Etiquette Question, likely flameful *update*

[sugarbear]

Our work baby showers have always been casual.  For my shower, a co-worker brought her baby. Because of that, it didn't occur to me that I shouldn't bring my 6 month old to a shower this weekend.

So I told DH to take DS1 to do something special for a couple hours. DS2 will more than likely fall asleep on our way to the shower, and sleep for at least an hour while we're there. He's not mobile, he rarely cries, he's very sociable, and he's perfectly content to sit in my lap for an hour or two.

Now I'm thinking, though, that this is a breach of etiquette. It's too late, because DS1 already knows about their fun plans, but still... I'm second-guessing myself.

So, on a scale of 1-10, one being "you're so rude you should never leave the house again," and 10 being, "you're cool, I'd do the same thing," how bad is it that I'm bringing the baby?

Update: I spoke to the host again and apologized for putting her on the spot before. I explained my reasoning but told her that I could definitely figure out a way to leave him at home. She said no, it was fine, she was just worried that it's going to be rainy and we'll all be inside. I assured her that he's not mobile and rarely fusses, so I think we're all ok now.

[walterismydog]

I don't have a kid, but I am pretty sure I wouldn't even think twice if I saw a baby at a baby shower.

Then again, most things like this don't bug me at all.

[speckledfrog]

Is it a work shower? If so, then you're fine. If not, then I'd say about a 5. FWIW, I wouldn't hate on you.

[pixelpassion]

It's not like you're bringing your baby to a coworker happy hour, it's a baby shower. I think it would be a minor thing, if it was even considered rude at all in the first place.

[ECB]

I'd say maybe a 4? It's not "so" rude, BUT "just because one person did it" isn't a good reason to do something yourself.... KWIM?

My take - NEWBORNS get a pass. Between the baby's needs (nursing, perhaps) and the mom's comfort in leaving her really young child, I never side-eye a newborn. But 6 months is starting to get to that age where the baby can be a distraction. Many people don't care and will coo over your baby, but still... babies are unpredictable, can get into stuff, etc etc etc.

[daisybuchannan]

I don't think it's a big deal at all.

[game blouses]

As long as he doesn't go running around and tearing open the gifts, he's fine. I've never been to a baby shower that didn't have at least one baby.

[sugarbear]

Sept 26, 2013 12:23:10 GMT -5 @booby said:

um, you know that this question is more appropriately posed to the host, right? it doesn't really matter what the concesus is HERE.

but since you asked, in my circle, non-mobile babies are generally welcome.

I did ask the host, and she seemed not terribly excited about the prospect, which is why I'm asking now. She did say, yes, it's fine, but rather unenthusiastically.

[scribellesam]

I wouldn't think twice about a non mobile baby at a baby shower.

[tulip]

My Godson who was almost one and mobile was at my shower. No one cared, he was adorable and even took a nap. I think you are good.

[ECB]

Sept 26, 2013 12:25:03 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

I thought babies were welcome at baby showers?

See, this is why this is a "know your circle" type of thing.  I know for many people, this is the case.  But every baby shower I've been to, they have been adult only events. 

[walterismydog]

I think you need to ask yourself how uptight this person is. In my circle, people would be thrilled to be able to play with/hold a little baby. In other circles it could be a total nightmare.

If it were my shower, I wouldn't care at all.

[eb777888]

I wouldn't think twice about this.

[eb777888]

Oh, NM, saw your update. Don't bring the baby then.

[tigress]

Yes I've had lots of babies come to baby showers that I've been to. But I'm not part of a super formal bunch.

[So_Fetch]

I think you're good with a non-mobile baby. someone brought their very active toddler to the last one I hosted. never occurred to her that maybe not everyone would be happy for the distraction.

[sugarbear]

LOL. I feel like everyone gets one vote, except sue Sue, who gets five.

Eta: I am breastfeeding, but he does take a bottle.

[VillainV]

It wouldn't bother me, personally, but it sounds like the host would rather not have a baby there.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2013 12:37:28 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

I think you're good with a non-mobile baby. someone brought their very active toddler to the last one I hosted. never occurred to her that maybe not everyone would be happy for the distraction.

I went to a shower once where a kid was in attendance and freaking stole the show. Opened all the presents for the new mom to be, acted like the birthday girl, and was generally fresh and loud. I was so sad for the new mom. Its like the last event in your life where it gets to be all about you, lol. 

Non mobile babies don't bother me any but its up to the host of course

[hopecounts]

where I'm from babies are generally welcome at baby showers.
but given that the host isn't very happy I'd try to fifure out an alternative if possible.

[sonrisa]

Sept 26, 2013 12:25:49 GMT -5 scribellesam said:

I wouldn't think twice about a non mobile baby at a baby shower.

Non-mobile babies can be screamers. My two year old is a handful, but can be fun and charming. She understands, and sometimes follows, directions to sit quietly. Under 6 months? You never knew when misery would erupt.

[Deleted]

i wouldn't, given the lack of enthusiasm.

[gustafngrete]

I don't think it's rude. At all. There were several young babies at my showers, and I didn't bat an eyelash. My theory is that "babes in arms" are welcome at most gatherings as long as they are not disruptive. If your baby fusses, then leave early.

[Jalapeñomel]

I would not think twice about a baby being at a baby shower.

[Deleted]

It didn't bother me at my shower, the moms wouldn't have been able to come otherwise - one husband out of town for work, one was breastfeeding and one husband was going to watch the kid but something important came up. The third friend apologized but I really didn't mind. They're all sweet kids who gave us a few good laughs.

[Deleted]

Just don't bring children to an ML GTG when nobody else is.

[thatgirl2478]

It's fine.  I wouldn't even think twice about it.

[Alyssa]

I think squishy's are fine at showers, especially little nuggets who are still breastfeeding.  I brought my daughter to one when she was 7 weeks old simply because whe was completely dependent on me and wasn't on a bottle at the time.  The location was 1 hour away so it wasn't something where I could feed her, leave and return within a couple hours for the next feeding.

Where the etiquette line gets fuzzy is if you're bringing a toddler who's gong to cause a scene because their nap time has been put off.  Then the child needs to stay home.

[browneyedgirl9]

I wouldn't think twice about seeing a baby at a baby shower, expecially if the baby is not mobile. I would be happy to see my friends bring their babies to my shower in a few months. I can see if it was an older child who was running crazy, or trying to touch all the gifts or open them.

[iamgrace]

I wouldn't care.