Would you leave 18 yr old home alone

[happyholiday]

For a week?  I need to visit my grandmother, she isn't doing well.  Have already delayed the visit once.  DH just found out that he has to go to Germany for work next week and will be gone for several weeks.  The 18 yr old is my SS, he lives with us full time and is a senior in high school and really can't miss a week of school.  He's responsible and I trust him.  We also have neighbors who would check on him.  We've just never left him alone like that so it's making me uncomfortable.  Do I need to cut the cord or reschedule the visit?

[justkly]

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

[soozy87]

If he is responsible I would be fine with it.

[tacokick]

Sept 27, 2013 10:43:55 GMT -5 justkly said:

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

He is in HS so it is fine he lives at home!

My parents never did this but I think it is fine and for a good reason.

[pedanticwench]

I get that he's 18 and technically an adult, but I'd definitely be apprehensive about this as a parent.

If he's trustworthy and responsible, though, it might be okay.

[sugarbear]

Absolutely.
You've said he's trustworthy. He's old enough to be living on his own. What's your hang up?

[spitforspat]

Sept 27, 2013 10:43:55 GMT -5 justkly said:

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

Wtf?

[stephlove]

If you trust him, then yes.

It's good practice for college. If you haven't left him for any length of time before, it's time to. Do phone call check ins, but save his pride and don't have neighbors drop by to check on him. If you're really concerned, leave your number with the neighbors so they can call you if they have any concerns.

[SKP82]

It depends on the 18 year old.

ETA:  If he's responsible and you trust him, then yes, I would leave him home for a week.

[happyholiday]

Sept 27, 2013 10:46:34 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Absolutely.
You've said he's trustworthy. He's old enough to be living on his own. What's your hang up?

I really don't know. . . just that I'm an anxious parent and have helicopter tendencies, I guess.  I know he won't throw a party or anything like that, I'm just more worried about the day-to-day aspect of things.  Also, I worry that he'll get lonely (lol)!  He'll probably just play hours of X Box and eat his weight in Hooooot Pockets.  Bonus if I leave him alone:  I won't be there to smell those nasty things!

[justkly]

Sept 27, 2013 10:49:45 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:43:55 GMT -5 justkly said:

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

LOL. You're a fucking nut. He's in high school.

I admit I missed the high school part. My bad. I was just thinking he's 18, and lot's of people are already on their own at 18. Yep, that's so nuts.

[rupertpenny]

Can he drive and does he have access to a car? Or can he otherwise get where he needs to go? I wouldn't want to leave him if he was going to be actually stuck in the house the whole time.

[Yankees21]

I would, especially since you said he is responsible and you trust him.

[happyholiday]

He would not have a car. Hmmm, didn't think about that.

[Deleted]

sure.

i know when i was 17 and my parents left me, they totally asked all the neighbors to spy and make sure that i didn't throw a party. lol.

[sugarbear]

Sept 27, 2013 10:49:45 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:43:55 GMT -5 justkly said:

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

LOL. You're a fucking nut. He's in high school.

Really? I mean, my kids are only 3 and 6 months, so maybe I am a nutter. I'll cop to being out of touch.

But legally, he IS old enough to live on his own. She said he's trustworthy. I don't know why his still being in high school makes a difference. Not every kid is going to throw a raging kegger the second his parents leave for the weekend.

Anecdote alert-- my dad left my brother and me all the time when we were in high school. He was a single parent and traveled for work. We were 16 and 18.

[sugarbear]

Sept 27, 2013 10:53:45 GMT -5 happyholiday said:

He would not have a car. Hmmm, didn't think about that.

This might change my mind. Is there public transportation? A bike? I mean, I'd still feel comfortable leaving him alone, but I'd want him to be able to get out of the house.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2013 10:56:50 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:49:45 GMT -5 cjoy said:

LOL. You're a fucking nut. He's in high school.

Really? I mean, my kids are only 3 and 6 months, so maybe I am a nutter. I'll cop to being out of touch.

But legally, he IS old enough to live on his own. She said he's trustworthy. I don't know why his still being in high school makes a difference. Not every kid is going to throw a raging kegger the second his parents leave for the weekend.

Anecdote alert-- my dad left my brother and me all the time when we were in high school. He was a single parent and traveled for work. We were 16 and 18.

i believe cjoy was referring to the "he should be living on his own" portion of the response.

[cutecloud]

Sept 27, 2013 10:51:59 GMT -5 justkly said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:49:45 GMT -5 cjoy said:

LOL. You're a fucking nut. He's in high school.

I admit I missed the high school part. My bad. I was just thinking he's 18, and lot's of people are already on their own at 18. Yep, that's so nuts.

That makes no sense. 18 year olds are generally high school seniors or college freshmen so how are they on their own? Of course there are some but I would think they are the exception not the norm.

[sugarbear]

Sept 27, 2013 10:59:13 GMT -5 cville said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:56:50 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

Really? I mean, my kids are only 3 and 6 months, so maybe I am a nutter. I'll cop to being out of touch.

But legally, he IS old enough to live on his own. She said he's trustworthy. I don't know why his still being in high school makes a difference. Not every kid is going to throw a raging kegger the second his parents leave for the weekend.

Anecdote alert-- my dad left my brother and me all the time when we were in high school. He was a single parent and traveled for work. We were 16 and 18.

i believe cjoy was referring to the "he should be living on his own" portion of the response.

This makes way more sense.
Reading fail.

[happyholiday]

We live on a military base, so he has access to a bus and we do have bikes. Also, his friends have their own vehicles. I think I'll do it. I mean, he's a good kid. Thanks for all the responses!

[happyholiday]

Sept 27, 2013 10:59:21 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:53:45 GMT -5 happyholiday said:

He would not have a car. Hmmm, didn't think about that.

This would be huge when I was in high school with school events and activities.

Yeah, he has Forensics once a week, that's really his only extracurricular.  I can arrange transportation for him for that day.  Glad I started this thread, it's helping me make a list of what to do.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2013 10:43:55 GMT -5 justkly said:

Yes. He's 18. He should have his own place already.

Really?

[justkly]

Sept 27, 2013 10:59:20 GMT -5 cutecloud said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:51:59 GMT -5 justkly said:

I admit I missed the high school part. My bad. I was just thinking he's 18, and lot's of people are already on their own at 18. Yep, that's so nuts.

That makes no sense. 18 year olds are generally high school seniors or college freshmen so how are they on their own? Of course there are some but I would think they are the exception not the norm.

Meh. My senior year in high school, I had two jobs, my own car and apartment. I still made it to school every single day.   I only know one person who stayed at home as a college freshmen.  The rest had their own place. Maybe my view is skewed.

[janiejones]

Yes, just make sure to leave enough cash for the keg rental & deposit.

jk. Of course, my parents left us once or twice at that age.

[VeryViolet]

Sept 27, 2013 10:59:36 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'd be concerned about the lack of transportation. If you're talking a week, he needs transport to do things like pick up milk, etc.

My parents left me several times my junior and senior years of high school and it was no big deal.

I'm not saying I didn't have parties or that my boyfriend didn't sleep over or anything, but it was all fine and everything was clean when they got home. lol.

That is exactly what I was thinking. As long as he is responsible enough to make sure you don't know that these things happened he will be fine. LOL

I would worry about not having transportation. Would he be able to take your husband to the airport and then use his car? Or could you borrow a car from someone. If you live in a really walkable area it should be fine too. I just know in the burbs where I grew up I couldn't have survived a week without some transportation.

[Deleted]

When I was 18, my mom left and I threw an awesome house party. Someone spilled vodka kool-aid all over her newly stained deck and someone also puked in the pool.

I was the senior editor of the school
Paper and in all honors classes. Plus I had a job and paid for my own shit. Shit like alcohol for house parties.

I would be apprehensive too. Lol.

[Deleted]

wait, you're on a military base? pshaw. the MPs will pick him up if he does anything bad. he'll be fine. no one wants to go to military prison

[cutecloud]

Sept 27, 2013 11:05:51 GMT -5 justkly said:

Sept 27, 2013 10:59:20 GMT -5 cutecloud said:

That makes no sense. 18 year olds are generally high school seniors or college freshmen so how are they on their own? Of course there are some but I would think they are the exception not the norm.

Meh. My senior year in high school, I had two jobs, my own car and apartment. I still made it to school every single day.   I only know one person who stayed at home as a college freshmen.  The rest had their own place. Maybe my view is skewed.

Most college freshmen live in dorms if they're away from home. I didn't know many freshmen who lived at home with their parents during the school year but on breaks yeah.

I still think its a little weird to expect an 18 year old high school senior to get his own place.

[Deleted]

My default would be to ask if he could stay at a friend's house (talk to their parents etc).

But if that didn't work out, assuming they were responsible etc, I'd let them stay home alone.