Post by game blouses on Sept 11, 2013 13:26:19 GMT -5
DH and I have been talking about this lately. From a young age, he always knew that working hard resulted in success. As a result, he was valedictorian of his high school, went to a very prestigious university, is very well-regarded and successful in his career, and has a killer body.
I never really made that association. Everything in elementary school came easily to me, and when it was harder in junior high and high school, I just got bad grades instead of working harder. I work out but have never really believed that I will look or feel any different when I finish.
Post by Kristinmo on Sept 11, 2013 13:34:36 GMT -5
I have always believed that hard work increases your chances of success. There are always exceptions- those that have success without trying hard (nepotism, naturally gifted, etc) and those that work hard and still don't succeed because of circumstances.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
I guess I've always felt like persistence was more important than hard work, necessarily. Kind of like a "never give up on your dream and never let anyone tell you that you can't do it" kind of person. I feel like my success in life involved hard work (a lot of it!), a little bit of luck/good timing, and never giving up. I didn't ALWAYS have to work hard, but most of the time I did. Not sure if that makes sense.
Post by game blouses on Sept 11, 2013 13:39:54 GMT -5
I learned that I had to work hard in grad school, where I was taking 25 units at once and had to maintain 4.0, but before that I was just bewildered when things didn't go my way. I hope we can instill the value of hard work in our kids without pressuring them a lot.
I think persistence is more important than hard work, but hard work is a close second. Most successful people have goals and fail many times before they succeed. I also think success is so subjective. Some people just want to be happy, and are ok with not fitting the societal definition of success. For those people, it may not require much hard work to be successful.
It's not a level playing field, but hard work in some areas can certainly yield success, think weight loss.
I get frustrated because I have PCOS and can lose all kinds of weight, and them bam, it just comes back on for no reason. It's hard for me to see hard work as the means to an end with weight loss when it's not fair, lol.
Post by pixelpassion on Sept 11, 2013 13:43:05 GMT -5
I think I'm more of the mindset, "work smarter, not harder."
This comes to mind when I think of college in particular. I have friends that would study for hours and work their asses off, but their study habits were ineffective and they'd struggle anyway.
It's not a level playing field, but hard work in some areas can certainly yield success, think weight loss.
I get frustrated because I have PCOS and can lose all kinds of weight, and them bam, it just comes back on for no reason. It's hard for me to see hard work as the means to an end with weight loss when it's not fair, lol.
Certainly it doesn't apply to someone who has a health issue that makes weight loss harder than for the average duck.
I have PCOS too. I am just chubby after having kids and have not put real efforts into weight loss yet though.
"Work smart, not hard, Danny" said Ed Conner to Dan on Roseanne. Everything in life can somehow come back to a Roseanne episode.
The hard work thing didn't really dawn on me until college. Until then everything had been easy. I wasn't so good at it and it took a few really terrible jobs for me to start busting my ass. Now, I absolutely relate hard work with success. It just took me a while to get here.
Post by EmilieMadison on Sept 11, 2013 13:51:16 GMT -5
Not really. I knew that working hard gave greater potential and opportunity than doing nothing. But, I also realized pretty early on that who you know, how smart you are, how well you interact with others, and luck often play an even greater role in success.
I also feel like I work really, really hard, but living with small people it sometimes feels like I am spinning my wheels. I know when I am getting on top of the laundry something is bound to happen to cause a sudden laundry pile-up. Roll the rock up the hill and rolls back down, rinse and repeat.
No. Not really. I knew that hard work was a potential indicator of success, but when I was very little I was labeled as "smart," and that opened a lot of doors and made things very easy for me in a lot of ways. I didn't have to work very hard for things when I was little, and I think as a result I came away with the notion that hard work increases your chances, but if you're not either gifted with a skill or very, very lucky, your odds aren't as good.
Exactly this for me too. I wrote my Master's thesis on this actually - belief in hard work versus believing you're just smart enough to do it. It seems like each will only take you so far without the other.
I would also add that hard work without knowledge can be useless in some situations. You can work hard all you want, but if you don't have the expertise you will just be spinning your wheels.
I think it can increase your chances of success, but I think that for a lot of people, luck can equal success and for others hard work can be overlooked. I feel like hard work increased your chances in past generations more so than my generation.
Very interesting, I was just talking with some friends about this earlier this week. We read this article - The Trouble With Bright Girls. It discusses the ways in which success and intelligence are approached differently for boys and girls growing up: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls
ETA: An illustrating quote "Researchers have uncovered the reason for this difference in how difficulty is interpreted, and it is simply this: more often than not, bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice. "
This is a great article! It really hits the nail on the head. DH loves improving and learning at everything; I like mastering something and if I can't master it fast enough, I quit.
Post by CurlyQ284 on Sept 11, 2013 14:25:14 GMT -5
Actually some of the most successful people I know do nothing at work. They have great personalities and are likeable but they slack off. They become a favorite of a higher up, get promoted etc. One of the most successful people I know is a single guy who lives in a 5 bedroom mansion in a gated community. He oversees an entire department. He plays WoW in his office all day.
I think these cases really kill my motivation. I'm trying to work extra hours at work and getting denied. BUT other people are able to, and they take 2 hour lunches, come in late etc.
I think it's a combo of being driven, plus being able to form connections that help open doors.
My friend is very driven, this is from his LinkedIn account.
He's now a Senior Manager at a huge company. He was driven since I met him at age 16. At that time, he was in charge of the Candy Stripers at our hospital, volunteered with the homeless, played soccer and was working on being an Eagle Scout.
Post by FastHands on Sept 11, 2013 15:36:18 GMT -5
Yes, I used to. Sure, certain things come easy to me and don't require as much work as others, but in general, the more work, the better the result. So even if I could get an A without working too hard in a class I found easier, I knew that if I worked harder, I could get an A+.
I think I find real life hard to handle in some ways because that doesn't hold as true anymore. Specifically with TTC, there isn't a G-D thing I can do more than I have, but it may never happen. And I feel sourt of floundery without that focus. I was always very purpose-driven, and now I feel purpose-less and generally incompetant. I have days where I don't even know why I bother getting out of bed, because I'm not *doing* anything, even if I go about my day. If that makes sense. My existence changes nothing. In other words, I'm regressing back into my teen angst. heh