I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
Yep. Like the time on a cruise w/ both our families when he had to walk me back to the room during dinner because I was drunk. Funny how I remember the basil plant but not that one..
Post by lasagnasshole on Oct 29, 2013 10:29:46 GMT -5
Our worst fight was a few years ago. I have absolutely no idea what it was about. All I recall is flying into a blind rage, screaming my head off at him, and throwing something. Not exactly at him, but more in his general direction.
Turns out that my BCP were fucking with me, and during the placebo week, I was experiencing a drop in estrogen that made me craaaaazy. I switched pills, and all was right with the world.
We haven't had any major fights recently, but we definitely have been snapping at each other more since he moved out here. It sucks.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
LOL. most of our fights start because I instigate them. Even if he may say something snide, I pounce on it and just dont let it go. We have been fighting significantly less since I've started walking away when he makes snide comments that piss me off, and then I come back later and tell him why he upset me. but the big blowups are because I just egg it on. so they usually are because of something he did wrong.
the last time he really yelled at me for doing something wrong was when I ran over the flowers and two of the lights that end our driveway. He had spent all weekend planting the flowers and putting the lights in. I felt bad.
Post by iammalcolmx on Oct 29, 2013 10:32:57 GMT -5
He also pissed me off so badly one day I started jumping up and down on one of his suits and proceeded to slide it across the floor like it was a magic carpet. At the end I had jumped around so much I looked like a troll doll.
Our worst fights are when he acts like the irrational baby. Only one person gets to play that game, homey.
Every time in the middle of the fight I have that moment when I realize "Fuck he is acting like me" lol
Oh god, I HATE it when my H exaggerates. I find myself thinking that the relationship can only handle one drama queen, and I've played that role since the very beginning. He can't change that shit up on me now!
I am the Cameron to his Mitchell. There are rules, H. This isn't Nam!
Our worst fights are when he acts like the irrational baby. Only one person gets to play that game, homey.
Every time in the middle of the fight I have that moment when I realize "Fuck he is acting like me" lol
Oh god, I HATE it when my H exaggerates. I find myself thinking that the relationship can only handle one drama queen, and I've played that role since the very beginning. He can't change that shit up on me now!
I am the Cameron to his Mitchell. There are rules, H. This isn't Nam!
Our worst fights are when he acts like the irrational baby. Only one person gets to play that game, homey.
Every time in the middle of the fight I have that moment when I realize "Fuck he is acting like me" lol
Oh god, I HATE it when my H exaggerates. I find myself thinking that the relationship can only handle one drama queen, and I've played that role since the very beginning. He can't change that shit up on me now!
I am the Cameron to his Mitchell. There are rules, H. This isn't Nam!
LOL this explains this so well. I am going to tell H this next time. After he gets over me being a drama queen he will think it is funny.
Post by ChillyMcFreeze on Oct 29, 2013 10:41:49 GMT -5
The biggest fight we had (that I can remember) is when H told me I had to quit my freelance writing when I started working part time. He just told me I had to quit. I was PISSED over that. And I didn't quit... until the company went under a month later. So there!
We're about to be in a fight because he told his family we could go to their pre-Christmas get-together that hasn't even been set in stone yet, but might fall on the same weekend as MY family get-together that has been planned for 6 months and happens every year. NO.
We fight pretty much anytime we see my family. Make that every time.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
Shenanigans. I am perfect, we here are all perfect, and I've only been wrong three times in my whole life.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
that's because when he calls me out on it, i apologize
OH! I REMEMBER NOW! we got into a fight because he has no friends and is pissed that i do have them. he was being prince pissypants because he never gets to go out with his friends. nevermind the fact that he works every night until like 11 (if he's lucky) after putting in a full day at work. and he never calls the friends that he does have. and never does he ever make plans with them. i basically told him i didn't feel bad because he was putting exactly zero effort into it and getting exactly that in return. at least i make fucking plans, dick.
Post by Velar Fricative on Oct 29, 2013 10:48:16 GMT -5
To be fair, I will post about two fights because he was out of line with one and I was out of line with the other.
1) When he was out of line - We put our apartment on the market in 2009 (yeah, when the housing market was shitty - bad idea). It was going nowhere and I was venting in frustration about how I resented being in this apartment and I wish we waited to buy a place, etc. He was furious and took it as an affront to his decision-making as he was the one who pushed to buy. I still can't believe how mad he got; so mad he punched a picture in a frame on our wall and had to go to the ER for stitches. I went to spend the night at my family's house and told him to call me when he was ready to calm the fuck down. He called to apologize the next morning after cooling off. I've never seen him act that angry before or since.
2) When I was out of line - Also a few years ago. He started complaining about how I wasn't into sex anymore (it was true; my libido was way down). I said something so awful to him that I can't even type it out here. I apologized profusely because I made him so upset and still regret my words to this day. I suck.
We still get into fights about it! he's all "everything can go down the disposal!" and I'm like "THATS NOT TRUE!!!"
You are totally right. My plumber agrees.
I don't play about the disposal. I am still traumatized from being a kid when our disposal broke, we had to wash dishes in the 1/2 bathroom on the first floor. It sucked and I will lose my shit if I see inappropriate things going in the disposal.
Post by laurenpetro on Oct 29, 2013 10:51:28 GMT -5
he also likes to bring up shit from 6 months ago. i won't even bother. if you can't bring it up at the time and you let it fester, that's your problem. not mine.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
I don't play about the disposal. I am still traumatized from being a kid when our disposal broke, we had to wash dishes in the 1/2 bathroom on the first floor. It sucked and I will lose my shit if I see inappropriate things going in the disposal.
word.
when I was kid, we had well water and a septic tank (no city sewage) and my sister poured a big jar of grease down the disposal. I don't have a clue what the grease was from or exactly how all this went down, but I do know that it caused our septic system to back up into our laundry room. It was a gross, smelly mess.
That was also the year she forgot to put oil in the riding lawn mower and blew up the engine and we had to use a push mower on our TWO ACRE yard all summer.
One of our biggest fights happened after DH did something that I asked him repeatedly not to do. When he did it again, I got upset.
But then my vision went totally red when he actually said "if it bothers you that much, why didn't you tell me?"
I am pretty sure I made a screaming noise, stomped around the house, swore at him and then I burst into hysterical tears saying things like "you never listen to me," "you wouldn't do that if you really loved me, "why don't you care about what I want." Overly dramatic stuff like that.
I then told him I was leaving for a drive to cool off and get away from him when I proceeded to put a dent into the side of his car because he parked his car like an ass in the driveway. Which set me off again.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
I'll give you one that was all me. We have one of those giant umbrellas on our back patio that is anchored by a shitton of sand in a covered base. One day it was open and we got a sudden burst of wind out of nowhere that knocked that sucker right over. A lot of the sand spilled out of the base because the base was partially cracked open as the umbrella tipped. I had a neighbor help me stand the umbrella upright, but then I completely forgot to clean up the sand because I got distracted by some bright shiny object.
H comes home, finds the mess, and very long story short, accuses me of treating him like he's my bitch, expecting him to clean up something that I could have handled. He was totally right but instead of explaining that I totally forgot about it, I'm sorry, I'll go take care of it now, I got 50 shades of defensive and start telling him about all the messes he leaves around for me to clean up and DON'T YOU DARE GET STARTED WITH ME ON NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHIT. Because I'm an asshole like that, apparently.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
i never put a new roll of TP in the holder. i will admit that. everything else? you all see how perfect i am
H does this in the little bathroom. I don't get it. It's easier to reach in the holder than on the high windowsill. But no, the roll will live on the windowsill until it's half gone or I use that bathroom.
I fight dirty, and I am legit crazy when I get mad. I have rage issues, and a pretty epic Irish temper. MH is a WASP who likes to avoid things or repress them. So we fight pretty rarely - but bicker a lot because we like to bust each other's balls. When we do fight, though, it is epic, because I usually jump on something to satisfy my love of confrontation and raging (since he so rarely seems primed to fight with me - I find arguing invigorating until he starts to get on my nerves). It usually grows out of something dumb, though. Most of our fights are money related, and on his end, they are actually about money (he has impossibly, ridiculously high standards) but for me they are usually about him "telling" me what to do. I hate being told what to do!
I don't even remember what this particular fight was about, but I dumped my glass of water on his head. That was like 2 years ago. But his typical MO is to tell me I am illogical which is WASP code for "you have a vagina and I have a penis and ladies suffer from the CRAY." Which never fails to set me off and rage at him. Then he's like, "okay I'm done with this fight...moving on." And I'm all "I didn't get enough aggression out on you and I'm still rage-y." Nothing pisses me off more than when he's all over it and I'm still steaming mad. To be fair, though, I'm always at like 50% rage anyway...
I have a hard time remembering the specifics of what started any fight. The thing that sticks in my head is what happens the second I finally snap and freak the fuck out on him.
Like the time I threw a ball of steel wool at his head and hit him in the eye and he leapt to his feet and I cringed like was going to hit me and then he REALLY lost his shit because he couldn't believe I thought he'd hit me. One of the few times I really hurt his feelings. There were many doors slammed that day (and then yanked back open by the other person so the screaming could continue). Our neighbors probably thought we were killing each other.
Or the time I actually pulled over on the side of the highway and told him to get the fuck out of the car. (he didn't) He'd been giving me the silent treatment like a fucking baby for about 20 minutes and I finally snapped.
Or the time I just started screaming at the top of my lungs, "Just apologize! what the fuck is wrong with you! say you're sorry! say you're sorry! Why didnt' your mother teach you to say you're FUCKING SORRY EVER!!!! SAY IT! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!!!!!!!" (he did in fact say he was sorry at the end of that one)
Our fights tend to start because he says or does something mildly shitty and then when he gets called out on it either tells me to calm down or gives me the silent treatment. Which then causes me to go into a full on rage spiral where I have to occasionally leave the room before I start throwing shit. He's kind of an ass who likes to push my buttons and usually this just leads to both of us laughing, but sometimes it leads to shit being thrown at his head because he picked a bad topic or a bad moment or didn't know when to just let it go.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
I'll give you one that was all me. We have one of those giant umbrellas on our back patio that is anchored by a shitton of sand in a covered base. One day it was open and we got a sudden burst of wind out of nowhere that knocked that sucker right over. A lot of the sand spilled out of the base because the base was partially cracked open as the umbrella tipped. I had a neighbor help me stand the umbrella upright, but then I completely forgot to clean up the sand because I got distracted by some bright shiny object.
H comes home, finds the mess, and very long story short, accuses me of treating him like he's my bitch, expecting him to clean up something that I could have handled. He was totally right but instead of explaining that I totally forgot about it, I'm sorry, I'll go take care of it now, I got 50 shades of defensive and start telling him about all the messes he leaves around for me to clean up and DON'T YOU DARE GET STARTED WITH ME ON NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHIT. Because I'm an asshole like that, apparently.
HA! We had this fight a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure it devolved when I told him that I had thrown his empty milk carton away that morning so he could take his "we should just do stuff that we see that needs to be done" argument and shove it directly up his ass.
I don't even remember what this particular fight was about, but I dumped my glass of water on his head. That was like 2 years ago. But his typical MO is to tell me I am illogical which is WASP code for "you have a vagina and I have a penis and ladies suffer from the CRAY." Which never fails to set me off and rage at him. Then he's like, "okay I'm done with this fight...moving on." And I'm all "I didn't get enough aggression out on you and I'm still rage-y." Nothing pisses me off more than when he's all over it and I'm still steaming mad. To be fair, though, I'm always at like 50% rage anyway...
do you have surveillance equipment in my house?? because this is DH and me. exactly.
I have a hard time remembering the specifics of what started any fight. The thing that sticks in my head is what happens the second I finally snap and freak the fuck out on him.
Like the time I threw a ball of steel wool at his head and hit him in the eye and he leapt to his feet and I cringed like was going to hit me and then he REALLY lost his shit because he couldn't believe I thought he'd hit me. One of the few times I really hurt his feelings. There were many doors slammed that day (and then yanked back open by the other person so the screaming could continue). Our neighbors probably thought we were killing each other.
Or the time I actually pulled over on the side of the highway and told him to get the fuck out of the car. (he didn't) He'd been giving me the silent treatment like a fucking baby for about 20 minutes and I finally snapped.
Or the time I just started screaming at the top of my lungs, "Just apologize! what the fuck is wrong with you! say you're sorry! say you're sorry! Why didnt' your mother teach you to say you're FUCKING SORRY EVER!!!! SAY IT! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!!!!!!!" (he did in fact say he was sorry at the end of that one)
Our fights tend to start because he says or does something mildly shitty and then when he gets called out on it either tells me to calm down or gives me the silent treatment. Which then causes me to go into a full on rage spiral where I have to occasionally leave the room before I start throwing shit. He's kind of an ass who likes to push my buttons and usually this just leads to both of us laughing, but sometimes it leads to shit being thrown at his head because he picked a bad topic or a bad moment or didn't know when to just let it go.
THIS IS SO US. 99% of the time I ignore his shit, but 1% of the time it sets me off and I will go from 0-60 in the blink of an eye (or I'm looking for a reason to fight with him). And he's all, "Why aren't you laughing this time?" NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IT IS NOT FUNNY I HATE YOU I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.
The worst fight we ever had went like this: I asked DH to help me clean the house because it was gross and I had other errands I needed to finish. He said he would help and then proceeded to watch football all day. Rather than remind him, I cleaned everything by myself, getting increasingly pissed as the day went on, and waited for him to realize he had screwed me over. But he never remembered. That night I was REALLY pissed and oblivious DH tried to put the moves on me. And I said "no thanks. I'm a bit tired from cleaning the house BY MYSELF ALL DAY." And rather than realize he fucked up he told me he regularly does more housework than I do so I shouldn't be mad at this one day. That was BS and I straight up lost my sanity on him. Like I screamed and tried to slap him and/or claw his eyes out. I really lost it. We were in bed in the dark while this went on and he pinned my arms down under the sheets to stop me from attacking him. All because he thought doing his own laundry made him a man hero. We now have a cleaning lady.
We've had similar fights. In retrospect a few of our big ones were because I was in grad school and working full time, and when we moved in together it was hard to adjust to how to spend time together and leave enough time for the things we had to do. One fight happened when I told him I had to go to campus and study for, like, 8 hours one Sunday. I asked him if he could clean the house for me since I would be gone all day and I didn't have time to do it with my school work. I came home 8 hours later to find him on the computer. He had 1) put the beer in the fridge that we had bought that weekend and 2) done 1 load of laundry. I flipped my shit over the rest of the laundry not being done, the bathroom not being cleaned, the floors not being swept and mopped and the kitchen not being wiped down. Let's just say I think we had very different ideas of what "cleaning the house" entailed.
I like how all the fights mentioned are about something our SOs did wrong, and not what we did. I'm sure there have been those, but I choose not to remember them.
I'll admit that most of our fights are my fault. I used to be passive aggressive and avoid confrontation. That's really shitty, both for me and DH. I've worked really hard over the last few years to stop that and so we rarely fight. But just the other day, he offered to clean up after dinner, which I took to mean "after dinner" when he meant "when he has time". The next morning, the dishes were still in the sink and I couldn't even make coffee without moving everything. He said he had to email something to his boss and he'd clean up when he was done. I said "don't worry, I'll do it", but proceeded to be pissed about it. When I was done, I told him how angry I was and he got pissed that I wasn't being fair. Which I wasn't. He let me sleep until the baby woke up - he got up with Ben, got him breakfast, dressed and to school on time, and met his deadline at work. He was busy taking care of ten things and didn't do the 11th on "my" timeline. I started crying about being a tired, hormonal, three weeks post partum mess and why can't he just take me being unfair with a smile and a hug? That stupid fight lasted all day and it was all my fault. I could have just moved the dishes, made my coffee and plopped my ass on the couch.
We've definitely had our worst fights since the kids came along. Mostly due to being overtired and way overstressed. I threw him out once after he got sick of my yelling at him and he kicked a baby gate in anger. It hit me while I was holding a baby.
Otherwise I'd say we only have a few BIG blowouts per year. Usually about money or because I'm so worn out from doing too many things at once. We're still working on it, but I can generally say that as long as we are getting a decent amount of sleep we can handle most anything. Sleep = Happy in our house.
Oh and there was the one time we were fighting about all the crap in our house that he wouldn't give up, so I threw his Bart Simpson pillow on the roof.
I said something along the lines of "You want it? Go get it!" and threw it up there. So he was out there with a ladder in the middle of the night getting his pillow off the roof. And the worst part is we still have the fucking thing!