So I am pretty sure I am decided on my phantom baby names but now I'm playing some James Taylor and I love the song "Sweet Baby James."
The problem: I have a cousin named James (nn Jimmy). He is named after his father who is no longer my actual uncle because my aunt divorced him. I haven't seen him for I don't know how long. A decade?
I have 13 first cousins (one deceased). Do you have to discard a name just because someone else in your family has it? WDYT?
Yeah the thing is none of the cousins have had "repeats" yet and I'm one of the last ones to spawn. I only like really traditional names though so this is hard.
We have to because we are Jewish. It's bad luck to name after the living and preferable to remember those who are gone by naming babies for them. My grandma passed last year and DH's dad is gone as well, so we will likely use their names as inspirations for the baby.
Yeah the thing is none of the cousins have had "repeats" yet and I'm one of the last ones to spawn. I only like really traditional names though so this is hard.
Yeah, but with 13 its bound to happen. James is a cute name
No, I don't think so. My H has lots of first cousins, his mom has 12 siblings and the each had 5-6 kids so there are a few cousins who have the same first name.
If you're not close at all with the cousin and you're not Jewish (for reasons pp mentioned), it's fine to use James.
I had to discard a name because it's my cousin's ex-wife's name. I was considering asking this cousin to be DD's godfather, so that made it a big no. However, I have other cousins who are so distant I have no idea if they even have current or ex-wives, much less knowing what the names are.
Post by whitepicketfence on Jun 21, 2012 6:10:44 GMT -5
I think that's fine, especially when you come from a larger family.
DH has a cousin with the same first and last name as his. I think that's weird since he lives right down the street from us and is fairly close to us in age as well.
We have to because we are Jewish. It's bad luck to name after the living and preferable to remember those who are gone by naming babies for them. My grandma passed last year and DH's dad is gone as well, so we will likely use their names as inspirations for the baby.
This. It's also how my sister and I were named, thankfully though my parents couldn't use exact names b/c we're named for our great grandfathers.
Both my girl and boy names are for passed family, the middle name for a girl is my middle name for my mom's deceased sister and the boy middle name is my mom and DH's middle name.
Post by fortmyersbride on Jun 21, 2012 6:43:27 GMT -5
I think it's fine, especially if they are traditional names. My sisters and I are all named after aunts and great aunts. DD and my cousin are both named after my grandmother, and it has yet to cause confusion. But I also come from a big family with lots of cousins.
True story- DH's family is like the Brady Bunch plus him(he is the only child his parents had together, but both were previously divorced. MIL has 4 children from a previous marriage, FIL 2 kids). Anyway, DH has two brothers named James, his dad, his grandfather, and an uncle. Yeah, so when you say Jim, a lot of heads turn! No one is worse for the wear. DS' middle name is James(figured it covered a lot of family).
DS' first name is taken from an uncle who passed away(his middle name). Some people said there was a distant cousin with the same first name, but we had never met him, nor do we have any proof;)
Anyway, I think it is fine to name your future child James:)
One of our top names was also one of my cousin's names. I have 19 first cousins and then my own 3 brothers, it narrows the name pool!
Some of my cousins were pregnant at the same time as me and family was concerned about "calling" names, but even then I didn't care if we used the same name. None of us live in the same place and none of us have the same last name so I didn't see what the big deal would be if any of us used the same first name.
I think you can totally use James. My sister's name is Caroline (nn Carrie) and my cousin just named her baby Caroline.
But I also might be biased b/c I have a James and I love that name ;-) We are hoping he continues to go by James but it will be up to him if he wants to use a nn when he is older.
No. For one, names are not owned by a single person. For another, any name (unless completely made up) is going to be shared by someone, maybe even someone in your family or social circle. And James is a super common name throughout the ages.
We have 4 generations of the same name in my family so far, and my oldest nephew has stated he plans to use the name for a 5th generation. DH was named after his dad. 2 of DH's cousins and their kids all have variations on the same name.
No. We did eliminate one name that we were considering because DH's aunt would assume we named DD after her (very much not true), but names of cousins were fair game.
Post by barefootcontessa on Jun 21, 2012 8:08:27 GMT -5
I think it is fine for you to name a baby James. I have a James and think it is a great name. We mostly call him James or some times Jamey. GL with you situation.
We did. My #1 baby name was Patrick, but I have a cousin named Patrick. We're not close, but every time I said or heard the name, I thought of him, and I didn't want to have to deal with having the dual association.
We also did this with James, which I love but is the name of DH's BFF.
For me, it's not about being unique, or "stealing" or "owning" a name...it's just that I didn't want to have to unpick the previous mental associations to give it to our child.
Post by belovedbride07 on Jun 21, 2012 8:57:30 GMT -5
I think it's fine. James is actually the top of our boy name list even though I have several extended family members who have it as a name component because it was my great-Grandpa's name. I wouldn't use it if my brother were planning to (it is also his middle name), but I'm not worried about repeating beyond that.
Our top girl name is Anna, and my step cousin just named her baby that. I was irrationally annoyed at first, but I got over it and realized I can still use the name.
Trying for #3; FET 8/18 -- BFN. Leaving things up to chance for now... After three years, three IVFs, and two FETs, we finally have our miracle babIES!
I think in your case it's fine - if you saw him six times a year, that might be different. I have 30 first cousins, but I see them all fairly regularly (at least once a year). I personally would not repeat one of their names.
I have a first cousin with my first name. She's much older than me, though (15 or 20 years) and I never see her. I have no problem sharing the name. I think it belonged to a great-grandmother or something. (Yeah, my dad's side of the family is NOT that close).
Post by schrodinger on Jun 21, 2012 9:29:25 GMT -5
I say go for it. I've never counted the total number of first cousins that I have. My mom is one of 8 kids, and had the fewest number of children (4). Add in divorces and step-cousins, and I think I've got 40 or so cousins. Not a chance I'm eliminating all those great potential names.
You never really see the guy, you're obviously not close, just do it! And I LOVE James Taylor and think its a great name
Post by sewpinkgal on Jun 21, 2012 11:15:52 GMT -5
My husband is one of 21 first cousins and there are already 20 (and growing!) second cousins. Why yes, is he from a large Irish Catholic family! We like traditional names, as do most of the other family members, so we've decided that repeats are okay. We only get together as the huge extended family a few times per year so I really don't think it's all that strange.
There is also a tradition of passing down a name through several generations (my son is J, the third) so that alone means there are repeats. I think if you like it, go for it.
Oh, and by the way, James is a fabulous name! Not that I use it a thousand times a day or anything.
Imagine it the other way. How would I feel if my cousin named her daughter Hanna? I wouldnt care.
See I'm a hypocrite then because I would think it kinda weird if one of my cousins named their kid my name. But my name isn't as common as James. Also I talk to all of my cousins except for James and his sister at least a few times a year.
Good thing I have a lot of time to ponder this question.
Blake is my grandpa, dad, brother, first cousin middle name & another first cousin's kid's first name. My brother, my first cousin & 2nd cousin are all named Michael...thecousins have the same first AND last name--Lol! I used family names a lot...it's no biggie.
I have a cousin that shares my exact first/middle/last name. Oddly enough, we had different last names until I got married (she is not h's cousin). I also have a two male cousins with the exact first and last name combos (again, the last names are totally coincidental, not part of the same family). Anyway, no one cares.