Post by partiallysunny on Sept 26, 2013 9:13:38 GMT -5
The Time of the Unknown - I remember nothing until I'm 5
Bittersweet - Time I'm around five and I remember hugs and love.
Unloved and Lonely - Grade School
Transition - High School. I find I great group of friends and start to learn who I am.
Freedom - Right after high school. I have job ($) and a car. I was a hooligan.
The Blur - Period in which I have multiple jobs into technical school. I'm tired all.the.time, but I survive.
Doubt - When I land my first "real" job, I have feeling of not being worthy of my minor success.
The War - Doubt creates major tension between H and I. We get married anyway.
And Peace - After marriage, with the help of TIP, we go right into therapy. Learn to communicate and not be so hard on each other.
Learning to Love (Survival) - Pregnancy, birth, and the first year.
Contentment - years between kid turning one and The Great Move. Marriage is good, kid isn't so helpless, and job pays the bills.
The Great Move - period of travel, buying a house, and moving. Lots of stress, but great personal satisfaction as well. Being careful not to have another episode of Doubt.
When everything is large- all I can really remember is 3' and lower
Carefree fun- elementary school. H swears I lived a Mayberry childhood
Awkward turtle- middle school I was awkward and my best friend was the hot girl (IE got boobs first) Fashionista/clumsynista- strutted high school with my friends in fantastic shoes but couldn't balance in sneakers
High jinks and chaos- dated, had a fun group of friends, started college. broke up with long term bf. Started to figure things out about working, school and life
Optimistic and excited- transferred to the University I graduated, moved far from home. Started Dating DH
72 hours and counting- Design school, making lifetime friends, staying up for days to get things done.
Am I really an adult- graduating, procuring work as an Interior Designer. Planning a wedding.
It was the best of times and the worst of times- Getting married, realizing Spain is a fantastic country. Being robbed and having a lot of unknowns out there professional. YOLO- traveling the world, doing whatever H and I want, moving, enjoying life.
A time of waiting- h is looking for a different position, I'm considering changing jobs.
Post by wrathofkuus on Sept 26, 2013 9:42:06 GMT -5
I am so glad that I'm not the only one who imagines life in text form. Do you do the thing where each book in your life has multiple sections, all the same events but told from drastically different perspectives?
I am so glad that I'm not the only one who imagines life in text form. Do you do the thing where each book in your life has multiple sections, all the same events but told from drastically different perspectives?
I am so glad that I'm not the only one who imagines life in text form. Do you do the thing where each book in your life has multiple sections, all the same events but told from drastically different perspectives?
Yes I do sometimes think about that. There is what I feel happened, and what really happened. Especially as a teenager.
The times I don't remember This would be a basic run down of my toddler years... the stuff I was too young to remember, but I know stories about. Basically, the boring stuff before things got interesting
Fighting The immediate time right after my parents divorce. The highlight was my dad pushing my mom's boyfriend's car into my mom's house (with his car) and my mom slapping my dad across the face with a 2x4. All within 2 minutes.
A life of sin Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They know everything that's going on, even if you try to hide it. Besides, even if you tell the kids to go play in the basement while the adults hang out upstairs, it's not like a split level house provides much privacy from top floor to basement floor. We can hear (and sometimes see) what you're doing. There was a core group of adults that would hang out and they'd always drag the kids along. For the most part, we (the kids) all took care of each other and helped each other through. There was one bad set of siblings. Luckily, his parents moved far away within a very short time of joining the group. Not before he and his sister molested me though. <-- I've never admitted this part to anyone before.
Moving and rehab Having to quit my extracurriculars and abandon my friends to clean up after my drunken parents was the end of my rope. I moved away at age 17. My moving out forced one of my parents into detox, then rehab.
Surviving I moved to a less than ideal situation, my dad's house. I spent ages 17-19 finishing high school while quietly setting myself up to get out of my dad's house as fast as I could after graduation.
The aftermath Running was the easy part. Making it with no direction or guidance was tricky. And I made a mess of it.
Cleaning up the the mess Things are finally turning around. Can't relax yet though. I still have to finish cleaning up the mess I made (i.e. file bankruptcy).
Stability Ah... stability. It only took 23 years. Covers bouncing back from the bankruptcy, getting married, buying a house... etc
Insert part A in the third left hole of part Q and turn The strip turned pink. Now we have to assemble a stroller. And a crib. And why do babies make you talk like an idiot? Boppy, bumbo, ba-ba, onesie... who came up with these words? And don't even get me started on the hell that is Babies R Us.
Unemployment I took a couple vacation days to do some Christmas shopping 2 weeks before Christmas. I'm sitting at the table making ornaments with our now 21 month old son when I get a phone call. It's H... Hey, I just got laid off. I'll be home in about 20 minutes.
Serenity I got a promotion, H has a new job, the kid is more self-reliant...
What lies ahead stays ahead This is something that H once rambled while in a drunken stupor many moons ago. But it makes sense in this instance. We have plans for the future, but not yet. Changes lie ahead, and they'll stay ahead... for now.
ETA: I elaborated a bit more in the "life of sin" chapter. Since we're all holding hands and sharing.
Post by starrieskies on Sept 26, 2013 11:41:27 GMT -5
Wow... This is a GREAT question... I think often about "my story" but never really thought it would interest anyone enough to really put it down...
Ponys and Pigtails: Basically my younger years, growing up with on "a farm", summers spent cutting and baling hay, stories I don't necessarily remember living, but hear about from time to time.
Invisibility: This probably started around middle school. Growing up as #3 of 5, and feeling like I didn't really exist. Learning to do the "guy" stuff out of spite because "girls can't do _____". Trying to make my presence known. My very first boyfriend.
Isolation: This would start right about the beginning of 8th grade, when life really started getting interesting. Still clinging on to my on again, off again 1st boyfriend, and the night he raped me. Telling my Catholic parents that I was pregnant days after my 8th grade graduation. Moving to TX to escape and to shelter my family from the small town talk.
Moving Forward Without Moving On: This would deal mostly with high school, being forced to move back to WA state after my daughter's birth and adoption. Trying to avoid the questions and feelings in my own head, burying them in school and various jobs. Graduation, unhealthy relationships, and the craziness that followed. Struggling to keep the secrets that I'd promised to keep.
Broken Promises: My relationship with stbx, our marriage, buying a home, starting a family, struggling to convince myself that I had finally found love even though it didn't feel right.
Learning to Dance Alone: This chapter is largely unwritten, but starts with therapy, finally leaving stbx, and finding myself, my own path, and helping DS write a story of his own.
ETA: This contains a lot of personal information that I have shared with very few people IRL... I may chicken out and DD later, please don't quote.
Post by partiallysunny on Sept 26, 2013 12:25:59 GMT -5
I don't want to be the chicken, so...
And I'm honored so many people have shared so much personal information.
Bittersweet - I really remember pizza, movies and Budweiser. I remember curling up with my dad late at night. I felt loved by him. The rational side of me knows he was still an alcoholic then, but I remember feeling loved.
Unloved and Lonely - coming to terms with my parents ugly partnership. My dad being an alcoholic and getting into multiple car accidents. My mother telling me she is leaving my dad and to have my things packed, only to be disappointed every time she was too afraid to leave. My mother eventually working all the time to escape and leaving us with a grandmother who slept all the time. My father eventually stops drinking, but is still mean and ugly. Beatings over spilled milk and tuna sandwiches made with too much mayo. Time outs were hours long, staring at a corner, don't lean against the walls, over insignificant thing (like i didn't wash his work clothes the way he wanted me to or the cat pooped on the floor). I was very lonely and isolated. Never allowed to leave the house, unless we were at the crazy grandmothers. I was molested during this period by a family member. I learned to depend on no one but myself.
^ I.reserve the right to delete any of that. Don't quote.
Post by dixienormous on Sept 26, 2013 13:05:02 GMT -5
My teenage and adult years kind of have to be non-linear
Casey Made Me Do It – my devilish start where I did a lot of not-so-good things and blamed my imaginary friend.
Lonely But Didn’t Realize It Fully - grade school. Both parents working full time and long hours. A lot of sub-par care givers (including the one who was legally blind). A lot of time being picked on. Feeling like no one cared. Finding a home of sorts in theatre.
Performing Is My LIFE! – Jr. High through High School. Off-beat, misunderstood, still semi-picked on kid who found out that there was some talent inside. Discovered choir and continued doing as much singing and acting as I was able to with limited parental support.
What The Fuck, Dad?! – age 11 to 26. Dad went into a 3 year rabbinical program and 15 years later decided to give up. Without ever completing a single course. Years of missed important events, years of my mother working herself into the ground to support the family. The affair he had when I was 12/13. Not being able to go to the schools that my sister and I wanted to because of the situation he placed us in. The promises to finish school so he could officiate at my wedding. So many shattered dreams for his one that he couldn’t even see through.
All I Want Is To Be Cared About – my slutty phase where I was sleeping around in a desperate attempt to feel cared about. Eventually ending with meeting H.
Daddy’s Sick – My parents had moved to the east coast leaving me and my sister in CA. My dad developed an auto-immune liver disease and under emotional duress (and coercion) I agreed to move to the east to help out. My sister, who convinced me to come, bailed after 3 months when she couldn’t hack it. Dad’s liver transplant and the refusal to do SOMEthing with this wonderful gift he was given. Almost 7 years post-transplant, his illness relapsed and he died.
Family, Love, and The Rug Pulled Out From Under Us – Marriage, building a life together, having PF and receiving her diagnosis. 3 weeks after losing my dad, we received the news from the neurologist about PF’s prenatal stroke and the amount of brain damage she sustained. Dealing with my mother’s inability to see things through without someone telling her what to do. Dealing with her depression, her lack of engaging with her children (me and my older sister). Still feeling a little like the kid in those sub-par daycare centers.
Down The Rabbit Hole – the last 2 years with PF. Therapies, surgeries, Early Intervention and trying to find our way through this seriously fucked up Wonderland. And yet , finding PF to be adorable, hilarious, stubborn and absolutely amazing.
I have a feeling we would have been friends in high school
I can't sing but I am with you with theater, I designed all the sets. I loved it. I totally would have hung out with you, and am still jealous that you can carry a tune. I sound like a dying animal when singing.
I have a feeling we would have been friends in high school
I can't sing but I am with you with theater, I designed all the sets. I loved it. I totally would have hung out with you, and am still jealous that you can carry a tune. I sound like a dying animal when singing.
I was a band nerd, but we intermingled with the theater and chores. Many of my friends were in all three.
I can't sing but I am with you with theater, I designed all the sets. I loved it. I totally would have hung out with you, and am still jealous that you can carry a tune. I sound like a dying animal when singing.
I was a band nerd, but we intermingled with the theater and chores. Many of my friends were in all three.
We were surprisingly separate though I went between all three along with a few other people.
I can't sing but I am with you with theater, I designed all the sets. I loved it. I totally would have hung out with you, and am still jealous that you can carry a tune. I sound like a dying animal when singing.
I was a band nerd, but we intermingled with the theater and chores. Many of my friends were in all three.
Another band buddy/theater geek checking in!
I was in concert band (mellophone, french horn, trumpet), chorus, color guard (silks), indoor guard floor crew (basically, we wore silly socks and set up the mat and props before the guard performed), stage crew for the theater department and I did makeup and costuming for all of the school plays. Well, until my junior year. But that'll be covered in my "Moving and Rehab" chapter.
Wow. My book is a lot funnier and more lighthearted than yours.
Well, yeah. You have death candles, uber-scheduled vacations and such to entertain the masses.
I mean, I saw this article and the picture immediately made me think of you. I didn't even read the article. I saw it was a woman in front of a candle and it had something to do with death and I'm all KUUS' DEATH CANDLE!!!
Post by starrieskies on Sept 26, 2013 15:32:14 GMT -5
I just want to say that there are some amazingly strong women here, and I'm honored to be friends with you!
partiallysunny, thanks for the offer to delete, but I'm good. It just feels strange to put it out there since it's not something that many people know about me.
Post by captainmel on Sept 26, 2013 17:06:47 GMT -5
This is making me love all of you more. I've been thinking about mine all day and I'll try and add it later when I'm on a real computer so I can type faster. Because I'm lazy. Consider that the prologue to my book.