, pick roadside blackberries and splash in creeks.

We had lunch in Burlingame yesterday (near FIL's hospital). I always get surprised at how yuppie and brand conscious it is down there. 

[trafficgirl]

Jul 12, 2013 15:16:51 GMT -5 lolly said:

We usually do gifts.

My kids' first birthday party is next weekend and someone asked me if they were registered anywhere. Wtf? Please tell me that's not becoming a thing.

I've seen some people start an Amazon Wish List for their kid(s). It started as a Christmas thing, but then they just kept it going because it was helpful for (in particular) parents/grandparents. I actually don't mind this, because I know I'll give something that the child (or parents) would actually want or need and not just something random.

As for the OP, I have seen an invite or two saying no gifts or if you really feel the need you can donate. I think I've also seen ones where people request books instead of toys. I wasn't able to attend any of these birthday parties, though the ones I have attended people did bring gifts and it wasn't specified not to on the invite.

ETA - and I'm in Washington (state)

[sawyerthedestroyer]

After sending invitations people have asked me what DS likes and I beg them not to get him anything because he has enough stuff, but they still do.

If I got an invitation that requested no gifts I wouldn't bring a gift and I wouldn't feel awkward about it.

[purplelemon]

Everyone here does gifts. I recently went to a first birthday, and the Mom requested donations to Children's hospital instead of gifts. I donated online and brought a card to the party. I am the ONLY one who didn't bring a big wrapped present.