pacifiers

[mouseinlux]

What age do you think kids should be off the pacifier? Today I saw a kid who had to be at least 4 if not older with a pacifier in the grocery store..mJor side eye from me! I'm hopping to get E iff of hers full time by 2...she just has it to sleep and in the car now.

[frlcb]

One thing I have learned is you can never judge a child based on how old they are - my almost 4.5 year old is always mistaken for being 3, or younger. Always. He is really small. We hung out with someone the other day who was 2 and looked 4. Kids grow at such different rates that you can't really tell how old they are without actually knowing.

Saying that I do think if the child was 4 then they were too old to be with a pacifier. But, not my child so not my choice. DS never took one and dd only has one in her crib now at 14 months.

[anna7602]

DD was never into a pacifier. However, weaning her off the breast was so freaking difficult that I can only imagine a pacifier would have been a similar battle. Had she been as attached to a pacifier as she was to my breast, I may not have had the willpower to take it away from her for a good, long while.

That said, most of DD's friends at home had their pacifiers taken away from them around the time they started pre-school. The school where I used to send her absolutely would not allow pacifiers in during the day. Her school here in France is much more lax about that and I have seen some kids (not many) at pick-up and drop-off with pacifiers in their mouths.

ETA: Preschool at home started at age 2. DD's preschool here has mostly 3 year-olds in her class who were turning 4 this spring or will be 4 in the fall.

[bugabean]

I've seen kids that look easily school-aged, walking around and having full conversations with them in, yet MIL has been passive-agressive about Bug's use since DAY ONE. She recently switched from passive to just flatly stating she needs to get off it immediately over brunch with people I barely know also present.

Maybe that kid's mom has an annoying MIL too and they don't take it away just because it gets on her nerves.

[popcorn]

I would prefer for Aurelia to be off it entirely by two years. So far we are down to only using it after feeding t night (though she usually spits it out and sucks her thumb) and to calm her in the stroller/in the car when we can't do anything else. She really doesn't need it the rest of the time.

Yeah, I think a 4 year old kid with a pacifier would've been just as well sucking his thumb since the argument is that a paci is easier to take away.

[clogged]

I think by 2.

[irish]

I don't like pacifiers AT ALL, but that's a personal thing. N was never given one, she sucks her thumb. Dh said the other night that if/when we have another child he wants to give them one. I am totally against it.

If a parent feels they should give one to their child it should be gone by the time the child is starting to speak - how can a child learn to pronounce words correctly with something stuck in their mouth? Maybe a bit later for bedtime, but certainly not when they are awake.

As I said, it really is a personal pet hate for me...

[crimsonandclover]

We used one from the beginning with DD, and I love them. DD has self-regulated when she needs it, and during the day she hardly ever uses one, it's basically only for napping and sleeping at night (and for soothing if she falls and hurts herself). I don't worry about pronunciation because 1) she's not speaking yet, and 2) she doesn't normally use it during the day when she would be talking.

[frlcb]

Jun 16, 2012 15:23:25 GMT -5 irish said:

I don't like pacifiers AT ALL, but that's a personal thing. N was never given one, she sucks her thumb. Dh said the other night that if/when we have another child he wants to give them one. I am totally against it.

If a parent feels they should give one to their child it should be gone by the time the child is starting to speak - how can a child learn to pronounce words correctly with something stuck in their mouth? Maybe a bit later for bedtime, but certainly not when they are awake.

As I said, it really is a personal pet hate for me...

I was totally anti pacifier too, but then I realized it is a lot easier to take a pacifier away than a thumb and if they were going to suck on something a thumb would be worse. Most kids I know with pacifiers only take them when they sleep, so the speaking thing isn't an issue. I agree it is as they get older.

[ninjatofu]

Only one of ours uses a binky, Kaitie. We plan to have her off of it by 2 (August). Right now it's only to sleep with and to soothe if she is really upset.

We worried about getting them off bottles, but it was so much easier than we thought it would be. We basically ran out of nipples for the bottles (kept getting chewed) so one night when we only had one we gave them milk in sippie cups instead - not a big deal. We haven't used bottles since.

[bugabean]

spin-off: Curious how many sippie cups you have, tofu.

[ninjatofu]

We're down to 5.

[ninjatofu]

And instead of buying more, we run around like lunatics looking for them, diving under couches and beds - the girls get involved in the hunt as well now, which helps. Though they can't remember where they left/flung them last.

[bugabean]

We have 3, and I still haven't gotten rid of the bottles because they are back-up sippy cups. It's awful. I need to just go buy some more.

[tktravels]

For those of you who dislike pacifiers, may I ask why?

I'm not yet a mom (7 more months!!), but I spent a lot of time babysitting and nannying when I was younger. I never really thought about pacifiers much though, and definitely have not formed an opinion on them.

[allibally]

Jun 17, 2012 4:26:55 GMT -5 ninjatofu said:

And instead of buying more, we run around like lunatics looking for them, diving under couches and beds - the girls get involved in the hunt as well now, which helps. Though they can't remember where they left/flung them last.

I had to do this constantly with one family I babysat for. She had one good sippy cup and one bottle for at night. I was constantly looking under things to find it and asking the girls to help me look.

[elenetxu]

Can't prolonged use of a pacifier affect muscle development and therefore speech? I was giving English classes to a speech therapist who worked in pre-schools last year and I was fascinated when she told me about children who, at an "advanced" age were still eating baby food and/or using pacifiers and the ways in which it affected their speech. That would scare me.

[ninjatofu]

I miss Knitty.

Surely she would come on here and tell me what a rubbish parent I am for being too cheap and lazy to buy more sippie cups for my kids.

[frlcb]

Jun 17, 2012 5:58:15 GMT -5 elenetxu said:

Can't prolonged use of a pacifier affect muscle development and therefore speech? I was giving English classes to a speech therapist who worked in pre-schools last year and I was fascinated when she told me about children who, at an "advanced" age were still eating baby food and/or using pacifiers and the ways in which it affected their speech. That would scare me.

Not all speech therapists think this, I have a good friend who is one and asked her about it and she said there is a train of thought that a pacifier doesn't make a difference to speech at all. But some think it does. Who knows.

We have sippy cups coming out of every pore. Lila finds them. plays with them, loses them and then I buy more. Then we find them. It is ridiculous!

[cupcakes]

Jun 17, 2012 5:58:15 GMT -5 elenetxu said:

Can't prolonged use of a pacifier affect muscle development and therefore speech? I was giving English classes to a speech therapist who worked in pre-schools last year and I was fascinated when she told me about children who, at an "advanced" age were still eating baby food and/or using pacifiers and the ways in which it affected their speech. That would scare me.

Yes they can. Anything past a year effects muscle development.

[ninjatofu]

Frlcb: we left ukyankee's house around 11 the other night with the twins and thought we left one at her house. We nearly drove back for it right then!

[frlcb]

Jun 17, 2012 6:24:05 GMT -5 ninjatofu said:

Frlcb: we left ukyankee's house around 11 the other night with the twins and thought we left one at her house. We nearly drove back for it right then!

I probably would have I am so tired of buying new ones because we think we lost them and then finding them like a week later. Usually in a place we looked for them and they weren't there but somehow they show up!

[Deleted]

We broke Q of his paci habit at about 2 years BUT have I ever told you my why I don't ever judge other parents parenting decisions story (unless they are telling their kid to shut up or hitting them)?

Q was going in for some blood work on a Monday morning and wasn't allowed to have anything to eat from 7PM Sunday night until after the bloodwork on Monday morning. He didn't have the bloodwork taken until about 9AM and we were meeting friends at the zoo directly after (it was Spring Break at school and the blood test was scheduled after the trip to the zoo - in hindsight I probably should have changed the zoo day but he was so excited about it).

I couldn't get him to eat anything because he was slightly upset by the "lady who pinched my arm momma." So we rode on to the zoo and while at the zoo, he was so distracted I got him to eat maybe one box of raisins. Our zoo doesn't have food in the off season so about 12:30 we left and drove to the nearest chik fil a but by the time we got there to eat, he was in full meltdown mode. I couldn't get him to eat any of his lunch at all and his eyes started rolling back in his head and he was throwing a huge temper tantrum. I realized that he was probably really low on blood sugar so dragged him to the counter bought him a milkshake and force fed it to him. He finally came around and started acting normal again but this group of women behind me were chatting loudly about the whole situation and all agreed that they would NEVER give into a child's temper tantrum and give them a milkshake, they would have marched his butt straight out of there.

So the moral of my story is those women had no idea why I chose to give him a milkshake but jumped to conclusions anyway....So maybe that parent has a reason that child still has a pacifier.

[frlcb]

Jun 17, 2012 17:14:03 GMT -5 @heyyall said:

We broke Q of his paci habit at about 2 years BUT have I ever told you my why I don't ever judge other parents parenting decisions story (unless they are telling their kid to shut up or hitting them)?

Q was going in for some blood work on a Monday morning and wasn't allowed to have anything to eat from 7PM Sunday night until after the bloodwork on Monday morning. He didn't have the bloodwork taken until about 9AM and we were meeting friends at the zoo directly after (it was Spring Break at school and the blood test was scheduled after the trip to the zoo - in hindsight I probably should have changed the zoo day but he was so excited about it).

I couldn't get him to eat anything because he was slightly upset by the "lady who pinched my arm momma." So we rode on to the zoo and while at the zoo, he was so distracted I got him to eat maybe one box of raisins. Our zoo doesn't have food in the off season so about 12:30 we left and drove to the nearest chik fil a but by the time we got there to eat, he was in full meltdown mode. I couldn't get him to eat any of his lunch at all and his eyes started rolling back in his head and he was throwing a huge temper tantrum. I realized that he was probably really low on blood sugar so dragged him to the counter bought him a milkshake and force fed it to him. He finally came around and started acting normal again but this group of women behind me were chatting loudly about the whole situation and all agreed that they would NEVER give into a child's temper tantrum and give them a milkshake, they would have marched his butt straight out of there.

So the moral of my story is those women had no idea why I chose to give him a milkshake but jumped to conclusions anyway....So maybe that parent has a reason that child still has a pacifier.

Amen. I was way judgier before I became a parent and realized that the perfection I believed I would have as a mom was laughable once I became a mom. You never know the reasons behind any parenting decision unless you helped make it.

[Deleted]

Before I had a kid I had "RULES"...My children would never eat fast food, they would never watch TV, they would never sleep in my bed, they would fit into my life - I wouldn't fit into theirs.
I laugh at pre-kid me all the time

[ktkl09]

I'm not anti-pacifier but I think age 2 is a good time to stop.

There are way too many 4 and 5 year olds at my school still using one (mainly for nap time, but it's still in their mouths 30 minutes later)!

I like to think my kids won't need one, but I doubt that will happen when we have kids.

[bugabean]

Jun 17, 2012 17:14:03 GMT -5 @heyyall said:

So the moral of my story is those women had no idea why I chose to give him a milkshake but jumped to conclusions anyway....So maybe that parent has a reason that child still has a pacifier.

Amen.

[irish]

Why don't I like pacifiers? (there may be no factual truth/science to these, but they are my perceptions, so they matter to me...)

1. It's another thing to sterilise - or rather "things" as it is unlikely that only one will suffice. And a constant need to sterilise every time it is dropped... PITA in my books.

2. But as they get a little older, and they drop it and manage to pick it up is it really safe? Like, where have they dropped it?

3. I don't like the look of them in a baby's mouth, not even an infant.

4. Any one that I know has had their sleep disrupted because of them - baby goes to sleep with pacifier, wakes during the night (as we all do as part of our normal sleep pattern) and can't settle themselves again because they don't have the pacifier and they can't find it... defeats the whole goddam purpose if you ask me... Thumb - end of hand, always there...

5. They are ideal breeding grounds for germs...

[frlcb]

Jun 18, 2012 5:43:33 GMT -5 irish said:

Why don't I like pacifiers? (there may be no factual truth/science to these, but they are my perceptions, so they matter to me...)

1. It's another thing to sterilise - or rather "things" as it is unlikely that only one will suffice. And a constant need to sterilise every time it is dropped... PITA in my books.

2. But as they get a little older, and they drop it and manage to pick it up is it really safe? Like, where have they dropped it?

3. I don't like the look of them in a baby's mouth, not even an infant.

4. Any one that I know has had their sleep disrupted because of them - baby goes to sleep with pacifier, wakes during the night (as we all do as part of our normal sleep pattern) and can't settle themselves again because they don't have the pacifier and they can't find it... defeats the whole goddam purpose if you ask me... Thumb - end of hand, always there...

5. They are ideal breeding grounds for germs...

it is totally fine to not like pacifiers, no one is saying you have to But to be fair many of these reasons can be fixed easily or do apply to thumbs as well. Anything a baby touches that has germs is then transfered to their mouth via their thumb. We don't sterilise them, we wash them in the dishwasher but being exposed to some germs is actually good for a baby/toddler. DD has 4 or 5 pacifiers in her crib so we never have to go in and give her one.

For us the main thing is that we can always take away a pacifier but can't take away a thumb! I hate seeing older kids sucking their thumbs, it is bad for their teeth and grosses me out for some reason!

We are trying to ween dd off the pacifier now actually, she is 14 months and took it out of the car, next step is the crib

[irish]

Jun 18, 2012 6:23:46 GMT -5 frlcb said:

it is totally fine to not like pacifiers, no one is saying you have to

Someone had asked previously why those who didn't like them didn't...

On this it is each to their own. I'm just gearing up for one hell of an argument with my dh who told me last weekend that if we have another child he is definitely going to give the child a pacifier!!! And he agreed with me about the lack of one for N. But now he thinks that she wouldn't be so loud and annoying if she had one cos we could have just put it in her mouth and it would have shut her up!!!

(It is a totally seperate issue, but he thinks she is very demanding/anoying compared to other babies and that she gets way more cranky and noisy (like giving out noisy) than other babies... she just likes to have attention and doesn't like to be ignored, which he does sometimes... so of course she is noisy - she is trying to get his attention! I don't think she is any more noisy than other kids, she just likes to keep moving when in the buggy)